AN: Sigh…just once…just once can I write a story without bad crits? I know its part of the package but no one likes getting only a bad comment and nothing good about the story…at least say you like the format…something…

No matter. I know I'm not shit and that's all that matters. This work is my baby and like any mother, I'm not going to let people be mean to it for no reason! I'm throwing in some other replies to reviews to other stories because I think that there are some that deserve replies. That's the problem with one-shots…

Onto replies from chapter 2:

Chuquita: Ohmigod! One of my two favourite fanfic authors on is here! (I think Camaro got banned again…)

runs around madly

Shame, poor Veggie…yeah, Kakarot is going to learn lots over the course of this trip. I'm going to go check Ojichan! For an update! I LOVE that story, been checking three times a day for an update! Thanks for the review! By the way, in the bar I work at, we have a cocktail called the "Chiquita", its got banana liqueur and all sorts of goodness. Quite popular too…

Falconsblade: I should hope this isn't half-assed! Thank you for saying that; I really put a lot of work into this one; I did research and rewrote many paragraphs. I will continue (I finished writing the whole thing last Monday) and I hope that you'll stay for the ride. You don't write long reviews, but you really get a great point across in fewer words and that's always welcome.

Omnimalevolent: alright, fine, Vegeta is cliché. Either cliché or OOC, take your pick. I'm sorry. But there is an explanation for his resignation: he's made peace with it. Kakarot either embraces death when it suits him, or cheats it. Yeah, I get kinda scary when someone shits on my work. Whew, if you think I'm bad, try flame Camaro. She'll put anyone in their place. I adore that woman; she's got bigger balls than any man I know. I hope you'll stay to read the rest, but if you don't, I understand. Very cool screen name, by the way.

Linkin Park 04: I love Linkin Park! Yeah, it is sad, but thank you for saying it's well-written, at least! Much appreciated! And although I wouldn't say Kakarot is nothing…its about time the Prince got to show his talent!

Marih Dimitri: Cool screen name; it sounds Greek! And I'm half Greek myself…here's a tissue…it won't always be sad! Thanks for the review.

Yami Persophone: Hey, my family hides the sugar from me too! Hmm, I got tired of being mean to Bulma and Chichi. It gets kinda bitchy after a while. You'll see what I have in mind later. Six months in Hades is sorta like opening the reviews page: you get scared because you worry about flames or reviews with only bad crits (and they are two different things) and it's actually pretty scary. Sometimes, I'd rather not look at the reviews and just post. I can forgive you for flaming; that's not Hermione's style! I love Harry Potter! I'm going to be standing at the bookstore at 1:01am when it gets released here in South Africa! I already pre-booked my copy. However, I feel that Rowling has developed a formula…it would be nice if Harry became the next Voldemort…

Whew…long reply…

Laremi: I'm not saying anything…but I think you'll like what's happening. I'm sorry, I'm so proud of this story and how it turns out, so I take it far more personally when people aren't kind to it. I know it's their prerogative and that when I put things out I must take the bad with the good…but its not nice. Ever made a cake and someone threw it up? That's how I feel when I get bad crits. But hey, I'm a waitress. I've got VERY thick skin. But thank you for your wonderful reviews; they make it worth it.

Clarobell: Aw, things will work out…sorta…here's a tissue, and stay on, as I know you will! There will be some happier moments for our two Saiyans.

Blackroseinvasion: I like Veggie's pajamas too! Yeah, it is sad, but I think I've done more than enough fluff in my life. Thanks for reviewing, and here's your request for more!

Replies to reviews from one-shots

Viper-Vegeta: Dude, what happened to you! I haven't heard from you since "Goku's Priorities" way back when! Yeah, I've been eating a lot of cheese, can you tell? Heh, I liked that story, despite the corniness. It makes me happy when I read it. I won't get angry with you; the question is justified. If you want something a little less cute, stick with this story! Oh, my pen name…basically, its an amalgamation. My real name is Zoë, right, and my favourite character is Vegeta so I smushed our names together. It sounds cooler than the story behind it but I'm glad you like it. I think it sounds strong. Gutterball said it sounds like a 'don't you dare flame me, peon," kind of name. so, it stuck. But thanks for keeping me on your favourites list! Much appreciated!

Tonketa-Ouji: I don't know if you'll ever read this, but thank you for your wonderful review. It could make a good story, but that was already an unplanned sequel to an intended one-shot. But if you would like to continue it, by all means! I'd love to see what you could do with it!

One last thing…

Oh, I started an Odd Couples Challenge at the end of my Goten and Trunks story that only 5 people read…

Basically, I'm looking for the best odd couple anyone can think of. I've already had one entry from Lady Sakura-chan with good fat Buu and Vegeta. You can get as freaky, sappy, angsty or funny as you like! I have no prizes to offer (I don't have a website to applaud you on) but if anyone has a suggestion for a prize, I'm listening.

So, if you have time and a crazy imagination, go for it! Whether its Kakarot and 18 or Piccolo and King Yemma, I'm really looking forward to reading what you talented people come up with!

Operators are standing by! Good luck!

Chapter Three:

Stage Two:

Heat

"Kakarot! Get up, you lazy, third-class idiot!"

I jerk awake and sit up abruptly, feeling disorientated before I remember where I am. I turn to glare at him, my tail bristling.

"Dammit, Vegeta, you don't have to be so rude! Didn't your parents teach you any manners?"

His face goes blank, the smirk sinking away.

"My mother died when I was three and my father was dead by my ninth birthday. Frieza brought me up."

I look at my knees, feeling rather embarrassed for that remark. But he doesn't look insulted.

"Sorry," I mutter.

I hear him shifting slightly. "It doesn't…it doesn't matter. Just get out of bed, get dressed, eat and meet me at the exit in fifteen minutes."

He departs from the room in his usual arrogant swagger and I yawn as I stretch. I completely forgot about his parents, or lack thereof. I guess it must have been terrible growing up alone with Frieza as a sort of demented parent figure. At least I had my friends and grandpa Gohan. Actually, I've never thought about it before, but we're both orphans.

Well, no use crying over broken dragonballs. I'll just have to make it up to him by working extra hard today.

Idiot. Life scented like a basket of strawberries. Let's just see how smug he feels after today's training. There's the prat now.

"Get a move on!"

He speeds up to a trot, pulling his armour over his head. I walk out down the gangplank and he follows.

"So, what are we doing today?"

I lead us across the snow plains, footsteps muffled by the new snow that fell overnight. "Today, we're doing intensive heat training. I want to see how well you cope with harsh environments, and you're going to do all of them; hot, windy, wet, take your pick."

He scratches his head, making me cringe internally. It's bad enough that our race was written off as apes without him looking like that!

"All on one planet?"

"Of course. That's exactly why the Saiyans chose this planet. It offers every challenge a Saiyan father would want to put his kid through. Or, in our case, Prince and subject."

"Oh. So, where are we going?"

"The Deathbed Desert. It's constantly swept by hot, dry winds and sandstorms, not to mention all the scorpions."

He slows down, looking rather scared. "Um, will we be okay?"

Oh, tormenting him is so much fun.

"Probably not. We could lose limbs, we could die. But if I could go through all this at the age of seven, you can too."

He gulps quite audibly but I press on. The snow starts to melt into rock, which disintegrates into sand.

"Well, here we are; the Deathbed Desert. Come along, Kakarot."

"Err, yeah…um, Vegeta?"

I turn to look at him. "What now?"

He's awkwardly twisting his fingers around and over each other and looking at the floor. "It's just that, well…you see, I get these really bad heat rashes and –"

"You can't lie to save your pathetic hide!"

I grab him by the front of his gi and jerk him down to my eye level, ignoring his whimper.

"Listen here, Kakarot. I've had enough of your whining! My son went through this last year at the age of ten and he didn't complain once! But you're a bigger baby than he is and its drilling into my head! If you think that this is too much for you, tell me now and we'll get on that ship and I'll take your worthless ass home! I'm giving up more than you'll ever understand just to do this. So answer me, Kakarot; are you a man…or an overgrown brat?"

I can almost see the tiny little wheels going in that backward brain of his. I let go and wait as he thinks it out. The idea of going home obviously appeals to him; it's better than being stuck here with an arrogant Prince. But I know that the Saiyan (as buried as it is) inside him will take the challenge. He glares at me morosely while rubbing his head, but there's a glint of determination behind his eyes that I can't miss.

"Fine, I'll do it. Even if it is just to prove you wrong."

"That's more like it. Now we're going to the middle of the desert, so try keep up."

I hear him grumble as he follows. That's right, Kakarot. We don't have much time to do this. I refrain from putting my hand on my chest to somehow soothe the dull ache. He mustn't know. I know that the soft idiot will refuse to train if he finds out that this is shaving years off my life. Not because he cares about me, but because he cares about how my death will affect Bulma.

We trudge between two rows of sand dunes until we get to a plain. I've already adjusted to the heat but he hasn't, and I'm about to show him how. We stop and he bends over, hands on his knees while he pants. He looks up at me, his bangs stuck to his forehead with sweat.

"How–how come you're not hot?" he pants, wiping his hand across his eyes. The two suns are baking down, a hot, dry breeze is swirling and yet I'm still my cool, collected self.

"That's what I'm going to teach you today: how to cope with extreme heat. It all boils down to the simple idea of homeostasis. Basically, the internal body has to maintain a constant state so that everything functions properly. But Saiyans are unique in many ways, and one of them temperature control. Saiyans are both endothermic and ectothermic."

He holds up a hand to stop me.

"Hang on. Explain: endothermic and ectothermic?"

I could smack my forehead and groan.

"Don't you know anything? In layman's terms, Saiyans are both warm and cold blooded, which makes us able to adjust to extreme temperatures. Let's get started. First of all, uncurl your tail and let it hang, like mine."

He does so, and it hangs limply to the ground, soaked with sweat.

"Next, wave it around as fast as you can so that the sweat evaporates and takes heat with it."

He hesitates, then starts whipping his tail from side to side and he looks happier as the sweat evaporates and starts to cool him down.

"Much better."

"It's also a state of mind. With practice, a Saiyan can learn to control every part of his body. What I've done is open all my pores to allow sweat to evaporate, and my skin is flushed because my blood is running along my skin where its cooler, instead of running around my torso, as it would if I were cold."

He nods. "What's a Saiyan's body temperature? And what is the worst we can withstand in extremes?"

"Good question, Kakarot. Our core temperature is usually around 40 degrees Celsius, or 104 Fahrenheit to you. We can drop to about minus 35 Celsius or minus 31 Fahrenheit, and we can take up to 95 Celsius, 203 Fahrenheit, no problem. This desert averages about 149 Fahrenheit and your body has already begun to adjust without you knowing it. But I can cool down much faster because I've been exposed to extreme conditions more often than you have."

I can feel sweat trickling down the back of my neck and into my eyes. I privately smirk to myself. For all our evolution, we still reek when we sweat. I guess Nature had to slip up somewhere.

"So, anything else you have to tell me?"

"You're going to be blindfolded again, and you're going to find your way back to the ship."

His eyes widen and his tail freezes in place. It's rather amusing.

"You've got to be kidding! How am I going to do that!"

I unwrap his blindfold from my wrist and give it to him, feeling rather amused by his outright shock. "It won't be that hard, Kakarot. We're simply building on yesterday's lesson. If you clap, you can use the resulting echo to find your way out. If you think hard enough, you'll figure out a way home with your other senses as help. Look, you managed to catch Yakon in the dark; you'll find the ship. If and when you get back, you can have a shower."

He shrugs as he ties it around his eyes. I check that he isn't cheating before I step back.

"Good luck, Kakarot."

I start running, my footsteps almost totally muffled by the sand. But I'm running downwind in the wrong direction, to test if he'll be dumb enough to follow me without testing all options. I quickly change direction again and get upwind so that my scent doesn't carry to him. I walk slowly towards the ship and all this time he hasn't moved. I can tell that he's trying to map out a route, which means he's thinking. Good boy. Maybe there is some hope for the simpleton after all.

I keep an eye on him as I climb up a hill and watch his progress. He's taking my advice and working with radar. It looks odd to see him blindfolded and clapping but at least he's going in the right direction to the ship. We walked in between dunes to get here, and although sand doesn't provide much of an echo, its enough for Saiyan ears. Ah, he's sniffing. Clever, Kakarot. Trying to pick up on a scent trail. And he seems to have found it too. That will get him out of the desert but let's see how well he does on the snow plains. Our scents will have evaporated by now and he'll get thrown by the change in temperature. His body will have to warm up and I neglected to tell him how to heat up. Oops.

I feel a familiar stab of pain in my chest, overriding the usual dull ache. I grip my shirt instinctively, even though it doesn't do much for the pain. I'd better get back to the ship and take my pills. I slide down the sand dune and fall in step behind Kakarot, who doesn't even notice me. Dimwit.

I'm too old for this crap.

Okay, it's cold now…that means I'm not too far from the ship. If I remember clearly enough, there was a range of mountains to my right as I left the snow plain, so it should be on my left as I come back, and the ship somewhere on my right. Oh, I can't wait to see Vegeta when I get back! I'm so tired of him thinking that I'm an idiot. This training isn't so bad, he must have been exaggerating.

Alright…clap. Echo bouncing off my left, so mountains are there, and they sound pretty far away, judging by the weak echo. Veer right, stand still. Clap again. Mountains are behind me, so that means I'm facing the same area the ship is in. But this damn plain is so big. So, I might need to go forward, then take a left and work my way upwards. We seem to be in a sort of crater area, so when I start going uphill that means I've gone too far. Great, so now I have a plan. Clap. Hang on…there's an odd echo. Something over there. It must be the ship! This was so much easier than I thought!

Why the hell is Kakarot running towards that rock? The ship is the other way. Wait a nanosecond…that isn't a rock! Oh, shit. I cup my hands around my mouth and yell.

"Kakarot! Take off your blindfold!"

He turns towards my voice and the 'rock' stands up on two long ice legs, uncurling its iced arms and fists and head from its body. Just our luck. A fucking ice titan!

I run towards him and he scratches his head.

"What's the matter, Vegeta?"

"BEHIND YOU!"

He tugs the blindfold down and turns to look at the thing behind him. He gulps as the titan towers over him, his head as tall as its ankle.

"Oh shit…"

I skid next to him and stop. I ignore the pain shooting through my chest as I figure out some sort of way out of this situation. The thing roars and peers down at us, growling within its chest. It resembles some sort of stick insect. Kakarot taps me on the shoulder, eyes still fixed on the creature.

"Uh, what are we going to do, Vegeta? A plan would be really good right now…"

A plan slams against my brain and I grab it.

"Run, Kakarot. We're taking this bastard to the desert and we're going to melt him. It doesn't have any capacity for logic, and if we anger it, it'll follow us!"

Kakarot looks up at it, then runs forward and slams his fist right into its shin. I wince when there's a loud CRACK and his gloves suddenly show streaks of crimson. The man is insane, but his plan works. The titan howls and tries to stamp on him, but he rolls out of the way and starts running, grabbing my wrist.

"What are you waiting for! RUN!"

I jerk my wrist away and start sprinting. We can run faster if we aren't attached. I sneak a look back over my shoulder and speed up. Its long legs are carrying it after us, two small, bright specks against the snow. Kakarot is streaking ahead of me, and despite my adrenaline, the burning pain in my chest is starting to blur my vision. But I grit my teeth, shove the pain away and force myself to catch up. We're nearing the edge of the desert, our legs just keeping us out of the reach of the monster's wildly grabbing hands. I can hear it roaring behind us, ducking my head just in time as it tries to knock it clean off my neck. Almost there…

But it gets lucky and grabs me in one of my claws, lifting me up and holding me tight.

"Kakarot! Keep running!"

He doesn't even look back; he can tell by the height of my voice what's happened. It stops and holds me up to its face, which resembles little more than a snowball with black eyes the size of my head. I lunge forward and drive my fist into its eye until my arm is sunk in up to the elbow. It feels disgusting, but its tormented howl is quite rewarding. It tries to bat me away, but it lets go of me and I cling onto its face, my arm hooked into its eye socket. I ignore the purple blood flowing over me; survival is a little more important than minutiae right now.

"Vegeta! Are you okay!"

"I'm fine! Just hurt it and make it follow you to the desert! Drag it if you have to!"

The titan swings its head, a guttural moan of pain rumbling from it. It tries to dislodge me but I sink my other fist into the other eye and it howls as it goes blind. I feel heat on my back and welcome it; we must be in the desert now. The titan falls to its knees and claws at its face, finding my waist and pulling me off. It throws me hard and I feel myself flying through the air before I slam against a huge rock, and the last thing I see is Kakarot running towards me as my vision goes black.