Chapter Twelve

Merry had gone back to his own home after staying at the Cottons for another half hour. He didn't even bother hunting out ruffians that day. He had too much on his mind and just needed to be alone. He lay on his bed in his bedroom and stared up at the ceiling. He had never been so confused in his life before.

His friends kept insisting that he loved Estella, and that she loved him back. He kept telling himself it wasn't possible, but if it was so impossible, then where were his friends getting these ideas? He knew they wouldn't lie to him about something like that.

And then there was Azalea. She was clearly infatuated with him, though he didn't fully understand how. He didn't know much about her and wasn't sure if he could ever love her back. It had nothing to do with Estella of course. He kept telling himself that firmly. Azalea just wasn't his kind of lass and that was all.

He continued to just lay there and think. His mother came to the door and told him that tea was ready, but he refused to come out. His mother went away and no one else bothered him after that.

He thought back to everything that his friends had been saying to him. They kept pressing him to treat Estella in a kinder way. He was getting tired of hearing it. They weren't giving him advice, they were just telling him what to do and that wouldn't help. The only person who actually tried to advise him in the right direction was far away and she couldn't help him right now.

He remembered what Eowyn had said to him and thought it all over again. Maybe he should listen to her now. Her words now made more sense than they had when he had first heard them.

Eowyn had recovered from her injuries and wasn't allowed to go fight at the Black Gate, and the days were long for her and she didn't have much to do. She hadn't yet met Faramir and spent long hours talking to Merry and finding out all she could about him. Learning about him helped draw her thoughts away from herself and her pain.

She had asked him about his home and about all the people he knew. He told her all about Frodo and Pippin, and Sam and his Gaffer, and Fredegar and Estella. Eowyn noticed his tone was different as he spoke about Estella.

"So was this young lady your love that you left behind?" she asked innocently.

Merry stared at her in shock. "No! Not at all, it's nothing like that! We're not even exactly friends. She's only my friend's sister and she always used to insist on tagging along. We don't even get along with each other. We've always fought and argued nearly our whole lives."

"Oh," said Eowyn. She was studying his face carefully. "Well I'm sorry to hear that you don't get along. My brother never used to mind when I wanted to join in whatever he did. Of course, he never had many friends so I don't fully know what Estella was going through."

"Please don't sympathize with her," Merry said. "She hates me, and I dislike her just as much. I don't want to talk about her anymore."

"I'm sure you don't, but I think you should. You shouldn't have hatred for each other. You may not get along but try to understand each other better. Don't let those emotions build up. All the emotions I had pent up inside nearly destroyed me. I don't want the same to happen to you."

Merry was silent for a moment, taking in her words. "I know I should try to understand her, but I just get so angry with her sometimes, and I don't even know why. That's the part that bothers me. There's really no reason for me to treat her that way."

"There could be something more to it than you think," Eowyn said quietly, though Merry had no idea what she meant. Eowyn continued speaking. "Well, I don't know the whole story, and I don't want to lecture you, Merry, but when you return to your home I think you should make peace with Estella. Long absences can often make people forgive one another's faults and start afresh. You never know, she could be missing you and might be sorry for all the things she's done and said."

"Perhaps you're right," Merry said slowly.

"If I was her then I would be worried about you, regardless of everything," Eowyn said. "Think about it some more and maybe things will be different when you go back home."

When Merry returned to the Shire, he had completely forgotten what Eowyn had told him. He hadn't followed her advice and never made an attempt to understand Estella. Things had started out badly when he first came in contact with her after the Battle of Bywater. There just wasn't a chance to remember a word that Eowyn had said.

Now that he thought about it, he found that he agreed with everything Eowyn said. She was probably right and he decided that he would try to heed her advice, even if it made Estella angry.

Maybe there was only a huge misunderstanding between them. Maybe he could fix things and make everything all right. He vowed that he would talk to her the very next day.

x-x-x

The next day, Merry rode to the Bolger home and knocked on the door. He knew what he was doing was bold and a little rash, but he didn't care. Mrs. Bolger opened the door in surprise. "Oh. Hello, Mr. Brandybuck! What brings you to our home?"

"May I see Estella please?"

Mrs. Bolger's face looked alarmed for one second but she quickly made her face blank. What Merry wanted with her daughter was none of her business. Just as long as he wasn't courting her. Mrs. Bolger feared that if he ever became involved with a lass, he would lead her all over Middle-earth and perhaps never return.

"Wait just a minute, I'll go and see if she can speak to you." She disappeared for a few minutes and then returned. "I'm terribly sorry. I forgot that Estella isn't here. I believe she is out with her cousin that visited today."

"Oh." He looked disappointed and Mrs. Bolger once again found herself wondering what he wanted to see Estella for. She hoped it wasn't anything important.

"Her cousin mentioned something about going to the market," she said, trying to be helpful. "Perhaps that is where they went."

"All right," said Merry. "Well, thank you anyway. I'll be leaving now." He walked away from the hole and got onto his pony and rode away.

He couldn't believe he was doing it, but he was actually going to the Bridgefields market to see if Estella was there. He decided that he had better get this over with as soon as possible before he lost his nerve.

He rode through the shops and stalls, looking around and attracting a few stares. He supposed he must really look like some warrior from a far-off land while he was in armor and mounted on a pony. He searched around but could see no one who resembled Estella. He turned his pony around and was about to leave when he got sight of two girls leaving a shop. One of them he didn't recognize, but the second one was Estella. He supposed the younger lass was Estella's cousin.

The shop was all the way on the other side of the market but he could still recognize Estella even though she was far away. He got down from his pony, tied it up, and started to walk towards the shop. It was now or never.

"Merry! Is it really you?"

Merry turned around and saw none other than Azalea standing by a stall. She ran over to him. "I'm so glad to see you! Oh my goodness, I never knew I would see you again so soon. This is too good to be true. So what are you doing here in Bridgefields? I thought you lived in Buckland." Her blue eyes were wide and excited and she looked so happy that Merry couldn't just walk away from her.

"I'm, uh, just passing through," Merry said. "I'm just here for no special reason."

"Well this is wonderful," she said. "I hope you don't mind if I join you. I'm just so overjoyed at seeing you and there are so many things I'd love to do and talk about." She slipped her hand into his own before he could stop her. "I still can't believe you're here. I thought about you all last night. Oh, is that a pony?" She ran over to the animal, dragging Merry along with her. "I wonder whose it is. He's beautiful."

"He's mine," Merry said. "I got him in Gondor."

"May I pet him?" Merry nodded his consent and Azalea stroked the pony's head. "I've never heard of Gondor but I bet it's beautiful there. I don't know anything about the lands outside of the Shire. You're so lucky to have seen those places." She stopped petting the pony and gripped Merry's hand tighter. "Well, come on. I don't really know my way around and so maybe we can explore together."

"Well, there was something I needed to take care of, but I suppose it can wait," said Merry. He looked around for Estella and her cousin but caught no sight of them. Hopefully they were still around.

"Wonderful!" said Azalea. Still holding his hand, she walked along past shops and stalls and paused every once in a while to look at something. She chattered on the whole time and Merry only half-listened. He had to admit that Azalea wasn't really that bad of company and there was never a quiet moment with her around, but this really wasn't the right time to be spending time with her.

He looked up at the sky and saw that it was past noon. His parents would be wondering where he was since he hadn't told anyone where he was going. "I think I should be going soon," he said. "I had a nice time, but I need to get home."

"Oh. All right." She obviously didn't want to part with him. "Well, I had a wonderful time with you, Merry. I could spend an entire day like this and not grow tired of you. Thank you so much for spending time with me, you have no idea how much it means to me." She let go of his hand. "Even though we haven't parted yet, I already miss you." And then she completely shocked him and leaned up and kissed him. "Goodbye, Merry. I hope to see you soon." And then she walked away.

Merry stared after her. He hadn't wanted to believe it, but he had to admit that his friends were right. Azalea was obsessed with him. He couldn't believe she would actually be daring enough to kiss him. Little did he know, Estella had been standing with her cousin several feet away and had seen the whole thing.

Merry looked around to see where he had tied up his pony and his eyes fell on Estella and her cousin. So they hadn't left after all. He walked towards them and couldn't help noticing that Estella looked very pretty that afternoon. The sun was shining in her hair and she looked so beautiful that Merry kept his eyes locked on her.

"Estella!" he cried. She met his eyes and the look on her face made him almost want to run off in the opposite direction. What was the matter with her? He hadn't done anything wrong. Yet. "Estella, there's something I would like to say."

"I'm sure there is," she said, a rather hard edge to her tone.

"Now please don't talk to me that way," he said. "You'll just make things worse. I've been thinking this over and I feel that there is something I need to tell you."

"That's all right, I saw it for myself," she replied.

Merry was confused now. What in Middle-earth was she talking about? She couldn't possibly know what it was he had to say. He looked at the lass standing beside Estella. "Can you please make your cousin hear me out?"

"She should not have to listen to you," she said. "I think she already knows. You shouldn't play around with a girl's emotions like that and then snub her right in front of her face."

Merry decided that they both had gone completely and utterly mad. He couldn't make any sense out of anything they were saying.

Estella looked at her cousin in shock. "Amy! How could you say that? You know absolutely nothing about this! I don't feel that way about-" She broke off and looked at the ground.

"All right, I demand an explanation," Merry said. "Explain what you're talking about, because I can't understand any of it. Estella's cousin, you explain first."

"My name is Amethyst Bolger, not 'Estella's cousin'," the lass named Amethyst, or "Amy" said.

"Well, I'm sorry then, Amethyst Bolger. Now please tell me what you're talking about."

"It isn't anything important!" said Estella quickly. She couldn't understand why she was so horribly angry. She shouldn't be upset over something like that. Only somebody who was jealous would feel that way. And she most certainly was not jealous. She couldn't be. Could she?

"It is too important," Amy said to Estella. "Otherwise you wouldn't be so angry. You should see your face, Estella. This has obviously upset you. You saw what he did. He should just make up his mind and settle on one lass instead of playing games with two of them."

Poor Merry was still confused. What Amy had said had started to make a little sense, but surely they couldn't be talking about that, could they? Had they watched? And if so, then why would it upset Estella? If Pippin was there, he would have grinned at Merry and said, "I told you so."

"Can't you two just tell me exactly what you mean instead of dropping hints?" Merry said, getting frustrated.

"No. You don't need to know," said Estella. Her face was bright red and she wouldn't look at him.

"Yes he does!" Amy insisted. "He obviously isn't smart enough to get it! Merry, can't you see that you've broken Estella's heart by kissing that girl? Estella told me about her. It sounds to me as if she completely seduced you. Estella is very upset now!"

Estella wanted to smack her cousin across the face. It was true that she had told her about Azalea. One of the things she hated about Amy was that she always drew her own conclusions to everything. If there weren't enough facts, then she provided facts of her own. It was very irritating.

Merry's previous confusion was nothing compared to the confusion he felt now. Was Estella actually upset over seeing him with Azalea? That couldn't be possible. She didn't feel that way about him.

"Now you've gone and made everything worse, Amy!" Estella yelled. "What gave you that idea anyway?"

"Well only a girl who's in love with him would be acting the way you acted," Amethyst said matter-of-factly. "I know all about that sort of thing."

Estella turned her back on Amy and Merry. Merry walked over to her, gripped her by the shoulder, and turned her around. "Estella, what is the meaning of this? I want the truth. Do you have feelings for me?" For some reason, a part of him wanted her to say yes.

Estella swatted his hand away and glared at him with pure rage in her eyes. Merry flinched at the look on her face. "Don't touch me!" she said icily. "Leave me alone. Go and find Azalea and never speak to me again. I have never had feelings for you and I never will, and that makes you conceited for thinking that I do!" And then she ran off. She became smaller and smaller, so far away that they couldn't see her tears.

"Now look at what you've done," said Amy. She turned around and went after her cousin. Merry got onto his pony and immediately rode home. He had a lot to think about. If his parents thought it was odd that he was shut up in his room the whole day, they never commented on it.

I was getting bored and so I decided to put some other characters in here. So that's how Eowyn entered this chapter.