"This must be the Marh Hare's house," Alice said.
"No shit, what gave you the first clue? The ear shaped chimneys or the fur roof?" shot back Molly.
"The sign that says, The March Hare's House."
"Oh, well that too."
Molly and Alice decided to go and knock on the door when Alice said, "Suppose the March Hare is raving mad? And then I'd wish that I'd gone and seen the Hatter instead!"
"Idiot, didn't you hear what Felix said?"
"Who is the world is Felix?"
"It's that cat that grinned."
"He never told us his name."
"No, but I like naming these animals...creatures..things..."
"Okay, well no, I don't remember what the cat said."
"He said that everyone is mad here! So no matter where we go, were gonig to run into some loons."
"Oh, well I suppose there is no use in running back then."
"Nope kid, we will just go right in the Hare's house." So now they both walked up to the house and saw a table was set out under a tree in front of the rabbit-shaped house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea. A dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it and talking over it's head.
"That mus be uncomfortable for the Dormouse," Alice whispered to Molly.
"I'm sorry what I can't hear you! Are you talking trash about the Hatter and the Hare?" Molly screamed, but she perfectly knew that Alice said no such thing. But the Hare and Hatter heard Molly and stared hard at Alice.
"Why I-"
"I know that you said the Hatter looked like a fag in his polk-a-dot bow tie!"
"How dare you! It was an un-birthday present!" remarked the Hatter. Alice payed no attention and went to sit down at one of the many chairs but then the Hare cried, "No room! No room!"
"Why, there's plenty of room," said Alice, she was getting annoyed with the people here, then she sat down.
"Why Alice! First talking bad about these kind people and now inviting your un-wanted self to sit down!" Molly did this "tisk tisk" movement with her fingers, then sat down herself.
"Have some juice." the March Hare offered to Alice.
"Hey I'm the nice one!" cried Molly, but Hatter and Hare payed no mind to Molly, they seemed to like Alice, "I guess being rude works in this world," Molly sighed.
Alice looked around the table, but saw no juice, only tea. "I don't see any juice."
"That's because there isn't any, there's only tea," replied the Hatter.
"HA HA! See they do like me better!" laughed Molly.
"Then it wasn't very polite of you to offer it," Alice barked at them.
"It wasn't very polite of you to sit down without being invited," the Hare snapped back.
"Yeah! You tell him Hairy!" cried Molly. The Hare looked at Molly like he was going to kill her and she softly said, "Um...sorry...March Hare..." Then she added, "But hey! You just said what I said a minute ago! About how she was inviting herself"
The Hare payed no attention to this remark.
Molly felt like someone was staring at her, so she turned around slowly and saw the Hatter's mad eyes staring at her and then he said, "Your hair needs to be cut."
"You shouldn't make such personal remarks," Alice said, "It's very rude."
"This coming from the girl who invited herself to sit at our table," said the Hare.
"Oh my god! Can we drop that? It was soooo five minutes ago!" sighed Molly as she slumped on her elbows from boredom.
The hatter's eyes grew wide and he said, "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"
"Well, I guess we'll have some fun now! I love riddles," Alice cried.
"It just sound like a load of bull shit to me," came Molly's muffled voice for she was face down on the table trying to go to sleep.
"I believe I can guess that," stated Alice, still thinking.
"Do you mean that you think you can come up with the answer to it?" asked the March Hare.
"Exactly so," replied Alice.
"Then you should say what you mean," said the March Hare.
"I do," Alice said back, "At least, I mean what I say-and that's the same thing."
"It's not at all the same thing!" the Hatter cried, "Why, you might as well say that 'I see what I eat' is the same thing as 'I eat what I see.' "
"You might as well say," added the March Hare, "that 'I like what I get' is the same thing as 'I get what I like!' "
"You might as well say," the Dormouse chimed in, "that 'I breath when I sleep' is the same thing as 'I sleep when I breath!' "
"It is the same thing with you," said the Hatter.
"Oh Oh! I got one! You might as well say 'I jump on my foot' is the same thing as 'I foot on my jump'..." peeped up Molly as they all stared at her like she gave a stupid example, "Sorry it was the first thing that came to mind!"
"What day of the month is it?" the Hatter asked as he took his watch out of his pocket.
"The fourth," Alice stated.
"Two days wrong!" sighed the hatter. Then he dipped his watch into his tea.
Molly leaned over towards Alice and whispered, "These fools are crazy! Lets get out of here!" But Alice wasn't ready to go, Molly took a nap while the Hatter, Hare, and Alice had a discussion about "Time" and how Alice had never met him. And how the Hare and Hatter made "Time" mad so it's tea time all the time. Molly woke up with the Hare was jumping up and down and screaming, "I vote that Alice tell's us a story! TELL US A STORY!"
"I'm afraid I don't know one," Alice replied.
"Then the Dormouse shall tell us one!"
"No! Alice let's get the hell--I mean...I beg your pardon, Hatter, Hare, and Dormouse, but me and Alice have a meeting with the queen, and we must go play a game with her." But they weren't listening, they were to busy running and switching chairs and singing the "very merry un-birthday song."
So Alice and Molly ventured into the forest yet again when they stoped to take a breath.
"Man this fucking forest is huge!" cried Molly, out of breath.
"Yes I suppose so-" But Alice stopped as she stared at a tree that turned into a door. Alice and Molly looked in the tree and saw what the room was.
"Oh hell no! I'm not going back in there again! It's that room with all those doors that are locked and the big glass table! Last time you nearly drowned us!" yelled Molly.
"This time we know what to do." So Molly and Alice walked back where they started.