Past tense:(2/3)

He had never really noticed her before. Naturally that in four years he'd glimpsed her many times, especially at the library, always surrounded by her Ravenclaw friends, but he'd never spared her a second thought. He didn't know which her name was and he didn't care either. She was just another familiar face in Hogwarts hallways, just another student like any other. Nothing special, nothing worth of his attention.

That changed in his fifth year. It was the year in which he had, predictably, been made Gryffindor Prefect. It was what he'd worked so hard for during four years, and the first step to achieve his wildest dream since he'd been eight: to become the youngest Minister of Magic in Wizarding history. It was the year he had the chance to prove himself. And he wasn't going to waste it.

Unfortunately, the other Gryffindor Prefect was simply unbearable. She was one of those giggling, flirtatious girls who seemed to only think about make-up and dates, and that all their reading material consisted of Teen Witch Weekly. It was a wonder how she'd been made Prefect at all. Percy guessed that the other options were too awful to consider.

He felt terribly embarassed during their first Prefect meeting, as his partner didn't stop making the most senseless questions ever and possibly the worst suggestions, to the point Percy thought that the current Head Boy – a rather haughty-looking Slytherin – would hex her just to make her shut up. Inwardly, Percy wouldn't have blamed him, although he was certain there had to be a rule that forbade such behaviour.

All the other Prefects, including the older Gryffindors, were quietly laughing at the girl's lack of sense. She didn't notice a thing, but it didn't matter, as Percy felt mortified for both of them. At least he'd managed to prove that not all Gryffindors were hopeless, as even the Slytherin Head Boy approved one of his suggestions. Perhaps that was the reason the curly-haired Ravenclaw girl decided to approach him at the end of the meeting.

'Hi, I'm Penelope Clearwater.'

Percy hastened to hold out his hand.

'My name is Percy, Percy Weasley.'

She smiled, to his utter surprise. Girls didn't smile much at him.

'I thought your idea was wonderful... Would you mind telling me more about it...?'

It was somewhat funny how certain things got started. One only comment from Penelope had made Percy, who'd never thought much of girls his age, as he thought they all had to be like his fellow Gryffindors, step down of his pedestal. And so a friendship had been forged.

When his O.W.L results arrived (he'd got twelve of them) and he barely spared them a glance, his family got worried. His mother would not stop saying he was sick, and she constantly looked for signs that could explain his son's apathy. He pushed her away, suddenly annoyed at her mollycoddling. It was strange. One of the reasons he'd always worked so hard to be in top of everything was that he seeked his parents' praise. When you had six brothers, you had to make an extra effort to stand out. Now that he'd achieved it and his mother wouldn't leave him alone, he wanted nothing more than to get rid of her. It was very strange indeed.

The twins started to mock him endlessly, getting more and more preoccupied as they got no response from Percy, who usually went ballistic when the twins played a prank on him. Even Ron, who always seemed to be in his own world, began to look at him with curiosity, and once Ginny had flung her arms around him, as though she needed reassurance that her brother was still there.

His father was the only one who seemed to understand why Percy spent more and more hours locked in his bedroom, why he was avoiding everybody, why he seemed to have lost his appetite and why every morning his gaze searched the sky avidly looking for a glimpse of Hermes bringing him a new letter. But his father wasn't around that much those days, and Percy wished Bill or Charlie were there, so he could talk to them about what was going on in his head, because writing just wasn't the same. He was so confused lately. Most of the time he felt apathetic, unwilling to do anything, when he'd always been so active. He couldn't stand other people's company, he couldn't concentrate enough to read, not even his favourite books, and he couldn't even settle to finish his schoolwork. Something very odd was happening to him.

Sometimes, he feared he might be going insane. His whole world seemed to have been turned upside down. Everything that had mattered to him so much, all the stuff he'd considered to be so important, seemed to have faded away in a sea of nottingness. Even the dream of becoming Minister of Magic seemed very far away now, as though it had been the ambition of somebody else. All he could concentrate in, all he could think of, was her.

He couldn't remember who'd kissed each other first. He just knew they had been at the bottom of the library, hidden by a pile of books, and that she'd never looked so beautiful like in that precise moment, when the last rays of sunlight sparkled on her head. In a sudden, they both had leant forward, and he'd felt her lips brushing his. It was a clumsy kiss, with their noses bumping each other and his glasses and her curls getting in the way, but it had also been the most fantastic experience he'd ever had. He had never, ever, felt something like this, this light-headedness, this rush in his veins, this euphoria. He had never felt so alive.

After that kiss there had been others, better ones. Always in hidden places, always afraid they would be caught, but always wonderful and magical. And then, one day she'd blushed and said she liked him a lot. He'd turned crimson and told her she was the most beautiful, the most brilliant person he'd ever met, and had asked her to be his girlfriend. His heart had been on his throat for a full minute, until she looked up and smiled, making him feel like he could float. And so the fluent exchange of mail began.

Percy clung to those letters like a thirsty man clings to a glass of water in the middle of the desert. He missed her laugh, the way her curls seemed to bounce on her back, her witty comments, her wet lips on his. He felt like he was drying inside without her. He wondered how was he going to survive all the summer at The Burrow and whether he would not vanish before the term started. What was wrong with him?

Bill's diagnosis didn't take long to arrive.

You're in love, Perce. Congrats, lil' brother. Get ready to suffer.

Giving it a second thought, perhaps it wasn't so bad that Bill wasn't there to mock him.

It was a hideous year. Percy was worried sick because of Ginny's odd behaviour (she seemed to be more and more consumed by every passing day, she no longer looked like his baby girl anymore but more like a ghost), worried sick because of Ron's reckless actions (last year he'd been knocked out by a giant chess and Percy shuddered every time he thought what would have happened if his little brother had been forced to face You-Know-Who, and now he was trying to play detective again, was he suicidal or what?), and horrified by what was going on within Hogwarts walls (all those poor children, how come nobody had caught the Heir yet? Why couldn't the teachers stop the attacks? Wasn't the Castle supposed to be the safest place in the world). He felt impotent, too, because nothing he did seemed to help things: Ginny looked more and more troubled every day, Ron kept getting in trouble and there were no signs yet of the infamous Heir's identity.

When he was with her, though, he forgot about it all. He knew that what they were doing was wrong, sneaking around to make out, when everyone was so worried and the security had tightened so much. He knew he was setting a bad example for his siblings and the rest of the school, he knew he could lose his Prefect badge, he knew he had to focus on his studies if he wanted to become Head Boy. He knew he should feel guilty for being so happy when everybody was so troubled and scared.

But as long as his arms were tightly wrapped around her waist, as long as her curls tickled his nose, as long as they had each other, he couldn't care less.

-

The day she was attacked, Percy was unable to utter a single word. He just went to see her and spent hours sitting at her side, just contemplating her still form (how could she, who'd always been so full of life, look like a marble statue? And the expression on her face... that horrible expression of terror she should have never had...) until Madam Pomfrey had shoved him away. He had just gone to Gryffindor common room and sat by the fire, in complete and utter silence.

It wasn't until he forced himself back to his dorm that he showed any signs of emotion. When he walked through the door, he heard Oliver Wood complaining about the cancellation of the Quidditch Cup. Without thinking, without muttering a word, Percy punched him on the nose, hard enough to make the more corpulent boy fall flat on his back, his nose bleeding profusely. Wood was so shocked that he did not respond. It was the first and the last row (although it couldn't exactly be called that, as none of them had argued or mumbled a single word) they had during their school years.

The rest of his dormates just stared at him in shock. Percy, ignoring them all, undressed and slid under the blankets, hoping that sleep would come soon.

It never came.

His moment had come at last and he told her so. The moment to prove what he was worth and to become somebody important. So if it meant they would see each other even less than they'd done when he'd worked for Mr. Crouch, then they would have to make a small sacrifice. It would be hard, but Percy knew it was going to be for the best. For both of them.

Because Percy had already decided that Penelope was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. However, first there were certain things that needed to be taken care of. He wouldn't make the same mistake his parents had. He wouldn't start a family until he was certain he could offer them the lifestyle they deserved. And he still had a long way to go before he reached that point.

She understood. Even when his family didn't, even when those who were closest to him refused to believe in him, she gave him all her support. Sometime during the long months that followed his decision of siding with the Ministry, though, that support must have started to waver. He was so immersed in himself, however, that he never saw it coming. He never saw that she showed less and less enthusiasm for what he had to say, she insisted less and less on seeing each other more frequently and her letters became shorter and further between.

However, he did notice when two entire weeks passed without a word from her, whereas he'd already sent her three owls. Worried (but not because he gave any credit to those malicious rumours of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's return, of course) he Apparated at the flat she shared with a friend from Hogwarts. To his surprise, he was received by her very nervous-looking friend, who told him Penelope was in Mexico.

'Mexico? What's she doing there,' he inquired, although what he really wanted to know was why she hadn't told him anything first. The girl shifted uncomfortably.

'She got a job offer. For two months. And she, er, accepted it.' She bit her lower lip. 'She said that, in the unlikely case you showed up, I had to give you this.'

Percy was so shocked at the news that he barely registered the girl thrusting a pale blue envelope in his hand and then scurrying away.

Penelope's letter was short and straight to the point. In few words, she informed him they were through. She no longer could keep on like this. At first, she'd believed that the right thing for her to do was to support him. However, she couldn't forever wait for him to come around. He had ignored her long enough for Penelope to learn that his job came first, and that she no longer wanted to compete for his attention.

'But you ignoring me isn't even the worst part, Percy. I used to believe you did what you felt was right, and I supported you for it. But that has changed. You've compromised your principles, and now you're moved, not by the wish of securing us a better future, not by the willing to work for the greater good, but by your own ambition. You're no longer the Percy I fell in love with.'

It was surprising how much her last words stung him. He reread them a dozen times, unable to understand how Penelope could think such things of him. When it had become too much to bear, he'd burnt the note.

For a long while, he was convinced that, if he were given the chance to see her again face to face, he would be able to fix things. That he would be able to reason with her, he was even willing to beg in order to save their relationship. That chance was never given to him: Penelope did not return, neither did she answer any of his letters.

He had two choices: either let himself drown in his own despair, or act as if nothing was wrong. He'd never been one to accept defeat easily, so he began to act as though he'd already forgot Penelope. He minded his own business like usual, and he became more of a work-addict than ever before. He'd even started to sleep over at his office, unwilling as he was to face the hollowness of his apartment.

It was easy not to think about it when he had a pile of paperwork on his desk, but when that necessary distraction was taken away from him, the full blow of Penelope's loss hit him with the force of a cannon ball. He spent day and night in bed, staring at the dancing shadows on the ceiling, or dragging himself to the Hog's Head to drown his sorrows in firewhiskey. Her absence had felt like phisycal pain that never stopped to hurt him.

One day, he had realised that rising from bed was a little easier than the day before, and in a while he'd got used to this new life without her silvery laugh and her vivacious brown eyes. That day he realised he'd finally moved on.

In spite of this, Percy doubted he would ever get over the ache of losing his first love because of his own ambition and blindness. Such foolish, ephemeral shadows compared to the wonder of a woman who would stay at your side no matter what, a woman that waited for you with her arms wide open and a bright smile on her lips.

Percy had made a mistake. He wouldn't make it ever again.

Many thanks to Blushing sigh and EvenAngelsCry for their encouraging review. And what are you waiting for? Tell me what you thought about it!