Wuya marveled at the way the creature ambled aimlessly after her. It didn't seem to be too hurried or worried about where it was going and when it got there. Of course, it kept muttering something about "me smash" or "ME REALLY SMASH YOU GOOD" but that could be attributed to the softness of its brain.
She had found that her creatures took a little while for their brains to develop the "Reality Lobe", the section of the brain that shouted "OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" whenever you did something more dangerous than munching on a banana. It was like a perpetual nanny service. Mala-Mala Jong had only just gained the Reality Lobe when the Xiaolin monks defeated him a while ago. Wuya hoped that the creature would get it more quickly. It could be the only thing that would allow her to win after this.
"GIVE RAKSHA SHEN GONG VOO!" The creature babbled, kicking a pebble down a long narrow abandoned road that led to Chase Young's forest.
"Watch it!" Wuya hissed. "He may have guards about!" She glanced around suspiciously. She hoped that one of Chase's big cats wouldn't pop out and eliminate her little Heylin dragon before she got her ghostly hands on the Shen Gong Wu. She only really needed it to fetch the Serpent's Tail and the Reversing Mirror. All of the others could go to blazes if she had those two objects.
Wuya paused, realizing that the creature was no longer following her. She turned around slowly, scanning the darkened road for any signs of an enemy around. The only thing she could see was a crushed soda can, a plastic fork, and a small, unbroken egg.
"Oh, brother," She moaned.
((Scene Change))
"Eye of DASHI!" Omi leapt forward into the air, firing bolts from the mystic pendant. They hit the floor with a soft crackle and a cloud of smoke.
Katnappé dodged the first blast with a pirouette and used Chase's throne chair as shelter from the rest. "Hey, watch it!" She shouted. "I'm hurt!" She grabbed her shin and crumpled to the floor, groaning.
"Oh, I am so sorry!" said Omi, dropping to the ground and hurrying over to apologize.
"Don't listen to her! It's a trick!" Kimiko yelled, wishing she could break into the Showdown and help Omi out.
"Please forgive--," Omi said. He paused as he realized that the Woozy Shooter was pointed directly at his face. "…Me," He squeaked, just before the attack.
Clay was exchanging blows with four Jack Spicer duplicates when he saw the thick haze of purple smoke rising in a small pillar about twenty feet away. He could see Katnappé leaping away from it in graceful bounds and leaps. Omi must be within.
His suspicions were confirmed when Omi staggered backwards, completely disoriented. "Hi, Mud!" shouted Omi, waving wildly at him.
"Clay," said Clay helpfully, knocking down a bigheaded Jack duplicate with a gentle flick.
"Sandy muddy sandy clay! Kaolin Xiaolin! Mud boy!" Omi said with a giggle. He flashed Clay another goofy smile and fell over, clearly unconscious.
"I guess it's all up to me now," said Clay, tossing a muscular Jack duplicate over his shoulder with ease.
He cracked his knuckles absently, wondering how he could win this fight. While he could easily defeat Jack, and would have minimal problems with Katnappé, he still had ethical issues to deal with. Was it okay to fight a girl? Even if she was infused the power of an evil star? Even if not fighting her would result in myriad unspeakable tortures for the next 1,000 years? And the most important question: why was he asking himself all of these things? If he knew, he wouldn't be even thinking about this right now. Clay decided to turn to the master of moral and philosophical debates.
Reaching into the side pockets of his robes, the Dragon of the Earth produced a Magic 8 Ball. "O Mighty Mysticalous Magicalical 8 Ball…" drawled Clay, raising the small black sphere over his head. "Please reveal onto your loyal cowpoke the answer to this here conundrum,"
He shook the ball and gently tossed it onto the ground. It rolled along the floor for a bit. The Jacks and Katnappé watched it apprehensively. It could be a new Shen Gong Wu that could blow up the universe, or some strange evil-destroying monk weapon. Or perhaps it was an ordinary Tyco toy. None of them wanted to risk learning the truth when there were so many morbid options out there.
Clay waited till it slowed to a crawl, and started moving when the ball stopped rolling. He picked it up gently and turned it around so as to view the answer.
My Sources Say: Yes"Why is he smiling?" asked Katnappé suspiciously.
"I dunno, but I suspect that my insurance premiums are about to go up," One of the Jacks moaned.
He was right. The last thing he saw before blissful unconsciousness claimed him was a giant fist shooting across the room towards him.
Clay placed Jack Spicer against the wall and turned towards Katnappé. He felt that his initial "bear-hug" strategy would be all right to use more than once. It wasn't technically fighting, but it would help save the world. Which, incidentally, would be a good thing.
The only problem was that Katnappé wasn't there anymore.
"Wha?" murmured Clay, scratching his hair.
"SURPRISE!" shouted Katnappé. Clay felt a sharp pain in his side and realized that Katnappé had just kicked him in the ribs. "Shard of Lightning!" She vanished for a split second, and then reappeared. Simultaneously, several body blows struck him. Before Clay could react, Katnappé hit him with a spray from the Woozy Shooter.
Colors started to smear before his eyes, making everything blurry and out of focus. Everything in the room seemed to be slanted in a direction just outside of Clay's field of vision. Clay wasn't sure what was up, what was down, or even whether or not there were such things anymore. He was immobilized.
Katnappé, however, was not. She had retrieved Clay's new carving knife and was about to break one of the major rules of a Xiaolin Showdown by carving Clay a new bodily orifice.
"I reckon it's finally time to buy the farm," Clay said. He found it odd. After all of the times they had just barely averted global disaster from villains such as ravenous spiders, Chase Young, and Wuya, they had finally lost to Katnappé, a sneak thief.
"Not going so fast, Clay!" a familiar voice shouted. Clay's head perked up to see greenish blur shooting halfway across the room towards Katnappé. "It is not yet the time to be selling the ranch!"
"Farm," Clay corrected, but Omi wasn't listening. He had collided headfirst with Katnappé, knocking her out instantly. A sickening crunch reached Clay's ears and he saw Katnappé collapse, her Shen Gong Wu and the carving knife falling from her hands.
As the Showdown effects winded down, Dojo scampered across the playing field, collecting all of the Shen Gong Wu wagered. With the matches over, Jack, Katnappé, Tubbimura, Vlad, Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay all returned to more or less normal.
"I was robbed!" Jack Spicer whined as his Ring of the 9 Dragons and Star Hanabi all vanished into the victors' winning pool.
((Scene Change))
One of Chase's cats (in human form) was still lingering around the fortress, transmitting information about the battle via video relay.
"So," said Chase from his position along the rooftops of the city's various skyscrapers. "The Xiaolin dragons have triumphed over the Heylin dragons, thus vanquishing the dark powers of the Heylin star forever, hmm?"
"Yes sir," The henchman said huskily, worried that Chase might get the idea to turn him back into a cat again if he spoke with his normal high feline voice.
"That's what they think!" said Chase mockingly.
"No, they really did win. I saw the green one knock that girl in leather out with a head-butt! I'm not joking!" The henchman said loudly.
"Do you want to go through the same fate as Jeremiah the Bloodstained White?" Chase Young asked sweetly, referring to the cat he had vanished earlier.
"N-no! I apologize," stammered the henchman, almost dropping the video relay device.
"Good," Chase whispered.
"Yes SIR!" the henchman shouted in the audio receiver. Chase winced but remained silent. Each one of his minions has three chances. This henchman had already used up two in just a single three-minute conversation. If he used them all up, well…let's just say his severance packages will be to die for.
"I want you to hold your position. I will be sending three cats to assist you in your next task," Chase Young said calmly.
The man on the other end of the line shuddered. He hoped it wasn't a combat mission. All this time in cat form had made his human muscles feel ungainly and weak. He thought back wistfully to the time before he had foolishly challenged the pale, scrawny man who spoke to tigers some two hundred years ago. But it couldn't be helped. He was now an immortal servant, trapped by the whims of his even more immortal master. It's just the way the cookie crumbles. Or cracker, if you prefer.
"Relax," said Chase, as if reading his mind. "It is a simple stalking mission. I will restore you to catlike shape for this one, but don't get too used to it. You will return human shortly after the mission is over,"
The henchman nodded. Chase Young explained to him that he was now tasked with stalking the Xiaolin Dragons. "I'll try my best, sir," said the henchman, but Chase Young was no longer listening.
Chase turned away from his end of the video screen to talk to his cats. He had picked out two perfect for this mission. One of them, who in his human life had been famous thief, was to
lead the mission alongside the human henchman. The other one was a fearsome warlord in its human life and was just going along as extra muscle. After sending them off, he addressed his regular cats.
"Phase two of my plan is now complete!"
THE AUTHORS NOTES
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The magic eight ball's response is paraphrased from a real response given from the original Tyco toy. It's paraphrased because I honestly can't remember what it said since mine has been missing for quite a while now. It's probably in the attic but if I left to go look I'd get lost up there among the memorabilia for the rest of my life. I think that would be a sort of bad thing to happen to this fic.