Disclaimer: "If at first you don't succeed... skydiving is not for you."

(An: And here 'tis... another X-band staple: the Pyro insanity chapter. Don't give me that look- that "Skysong, get your butt moving" look. I know I'm slow. And pathetic. But that's what you've come to expect from me. TF: Yes, evil... but without him we wouldn't have Exiles!Morph. We'd just have Lame!Changeling. That's the idea. CF: Tartarus... hmm, dunno, you'll have to ask Cthulhu. Yeah... bleh. Mike. G: Why thank you, sir. I've been neglecting my shapeshifting friend since I wrote him his own story, haven't I... hmm. DCDDFD: -sticks tongue out- I'm a year younger than you (from what I've gathered) so there. That'd be cool... actually that's what I have to do for the next story in the Big Boom series... if I can ever finish this -beep- chapter of IRT... ugh. Huh. I know, I love Cthulhu and Kelley. Sooo funny. Wow, you did? I was just gonna have it be Cthulhu... and then I couldn't figure out how to have Cthulhu beat him... so I brought in the robots! ELDEST! OMFG IT'S OUT! -fangirl squeal- Seriously, I just finished Eragon earlier. I love Paolini- he's more like J.R.R. Tolkien reincarnated... and a helluva lot better. I bet I do too; I keep crossing my fingers for Eragon/Arya 'cause I'm a sucker like that... I envy Paolini; he can actually map things. I just stole a map of Neillsville and modified it for my imaginary town.)

WITH PYRO, SOMEWHERE IN D.C...

As usual in the X-band series, Pyro had seen his opening and wandered off to burn stuff. He was flicking his lighter open and shut, searching for the optimum national monument/icon/senator to fry when he tripped over something... er, someone. "Hey! I'm sleeping here!" said the voice.

John blinked. He knew that voice... it appeared on a few episodes... "...Ray? You're still alive?"

"The mer people saved me... hey, you weren't at the hotel! How would you know!" said Ray, getting up.

"I know everything," John replied, shrugging. "I'm filling that slot this chapter."

"Ah," said Ray, backing off a bit.

A short, brown-haired girl came out of the shop next to them. "Can't I leave you alone for five minutes?" she demanded of Ray, backhanding him. (1)

"Ow!" said Ray.

"...Who're you?"

"We're the random insanity characters who are supposed to watch in horror and make comments as you destroy half our nation's most beloved city," she replied.

Pyro blinked.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm Cassy."

"Right, then," said John. "Um... nice seein' ya Ray, but you know how it is- stuff to burn, people to bug. Gotta go!"

"Don't they actually need him at the concert?" Cassy asked Ray.

"Eh, who cares? This is gonna be funny... or at least mind-scarring."

"Good point."

Pyro pulled his lighter out of his pocket again and started looking around. Then he spotted a fat cop who (apparently) had survived the mauling by a fire kitty he'd gotten in the first X-band. Mr. "Hey you, with the donut" dropped his donut and booked as fast as his fat legs would take him. (2)

Pyro blinked, and then got an eeeevil look on his face. If there's no ten-story inferno in place, then I'll just have to make one, won't I, mate... He grinned, and a little flicker of fire came out from his lighter.

"Oh, God," said Ray, in the background. "We've gotta stop him."

"But I just said-" Cassy started.

Ray just stared at her for a moment. "I don't really give a damn, since you're just one of the author's netfriends getting a random cameo." He rubbed his hands together and said (you guessed it), "Let's fry that Aussie."

"What's up with the 'let's'?" Cassy asked him. "I don't have neat mutant powers."

Ray glared at her for a moment, then zapped Pyro, who promptly passed out. "We'd better go get the others to come scrape him up."

FIVE MINUTES LATER...

Pyro groaned and opened his eyes. He was being poked with a stick. He blinked. Standing over him with the stick was a monkey, standing next to a girl with a purple thing on her shoulder.

WHAT THE MONKEY SAID: "Is it dead?"

WHAT PYRO HEARD: "Oook ook gak eek!"

"No, I don't think so," said the girl. "Are you dead?" she inquired of Pyro.

"I bloody well might be with this headache," Pyro muttered. "I always imagined hell having penguins, though."

WHAT THE MONKEY SAID: "Me too."

WHAT PYRO HEARD: "Eek gak oook ook!"

"I'm Thorn," said the girl. "Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a demonic presence from hell. I'm a cameo."

"Another cameo?" Pyro muttered. "The author must not've watched Fairly OddParents in a while."

WHAT THE MONKEY SAID: "Uh... let's get out of here."

WHAT PYRO HEARD: "Gak oook ook eek!"

"Good idea," said Thorn, backing off slowly and then running away.

Pyro rolled his eyes and went off to find another random cameo in his search for something to burn.

It was then that he found it- the fire! A big blaze downtown, to be precise. He got that big creepy grin he's always wearing in Evo and practiced his evil laughter.

And then, when he was five minutes from the fire, he paused, hearing a meow. Pyro blinked. A small orange cat in boots, a hat, and what appeared to be a swordbelt stepped out in front of him. The cat blinked huge green eyes, holding its hat in its hands and looking quite contrite. Pyro dropped his lighter. "Awww..." he mumbled. (3)

"Pray for mercy," murmured the cat, straightening up and placing his hat on his head, "from Puss-"

Pyro got the hint and ran off screaming because he knew the cat could kick his ass. Then he came back for a minute to grab his lighter and ran off screaming again.

The cat blinked. "Aw," he muttered. "I didn't even get to finish my line."

Pyro sighed, leaning against a building and gasping for breath.

"Are you at the 'evading the cops' bit, then?" Cassy asked.

"Where did you come from!"

"I'm everywhere. Fear me." Then the midget (4) tilted back her head and let off a perfectly evil laugh.

Pyro stared for a moment, then said, "Wow. Nice."

"Why thank you." Then she looked around. "Hmm, they're late."

"Who's late? The potato people? You didn't arrange a meeting with them, did you!" (5)

Cassy gave him the WTF eyebrow for a moment, then shrugged and turned back to what she was doing. "Ah. There we go," she said, apparently spotting something.

Ray and Morph came strolling down the lane. Pyro eyed them skeptically. "We've come to take you back," said Ray.

"Be assimilated or die!" Morph cried, in the voice of the Borg Queen. (6) He cackled.

"Oh my god! Agent Smith!" Pyro cried, pointing at Ray (who happened to be wearing sunglasses). He then ran screaming down the street.

"I take it he does that a lot?" Cassy asked.

"Sort of," said Ray and Morph in unison.

"Tranq darts?" Ray asked Morph, who nodded.

"Tranq darts."

"You guys have tranq darts?" Cassy asked, impressed.

"Well..."

FIVE MINUTES LATER...

Cassy's mouth was hanging open as she watched Morph sneak up on Pyro (who was still screaming, just not running). Morph was humming the "Mission Impossible" theme and holding a rock. "That's your tranq dart!" she demanded of Ray.

"Yep... who do you think we are, Gambit?" (7)

"That'll like kill him!"

"Some casualties may occur," Ray quoted. "It says so on the back of the Killer Rock (tm)."

Cassy gaped. "Oh, God," she muttered, facepalming.

There was a thunk as Morph threw the Killer Rock (tm) and Pyro, to fill the pun quotient of this chapter, dropped like a stone.

A WHILE LATER...

Pyro swam back into conciousness. Whoa! Deja vu! "I feel like I got hit with a brick..."

"If you killed our drummer, Ah'll have to kill you," said Rogue to Morph. "Contractual obligations and whatnot."

Morph stared at her for a moment, then burst into tears. "I feel so betrayed!"

Rogue blinked. "Ah barely know you."

Morph paused, sniffling. "So... this isn't 'Instellar Road Trip'?"

Rogue stared. "Wrong universe, kid."

"Oh. Right. Sorry." Morph sucked it up and walked off, whistling. (8)

"Hey! What about me! I'm a drummer!" Kurt cried.

"Nobody cares, Kurt," Pyro replied. "You're a drummer, but I'm the important one." He preened.

"...But I'm the author's favorite character!"

"And you're happy about that?"

"...Damn, good point."

That was when Mr. Otak came running by (weaving a little), yelling "X-MEN! BACK IN THE JET!"

"That would be our cue," said Pyro, getting up.

"Exit, stage left!" Kurt cried, bamfing off to the jet. (9)

(Ok, ok, that was late and stuff, but I'm in a hurry, so, -insert random Skysong excuse/apology here-. That said, next chapter (which I -cough-reallyneedsuggestionsfor-cough): The trip back home!)

(1) Cassy's cameo. She asked for it. Don't give me that look. It unblocked my writer's block for a bit, so you should be grateful.

(2) Primarily stuck in there to make my friend Katie burst out laughing. That was her and Shelly's favorite joke from the original X-band.

(3) Ok... yeah, a really random Puss in Boots cameo. Because I love that little guy.

(4) Heheheh... Cassy is about an inch shorter than me, something I frequently mock.

(5) I remember reading a really random fic that started in Pyro's POV but was really Remy's dream (or nightmare, rather) and turned into a Romy... um, anyway, it involved potato people, Evil!Remy, and banana weapons. Don't ask.

(6) Please tell me I'm not the only one who watched TNG. Please. Oh, all right, the Borg Queen was this crazy bitch who ran these insect-hive-mind-cyborg people. And she was always rambling on about "assimilation." This is also kindasorta a subtle reference to "Instellar Road Trip," but only really perceptive people would pick up on it without me pointing it out.

(7) You know, in Cajun Spice, where Remy's staff had a gas thingy in it?

(8) Morph and Rogue are... y'know... friends in the Big Boom universe. Yeah.

(9) Ok, here is my classic cartoon trivia for the week (i.e., if no one knows this, I will cry): There's an infamous pink cat who often said this when he need to make a hasty retreat. Who was it?