Buffy stared at the small phone in her hand, in too much shock to notice the surprised look on Angel's face, or the slight flash of worry that quickly flickered before his eyes.

She was on duty. Something that she had been wishing and working so hard for; all these years working up to this moment, and now it was here. She'd reached her goal- what she'd always wanted.

So why did she feel so strange? Why wasn't she bursting with joy and jumping up and down like she should be?

Before she had a chance to tackle those thoughts, Angel's arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a friendly embrace. Snapping out of her daze, she planted a smile on her face as he pulled back and gave her a happy and somewhat proud smile.

"Whoa, that's great Buffy, congratulations." He said sincerely, pushing his worries to the back of his mind.

Buffy gave him a small smile.

"Thanks." She said distractedly, still trying to brush off the strange feelings within her.

"Hey," Angel gave her a slightly concerned look, tilting her head gently so her eyes met his own. "Are you okay?"

"What? Oh yeah, yeah I'm fine. Just really really shocked I guess. Gonna take a while to sink in." she said, smiling a bit more.

Angel could tell as he looked into her eyes that she wasn't completely honest, that something was obviously off with her, but deciding that she'd tell him if or when she was ready, he let it go, nodding slightly.

"That's understandable… any idea why they want to meet with you tomorrow?" he asked, as smoothly as he could.

"Oh, well I guess just to go over the rules and stuff. What my responsibilities are and that. It'll probably just be with a senior warrior or something as per usual, which is a bit disappointing since I'd love to see Garrison's face, but it's fine. Shouldn't take all that long. I'm gonna try and get my bike back when I'm there too, the 'punishment' is technically over so it's only fair that I get it back right?"

Angel nodded, smirking at his memory of the loud vehicle from the night they met. Mostly because of his old-fashioned lifestyle, he'd never been a big fan of motorized vehicles (with the exception of a little red sports car back in the 1980's, which he's sworn never to speak of again) but it was obvious that Buffy had taken a great liking to them, which given her complex and unpredictable personality didn't really surprise him all that much.

Buffy, finally recalling why she'd come in here in the first place, quickly moved to pick up her phone and jacket once again. Angel, following suit; gathered the now forgotten books and moved towards the front entrance, his blonde companion trailing not too far behind.

Their walk across town was pleasantly uneventful; neither of the two spoke much at all (well, Buffy was oddly quiet and so really the only difference was that Angel had no one to listen to). Angel snuck a few side-glances at the blonde warrior before him, worried about her sudden change in demeanour. His initial reaction to her being put on duty was suspicious, given the council's attitude towards her in the past, he all-too surprised by their abrupt 'change of heart'. Silently he hoped that his visit with Lindsay might help to clear things up a bit, perhaps someone who used to work for the council might have some idea of what they're doing.

Buffy, on the other hand, was too far in thought to notice his glances, or much else around her. The shock had started to die off, and as a result although she was happy about her 'promotion', with it came some very real worries that shook her to her very core.

After her "breakdown" all those years ago, she'd spent months trying to regain some sense of balance within herself, as well as clarity over what happened that night. She could remember it, with vibrant detail and surround sound in fact, and although she understood why she had felt that way and what had led up to it, what she'd done that night was all an emotional daze for her; something that she'd never been able to completely work out. As for her "inner balance", she had done what she'd been told would get her out faster, and what she knew would more or less "fix" her problems enough for her to have a normal life again- she gave in. She let who she was move to the most guarded parts of her heart and decided on a main goal, one that she would do anything and everything to achieve, the reason she got up every morning- the goal that made her keep going day by day. And now, all these years later, she'd achieved it.

It was here, over with, done. A part of her was thrilled that she'd finally been accepted to do the job she knew she could handle, but a greater part of her was not only scared… she was downright terrified. Her main focus all those years had been this- the thing that she had devoted everything to after her breakdown. It seemed like it was the only real thing she'd had to hold on to, the thing that had allowed her to be the person she was for the past five and a half years. And now it was gone. She no longer had that to work for and she couldn't help but wonder what she was going to do now; what she had to strive for. And most importantly, what did this mean for her as a person? Now that that 'brace' was gone, what was really stopping her from going back to the way she was? True, she had noticed a significant change in herself since she'd met Angel; he seemed to slip through all the walls that had been guarding that part of her, and maybe because of that she felt at ease with him, like the Buffy-ish her just fell right into place again. But even then, when it came down to it she was more than capable of slipping back into her old attitude (some of which had unknowingly come out when she'd first introduced Angel to Lindsay), and now- with what she'd thought 'held it' there gone, what was to keep her from going all emotionally-wacko again? Or worse, a repeat of the night that often went unspoken between her family and friends.

Sighing, she shook her head, a small voice inside her laughed while another part of her mentally kicked herself.

/This is what you get for not dealing with it then. /

Buffy suppressed a groan, unresolved issues- one thing that no matter how hard you try, always seem to come back and bite you in the ass.

Sighing, she looked up at Angel, finally noticing his eyes on her.

"What?" she asked, finally snapping out of her reverie.

Angel shrugged,

"I was just wondering if we were actually going to Giles' tonight, or if you've walked by it three times for any particular reason."

Buffy looked around and sure enough, they were a few yards past Giles' driveway, and judging by the time, a good twenty minutes later than they should be. A blush quickly crept across her features.

"Oh my god, sorry, kinda zoned out again." She offered weakly, turning towards the large building.

"Not a problem, although if you were to tell me what's bothering you we might be able to avoid this on our way home." He teased, only half-joking.

Buffy offered him a reassuring smile.

"It's nothing. See?" she said, twirling around slightly. "I'm fine, just a little dreamy; no big."

Angel raised an eyebrow, giving her that "and-you-honestly-expect-me-to-buy-that?" look. She merely rolled her eyes and walked inside the familiar home, hoping that he'd forget about it for a while. Knowing that the subject had officially been "dropped" and that it was pointless to continue with it for now, Angel shook his head and followed her inside and to the library, hearing what sounded like a stack of books drop as he walked into the large room.

Sure enough, there was Giles; a shocked look on his face and a pile of books now by his feet, he stared at Buffy; seemingly frozen to the spot. Tara quickly came through the doorway of Giles' office, obviously in search of the crash and not having heard whatever had just happened.

"Sorry, but, what did you say?" Giles chocked out, staring at Buffy as though she'd grown a second head.

"The council just called- they're putting me on duty, like active duty." Buffy said, amused by her trainer's unfathomable expression.

"Wha-? A- are you sure that you heard them right?"

Angel chose that moment to speak up,

"They phoned this afternoon, I was there. She's right."

Giles blinked a few times before all but falling into the nearest chair, muttering a "Dear lord" under his breath.

"Dear lord? As in bad dear lord?" Buffy asked, a worried expression crossing her features.

"No, no of course not Buffy, that's wonderful, congratulations." Giles said, giving her a fatherly smile. "Just give me a moment for my heart to start beating again."

Buffy smiled. Tara stepped forward, embracing her sister in a hug.

"That's really great Buffy! I'm happy for you, you've earned this a zillion times over!" she said with a smile.

"Thanks." Buffy said, blushing slightly at her sister's whole-hearted congrats.

"Here," Angel said, handing his small stack of books to Giles. "We found these at my apartment, there might still be a few more I haven't checked them all, but for now…"

Giles looked up at him in surprise, gratefully taking the offered volumes.

"Yes, well thank you these should shed some light… my god, is this what I think it is?"

Angel shrugged, taking a seat by the large stack of books that again, seemed to have accumulated from nowhere.

"Angel some of these texts, they must be over thousands of years old. They were lost centuries ago."

Again Angel shrugged,

"When I was …early after my turning I seemed to acquire a taste for rare and ancient artefacts."

Giles nodded, being thoroughly informed of Angel's early 'vamped' activities. Buffy however, who had yet to work up the guts to ask Angel about his soul, gave him a confused look.

"When you were what?" she asked, feeling as though she was missing a big piece of the puzzle.

Angel inwardly cringed, recalling their lack-of chats about his past, masking his reaction he gave her a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry about it, I was just young." He said, silently berating himself.

/And just after you finished trying to get convince her not to keep secrets from you. /

Buffy, knowing how uncomfortable he was talking about his past, let it go and turned her attention to the mass of books that was the library table.

"Giles, where do you get all these?" she asked, groaning slightly.

Giles tore his eyes from the ancient texts, snapping out of what Buffy referred to as his "reading daze".

"Oh, well as you know this library is more than well stocked, and I'm afraid that given my former restrictions, I haven't had a chance to go through it all. It seems that the more and more we look, the more volumes we uncover that may point us in the right direction."

"May? As in all these books we're going through might not have anything to do with any of this?"

When Giles' didn't object, she groaned, her head already aching enough for one day. Sighing, she sat down next to Angel, pulling her chair suspiciously close to his; she started sorting through the books for one in what only Giles could reasonably call English.

For a few hours the small group rummaged through the mountain of books, doing their best to scan through the pages and keep the finished books separate from those that they still had to read. Not much had been spoken, each too engrossed in their current volume to worry about making small talk. They'd silently formed a kind of order; Tara would go through the Latin books as best she could, while Giles took care of those in the foreign human languages he knew as well as a couple demon tongues he had a scant understanding of. Angel took care of the demon languages, as well as any Gaelic or ancient ones they'd come across; leaving Buffy to try and sort through the many English books at their disposal. Or what was called English, it had far too many cryptic and big old words that she could never understand for her liking.

They had migrated somewhat through the night, unknowingly placing their chair that much further from its original spot. Giles was sitting with a pot of strong black (hours old) coffee at the far end of the table, Tara sat close by, needing assistance with the occasional word here and there. Books were askew across the floor, counters, tables, chairs, etc… everyone seeming to have their own "system" for filing. Tara, who had finally finished a large Latin volume on ancient civilizations (which, although somewhat interesting, hadn't included anything helpful), yawned, taking a sip of Giles' coffee, she took the short break to look around; smiling at the sight that greeted her. Silently, she nudged Giles, nodding towards their two companions when he looked up at her questioningly.

The two were sitting at the other end of the table, both pouring over their own volumes. Both their chairs had migrated over the last few hours though; now Angel was sitting at a strange, sideways angle with his legs stretched out in front of him, allowing Buffy to move her chair against his, leaning against his chest in weariness, her feet propped up on the table; making her seem like she was more laying down than sitting. Her eyes fell shut momentarily before she quickly darted them open again, obviously fighting off sleep as best she could. Angel had an arm wrapped comfortably around her shoulders, mindlessly toying with her long blonde locks as he was engrossed in a volume in some form of Gaelic. The two unknowingly made a beautiful (and sinfully cute) picture in their position, it was both surreal and heart warming to the trainer and sister. They were both glad that Buffy seemed to be happy again, having found someone who she was comfortable around, and who, unknown to her, cared about her a great deal. They had both figured that the two had grown close quickly, no doubt developing some form of a romantic relationship. But here it was; the living proof of what had grown between them. Knowing what they did, it was almost impossible to believe that by nature the two were enemies of one and other; each in a way, born to destroy the other at any cost. To any casual observer, it would seem quite the opposite.

Exchanging knowing smiles, Giles spoke up, noticing the time of night.

"Err, Angel, Buffy?" he asked softly, trying not to startle them

Angel looked up from his book, looking dazed for a minute before his eyes focused on Giles. Buffy, who seemed to be near slumber with her eyes closed, didn't move from her spot, or show any sign that she heard him at all.

"I think it would be best if you- and Buffy headed home." He said, smiling at Buffy's state.

Angel, suddenly dazed by the time (not expecting to have stayed that long), merely nodded and looked down, as though finally realizing Buffy was there. For not the first time, he was glad that he couldn't blush as he saw Tara and Giles' amused smiles. Gently, he shook Buffy, suppressing a laugh as she unconsciously moved further into the crook of his arm.

"Buffy." He said softly, shaking her a bit harder.

She snapped out of it with a start, her eyes searching wildly out of confusion.

"I'm here, just…. Reading?" she finished, remembering where and why she was here with a disbelieving groan.

Yawning, she sat up giving Giles an inquiring look.

"So, is there a reason you woke me up or are you just being mean?" she mumbled.

"It's late, we have to go." Angel said, placing his book back on the table.

"Yes, it would be best if you got some sleep as well, I can't imagine you being very lively for your meeting otherwise." Giles added.

Buffy nodded and got up; despite the pain it caused her stiff muscles. Looking at the clock, she was relieved to find that they still had several hours before the sun would be up (mostly because it rose so late nowadays), this way she and Angel wouldn't have to rush, and he could get in some whatever he did before he's trapped inside.

Quickly muttering their goodbyes, the pair left silently, walking hand in hand down the dark streets of the colony. It wasn't long before they were in front of a familiar metal door, Buffy turned to her companion.

"Thanks for walking me home." She said with a slight smile, silently wishing he didn't have to go.

He smiled.

"I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Goodnight." Angel said, before planting a soft, sweet kiss on her lips.

Smiling, he pulled back and moved down the hall, and for the second time she found herself staring at the now empty space with an unsaid goodbye. Sighing, she moved into her apartment, suppressing a growl. Angel was wonderful, caring, smart, strong; but thank the gods he was that good a kisser because sometimes he was damn well the most frustrating man she'd ever met.

Angel, however, stayed in the shadows until she was inside, before quickly slipping out of the complex. Looking to the skies, and thankful that Giles had asked them to leave when he did, the tall vampire took off not towards his apartment, but in the opposite direction- a direction that would hopefully, lead him to some answers.

The small bar was busier than it had been before, but even as Angel stepped in he immediately noted how little it differed from before. There were a few demons sitting at a table close to the exit, obviously wary of uninvited guests. At the bar, however, were what looked like several groups of what Angel immediately recognized as vampires and demons, all in their seemingly human forms. He wouldn't say that the place was "packed" but without a doubt oddly busy. Looking around, he noticed that the table in the far, dark corner was once again occupied; there was one familiar face, given the vibe Angel got from him obviously Lindsay, with someone else who was too cloaked by the shadows to see.

Stepping to the bar, he quietly ordered a drink to blend in better; after taking a few sips he casually made his way towards the corner table, the whispers of the mystery man immediately stopping as he approached. Immediately aware of whom he was, Lindsay stood up, obviously expecting him.

"Angel, good to see you again." He said, although his voice was still slightly guarded.

Angel nodded, and stepped closer, barely masking his surprise as the other man's face came into view.

"You too…" he paused, turning to the other man, "the both of you."

The familiar British man turned to Lindsay, as though asking if he knew who and what Angel was.

"Don't worry, we made an appointment." Lindsay said, sensing the man's worries.

Wesley nodded, his visage surprisingly different from last Angel saw of him. Physically he looked the same, but his eyes had taken on a slightly darker, more dangerous edge.

"Yes, we will continue this at a later date. If you'll excuse me." Wes said, nodding goodbye to them both before standing and leaving the bar.

"Take a seat my friend." Lindsay said, motioning to the chair across from his own as he sat down.

Angel followed suit, carefully looking around the bar.

"Oh, don't worry; they're too busy worrying to listen in tonight."

Angel looked at the many demons curiously, noticing in particular a bleach-blonde male standing with his arm protectively over a small brunette girl's shoulders.

"What are they?" he asked warily, still uneasy about discussing Buffy in public.

"Rebels. Demons mostly, but a few humans- and half humans. They've been hiding out for years, but with the council kicking up their patrols it's getting harder and harder for them to survive. They meet here every now and then, trying to figure out some sort of plan. Wes and Doyle have both been trying to help 'em out. That guy," he said, motioning to the blonde, "Is one of the leaders I guess you could say. He's not in charge or anything but he's their strongest fighter- a vampire, you've probably heard of him; Spike?"

"William the Bloody." Angel murmured, recognizing the name from over the years. He and William had met not long after he was turned, helped each other out in Italy a while back.

"That's the one. Not so bloody anymore though, had a change of heart a century or two ago after he found out that his sister- actual sister had been turned not long after he had. Took her under his wing, all he's care about is protecting her ever since. He's a good man, got all that honour and loyalty crap, but really just wants this over as much of the rest of us."

Angel nodded, looking towards the frail, somewhat nerdy brunette again, realizing that she must be the sister he'd spoke of.

"What about Wes, since when is he playing on our side?"

Lindsay shrugged,

"Not long, switched over a few weeks back, guess I have you to thank for that one." At Angel's curious glance, he continued, "Apparently when he saw you all down and crazy over your girl and it touched him, made him rethink a few things. A couple days later he tracked down Doyle, asked him how he could get in on the action."

Angel didn't respond, just took another slug of the liquor, although a part of him was glad he'd made an impact like that; he was still a little disturbed by it all, not used to being around people whatsoever, never mind changing their life's path.

"But you're not here for the crowd, you're here because you're worried about a little blonde that we all know and love." Angel growled slightly. "Some of us more than others."

"What do you know?" Angel asked, getting annoyed by the man's attitude.

"Buffy, she's a fighter, has a lot of power. Way more than us, but she's not aware of it, her dark side isn't a physical part of her yet, not like you and me."

"And what exactly are you?" Angel retorted.

Lindsay sighed, silently ordering another beer with a wave.

"You know," he started, nodding to the bartender as he handed him a tall glass. "That right there is a long story I really wasn't going to tell you at first, but then I found out about you, and I thought that considering how much we have in common, I might have to."

Angel raised an eyebrow, awaiting an explanation.

"You see Angel, a few years back, I was one of the key players in the council, top of the act, rising higher and higher everyday. I didn't give a damn about 'the mission' or whatever the hell the line was they fed us all back then, I was in it for the power, and at the time, they could give it to me. But then, one bright and sunny day, I met a demon. He was dying, said that he could give me more power than I could have ever imagined, and so, of course I took it. I merged myself with him just as he passed away, had all his power and aspects transferred into me, making me… half- demon I guess you could say. And as a result, I suddenly had the best of both worlds, power from both sides; the demons and the council. It lasted over a year, was about to be Quentin's second hand man but then Garrison ordered some idiots to follow me, and not too long after, the council had resigned my commission and started sending their most elite 'disposal force' after me."

Taking a deep breath, he held up his hand, showing off his golden band on his finger.

"This ring, it keeps me cloaked from any magical or technological detection. It's the reason that the council hasn't been able to find me, but you? You don't have this luxury, nah you have something a hell of a lot better."

"Buffy?" Angel asked hesitantly, after a moment's silence.

"Wow look at the new guy, got it in one. You see, the one thing about being me is that you learn things, you know stuff before the person who told you really has a comprehension of it and that gives me the upper hand. Or, in this case, both of us. See Angel, the council, like every other person on this earth is afraid. I mean ya, they go on with all this 'ending the war' crap but really none of it matters, the truth is they want this war to keep going, if it weren't for them it would probably be over by now. And that right there is something you're going to keep in mind for a while now, because it plays a key part in what I'm about to tell you."

Lindsay paused, taking another slug of beer.

"They tell you why you're here?" he asked, turning to the vampire once again.

"No." Angel said plainly, not knowing why that mattered.

Lindsay laughed.

"Nah, they wouldn't have told a guy like you. Too much danger. And that's really all this is about, danger- control- and power. You and I have something in common Angel, we have power over them. And I'm not talking about the demon I mean the kind they fear most- we have knowledge. I know pretty much everything anyone knows about this war, and you my friend know something too."

"And what's that?"

Lindsay shrugged.

"Well to be honest I was kinda hoping you'd tell me. You're old Angel, ancient really. But for hundreds of years you were a bystander, you didn't participate in what was going on and because of that you saw things- details, and you remember them. The council hides a lot of things, one, obviously has something to do with this war. Their goal is to stay in power, and they'll do anything to reach it. They fear what they don't understand, and when they're afraid of something they'll do one of two things: kill it, or try and control it. And that is why you're here. Somewhere inside you, whether you know about it or not, you have some knowledge that they see as a threat. I don't know a lot about what this big secret is, I discovered it just before I was fired, and I've been looking ever since. It happened a long time ago, when this war started and I donno whatever the hell it was but you were there for it and it changed the face of the world. And now they're terrified that the secret's gonna come out, which is probably the reason that they brought you here- to try and control you, keep you from saying anything."

Angel sighed,

"I still don't get it, what does any of this have to do with me? Of Buffy for that matter?"

Lindsay smiled.

"I met Buffy about five years ago, when she was hospitalized for what the council liked to call a mental breakdown. I don't know the details but at the time I was assigned to her, to make sure that she caught up on her basic attack training. Naturally I looked into her case and found something that peaked my interest. She took down three teams worth of warriors and six civilians, it took five men with tazers to finally get her down- she was fourteen at the time."

Angel sat up straighter as he heard this, more than a little disbelieving.

"As I trained with her I figured out quickly that she was guarded when it came to the accident, whenever it was brought up, there was a dark glow in her eye that I don't think she was even aware of. I trained her like I had to and told her how she could get out fast, did my job quick and painless, but after that I made sure to keep in touch with her trainer; if power like that ever came out again I wanted to know about it. Which is why I was less than surprised when I found out about the demon attack she 'saved' you from. But you know," Lindsay smirked. "This is all just pointless blab, not what you're here to know."

Angel barely suppressed the growl that erupted from him, it was nearing sunrise and he was in no mood for games.

"A few weeks ago I managed to steal some visions from one of the council's prophets. The messages were kinda scrambled but I got the main gist of it. The council's big secret- it's the answer to whatever's coming, not only that, but it has something to do with Buffy. What or how exactly I donno, but these changes that she's going through obviously play a big part here. That secret could be the beginning or end of the world, and given what I know about the council, somewhere; deep down in that soul of yours, you have the key to it. You need to research, look through anything and everything that might be relevant, do some 'soul searching' or whatever just get it done and get it done fast."

"And why the hell would I do what you say?" Angel asked, his tone challenging.

Lindsay gave him a hard look.

"I uncovered something else when I robbed the prophet's mind; when the time comes, when this end of whatever crap finally comes to a peak? Your ass is gonna be on the line, and in the end, Buffy will be the one to fall. You doing 'what the hell I say' might be the only chance she has, 'cause if we can't figure this out? Buffy is dead."

With that, Lindsay got up and left the table, leaving a shocked Angel behind.

His mind seemed to freeze up as the words reached his ears, his mouth hanging open slightly. Buffy dead… the very thought sent chills down her spine, fear quickly overtook him. His blonde beauty, full of so much life, lying dead on the ground, the mental images the words evoked were enough to make him sick.

Dazed, he somehow made his way out of the bar and across town, arriving at his apartment minutes before the sun would be up. Not bothering to get undressed, he made his way to his bedroom and sat on the edge of his bed, carefully running his hands over the silk sheets that she'd been on just few hours ago. This wasn't just dealing with an Armageddon anymore; it was something much deeper than that, something that stuck him hard. If he couldn't figure this out, if he couldn't do something right here, right now, not only could the world be changed dramatically, but Buffy would die. She would die and it would all be because he couldn't figure out the one thing that could help her; he would have killed the small blonde that he'd silently sworn to protect. The meaning of the words finally sinking in, Angel collapsed on his bed and did something that he hadn't done in as long as he could remember… he cried.

End of Chapter Nineteen.

A/N2: BEFORE ANYONE ASKS, IN THIS STORY, NO, ANGEL IS NOT SPIKE'S SIRE! Although they know each other there is no "relation" between them otherwise.