Disclaimer: "So... you're the elder god Cthulhu and you're here to take over the world?" "Yes, yes, creamy, delicious world domination!"

(An: 100 reviews! Yay! Otak: So... have you been scarred for life yet? lol Had to ask. Drinking with Logan... I can only imagine. DCDDFD: I know, that sounded like that... I knew I KNEW it from somewhere. Well, I FINALLY found someone smarter than me, even though I haven't taken that test in like a year, lol. Penguins. It's a long story. See the last chapter of the second X-Band. -blink- An ACTUAL fic from you? Holy shit! Heheh, just kidding. ...what was THAT about? Ugh, do NOT mention that; I just found out a friend of a friend has mild anorexia. Total head/heartache. Yep, Mr. Otak's insane... I wonder if he noticed, lol. Yeah, Tabby's hair bitching is a disease. First Toddfan did it, then I did it, and now Clover's doing it. -blink- ...good point. I don't know... yet. -insert evil laughter- TF: I knew that would please you. Yeah, I saw the movie first... honestly, I liked that ending better... it made more sense, as sad as that is.)

AT THE CONCERT...

There was a poof and Apocaroach and Mesmeroach appeared. Amazingly, nobody batted an eye... no, wait, that's not amazing; it's routine.

"...Why are we all black?" Mesmeroach asked.

"Question not the powers of the Wombromonicon, you fool!" Apocaroach cried, brandishing the fell, evil, wombat-y tome.

Mesmeroach sniffled. "Whatever happened to 'Mesmeroach?'" he whimpered.

Apocaroach backhanded him again. "SILENCE, LACKEY!"

Mesmeroach started to sob quietly.

Apocaroach kicked him, and then turned his attention to the Wombromonicon. "All right, all right, here's one," he announced, flipping through the book. He cleared his throat and said something.

There was a poof, and Apocaroach and Memeroach were returned to their normal shapes (they were still all black though).

"Black and blue, I chose my way, I the candid castaway," Mesmero warbled. (1)

Apocalypse backhanded him.

"What was that for, sir?"

"The big concert-y thing is over; if you wanted to quote Anna Nalick you should've done it then!"

Mesmero blinked.

"Why am I forced to consort with such idiots?" Apocalypse muttered. He returned to the Wombromonicon, but was interrupted by someone tugging at that toga-loincloth-thing he wears.

"Excuse me," demanded a voice from behind him, "but is that the fabled Necromonicon of Lovecraftian lore?"

Apocalypse looked up and then down, blinking. "...What the HELL are you?"

The purple, midgety, squidlike thing rose up to its full height (which, admittedly, wasn't much). "I am the elder god Cthulhu, lord of the realm of Tartarus!"

"...Isn't that the stuff that gets stuck to your teeth?" Mesmero inquired.

Apocalypse stared at him for a moment, and then turned back to Cthulhu. "You foolish purple midget! This is the WOMBROMONICON! Quite different."

"I am NOT a purple midget!" Cthulhu responded. "I'm violet and vertically challenged. There's a difference." (2)

"...I'm sure," Apocalypse responded.

Cthulhu waved his arms. "Come on, come on, I'm only this way because I manifested in a toilet," he responded.

"...I'm gonna forget I ever met you now, buh-bye," Apocalypse responded.

"No respect, no respect," Cthulhu muttered. Then he heard a meow and ran off, screaming about someone named Mr. Buttons. (3)

"That was weird," Mesmero commented.

"For once, you got something right, lackey," Apocalypse agreed. "Now, onto business!"

WITH THE X-MEN...

Rogue was mentally ticking things off. Ok, we've had the big reunion bit, and the random concert thing (sans the random lyrics), so now what're we missing?

There was a giant explosion as Apocalypse and Mesmero blasted through the wall with the randomly amazing powers of the Wombromonicon.

Oh. That.

"Weren't they cockroaches the last time we saw them?" Zee whispered to M.A.

"Probably."

Zee blinked and decided not to pursue the subject. "So what do we do then? Scream and panic?"

M.A. turned her head to stare incredulously at Zee. "No, stupidhead! We wait for the plot device is what we do!"

Zee blinked again. Whether it was at the stupidhead or at the plot device, we may never know.

"Three... two... one..." said M.A.

Cthulhu came through the hole in the wall. "It is the Necromonicon!" he yelled.

Apocalypse held up the book, pointing to the wombat-y evil on the cover. "See the wombat-y evil! SEE IT!"

"That's MINE, bitch!" Cthulhu yelled, and tackled him.

"And with that display of OOCness..." M.A. muttered.

"Dude," said Kurt. "What's with the squid?"

"It's not a squid," M.A. replied, indignant, "it's the elder god Cthulhu from the depths of Tartarus."

"...Riiiight."

The rest of the X-people-thing-group just sat there, watching Apocalypse try to rabbit punch Cthulhu. Somehow, even though Apocalypse was like three feet taller than the purple midget, Cthulhu was winning.

"Toldja," said M.A., inspecting her nails.

"I always thought plot devices would be... y'know... taller," Zee commented, cocking her head.

"Eh, you take what you get in these kind of fics," M.A. responded, shrugging.

"True, true."

Apocalypse managed to shove Cthulhu off him and held him at arm's length. He then spouted a few words from the Wombromonicon, and Cthulhu disappeared.

"Where did you send him?" Mesmero asked. "Nowhere nice, I hope."

Apocalypse shrugged.

"Ok, so maybe that wasn't the plot device," M.A. murmured.

"You need a plot device?" Forge asked (he and Ororo had finally disattached). "I've got one right here!" He pulled it out and pressed the button. There was another big crash as a different wall fell in. Through the wall came a bunch of (you guessed it... or maybe not) dancing chihuahua robots! "...My robots!" Forge asked. "Damn, I was hoping for an explosion. Must be on the fritz."

The robots clapped their hands, and began to do the macarena.

"AUGH!" cried all of the X-people. "IT BURNS!"

Apocalypse and Mesmero, though, seemed to be hypnotized by the scary beat. After staring at the chihuahuas long enough to learn the dance, they began to do it too. They followed the chihuahuas out, still dancing.

"...That was SO disturbing," said Rogue, after a moment.

"Y' said it, chere," said Remy.

"That's what we were missing!" Rogue cried, snapping her fingers. "A random ROMY mack session!" With that, she tackled Remy. (3)

Everyone decided it was better to just ignore the heavily macking teens and slowly backed away.

Nobody noticed, of course, that Pyro was missing...

WITH CTHULHU...

Cthulhu found himself in the middle of a ring of stones. An annoying little man stepped forward and started speaking. "You, like many before you, have become unhinged from time. You will be sent on a series of missions-"

Since Cthulhu was back in his normal, taller form, he punched him in the face. "Shut up." (4)

(Short, late, but to the point, I know. Oh, well, I'll try to get this finished before school starts; I have eight days. But there're only three more chapters, so that's heartening.)

(1) Anna Nalick, "Satellite." Idunno, I've just been kind of on a kick with her, lately... oh, God, it happened again. The jokes from my parodies leaked over to the X-band. It's like a disease!

(2) This modified version of Cthulhu (which I hope has sufficiently confused you) is from the webcomic "Cthulhu and Kelley." Google it, I beg you. It's awesome. Even if you don't understand Cthulhu (like me) you'll love it anyway. That is in fact a direct discourse from it. The disclaimer quote is the bit that comes before it. The creamy delicious part is about ice cream.

(3) Well, I did say originally there was gonna be Romy... it's an X-band staple, so I had to bung it in SOMEWHERE.

(4) The annoying little man is the Timebroker, since Cthulhu has been Exiled, of course. That whole bit is stolen from "X-men: Revisiting Profit" a webimation parodying House of M, as I understand.