Disclaimer: I disclaim. I lay no claim for I have no claim. Therefore, I disclaim.

Summary: So what goes on inside the brilliant mind of a certain Lily Evans? She's Head Girl…she's respectable…she's intelligent…she writes an awful lot about a certain dark haired boy….and she's most likely going slightly insane.

A/N: I got my computer back! Finally! And the screen doesn't turn green anymore! Yay!

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update. I didn't have time, and then I was away for the weekend and then school started…But no bother, I'm here now and I'm typing frantically. Thank you for all your fabulous reviews. You're all fantastic. Depending on my energy levels, there may be a few review responses at the bottom.

Oh except for one I'll do right now because it was a question.

Flaring Phoenix: No, the Divination teacher isn't Trelawny. She's just another crazy lady who I never actually gave a name for some reason…

The Diary of Lily Evans Chapter Fourteen

D.A.D.A. – trying to learn

What do you want Chelsea?

I WANT to hex you for stopping there!

Well you didn't actually EXPECT me to give you more details than that, did you?

YES!

Well, sorry, but no can do.

Lily! I'm your best friend! Don't I have special privileges or something?

No.

Lily!

Chelsea!

Lily! You know you WANT to tell me so cut the crap and get on with it!

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah and that's why you're smiling like a lunatic.

Well, maybe I would have told you if you hadn't told James about the grapes.

Oh come on, you enjoyed it. Your diary says so.

I was momentarily incapacitated.

Momentarily?

Fine, I couldn't think straight the entire time.

And?

And it was glorious.

Now dish the dirt my redheaded friend.

Well….you know what happened…we kissed.

Yeah…but what was it like? Did you melt? Did you sizzle? Did you float on air?

All of that and more. It was perfect.

Hm… so James is a good kisser. Definitely a positive attribute.

Look at him. He looks so handsome with his messed up hair…

Have you and James talked about your relationship?

What do you mean?

Well, have you talked about…expectations?

What do you mean by 'expectations'?

Well, to put it bluntly, how far does James expect you to go?

Why? How far do YOU think he expects me to go?

I don't know. That's why I asked.

Well James wouldn't push me to do anything.

Of course not.

He's not like that.

He has a rep though…

CHELSEA! You're supposed to be reassuring me! Not freaking me out!

I don't MEAN to freak you out…it's just boys are different about these things.

But James wouldn't---

I know.

Then why---

I don't know.

But what if he does---

Forget I said anything.

What if you're ri---

I was being stupid. You're right. James would never do that.

Right.

Right.

Super Secret Spy Mission – The Boys Dormitory

I can't believe we're doing this. And excuse me, but 'Super Secret Spy Mission'?

What? I thought it sounded nice.

You're mental.

And proud of it.

What are we looking for again?

Actually, I have no idea.

Oh what a brilliant plan Miss Super Spy.

Well maybe he has a journal or something that would tell us what he expects?

That is the most crackpot idea I've ever heard.

Well you---

What was that noise?

What noise?

THAT ONE!

Oh my gawd.

THE BOYS!

Super Secret Spy Mission – On top of a toilet in the boys dorm bathroom

We're dead. We're so very, very DEAD.

Just breathe. Quietly.

They're going to CATCH US.

Lily, calm down.

And then James is going to break up with me.

Lily, be realistic.

AND IT'S ALL BEACAUSE YOU PUT A STUPID IDEA IN MY HEAD AND THEN CAME UP WITH THIS IDIOTIC PLAN!

LILY! SHUT UP! THE BOYS ARE TALKING!

Documentarium Spell: Recording>

"Was it just me, or did Lily seem fidgety at dinner?" Sirius asked, looking at his friends as he plopped down on his bed.

"Yeah, she seemed nervous," Remus acknowledged.

James sighed, "You don't think she regrets going out with me, does she?"

"I don't know, James," Remus started, "I doubt she would. Unless you did something to make her…nervous."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What Remus is trying to say is that she might be nervous and fidgety if you tried to force her to be your love slave," Sirius explained bluntly. Remus glared.

" 'Love slave' isn't exactly the term I would have used."

"But James wouldn't do that," Peter suddenly piped up, "He cares too much about Lily."

"At least someone has some faith in me," James muttered bitterly.

In the bathroom, standing precariously on top of a toilet in one of stalls, Chelsea elbowed Lily.

"See," she whispered, "This mission is a success! We now know James would never force you to do anything!"

"Which I knew all along! The only reason I doubted him was because you freaked me out!"

Meanwhile, back in the dorm, the boys were still discussing James.

"Well, Peter obviously has a very good point. James would never hurt Lily," Remus commented.

"Yeah, how silly of us to ever think otherwise. He all but kissed the ground she walks on!" Sirius said, cackling delightedly.

"Well I wouldn't go that far," James said indignantly.

"Oh stuff it Prongs, we're right and you know it!" Sirius said, smirking at his friend.

"James, Sirius is right. You're so infatuated with her you'd do anything to make her happy. Even, dare I say it, give up Quidditch," Remus said.

"Guys, you're exaggerating just a little. Besides, Lily likes watching me play Quidditch…" James finished, a slight look of uncertainty on his face. He'd sincerely hoped she did.

"Oh right Jamsies, you say that now that you're dating her. A few weeks ago you were a sad, mopey little wet weed."

"I was not---"

"He's right, James," Remus interjected.

"He must have forgotten everything before the Time of Lily," Sirius mussed.

That's when, due to some laughter from Chelsea, the diary fell with a dreadfully loud 'SPLUNKISH!' into the toilet. The two girls froze I horror.

"What was that?" James asked, standing up from the bed he was sitting on. Sirius stood up as well.

"Wormtail, go check it out," Sirius said, shoving his small, pudgy friend towards the bathroom door.

Peter, quaking, made his way into the bathroom.

Lily and Chelsea stood in shock on the rim of the toilet, watching the waterproof diary bob around in the toilet, still avidly reading the words appearing on the page.

"It's freaky how it does that," Chelsea whispered. Lily slapped and shushed her.

But the damage was done, and Peter, who happened to have very good hearing, scampered over to the stall. He pushed open the door to see Chelsea and Lily standing on the edge of the toilet seat, Lily, reaching down to pull out a diary from the bowel.

Chelsea's eyes widened and she shook her head violently as Peter opened his mouth to call out to his friends.

"Is anything in there, Wormy?" Sirius asked. The other Marauders were crowded around the bathroom door.

"No, nothing…"

Chelsea and Lily breathed a sigh of relief.

Suddenly, a wicked look crossed Peter's face.

"…except for Lily and Chelsea hiding in the toilet."

"Squealer," Chelsea muttered.

"What!" the boys exclaimed, stumbling haphazardly into the bathroom and over to the stall.

"Lily! What are you doing?" James asked, staring at his girlfriend in shock.

"Hi James. Well you see…"

Lily trailed off, not quite sure how to explain herself. She took a deep breath.

"ChelseafreakedmeoutsayingthatyouexpectedthingsfrommeandsowehadtocomefindoutifthatwastrueI'msosorryI'llneverbelieveheragainIshouldhaveknownyou'dneverforcemetodosomethingIwouldn'twanttodo."

"Um, sorry Lily, sweat heart, I didn't quite catch all of that," James said, smirking slightly.

Lily looked like she was about to faint.

"Oh for heaven's sake. I freaked Lily out saying that you might expect things from her that were rather presumptuous so we came here to find evidence that might state otherwise and then when you guys came here we hid in the bathroom," Chelsea explained.

Sirius burst out laughing, "What were you looking for, a diary?"

The girls blushed, embarrassed.

"Lily, why didn't you just talk to me?" James asked, a smile playing on his lips.

"I...I dunno…I just…You're not mad are you?"

"No, of course not. Besides, now you know," he said, smiling. Lily smiled brightly and hugged him.

Remus laughed and left the room, amused by the absurdity of the situation.

Sirius was smiling delightedly.

"So," he said, speaking to Chelsea, "You started this whole entire thing? You caused all this havoc with Lily acting weird and then dragging her up here to snoop and eves drop?"

"Well, yeah, when you put it that way…"

Sirius hugged her.

"I've always loved a girl who causes mischief and mayhem."

Chelsea blushed.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

James chuckled, "Come on love birds, lets go play some exploding snap."

"We're not love birds," Chelsea reprimanded.

A funny look crossed Sirius' face.

"Why not?"

And that was when a bright smile engulfed Chelsea's entire being.

Documentarium Spell: Terminated>

A/N: OK, so I figured that was a good place to end it. I'm not sure how many more chapters there's going to be. There will be…two a tleast. Maybe three? I'm not sure. There might be more…It all depends what ideas pop into my head. This chapter, originally, was different. I changed it though because it works a little bit better. Anyways, please review and forgive me for typos…I tried to catch them but it's late and I'm tired.

PS: I'm sorry I'm not posting any responses this time…I'm literally falling asleep as I type this…But I give you all a nice big cupcake with rainbow sprinkles that will make any wish come true just for being such wonderful reviewers.