Disclaimer: "Bad Grandma! Sit! Please don't eat the kitty!"

(An: Oh, yay, we're getting to the ending... heheh, this story is officially old enough to drink. CF: Uh... I would say both apply to our noble X-banders. I don't really give a damn about Dumbledore being dead; Harry needs to stand on his own two feet. I don't... it's a hassle. Ugh, you can sit through that? It usually makes me physically ill. Jay is kickass; I got the idea from Toddfan. Heheh... I love making fun of John. Oh, it's in this chapter, hold your horses... did I really just type that? I saw the Pyguin picture and it made me laugh... a lot. But... but... I'm scared of penguins... -hides- Otak: Jason Weaver, huh? Aw, nobody ever gets American geography. Writer's block? Don't ask me... that's why I started the X-band; I had writer's block on my OC story. I get it a lot. I find the best thing to do is just distract yourself from whatever's giving you hell and work on something else... why do you think I have three or four running stories? Have y'tried banging your head against the wall for a while? That's my strategy sometimes, lol. Cats Laughing? O.o SF: Heheh... I'm gonna use that... you watch me! TF: I think it's damn funny; the dog always makes me burst out laughing. I read WotW when I was like nine and it scared the crap out of me; I stayed up until like midnight to finish it and then I sat up shivering the rest of the night... the movie is kickass. I've learned not to expect much from Stephen King endings (just look at the Dark Tower series, I slogged through a thousand-plus pages for THAT to happen to Roland!); I just read them for the buildup and characters and crap. He writes like me, now that I think of it... heheh. PB: Don't even get me started on drinking and driving; we get a lot of that up here. I LOVE Little Nicky, I watch it all the time. Uh... JP? No, somehow, I doubt it. Maybe if I ever write slash... but probably no. Yeah, I like the name Mr. Otak too... heheh, we used to joke that our teacher waxed his head 'cause it was shiny. Yeah, I had to check to make sure he was Canadian.)

ON BLAINE THE MONO...

"We're all gonna die, we're all gonna die," Kurt chanted.

"Oh, would you stop being so damn paranoid!" AJ cried.

"When did you get here?" the others demanded.

"Whenever the author remembered me," she replied with a shrug.

"When did you learn about the author?" said Kurt.

"...Who?"

Kurt facepalmed.

"WELL, LITTLE TRAILHANDS, WE'RE HERE!"

"THANK GOD!" everyone else yelled.

Blaine made an annoyed, caps-lock-is-my-territory sound.

Everyone ignored him; they were too busy RLF (1) off the train.

"Now, does anyone know where exactly the concert is?" Shelley asked.

Remy held up a finger. After a moment, the finger went down.

"I hope that's the only part that does that," she commented.

Remy facepalmed.

"We're doomed," Kurt muttered.

"Now I agree with you," AJ said. Her bunnymen nodded in sad agreement.

"Well, we'd better start walking," said Warren, with Forge and Cookie under an arm.

"When did you get here?" everyone else asked.

"Just now, through a plothole," Warren explained, with a shrug. This shrug, of course, means he dropped Cookie and Forge. He gasped. "Cookie!" He dived for the alligator.

"The... pain..." Forge mumbled, twitching slightly. "BUNNIES!"

"You're a weird, weird little man," AJ commented. "Did your mommy ever tell you that?"

AT THE CONCERT...

"What's Kitty doing?" JP asked Bobby.

"Go away."

"I was just asking a question."

"I wish you would die."

"That's not very nice..."

"Please leave or I may be forced to kill you."

"But-"

Aurora elbowed him. "You did make him lose his girlfriend," she pointed out.

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" Bobby yelled, turning red. (2)

"See, no problem," JP replied. "If she wasn't your girlfriend, there's no reason for you to be mad at me for getting her to ditch you."

Bobby did the finger thing (not the Jersey finger thing, the one where you tap your index fingers together because you're nervous? that one). "It's a lot more complicated then that."

JP raised his eyebrows.

"IT IS!"

"She's a fourteen-year-old girl, there's no such thing as complex with them. Either you were going out, or you weren't."

"We weren't."

"So then why are you mad at me!"

"Because you're annoying."

"I am not!"

"You've been following me around all night hitting on me."

"Because I think you're cute. That's flattery, not a crime."

"I'M NOT GAY, DAMMIT!"

"So?"

Bobby screamed.

"You're going to have to be more articulate than that."

What was Kitty doing, you ask? Actually, it's more likely you don't give a damn, but I'll tell you anyway. She was talking with Mr. Otak. "So, you see, Mr. Otak, we're, like, totally can't perform."

"...YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GO ON IN HALF AN HOUR!" Mr. Otak shrieked. "YOU'RE THE STARS! THE BIG ATTRACTION! THIS WHOLE THING WILL BE A FAILURE IF YOU CAN'T GO ON!"

"Well, we can't," Kitty said, shrugging. "Not without our, like, missing people."

"AUGH!" Mr. Otak began to run around in a circle, reminiscent in many ways of Pietro making a tornado.

Kitty and Rogue stared.

WITH JOTT

I bet you all thought I forgot about them. Nope. They've just been busy recovering from the last asswhup they got.

Remember where we left off? Scott and Jean were being killed by paintballgun-weilding zombie penguins of death.

Believe it or not, this was still going on.

Then General Pengy spoke. "STOP!"

All of the penguins stopped whupping Jott's asses.

"We must proceed to the concert of mutant rights thing!"

"How shall we get there, oh great general?" asked an INRPJPLD (only this time it stands for I'm Not Really a Penguin, Just a Plot Device).

"Through a plothole, of course," General Pengy says. "For an INRPJPD, you're pretty stupid."

General Pengy snapped his flippers and they were off.

WITH THE INFAMOUS PIXIE STICKS BANDITS... AND THOSE OTHER FREAKS, SOMEWHERE IN D.C...

"We're lost, aren't we," said Di.

"Yep," Shelley agreed.

"What we need," said Remy, "is a plot device."

"As it just so happens," Forge said (he was not facing the bunnies, so he wasn't freaking), "I have one." He pulled out a purple octagonal device. "I have no idea what it does, but that's what makes it a plot device, right?"

"We're doomed," Di mumbled, facepalming.

"Yep," Shelley agreed.

"Want some cheese?" AJ asked, offering some of her Cheese on a Stick to them. (3)

"Er, no thanks," Di said, edging away.

"I'm good," Shelley said, nodding.

"Your loss," AJ replied.

Forge messed with the plot device and pressed a giant red button.

FIVE MINUTES LATER...

"Dude!" Kurt choked. "Where ARE we!"

"The concert!" Remy replied, doing a little victory dance.

"I said it was a plot device," Forge said, looking smug.

Di began to hum "Bright Eyes."

Forge squeaked. "A pox on you woman, a pox!" (4)

"...Why are we all black?" Kurt asked, scraping some black dust off himself.

"Must be a side effect of teleportation," AJ commented, taking the purple thing from the now-twitching Forge and inspecting it. "Hmm." (5)

On the other side of the mosh pit in front of the stage, the penguin horde was appearing. "That was slow," INRPJPD commented.

"We're stuck using dialup," General Pengy explained. "We're not in the right area for broadband right now." (6)

"...Uh-huh..."

"Get out of here, you pathetic non-being, you." General Pengy snapped his flipper and the INRPJPD disappeared.

Rogue, meanwhile, was twitching.

"What's your, like, problem?" Kitty asked her.

It's here, she thought-hissed.

Kitty, of course, didn't hear that. She just stared. "You're really weird, you know?"

Rogue glared at her, and then walked out.

Kitty blinked, and then went back to watching Mr. Otak freak.

Rogue stalked out to where the penguins were staked out. She smacked Jean upside the head. Let me talk!

"In a minute... when the world stops spinning..." Jean mumbled.

Rogue kicked her. Ah hate you.

"Don't we all?" said General Pengy.

Rogue blinked, and then backed away slowly, because General Pengy is pretty creepy like that.

"We should probably go get our instruments and stuff," Pyro pointed out.

Remy stared at him. "Did y' just... make an intelligent suggestion?"

Pyro seemed P.O.'ed. "Kurt's the one with the bad ideas!" (7)

"So says tinfoil-in-de-microwave-boy," Remy replied, deadpanning. (8)

"That was ONE TIME-" Pyro started, before Remy and Kurt dragged him off.

They found their way backstage to Kitty, who was still watching Mr. Otak freak. Kitty whirled and began to do a little happy-dance when she saw the others. "You're here! Omigod!" She squealed and turned to Otak. "Like, Mr. Otak! It's ok! They're here! We can go on!"

Mr. Otak blinked. "...we can?"

"Yeah, our drummers and guitarist just, like, showed up!" Kitty chirped.

"That's them?" Mr. Otak asked, pointing at Remy, Kurt, and John and looking a little skeptical. Well, they were covered in the black stuff.

"Well... yeah!"

"...WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Mr. Otak cried.

"Stop being so melodramatic," said Jay, coming off the stage. "You guys're up."

"Oh, joy, here comes the big song-n-dance sequence," John muttered.

"Shut UP!" Kurt begged him. "I don't wanna go back in the author's basement! The idiot who designed Tabby's hair is down there!" (9)

"...Good point," John admitted. "Why don't we just go set up?"

TEN MINUTES LATER...

The X-band was set up, and everyone was ready... everyone except Rogue, of course. Rogue was the lead singer. Rogue couldn't talk. All this added up to a very, very, very pissed off Rogue.

That was, of course, when Jean decided to finally remove the whole speaking-ban thing.

"Holy shit!" Rogue yelled. She turned to Remy. "You are the most-"

That was, of course, when Mr. Otak wisely decided to turn off her mic until the end of her outburst. "Censorship rules, eh?"

Logan looked up from his sobbing over Rodna, suddenly cheered up. "Tell me you're Canadian," he begged. "I need to hear these words."

"I'm from Toronto," Mr. Otak said. "You don't sound Canadian." (10)

"That's because I don't remember my time in Canada and thus don't speak with an accent," Logan replied. "And besides, I like going for the whole gruff-angle, anyway."

Mr. Otak blinked.

"I've got a Bottomless Bottle of Beer."

"Now you're speaking my language!"

Mr. Otak threw an arm around Logan's shoulders and they strolled off to discuss hamster love, freakouts, and get really really drunk.

"Glad someone's happy," Ororo muttered as the X-band started up. Then Forge tapped her on the shoulder. "To hell with serenity!" she yelled and tackled him. (11)

"Random mack session, check," Hank murmured. "Why don't I ever get any loooooove?" He burst into tears.

"Scary," Forge and Ororo said in unison, then got back to business.

To sum up, it was a big party-type thing, everyone was happy (except Rogue, who, you know, doesn't do happy), and the concert was a big success. Blah blah blah by now you're not even reading you just want this chapter to be over like I do.

Except, of course, we've forgotten something...

WITH THE ALMIGHTY SHIKAKA AND ALL THAT...

"At last, my minion, we have found what we have searched for all this time," Apocaroach rejoiced, holding up a book with a caricatured wombat on the front.

"...What is it?"

"The Wombromonicon, you fool!" (12)

"...What is it?"

Apocaroach backhanded Mesmeroach. "Our ticket to finally defeating the X-men, you fool! And conquering the world! ...and resuming our original forms and all that! This is the most fabled book of marsupial-flavored malignant magic in the macroverse!"

"Isn't the alliteration a little much, oh lord and master?" Mesmeroach asked. Apocaroach's response was a scathing eyebrow. "...Forget I said anything. So how do we get to the X-men? We don't even know where they went?"

"Through a plothole, you fool!"

"Yes, yes, of course, sir," Mesmeroach agreed. He still looked weirded out, though.

(And that's that... ugh, it sucked. The next chapters will be faster. And better. I promise.)

(1) Ok, ok, I'll translate: Running Like A-Certain-Four-Letter-Word-I'm-Not-Allowed-To-Put-In-More-Than-Once-Thanks-To-The-Rating.

(2) The obligatory Jubby crack.

(3) I know this joke is gacked from something else... oh, yes, "You are SO Cursed!" by Naomi Nash. "Why would I want to go to the mall?" "Because of Cheese on a Stick. You love Cheese on a Stick. Mmm! Cheese! On a stick!"

(4) Gacked from "Teacher Training." I think that is my favorite gag.

(5) From Red Vs. Blue. If you use the teleporter, for some reason you get covered in black stuff. I really reccomend getting the DVDs for this. You will laugh. And laugh. Until you choke. Trust me.

(6) -.- This is what we were told when we went to my ISP's HQ and requested broadband. You get a gold pocket protector if you understood that.

(7) Crack from "The X-Band, Part Deuce!" of course.

(8) From "I Could Grab it with My Nubs", a really good fic... if you don't mind the uber-disturbing pairing Remy/John.

(9) Clover would get this... she suggested I stick him down there after discovering first-hand what a bitch to draw her hair is.

(10) Logan never sounds Canadian... except in the webimation "X-men: Death Becomes Them", of course.

(11) You KNOW I had to have some random Storge in there.

(12) The book of ultimate evil from Megatokyo. It's what makes Largo think Tohya-san is a zombie leader... or it could be the fact that he's almost always drunk. Yeah, that doesn't help... or the fact that she's a creepy teenage girl with a crush on him... why am I telling you this? SO YOU'LL GO READ THE DAMN THING!