Author's Note: This one had been lying around in my head for about six months. I just love the idea about the Armada Decepticons going and singing Deep Purple's (See? A matching band name, too!) 'Smoke On The Water'.

Smoke On The Water

"...YAWN!" Starscream was just about to go to recharge again when something made him see stars. "OW!"

"Rise and shine, ol' shiney!" a cheerful voice greeted him with a well-known cackle.

"...Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" Starscream asked as peevishly as he could, trying to scare the annoying copter-bot away from him.

"Didnja remember that we're having that 'special mission' today?" another voice asked, stressing the words 'special' and 'mission'. Starscream frowned.

"Nah... what are you talking about?" he asked, forgetting to sound peevish.

"Have you already forgotten? This soon? Listen... you remember that time when Megatron canceled our singing when Demolisher tripped over the control table and everything around the base went haywire? We're having that special mission." Cyclonus whispered. Starscream's optics widened and soon after a grin appeared on his face.

"Lets do this."

The three Decepticons (Starscream, Cyclonus and Wheeljack) were casually walking down the corridor which led towards Demolisher's quarters, and were about to wake him up, too, when...

"Why are you all here?" a little voice asked. Cyclonus almost jumped out of his armor. They turned to look at their respective Minicons. The speaker was Blackout.

"Um... and could we join you?" Swindle, always ready for a thrill, asked. The four Decepticons looked at each other and grinned.

"Sure, why not? Wind Sheer, c'mon." Wheeljack said and led them around the base. They had chosen a place quite far from Megatron and the electrical equipment. They made sure that there weren't any surveillance cameras around either.

"Wait... what about Thrust? He could be around here somewhere, being the sneaky bastard he is." Cyclonus asked quietly.

"He's not here. I heard that Megatron send him to Earth for some spying mission. And Tidal Wave's gone with him." Demolisher replied after he had positioned a heavy amplifier.

"Everything's ready now. Is everything OK in there?" Wheeljack hollered. Wind Sheer showed him the A-Okay -sign. The Cons and the Minis disappeared behind the curtains.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Suddenly music starts spewing from somewhere. Swindle and Crumplezone walk on stage with Transformer-sized microphones. Suddenly a spotlight comes on and reveals Starscream and Cyclonus standing by their side.)

Swindle: We all came out to Montreux
On the lake Geneva shoreline

(From offstage a voice asks, "What's he talking about? We've never been there". Another answers, "That's a part of the lyrics, you dolt!". The first replies, "...Oh".)

Crumplezone: To make records with a mobile
We didn't have much time

(A quiet snicker is heard just as the spotlight is aimed straight at Crumplezone's face. The Minicon yells, "YAARGHHH!", accompanied by a burst of low-voiced laughter.)

Starscream (gives Crumplezone an odd look): Frank zappa and the mothers
Were at the best place around

(Four guffawing voices sound forth from offstage. Starscream gives a glare behind him.)

Cyclonus: But some stupid with a flare gun
Burned the place to the ground

(A voice from offstage, "Yeah, probably you". Cyclonus throws his hands up in the air in the 'Oh Primus, why me?' -pose.)

Starscream and Swindle: Smoke on the water, fire in the sky

Cyclonus and Crumplezone: Smoke on the water

(The spotlight moves a bit to the left and reveals Blackout and Wind Sheer standing next to Demolisher. Wheeljack is nowhere in sight.)

Blackout: They burned down the gambling house
It died with an awful sound

(A cackle from Cyclonus and then, "How can a building die? These humans sure have the strangest vocabulary". Demolisher glares at the copter-bot and says, "How would you know? You got an F from the Nebulan language".)

Wind Sheer: Funky claude was running in and out
Pulling kids out the ground

(Wind Sheer frowns and asks, "What the hell did that mean?".)

Demolisher (with a really gruff voice): When it all was over
We had to find another place

(A silence... and then, "Wow. Never knew Demolisher could sing so well".)

Wheeljack (from the shadows): But swiss time was running out
It seemed that we would lose the race

Demolisher and Blackout: Smoke on the water, fire in the sky

Wheeljack and Wind Sheer: Smoke on the water

Starscream, Cyclonus, and Minis: We ended up at the grand hotel
It was empty cold and bare

(Swindle says suddenly, "Oh, that reminds me of that movie 'The Day After Tomorrow'. Ya know, the one where a whole city froze up?". Starscream slaps his forehead and mutters, "Why did I end up with a dolt like you?".)

Demolisher, Wheeljack, and Minis: But with the rolling truck stones thing just outside
Making our music there

(A guffaw was heard from offstage, a form thinking to himself, "Those lyrics just don't make sense...".)

The four Decepticons: With a few red lights and a few old beds
We make a place to sweat

(The Minicons burst into laughter and Crumplezone decides to get his revenge. He aims his gun over Wheeljack and shoots. The ceiling starts to crumble. Wheeljack looks above him and mutters, "Uh-oh..." and then a crash is heard. A yell from Wheeljack and a rattling noise tell them that Wheeljack's just getting his aft burned.)

The four Minicons: No matter what we get out of this
I know we'll never forget

(Crumplezone says, "Yeah, surely we won't forget". Wheeljack runs past them and jumps, lands on his aft and skids to a halt... if you've seen Transformers Victory 16 'Rescue Gaihawk', then you must know the scene with Hellbat and his aft-skid...)

All eight of them: Smoke on the water, fire in the sky

A quiet voice from offstage: Smoke on the water

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What the... who was that?" Wheeljack asked from his spot on the floor. He gazed up and into the black space behind the curtains. They all inspected the place, but found nothing.

"Ah, I guess we're just hearing things. Or maybe it was just Sideways' ghost or something." Cyclonus cackled loudly. Starscream shook his head.

"Yeah, right. A ghost..." he shook his head again and walked out of the room.

Many meters away from the place, in a small room, a quiet figure is sitting on a recharge berth, laughing his head off.

"Well, that was a good performance from those guys. Heh... the lyrics just don't make sense, but it was funny."

The well-known figure chuckled quietly and started thinking about his next battle tactic.