Love of War
Chapter Eight: Explanations
"You…used your powers on me? How much?" Syaoran asked, taking a step towards Sakura and grasping her arms in his hands.
"Um…" Sakura said, nervous that the conversation had changed so quickly. "Not much. But still, you're changing the subject. Who's Doremi and what is your connection with him?"
Syaoran glared down at her. "You aren't telling me the truth."
"It's doesn't matter okay?" Sakura growled, pulling her arms from his grasp. "You saved me so naturally I had to pay you back, it doesn't matter how I did it. Now are you going to tell me or not?"
Syaoran sighed, he wasn't going to get much out of her at the moment. "Fine, I'll tell you."
He sat down on the ground, motioning for Sakura to sit beside him.
Sakura rolled her eyes and sat beside him, watching him intently.
His eyes weren't on hers, they were on her clothes.
"What?" Sakura asked.
"You're covered in blood…were you hurt too?"
Sakura shook her head. "No. I wasn't. It's yours. Now, tell me."
Syaoran frowned at the amount of blood that was soaked into Sakura's dress, and the patches that stained her cheeks. She'd have to get new clothes.
"Well?" She said, getting impatient.
Syaoran sighed. "Fine. Doremi and I met just a few years before I met you."
"Where?"
He shot her a look, then continued. "At a training camp…for the younger boys to go and learn to fight, for the war. We met there, and we didn't get along. By the end of the three years of training, we were enemies, and he was bent on destroying my life and my family's life."
Sakura frowned, so Doremi was on her side after all…
"Anyway," Syaoran continued, seeing her frown. "I know what your thinking, you could join him. Actually that wouldn't be all that smart. You see, he wants the Kinomoto power for himself, so once all the Li clan was gone, he'd kill you."
"I wasn't thinking that!" Sakura said, trying to defend herself.
Syaoran smirked at her. "Sure. Anyway, one night, just before Doremi was scheduled to go home, he and some of his friends cornered me at the cliff by the ocean, and they tried to kill me. But, naturally, they couldn't so they tried to throw me off the cliff instead."
Sakura gasped, she couldn't help it. "That's horrible!"
Syaoran nodded, then shrugged. "Yeah, but I didn't hit the water, I managed to grab onto a ledge just before the rocks and the waves, but I was hurt pretty badly. Finally my cousin, Meilin, found me and called for help."
Sakura frowned when she heard Meilin's name. Out of everyone in the world, Meilin was the one she hated most.
Syaoran cupped Sakura's chin in his hand and turned her face towards his. "Don't be angry with Meilin, Sakura. She couldn't help it…she had her orders."
Sakura turned her head away, tears stinging at her eyes. "As did you."
Syaoran frowned and nodded silently. "Yes. I had my orders. But Sakura…I haven't followed them, not at all."
Sakura turned to him, a smile creeping across her lips. "What do you mean?"
"We weren't supposed to keep you alive for this long, or Tomoyo to even survive." Syaoran admitted, feeling his cheeks heat up. He turned away from her. "If my mother found out, she'd be furious."
Sakura sighed. "What started this war anyway?"
Syaoran shrugged. "I'm not…quite sure."
"What's going on in here?" A small voice said suddenly, brining Sakura and Syaoran from their thoughts.
"Kero!" Sakura cried happily, grabbing her guardian, in small form, and hugging him tightly to her. "I'm so glad your all right!"
"S-Sakura!" Kero gasped for air, the girl was holding him so tightly. "Can't…breathe!"
"Oh! Sorry Kero-kun!" Sakura grinned, letting go of the little beast.
"Sakura, I was worried!"
"What's this thing?" Syaoran asked, picking Kero out of the air by his wings. "A talking teddy bear?"
Sakura giggled. "He's not."
"I AM NOT A TEDDY BEAR!" Kero hollered angrily. "I am a guardian beast! You should have some respect you Chinese gaki!"
Syaoran glared at him. "I know what gaki means."
"Good." Kero retorted. "Better yet."
"Why you little-" Syaoran growled.
"Hey!" Sakura laughed, grabbing Kero from Syaoran before Kero could bite him. "Calm down Li, Kero's my guardian."
Syaoran smirked in Kero's direction. "Crappy guardian."
Sakura laughed. "He has his days."
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Kero growled. "You are lucky we even made it out of that fire!"
"You went back in the house?" Sakura gasped, grabbing her little friend. "Did you save anyone?"
Kero shook his head sadly. "No one made it, and if they did, it was the servants, and they disappeared."
Sakura sighed with relief. "I'm glad. What about…father's body?"
Kero shook his head again. "Nothing, we couldn't even find his body."
"Well…are you hurt? Yue? Touya?"
"Who's Yue and Touya?" Syaoran asked.
"Yue is my other guardian." Sakura said with a small smile. "And Touya is my older brother."
"Who wants you dead kid." Kero smirked in Syaoran's direction.
"I am not a kid!" Syaoran growled.
Kero stuck his tongue out at the Li leader.
Sakura smiled, "I'm glad your two are getting along."
Kero rolled his tiny eyes and hugged Sakura's arm softly. "I'm going to go and talk to Touya now, I'd come and see us in a few minuets if I were you."
Sakura nodded, and as the tine guardian beast flew away, she got to her feet.
"Wait." Syaoran said suddenly, grabbing her arm and pulling her back down to the floor. "You cant go yet."
"What? Why not?" Sakura asked.
Syaoran reached a little ways away for the small bowl of water Tomoyo had brought in before Sakura put the barrier up for Syaoran's wounds. It was clean and unused, a small rang floated in it.
"Here." He said, ringing out the rang and holding it up. "Let me clean off your face."
"There's something on my face?" Sakura gasped, bringing her fingers to her skin. It felt dry.
"Yeah," Syaoran said, taking her chin in his hand and rubbing the wet cloth against her cheek. "That would be my fault, it's blood."
Sakura shivered. "I hate blood."
Syaoran smirked. "So…Sakura. What did you do, in that forest, to make Doremi so angry?"
Sakura's face fell and her eyes closed, holding back tears.
Syaoran frowned, so it had been her. He'd seen the body of the other Chinese man, soaked in blood, not too far from the girl, and the patch of black on the ground, as if it had been scorched. "So it was you."
Sakura's eyes shot open, glassy with her tears. "I didn't mean to! I mean…I did, but it was for my own safety. I-I couldn't just s-stand there and let them kill me!"
She broke down into tears and covered her face with her hands, turning away from Syaoran. She'd done a terrible thing, killing those men. She'd never forgive herself.
"Shh Sakura." Syaoran said gently, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her against his chest. "It's okay, it was in self defense, no one could ask more of you."
"But I still killed someone." Sakura whispered through her tears, her body beginning to shake with her sobs. "I still did it."
Syaoran dropped the cloth he had been holding and wrapped both his arms around her tightly, trying to stop her body from shaking. "Sakura it's okay."
"How can it be okay?" Sakura whimpered. "I did something horrible!"
Syaoran couldn't say anything to that. He'd killed many people in his day, too many, it haunted him. It hurt him to see Sakura so upset, crying over a bit of spilt blood. He knew she felt horrible, he felt horrible for every person he killed, he would always feel that way.
But there was nothing that could be done, the deed was done and time can't be turned back.
So they just sat there, Syaoran holding Sakura and Sakura just sitting in his arms, comfortable with his embrace.
She knew that if Touya or anyone saw her, she'd be disgraced for allowing her enemy to hold her like he was. But she needed to be held, to have someone just let her cry.
Sakura felt safe with Syaoran, though she did not wish to show it. She had to be strong and independent in order to survive and make it out of the war alive with her brother, best friend and her guardians.
But…what about after the war? Where would she go? Who would she stay with? Her home was gone, the only real family she had left was Touya, and only three of her friends had survived.
There was no place for her now.
And yet, she couldn't bring herself to hate Syaoran. As much as she wanted to, as much as she needed to, she couldn't. Sakura couldn't hate Syaoran Li.
XxXxX
"There you are!" Tomoyo smiled, rushing up to her friend and flinging her arms around her. "I was beginning to worry!"
Sakura smiled, her cheeks were still stained from her tears, but the blood on her skin was gone, though her clothes were still soaked. "I'm fine, no need to worry. Um, where is Touya?"
"He's over talking to Yue." Tomoyo smiled. "Well…Yukito, that is."
Sakura grinned, she'd almost forgotten that Yue was also Yukito. "Thanks."
Syaoran walked out of his tent just in time to see Sakura rush away from her friend and head towards the forest.
"Hey!" He said, striding up to Tomoyo. "Where's Sakura going? It's not safe to be out there alone."
"Relax Syaoran." Tomoyo smiled, her eyes dancing with happiness. "She's going to talk to her brother and Yukito."
"Who's Yukito? Don't you mean, what's the name…Yue?"
Tomoyo shrugged. "Yue, Yukito, they're both the same person."
Syaoran stared blankly at the raven-haired girl in front of him. "Huh? What do you mean?"
Tomoyo giggled. "Yukito is Yue's human form, just like Kero's teddy bear form is his small form. It's like a disguise, so the enemy wont be able to tell when a guardian is sneaking up on them."
Enemy? Wasn't he the enemy?
Tomoyo grinned, she knew what Syaoran was thinking. "Not anymore Syaoran, I don't consider you an enemy anymore."
"W-What? Why not?" He asked.
The girl shrugged, "After what you did for Sakura, saving her and all, I don't think you are. Neither is Eriol. You both have good hearts, you really do. You just…haven't seen the light yet."
With that said, Tomoyo walked away towards the camp fire, where Eriol was sitting with a couple other Li's, leaving a very confused Syaoran behind.
He shook his head, trying to get what Tomoyo had just said out, and head off in the direction Sakura had gone.
Why had she saved him anyway? Syaoran was almost sure that Sakura thought of him as the enemy and not and ally. But…she'd let him hold her, for the longest time she let him. She never pulled away or stiffened, not once. She was relaxed, not worried as to who it was that was holding her so tightly.
He shook his head again, "Stop it Syaoran, she's the enemy…she had to get to the coast, and then to China. Once we're in China I'll never have to see her or worry about her again."
But the coast and China was so far away, and what would happen to the Card Mistress once he left her? Most families in China were on the Li side of the war, so a Kinomoto wouldn't be treated kindly. She'd get half haggard jobs, or even be forced to work as a slave.
Or, if worse came to worse, as soon as she stepped foot onto Chinese soil, she'd be killed.
Syaoran brushed the thoughts away as much as he could, but they kept coming back.
What would happen to Sakura? Where would she go? Who would she stay with? Would she even survive?
Did he even…want to let her go?
Okay! I hope you liked it Review!