After leaving Yackle and striding straight through the room full of people in the shelter, she found herself in the cold, bitter autumn weather outside. Once she'd rounded the corner to the alleyway they used to use as an entrance, she leaned against the wall of the building and sank to the ground. She hid her face in her hands as she battled tears and took a deep breath.
"Elphaba!" Madikien ran after her and bent to the ground, trying to tear her hands away from her face so he could look at her. "Elle, baby, what's wrong?"
She couldn't look at him, not after what she'd done. Less than twenty-four hours…
"Elphaba, look at me."
"No." Her throat burned and her eyes stung. Had she had more time to gather her self-control, she might've been able to keep calm. But the sound of his voice was piercing in her ears.
"What is it?"
Still not looking up, she said, "I'm so sorry."
"Elphaba, relax. Tell me what's going on, please."
After a little strained breathing, she allowed herself a glance at him. She didn't want to tell him. It would hurt him so much. In the last few hours, she'd tell him. That was only fair. Looking at him, looking at his body, she ached and yearned, already missing what was still there. "Can we go inside?"
"Anything you want. Do you need help getting up, love?"
"I'm all right." She got up and followed him. Inside, she threw off her cloak and sat on the bed.
With concern in his eyes, he sat down next to her, rubbing her back gently with one hand. "What happened?"
He had less than twenty-four hours left. And it was her fault. She decided then that these last few hours with him would be focused on what he wanted, what he liked, what he felt. This was no time to be selfish and angry that she couldn't be with him longer; he was dying. "Yackle just… said something that got to me, that's all."
"What did she say?"
"It's not important right now." She tackled him on the bed and kissed him with more passion than she ever had.
"That's an… interesting mood swing."
"I just needed a moment, that was all. Can we forget about that?"
"If it was really nothing."
"It was." She smiled at him, reminding herself that she had to keep herself under control for his sake.
"Where were we, then?" He carefully rolled over, adjusting so that she was just beneath him.
"I don't know. We were in any sort of position you wanted to be in."
"That works. We're already there." Sliding her dress off of her and quickly removing the rest of her clothing, he ran his hands along her body, stopping at her waist, itching to continue.
"Do me a favor."
"Of course."
"For the next twenty-four hours, forget the rules. Do what you want; don't even think about my comfort. You're always so focused on pleasing me, it's your turn to have all the fun." Bravely, she guided his hand where she knew it longed to go.
"What is this all about?" He was being overly cautious, well aware that normally this would make her uncomfortable.
"Nothing. I'm all yours. This body is your property for the time being." She pressed herself against his hand, ignoring the images that floated through her mind.
"Okay…" Gazing at her, he watched her eyes for any sign of discomfort. "Tell me if I do anything wrong."
"No. I am yours. Understand me? You do what you want with me. Whatever you please. If I feel like you're holding back for my sake, that'll hurt me more." She knew he'd do as he was told.
He loved having her undressed long before he himself was. It gave him time to play with her body, find ways to make her weak in the knees. His fingers grazed her weakness and she moaned with a deeper, stronger longing, all too conscious of the fact that their time was so limited.
"Whatever you want." She whispered.
He looked at her, her body completely exposed, no blanket or anything at all. He undressed himself and eased inside of her, his movements a little rougher than usual. She didn't want to let him sleep that night; she tried to keep him awake. But in the morning, he slept, worn out and tired. She let him sleep for an hour, but only an hour.
As he was sleeping and she was next to him, she looked at him sadly. Tears threatened and she murmured softly, "Please don't leave me."
"Did you say something, baby?" He was awake again.
"No. I must've been talking in my sleep." Six hours…"Madikien…"
"Yes, my love?"
"I don't know how to tell you this…"
"Just say it straight out."
"That's not the best idea." She sighed, knowing that she had only six hours left with those arms holding her so close. "Yesterday, Yackle had me slip a potion into someone's drink."
"Okay…"
"It was the sixth drink she set out. I wasn't allowed to know who was getting it until after she'd served all of the drinks. I wasn't even allowed to know what the potion was until after that, too."
"Whose drink did you slip it into?"
"My dear, I…" The words were caught behind her lips.
"You can tell me."
"It was your drink."
"But I feel fine."
"You won't in six hours. Oh, Oz, I'm sorry. If I had known, I never would've done that."
"In six hours? What? Elle, what was that potion?"
"This is where it gets bad…"
He could feel her tears near his shoulder. "Elphaba, keep going."
"What would you do if you only had six hours left to live?"
"What?"
"I didn't know. I'm so foolish. I never even considered that it'd be you… or that it would kill anyone… She… I was set up in this awful ruse. Oh, hate me… you have a right to."
He was silent for twenty minutes, still holding her. "You really didn't know?"
"I wish I had. I would've stopped it. Now…"
"Why'd she do this?"
"Madikien, she knew. She knew all along. Even in the beginning, she knew. This was all some cruel joke. I'm sorry. I know it's not enough – nothing is, now – but I'm sorry."
"I'm not angry with you. You didn't know."
"But I didn't even worry about you."
"You weren't thinking, that's all right."
"How can you be so calm right now?"
"I don't know. But I don't want to waste time yelling, screaming and crying when there isn't much time left. You let me do whatever I wanted all last night because you knew, right?"
She nodded.
"That makes a little more sense now. Are you sure there's nothing that'll stop this?"
"Yackle doesn't have a remedy for it. And that damned woman even had a cure for what she gave me…"
"What?"
"At this point, it doesn't matter."
"So, what do we do now?"
"Hold each other?"
"Yes. That sounds like a good idea to me."
"You can't even know how sorry I am…"
"Shhh, baby. Don't talk for a while."
On that battered, wooden bed, beneath the blankets made of wool and cotton, they lay quietly, arms around one another. They made love twice more on those sheets, taking their time and savoring the warmth of each other's body – warmth they both knew they wouldn't have for very much longer. Five and a half hours passed, and Elphaba couldn't let go of him, for he might fall away when she wasn't aware.
"I don't have much longer, do I?"
Fighting tears, she looked at him sorrowfully and shook her head. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't be. This would've happened with or without your help." He was beginning to feel weaker.
She could feel his arms loosening from around her. Lovingly, she kissed him and held him, knowing he'd be gone any moment. Taking his hand one last time, she criss-crossed their fingers. And then she turned away for a moment, grabbing the blanket with one hand to stop the tears from nipping at her cheeks.
He was slipping away and he could feel it just as well as she could. Knowing that these last words needed to be said, he reached and wiped a tear from her cheek, "I love you, Elle." Those weren't the last words he heard, though.
The last words he heard before everything faded away were Elphaba's:
"I love you, too."
He squeezed her hand, wanting her to know that he'd heard… and then he was gone.