"At the crack of dawn, Wuya floated into Jack Spicer's room and woke him up by floating directly into his head. "Ah! I told you not to do that! It's an invasion of my privacy!" Jack snapped at her.
"Silence and come downstairs! I need your hands!" Wuya said. Jack yawned and stumbled downstairs. He muttered something about evil geniuses needing their sleep but he didn't make any loud objections.
Wuya had the book about Heylin Dragons on the table in front of her. "Jack, I want to create a Heylin Dragon," Wuya explained.
"Why? It's not like I'm not a good villain," Jack Spicer replied.
"Do you even remember what happens everyday? All those showdowns, all those Shen Gong Wu lost to the monks…" Wuya said. "You said yourself, we needed Heylin Dragons,"
"I said SHOWDOWN, Wuya. I can remember my own words, just not when I want to," Jack said.
Wuya just ignored that. "Well, just read it to me, twit,"
Jack Spicer sighed loudly and reached for the book. "Chapter One: Preparing your Heylin Dragon," He read in a tiny inaudible voice.
"Step one…find a stupid human, preferably one with pale skin and a psuedo-gothic outfit,"
Wuya floated right next to Jack and started reading over his shoulder. "If you wanted to read it yourself, why make me read it?" Jack Spicer demanded. Wuya ignored him again.
"Strap the human to a chair, making sure that his or her chains are strong enough to prevent him/her from escaping or killing themselves, which they will most certainly try to do during this process,"
Wuya rubbed her ghostly hands together and cast shifty glances towards Jack Spicer, who was still reading.
"After that, gather five Shen Gong Wu. It doesn't matter which, but the most powerful Heylin Dragons are made from the Eye of Dashi, the Fist of Tebigong, the Third Arm Sash, the Orb of Tornami, and the Cloak of Oogata,"
"We don't have any of those Wu!" Jack Spicer pointed out.
"Shut up," Wuya replied.
"Okay, okay, jeez," Jack muttered.
"Perform the Seven Heylin Rituals shown on the following pages, and allow the human to sleep for five days. At the end of these five days, the human will have become a Heylin Dragon, with the power of the Shen Gong Wu and the magic of a true minion of darkness. However, this spell will only last while the Heylin Star---,"
"Whoa…that is deep," Jack said, dropping the book for no reason. "Who's going to be the lucky guy who gets this Heylin Dragon thing?
Wuya didn't see fit to tell Jack anything right now. "It doesn't matter. The only thing I want you to do is challenge the Xiaolin monks to Shen Yi Bu Dare in the next showdowns,"
"How am I going to do that with only one Shen Gong Wu?" Jack Spicer asked.
"Relax, Jack Spicer, I have it covered," Wuya said. She glared at a Jack-Bot in the corner and it came up to them. It had the Eagle Scope, Chase Young's Wu around its neck.
"That's it? The Eagle Scope? That's the weakest Shen Gong Wu around! I'll lose my evil rep if I get caught using that thing in a Showdown!" Jack Spicer complained. Wuya glared at him.
"You never had an evil rep. You are a joke, a buffoon, a laughingstock, ad nauseaum. I thought we'd gone over this last night," Wuya replied.
"But…" Jack began, but Wuya's eyes had already started glowing.
"A new Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself!" Wuya announced.
"Really? Ya think?" Jack muttered, but Wuya ignored him.
"It is called the Discus of Dashi," Wuya said. "And it's in the Lost City of Xanadu!"
"Yes! Now I have a chance to test out my Evil Lost City Raiding Music!" Jack Spicer shouted gleefully. He summoned twenty Jack-bots, thirty Spider-bots (which were just eight-legged Jack-bots), and the recently rebuilt Dude-bot, minus the Heart of Jong. The Dude-bot was also carrying a surround-sound stereo system built into it. "Check it; Jack Spicer's Evil Army of Darkness,"
Of course, by the time Jack Spicer, Wuya, and his army of robots arrived, Dojo the dragon and the Xiaolin monks were already there. Jack would have been able to sneak in and find the Wu undetected, but the Dude-bot's evil music gave his position away. "Jack Spicer! Prepare for a most humiliating defeat!" Omi shouted.
"Jwack Spwicer! Pwepare for a most humiwiating defeat!" Jack retorted in a mocking voice. "Aw, give it a rest, will ya?"
"No, I will not rest until I defeat you!" Omi retorted. He whipped out the Orb of Tornami and held it ready.
"Hey, we found the Wu!" Clay called from inside a straw hut. Jack Spicer zoomed into the hut, determined to reach the Wu before they did.
Omi rushed in, pushed past Clay, and searched the hut frantically for the Wu. "Uh…l'il partner? It's right here," Clay said, pointing at the glowing metal discus lying on top of a straw mat.
"I am most grateful to you, Clay. Thank you," Omi said, bowing. He turned around and reached for the Discus of Dashi. Jack managed to lay hands on it first.
"Omi, I challenge you to a Hey—Xiaolin Showdown, Shen Yi Bu Dare!" Jack Spicer said.
"Accepted. I shall wager the Eye of Dashi and the Orb of Tornami!" Omi replied.
"Okay, then I'll wager the Monkey Staff and the Eagle Scope," Jack said. "The game…is an assault course! First person to complete it gets the Wu!"
"Xiaolin Showdown!" They both shouted. A mystical cloud started to overtake the tiny Lost City, creating another illusion of complete darkness in the sky. The straw huts and old, lazy hills rolled aside to reveal trampolines, monkey bars, pipes, and a swarm of sinister obstacles. The Shen Gong Wu itself flew to the top of a straw hut at the very end of the assault course. "Gong Yi Tampai!"
Jack's flew up and used the Eagle Scope to spot Omi struggling to crawl through a pipeline. "Jack! Get down there, you stupid boy!" Wuya hissed from behind the Dude-bot's head. Jack nodded and went zipping through the pipe after Omi. The dragon of the Water was already out of the pipe and was leaping across several kiddy pools filled with piranhas.
"Gah! Jack-bots!" Jack Spicer shouted, pointing at Omi. Three robots nodded obligingly and raced to intercept the monk. Jack activated the Monkey Staff and started to swing out after Omi, passing the monk who was preoccupied with the Jack-bots. He had reprogrammed them to merely dance around, keeping out of the way of Omi's attacks to prolong the fight.
"Omi! Use the Eye of Dashi!" Raimundo suggested.
"Quiet! No steering from the seat in the back!" Omi said quickly, kicking out at a Jack-bot.
"That's backseat driving, Omi," Raimundo replied exasperatedly.
"Eye of Dashi!" Omi fired several jagged bolts of lightning that blew the robots apart. Jack Spicer was already past the trampoline obstacle, the gigantic pendulum obstacle, and was crawling through yet another pipeline.
Omi sped up, using the first trampoline to gain a jumpstart over the rest of them. He swung past the swinging pendulum and landed at the far end of the pipe. Thinking quickly, he placed the Orb of Tornami into the pipe. "Orb of Tornami, Ice!"
Just as Omi planned, Jack came shooting out the other end, partially encased into a cylindrical block of ice. He wore an expression of complete shock and embarrassment as he landed with a crash beside the next obstacle. "Ha," Omi laughed, jumping past him.
Jack waved his free arm about wildly, signaling for the Dude-bot to come and free him. "Dude, that was lame," The Dude said, pummeling the ice with its fists. As soon as the redheaded boy genius was free, he reactivated the Monkey staff and went tearing after Omi.
"Dude-bot, stun him!" Jack Spicer commanded. The Dude-bot activated its rocket boots and flew after Omi, firing red beams at the monk from its wrists.
"You have no chance to survive! Take your time!" Jack cackled as he zoomed past Omi. The Dude-bot was relentless in its blasting, giving the dragon of the Water no chance to use his Shen Gong Wu.
"Brilliant Jack! You're almost there!" Wuya called. Jack craned his neck around as he flew, sticking his tongue at Omi.
"Jack Spicer, watch out!" Omi shouted.
"Ha, that won't work on me, for I am Jack Spicer, evil boy gen—OWWWW!" Jack Spicer slammed into the side of a hut. His helicopter backpack went flying and the Monkey Staff fell from his outstretched hand. "Ohhh…" He moaned as he slumped on the ground, momentarily stunned.
The heli-pack went flying out of control, its propellers still running. It rocketed around the hut for a while until one of the propellers severed itself from the rest and went shooting away. The chunk of propeller collided with the Discus of Dashi, sending the Shen Gong Wu flying right into Jack Spicer's hands.
Jack found himself holding the Eye of Dashi, the Orb of Tornami, the Monkey Staff, the Eagle Scope, and the Discus of Dashi. He stared at his new Wu, blinking in surprise. This was the first showdown he'd won in years. "Time to gloat," He whispered with a smirk.
"Yes! I did it! Go Jack! It's your birthday! Go Jack, go Jack, go Jack, it's your birthday…" Jack roared with laughter as he performed his evil victory moonwalk all around the lost city.
"Enough of this! Let's go!" Wuya snapped.