Disclaimer: "I'm not an object... I just have my own barcode."
(An: And here it is and hopefully this will not sit untouched on my laptop for weeks... eh heh heh. Anyway... Di: Hee hee... Funny. I'll use that... eventually. Oh, damn, I forgot to use the object/barcode line. TF: Funny, your fics make me do the same thing, so we're square. I agree, Dennys is pretty good. Yay! Slugs and Snails! I love that fic! John-ness! Cat: He has sedatives... because he's from Jersey. And they're psycho like that. Yeah, Forge and Warren (and Cookie) are Pixie Stix bandits! I like curly fries. So does Forge. And Pixie Stix are copyrighted. Ooh, notspiked Pepsi! Fun! Squirrels! Where! SF: Everyone appears to be taking my abbreviations to heart, heheh. Uh-uh. I draw the line at Malaysia. Then I'll never get this -censored- fic done! And I'll never get to the movieverse!X-band. Plot? What plot! Where? -hides-)
ON THE X-QUEST...
Walking, walking, and more walking. That's what the X-questers (and Our Heroes and Thorn and all those other annoying people) were doing. They were somewhere with a desert. And that's all they knew. Oh, yeah, and it was hot. Really hot.
"I wanna go hoooome," Jamie wailed.
"I want you to shut uuuuuup," was Tabby's response. The alcohol was wearing off and taking its place was one helluva hangover.
"Are we lost?" Jubilee asked Logan.
"No."
"Well, then, where are we?"
"I don't know."
"So... we're lost."
"No, I just don't know where we are."
"You've been talking to Sam, haven't you?" Amara demanded.
If Logan had a wall, he would've been banging his head against it right now.
AT THE X-HOTEL...
All of the X-men and the people hanging with them suddenly got a very rude interruption to the unimportant things they were doing. An image of the professor (still in his pimp hat and covered in lipstick and you don't wanna know what else) appeared in their heads along with a GET TO THE GODDAMN BUS YOU FREAKS!
There was a pause, in which all of the X-men (that were still there) tried to process this.
"...What's up with you?" JP asked Bobby, bending down to where Bobby was twitching on the floor. He poked him.
"THE FUNKY CHICKEN!" Bobby shrieked.
JP looked over at Aurora who shrugged. "Poke him again," she suggested.
JP shrugged and obliged.
"PEANUT BUTTER!"
"Maybe we should just drag him," Aurora said, eyeing Bobby as anyone would eye a crazy person.
"That'll work... but drag him where?"
"To the bus," said Rob. "We have to get to the bus... before the cockroaches come back." He twitched.
"What about the hot guy?" JP asked, pointing at Soy.
Rob frowned, crossed his arms, and then got an idea. He gave Soy a good hard kick.
Soy jumped up and grabbed his waist with a cry of "Mi bazo!" (My spleen!)
"Suck it up, dude," was Rob's response. "We gotta book."
"¿Libros? ¿Dónde? ¡Me asustan de libros!" (Books? Where? I'm scared of books!)
"Keep booking, idiot!" Rob cried, grabbing Soy and running.
JP and Aurora both blinked. "I'm confused..." said Aurora.
"And you weren't before?"
IN KITTY'S ROOM...
They too had gotten the message. That was one thing Ah did NOT need ta see again... Rogue thought, rubbing her head.
Kitty grabbed her. "Like, come on, Rogue, let's go!" she chirped.
Ah HATE mornin' people...
AT THE INCREDIBLE X-BUS...
"Ok, ok, line up," said Ororo. "We need to see how many of you are here, alive, and in one piece..."
The assembled X-group wasn't much. Kitty, Rogue, Piotr, Ray (who'd been dug out of the pool and pulled from his adoring merfriends), Bobby, Rob, and the random people they'd attracted.
"In short," said Kitty, "we're doomed."
Amen to that, Rogue thought, punching her fist in the air.
Of course, she hit Soy, who fell over with another cry of "Mi bazo!"
"YOU SHUT UP!" shouted everyone else.
WITH THE INFAMOUS PIXIE STIX BANDITS (and the X-people)...
"So... what now?" Di asked.
"More Pixie Stix," suggested "Kurt."
"We're out," Remy responded, shaking the pointedly empty ten-pound bag.
"You see this is the problem with Pixie Stix the same thing happened to me back at my mansion they just run out too damn quickly, you know?" said Warren, petting Cookie.
"You know what we should probably do?" said Remy. "We should probably go find those other idiots and head for DC... we've only got a day now..."
"DC as in the comics company?" asked Di.
"DON'T SAY THAT NAME!" screeched all of the Marvel-affiliated characters (i.e. everyone else in the room).
"...Ok..." said Di, looking weirded out.
WITH KURT...
"Ok... we're lost... but just how big can one hotel be?" said Kurt (note the lack of quotation marks).
"Very?" Bob suggested.
"Really, really, really really really big?" AJ asked, doing a backflip.
Kurt gave her an odd look. "You remember what we're discussing?"
"P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way?" (1)
Kurt smacked his forehead.
BACK IN THE TUNNEL...
Warren stuck Cookie out first, then yanked her back down. "Is it safe?" he asked of the lump of Play-Doh. Seeming satisfied with the answer, he nodded at the others. "She says yes."
"...Great," said Forge, blinking.
"Kay, on de count of three, we all run screaming across de road t' de hotel, got it?" said Remy.
"Why screaming?" Di asked.
Remy shrugged. "Why not?"
"Good a reason as any, I suppose..."
"One... two... three!"
All five of them (well, six, if you count Cookie) popped up from the hole and ran screaming across the road.
IN THE BAR...
Shelly sat up, looking seriously hungover. "Owwwww..."
This was not helped by the screaming Pixie Stix bandits who came running in the door.
"Scream louder, I like it, really," she groaned, rubbing her head.
"You can stop screaming now," Remy said to Warren.
"Oh. Right."
"My bar," said Di, walking over to her little scrap of sanity, "it's in one piece. Yay."
She began to hug and pat the bartop. Noticing this was attracting quite a few stares, she snapped, "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M HAVING A MOMENT HERE?"
Everyone got the hint and looked away.
BACK AT THE X-BUS...
"Do you suppose that we should just get moving?" Ororo asked.
"We don't have anything else to do," Hank responded. "Everybody GET ON THE BUS!"
Ororo stumbled on board, rubbing her ears.
"To DC, away!" the Professor shrieked.
"¿Como la compañía de los tebeos?" (Like the comics company?) Soy had the hubris to ask.
"SPEAK NOT THE NAME!" everyone screamed (even though only Rob really understood him).
"I, like, sure hope the others know where we're going," said Kitty, biting her lip.
WITH THE X-QUESTERS...
"We don't have a clue where we're going, do we," Rahne said.
"Nope," agreed all the other assorted X-people.
"We're dooooomed... again."
(Look at me I'm amazing getting an update in only two days! WHOOSH! Why not compliment me with a review (and some suggestions 'cause I could use 'em... that don't involve Malaysia)?)
(1) As if you don't know what this is from... when we watched Finding Nemo in class it sparked an interesting debate because it's "P. Sherman" but Nigel (the pelican) calls him "Diver Dan"... odd no? Hey, wow, only one footnote!