Disclaimer: I own nothing. End of Disclaimer (cause it isn't the end of the story…hahaha I crack myself up!)
Summary: So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy…. and she's most likely going slightly insane.
A/N: Look! Look it's me! I'm here! I'm writing the next chapter! Aren't you proud of me? Ok, now, I just had one of the scariest experiences of my life and that was my first driving lesson with a professional instructor. The instructor seriously acted like he had been sedated. He talked like it to. And then I was driving and I was turning kind of slow cause I was nervous and this guy honked and then swore at me! Oh it was a harrowing experience, I assure you. But, I was aided along in my recovery by your WONDERFUL reviews! Goodness, some of you even made me laugh which was excellent given my harrowing experience (deceptive shadows: YES! Packing is VERY over-rated! Prongsie4028: darn that jumping Lysol. I know the feeling. Stuff jumps out of the cupboards at me all the time.) Oh goodness, I'll just be quiet….
The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter Six
Year Seven Girls Room – supplementary documentation by Chelsea Fanrae
It's four o'clock in the morning and Lily just got in. She's been crying. I can tell. She still is, right now as she lay in her bed, the covers pulled up around her neck and she's burying her face in them. Alice woke up when she came in and just looked sadly at me and then lay back down.
It won't help in the morning when Lily sees that our entire room, along with anything that was sitting out in the open, is a pale shade of pink.
The Great Hall – the Gryffindor table
Lily?
Come on Lily.
DON'T IGNORE ME.
LILY EVANS! STOP PRETENDING THAT YOU CAN'T SEE THIS BOOK!
Chelsea, I respectfully request that you stop documenting my life. I don't want to remember this. Also, why can't you just SPEAK to me?
Well I respectfully choose to ignore your request and I can't just speak to you because then the entire table would hear our conversation. Now talk to me.
Why do I have to talk? I don't want these days of my life immortalized of paper. I'd rather I just forgot them.
Because Lily, this is going to blow over, and don't you want to look back and see how?
No. James Potter and I are too different. It'll never work out. Ever. If I give him an inch, he takes a mile.
Are those even the same form of measurement?
………
Right, right, not the point. But listen Lils; I don't think James did it.
Then who did?
Well, I don't know quite yet.
He did it Chelsea. I know he did.
Why do you have to be so stubborn! He likes you Lily, why would he do something to push you away?
He doesn't like me. He's just playing head games. He waited until I forgave him so that his hair would be put back to normal and then he pulled another prank. I just can't take it anymore.
Lily, give him a chance. He didn't know about the paint. You could see it on his face.
So you're siding with him?
No Lily, NO.
Then what?
I just…I don't know. I don't think he did it.
Well I KNOW he did. I have to go. We have D.A.D.A.
D.A.D.A – silent study time
Lily? Why didn't you take the diary with you at breakfast?
I told you, I don't want to remember this. Therefore, I have no need of a diary.
But Lily---
No.
But---
Chelsea? Drop it ok?
All right.
Crap.
Crap, crap, crap.
This is not good.
Lily has never been this mad at James before. Sure he's ticked her off, but I think she always found it funny. She always EXPECTED it. But she opened her heart a bit, and then he pulled a prank and now, I think it's clamped shut even tighter than before.
Divination – Another entry by Chelsea
Why do I take this class? Ok, I know this is Lily's diary but goodness, my head is just so full of things I need to get them out, and goodness knows, nothing ever happens in this class so I have all the time in the world.
Chelsea?
Whoa. Hi. I thought you didn't want to write in here?
I've decided that what's going to happen in the next few hours I most certainly want to 'document'.
Lily, why are you smiling like that?
I'm going to get back at Potter.
Lily? The smiling is kind of getting creepy.
I'm gonna get Potter back so good.
Lily, the smiling along with the uncharacteristically bad grammar is really starting to scare me.
And you, dearest Chelsea, my best friend in the entire universe, are going to help me.
Oh this CAN'T be good.
Stairwell – a waiting our sure fire detension
Oh this is not good. HOW could I allow Lily to talk me in to this?
You know, she appears so sweet and docile, but she's not, ok? SHE. IS. NOT.
She's sitting in the stairwell up to the girls dorms with me. Everyone is at dinner right now and we're sitting in a dark stairwell staring into a dark common room.
Do you know why?
No?
Well I'll tell you.
It's because Lily's gone bonkers and is hell bent on 'getting Potter so good'. That's why. And the nutcase coerced me into helping.
We're going to get detention for a week.
What we've done is so totally low, so despicably low and childish and just down right EVIL that I don't think the Marauders would go this far.
But Lily just HAD to do it.
Because she just HAD to 'get Potter so good'
And she just HAD to drag me along.
But I don't think Potter even pulled the prank that caused Lily to go nutters.
I think Sirius did. It makes sense. He was ticked off that Lily didn't change his back so he got even.
And James took the fall.
I'd imagine James isn't too happy with Sirius.
I still can't believe what Lily did, I mean she actually---
Oh Merlin. Someone's coming.
"James, please! James don't be mad. I mean it was all a bit of fun wasn't it?James, I'm sorry! I said I'd fix it! James? James wait! PRONGS!" Sirius is yelling. Then the portrait opened and in troops four people who I can only guess are the Marauders. I can just see who they are, but just barely. James was the first to enter, and now he's walking quickly way from Sirius.
"I can't BELIEVE you'd do this to me! Lily and I may not have been the best of friends but she certainly hates me now! Why didn't you SAY something!" James yells at Sirius.
Lily is shifting next to me. I can tell she's starting to put two and two together.
"James, calm down. Sirius did say he was sorry. He said that he'd go and tell Lily next time he saw her. That should fix everything," Remus says, trying to calm James down. I can see the short, squat figure of Peter hovering next to Remus. Goodness that kid creeps me out.
"She won't believe him. She'll think I sent him to say that to make her forgive me," James says, attempting to make his way quickly to the boys staircase but he tripped over something.
"Argh, WHY is it so dark in here!" he yells and that's when he casts a spell to light the candles in the room.
Lily is hiding her face in her hands.
"No, no, no, I can't watch. I can't believe what I've done," she's muttering. Yeah well suck it up princess. It's your own fault for not believing me.
As the Marauders' eyes adjust to the light, they realise what's been strung around the room. It slowly dawns on them that those colourful banners hanging on string that's been criss-crossed every which way across the common roomare not banners, but iare actually James' boxers.
Every single pair he owns.
Including the ones with snitches and broomsticks on them.
And hearts.
And they're just standing there, their mouths gaping. They don't move. They don't speak.
Nothing.
Lily has peeked through her fingers and is watching, horrified at what she's done.
Sirius is the first to speak.
"Oh my. James' boxers…are hanging from the ceiling."
"It appears so," Remus adds, staring up at a pair with twinkling stars on them.
"It was Lily," James says suddenly, "Lily did this."
And at that moment, the portrait opened and in walked the whole of Gryffindor house.
Lily has now buried her face in myrobes and all I can do is pat her shoulder.
James looks directly at us on the darkened staircase, his face stoic and expressionless.
And all I can do is take Lily up to the dormitory and hope that this really does all blow over.
One Week Later – The Girls Dorms
I haven't slept for a week. But I have banged my head on my desk repeatedly at least once in every class, every day for one week.
The only reason I'm writing in here is because Madam Pomfrey ordered me to.
And the only reason Madam Pomfrey ordered me to was because Chelsea convinced her I needed to write down my feelings or I would explode.
For some reason, Madam Pomfrey believed her.
Do you want to know how my week's been?
It's been horrible.
Why, you ask?
Because I'm a horrible person and horrible people have horrible weeks.
I can't believe what I did. I mean, I strung James Potter's UNDERWEAR from the common room ceiling.
Chelsea and I served detention. We had to clean the trophy room.
But that isn't the worst part.
It was when I went to apologize for my stupidity.
I tried to apologize, I really did.
I walked up the staircase to the boys' dorms and I knocked on the door and waited and Remus opened the door. He gave me this sad smile and went to get James. Sirius came up to the door and just looked at me before saying,
"He didn't do it, Lily. I did."
"I know that now, Sirius."
"I should have told you that before."
"Yeah, that would have been nice."
And that's when James came to the door and, stepping in front of Sirius, shut it in my face.
The Library – a hidden isle to do homework
Homework? Lily this is just cruel. I don't want to do homework.
We have to get this done.
Admit it Lily, you're throwing yourself into you're work to avoid trying to fix things with James.
My, my, aren't you observant?
Lily, come on, just apologize! Tell him you like him! You know that's why the prank bugged you so much! If you knew Sirius had done it, it wouldn't have bugged you as much. It's the same with James. It hurt him more cause he thought on some level you cared about him.
I do care.
Well then you kind of handled the situation wrong then, didn't you?
Oh thanks, Chelsea, I really did want a side of guilt with my main course of guilt with guilt sauce.
I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that. You've been through enough.
It's ok. You're right anyways.
Hm… You're finally learning.
Oh ha-ha, Chelsea.
I'm funny aren't I?
Like a rubber chicken. Now seriously, we have to get this done. And no more talking about my faults, ok?
Ugh…fine…I'll do my homework and hold off on ---Oh. My. Gawd.
What? What is it?
No, NO! Don't look.
OH MY GAWD.
I TOLD you not to look.
Can…Can they see us?
I think they're too preoccupied to notice…
I…I can't…oh my gawd… I have to get out of here.
Oh crud.
Crud, crud, crud.
I'm sorry Lily, but it's for your own good that I write this down. I promised myself that I would document everything if you wouldn't. Even the…unhappy things.
James stumbled into the library a few minutes ago with a girl.
And they were kissing.
The Librarian can't see any of us as we are hidden from view by shelves of books.
And before Lily left, James had pulled away from the girl he was kissing and looked up at Lily and said hello.
And now all I'm left to do is hope that Lily doesn't do something really stupid.
A/N: Alright, there it is…This is what I leave you to think about for twelve days.
Now, I realise that this story is supposed to be humorous and I did try to plant some nuggets of humour in it. Don't worry…when I get back I shall update right away. Let's just say, Lily gets angry and when Lily and James are both angry, hilarity often ensues.
There, that's the only half-a-hint-but-not-really-a-hint I will allow. Thank you, all of you, again for your lovely reviews. They make me happy and a happy me is a …me who writes long chapters:D See you in twelve days.