Allow Me to Live Like You
Alexnandru Van Gordon
Before I talk about the story—could anyone tell me how I write my bio? I clicked on my name just a short while ago and I didn't realize I had something of a home page. Holy crow, am I ever behind in the times—and I'm only sixteen. Also, is anyone else getting Author alerts for stories they never even read before? I keep getting all these ones from Bayblade (O.o?) and I don't even watch the show unless I happen to come across it on the television with my younger sister around. I hope she hasn't been logging onto my account…
You know what I noticed? A lot of people like Raven and they seriously like Romance themed stories. Not so much me…but you know I added romance between Robin and Starfire and I think I should let Raven show up then and again. All the Titans will be in the story at the end, so don't have a heart attack. But Robin and Slade all the way! That's my major theme…
(P.S. It has been drawn to my attention that the green Martian on the JLA team is called J'onn—not Jacque. Sorry. I always write my chapters at night and that time I drew up an agonizing blank—SORRY to a thousandfold you guys.)
DISCLAIMER: Need I say?
CHAPTER FOUR: Hold on to hate
-Ra-
She levitated in mid air with her legs crossed, the soft words of Azerath Metrion Zinthos repeated numerous times on her lips. All was quiet…too quiet. No major robberies, no murder attempts, or crazy 'take over the world plots' by a lunatic. It was so peaceful…it was actually driving her nuts. Cyborg hadn't returned since yesterday, still insisting that there had to be some sliver of evidence in that old warehouse that Slade was still alive, and there was no sign of Starfire yet. Her missing was proof enough that someone had indeed dealt with both Robin and Starfire in that warehouse—that it wasn't just Robin doing it all out of insanity.
She mentally slapped herself for ever thinking such a thing. Robin was their leader—not a psychopath like the guys he sent to jail. They should have trusted him…they should have never told Batman about what was happening…
Her communicator beeped and she answered it in a heartbeat, trying to maintain her monotone voice as she saw Cyborg's face pop up on the screen.
"I think I've found something…and you're not going to believe this at all."
"Just try me."
-C-
He shook his head, eyes wild. "I'm serious, Raven. This is something I thought I'd never come across since we saw Slade die in the lava."
"Then you've found Slade?" She inquired hopefully.
"In a manner of speaking…yes." He shivered and tried not to vomit. "I hope you have a strong stomach, Raven."
"Show me."
Taking a deep breathe, he turned his communicator around so that the screen faced his evidence. He could hear her gasp—and something glass shatter in the background.
There, propped up against the wall in a sitting position like a puppet, was Slade…or, rather, his body. His head hung forward dramatically and his suit was stained with blood on the front. He had taken a bullet wound to the chest—a clean kill if Cyborg did say so himself. Whoever had done the deed had either gotten Slade to relax in their presence, or catch him desperately off guard. The shot was perfect.
Cyborg stepped back off the pool of blood around the body. He felt like hurling, but he was even sick of another idea. What if Robin had done this?
No, he told himself. Robin was a hero and heroes didn't kill anyone not matter what the cause unless in an accident. Besides the point that someone else would die if he didn't…
Starfire.
Cyborg sized up the bloody mess and his eyes fell on a watch around Slade's left wrist. That wasn't usual—except for that time Slade was controlling the nanoprobes in the Titans' bodies.
He bent down and took it off carefully, almost afraid the guy would jump back to life and attack him. Then he stared at it long and hard before finally pushing the small red button on the left side of the digital screen. The screen showed no time—just what looked like radio waves or something along that line. But the instant he touched the button, the screen changed—
-G- (You knew I wouldn't get rid of him just yet)
Goggles over his eyes, a screwdriver in his hand, he seriously wanted to ignore that infernal beeping in the background. He told his friends he would be in Slade's old lab all day long trying to figure out the schematics to his Slade-bot prototypes, and they agreed not to bother him. Why now? There was possibly no evil villain that could defeat them now that Slade was gone…in the other dimension.
Alone with Cyborg the night of his return, the two of them concluded that he had indeed traveled to a parallel dimension. No matter how sunny shiny bright their world was—Robin's would have no such luck. They had to get Slade back before it was too late.
The beeping continued and he finally dropped his tool. Taking off the lab coat to reveal his Nightwing costume, he strode over to his watch on the next counter. His hair was still short, but now he would have the chance to grow it long. Things were really going great from him now.
Picking up the communicator/time travel watch, he pressed the small red button and yawned. "Hello?"
"Ahhhh!!!!!"
Grayson almost dropped the watch. On the screen was Cyborg—the young Cyborg from Robin's time.
But how…?
"Whoa! Calm down!" He instructed the young tin man. "How the heck did you get one of the watches?"
"Robin…Robin…Robin…" Cyborg looked like he was about to faint, stumbling over his own tongue. "You're that dude Robin was talking about in his sleep—Grayson—his future self!"
"In a way…yes… But you still haven't answered my question."
"The watch? I took it off Slade's dead body."
Grayson admired the youth's bravery for a moment before remembering the danger. "Where is his body right now?" He asked, panic rising in his chest.
"Slade? Oh, he's right—'Choke!'."
-C-
He was taken by surprise, almost jumping out of his boots when it happened. The head of the dead Slade's body suddenly lifted, the one eye opening to glare at Cyborg. Then the hand that once wore the watch shot out toward Cyborg's neck and closed around his throat. He was cut off form air after a deep intake, dropping the watch to grab the hand. But Slade was…inhumanely strong… How did Robin ever do it?
"I see you teenagers never learn…" Slade hissed fiercely. "Where's Robin?"
Cyborg couldn't answer—not that he would anyway. Robin had been through enough suffering already. It was time that someone else endured pain in his place for a while.
"Would you rather die?" Slade continued, his voice returning to that cool and calculating voice.
He would.
"Foolish child." Slade stood, still holding Cyborg by the throat. Raising his arm without much effort, he lifted the hero into the air until his feet dangled a few inches above the ground.
Dots danced across his vision as his red was slowly blinking out. He needed air desperately before he passed out—before Slade crushed his windpipe. If the villain accomplished that, it wouldn't matter if he left or not. Cyborg would still suffocate.
"Nod your head if you're willing to offer and answer to my question." Slade instructed cruelly. "Where are the two Robin's?"
-St-
Starfire woke again to the same scene she had been seeing since the night she was kidnapped. Dark room, dim light above the desk, a computer screen in the corner…that caught her attention. On the screen was Cyborg—and the older Slade.
She wasn't the only one to notice. Slade stood before the large screen with his hands behind his back, shaking his head slowly. "Should have known." He whispered. "Wouldn't go that easy myself."
Cyborg was practically dead—his human half of his face turning red. The hidden camera showed the two from a side angle, allowing Starfire to see the full horror in her robotic friend's eyes. She didn't want him to die…
"No…" She whispered around the gag, trying to say it louder. Was Slade doing this on purpose, making this whole video up to make her suffer? If he was, she wished he would stop. She wanted him to stop…
Slade heard her and spun around slowly, pushing a button on a remote to turn off the screen. "Again?" He asked. "My, aren't you a strong girl. I put you out last time not an hour ago. Having nightmares?
She was…
She did not struggled as Slade took another needle form his desk and approached her calmly. He injected her with the sleeping serum and she welcomed the sleep. Maybe she would wake up next time to discover she had been imagining it all?
-R-
Run, run, run as fast as you can…
Don't stop! He's right behind you!
Slade…
Don't look! He's reaching out to grab you!
Starfire…
"Robin!"
Starfire?
He's gonna getcha—he's gonna getcha!
Can't stop…
He's gonna getcha—he's gonna getcha!
"Please listen, Robin…"
Go on, Star.
A bloody red breast once swollen with pride—
crushed
beneath iron and stone.
Bones ache and ribs break beneath the weight.
Heart is racing with the will to fight
and yet…
it is losing.
Still—
Hope—pray!
But all could be lost to…
a bloody red breast once swollen with pride—
crushed…
beneath iron and stone.
With the suffering comes a new era,
one of new beginnings,
but only if the ribs break…
Run, Robin.
—He sat up on his bed, still dressed in his costume. He had been too exhausted to change out of it and his head was pounding. All he could think of was Starfire…his poor Starfire.
Reaching for his communicator, he halted. Where was his belt?
Panicking, he ran a hand through his hair, cold sweat running down his face and back, shivers running up and down his spine. There it was—on his desk where he put it. Look at how jumpy he was getting. It was all just a dream…just a nightmare…
Standing, he moved toward the desk and picked up his belt, opening all the compartments in search for his communicator. Then he swore—something he didn't do often. Slade had crushed it back in Jump City when they had their little 'heart-to-heart' discussion. But Beast Boy still had his.
Where was he anyway?
Leaving his bedroom and tiptoeing down the long dark halls as quietly as he could, he began his search for Beast Boy. It didn't him long to find him at a dead end, curled up in a corner asleep.
Kneeling by his green companion, he gently shook him awake. "Beast Boy? What have you been doing all along?"
Beast Boy shoved his hand away but woke with a second shake. Then he rubbed his eyes, staring at Robin with heavy eyelids. "Dude, that butler guy showed me my room and then this alarm went off. The guy left me while I was still looking around and I couldn't find the way out pf this place. I got kind of tired and just decided to crash in this corner." He yawned. "Wouldn't mind helping me, would ya?"
"Not at all." Robin whispered, keeping his voice low. He knew some of the JL was staying in the city at Bruce's manor because of all the Arkham breakouts. "Hey, but can we first call the others with your communicator? Mine's gone and I wanted to know if Starfire was found yet."
"Tried already." Beast Boy said, getting to his feet. "Sorry, but all I get is static. We must be out of range or something."
"Oh…" That killed his spirits. Maybe Batman's mega computer could send them a message. Robin linked their communicators to it incase they were ever called for back up in Gotham. Before the freaks came to town in Jump City, Gotham was the baddie central. The Titans expected to be needed at any time.
Robin said nothing else and led Beast Boy to what was supposedly his room. More like a suite. But then again, almost every room in Bruce's manor was gigantic. It was no wonder Beast Boy got lost.
After leaving his friend, Robin returned to his room. 1:00 am. There was still plenty of time to do a run-through on the city. With the Joker and the Riddler on the loose, who knew when they would strike again?
Taking a cold shower to wake himself up, Robin redressed in a clean suit and opened the window to his room. After glancing around to make sure no one was outside, he pulled out his grappling hook (I'm just going to call it that) and shot one end at the window frame. Then, adrenaline beginning to pump through his veins again, he took one step back before leaping out the window and plummeting toward the ground. He slowed his daredevil assent when he reached ten feet above the sidewalk and came to a soft thud on the ground. Pressing the button to release the grappling hook, he rewound the rope and reattached the nifty gadget to his belt, bolting off into the night.
It didn't take him long to reach down town of the city—and by then he was jumping from rooftop to rooftop, excited and free once more. It was deadly silent…almost eerie, but it brought back good memories.
He had been the first to arrive at Jump City, a full three days before any of the others were recruited and sent to aid him. This is what he did all night—soaring whenever he could. He was Robin, and he longed to fly free like his symbol. He was free…away from Batman.
He stopped short of the edge of the building and waved his arms for balance. Once he found he wasn't going to fall, he stared down at all the small flashing lights of vehicles and store signs below. Unlike Jump City, Gotham was a lively place of the future—advanced by nothing but the best…Wayne Technologies. No one slept at night, such a noisy place. But it was silent at the same time…no gunshots or screams…no begging or pleading for help…it was in good hands.
Bang!
He jumped, but it was only in his head… The Joker's gunshot, the one that almost ended Robin's life…Returning to the city brought back that bad memory…
Bang!
He was jerked back, but continued to stand. Why did he stop? The Joker was right in front of him, grinning like always. He held a gun…so? Robin had to take him down.
He took a step forward, but had to stop. He was dizzy, off balance…and numb. There was pain spreading throughout his chest, the agonizing ache centered on the left side of his chest. But what was going on? Why wasn't the Joker doing anything? Why wasn't he doing something?
The Joker stood only a few feet away, staring at his chest, and Robin felt his own eyes follow to what he saw. There was a tiny hole in the loop of his yellow 'R' and a shadow of red spread across the material of his costume. What was that supposed to mean? What was wrong with his eyes?
Maybe it wasn't his eyes.
Baffled, he raised his right hand to the tiny hole and touched the spreading shadow. Bringing his hand away from his chest, he inspected the thumb, index finger, and middle finger of his hand, rubbing them together. His green glove was stained red now at the moment.
"What…?" He asked, confused.
"Sweet dreams." The Joker mocked. What was so funny? Why was he wet and red? Why was it so cold…why was he so…numb…so…tired…
A batarang zoomed past Robin's head from behind him and stuck itself in the metal barrel of the Joker's gun. The Joker only continued to laugh. "A little late for that, eh Bats?"
Then the Joker ran, taking off into the shadows at top speed, still laughing like the maniac he was. Batman made to run after him, but he stopped to pick something up off the ground, a small letter.
Robin still didn't know what it said.
Standing only an arms length away from Batman, Robin reached out to grab his mentor's arm. He, being the nosy child he was, wanted to read the letter. Sometimes Batman would let him see some of the more important evidence, but Robin was still a little too young to understand certain... "things". Robin had been Robin since he was eight and always bugged Batman to stop treating him like such an innocent.
Why wasn't he reading it aloud?
Confused and angry, Robin became a little furious at his slow right arm. It was shaky and taking forever to grab at Batman. But he finally caught a small patch of his cape and tugged gently like the child he was.
Drip, drip, drip…
"Robin?" Batman asked softly and turned around slowly. He looked up from the letter and—
Robin could feel the warm liquid on the left side of his back too. It was spreading downwards now past his waist, already on his thigh on the front. He noticed he also got Batman's cape dirty where he grabbed it. Oh well. A costume got absolutely destroyed sometimes, torn and dirty from the more exciting battles, but Alfred seemed to have no trouble fixing them. He sometimes wondered if Alfred was human.
There he was, mind wandering as always. He was so bored.
So tired…
He began falling backwards, but Batman caught him. Robin sat on his new father's lap, held in a tight embrace as he grew even more numb. Why was he so tired? Maybe because it was past his bedtime. He'd be pretty cranky in the morning if he didn't get home soon…
Batman's embrace tightened and Robin didn't know what to do or say. It was new for him to be so close to the man, and he wanted to return the embrace…but his arms were so heavy…
"Don't die, Robin…Please don't die…"
"And I didn't…" Robin whispered to himself. He didn't die…he listened to Batman like he always did no matter how confused he was at the moment at what he had just said. Kids listened to their parents when their parents were being reasonable.
"Robin can't continue, Richard."
"Yes he can.." Robin muttered. That was unreasonable. Just one shot. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Had Batman been that naïve not to take that factor into account? Robin had always known him as a smart man, but he made Robin wonder how smart he was after that incident.
Years passed and they still failed to grow as close to each other as they had before. After those tormenting years of arguments and weak apologies, Robin left to meet his new team. The Dynamic Duo was no more.
"Why are you out alone?"
Startled, he almost fell over the edge. Luckily for him, a strong hand reached out and grabbed his right shoulder, pulling him back Or was it lucky? If the man hadn't been as quick as he was, Robin would have fallen. He had his grappling hook, of course, but Robin could just imagine hitting the ground below, more of that confusing red shadow spreading out on him and the pavement. He felt little again with someone watching over his shoulder and he didn't like it.
"I'm always out alone."
"Since when?"
"Jump City."
"You know it's not safe to go out alone."
"And yet, here I am."
And he dived forward.
Twisting around in the air, he pulled out his grappling hook and aimed it at the roof of the building across the street. With excellent aim, the hook caught hold of something and he went swinging at an angle across the street. The swing took him around the corner of the building and slowed as he came near to the brick wall.
He had to be at least thirty stories high, the wind whipping at his body. When he came into contact with the wall, it was with his feet and not too much pressure was put on his legs. Then, after he was steady, he began his assent to the top of the building, glad to be alone again.
He should have known better.
Upon reaching the top, right before he was about to flip over the edge onto the roof, Batman's hand reached down and leaned over him, grabbing his cape. In one quick motion, Robin was thrown into the air and caught by Batman, who put him down gently but kept his hands firmly on the Boy Wonder's shoulders.
"Since when do you run from me?"
"Since when do you care about me?"
He tried to turn away, but Batman kept his grip, tightening. "I don't know what's happened to you. You're so much like…"
"Like you?" He asked, venom in his voice. "Insensitive, dark, introvert, untrusting, big-headed, stubborn—did I miss anything? Yah—people change with the times. I went out on my own and learned a new position in life—how to be a leader. Do you know what it's like to be a side-kick? Have you ever been a side-kick! I know you've been a kid, and I also know you and your family lived in the old style where kids should be seen and not heard. Did you ever want to rebel?"
Batman was silent—not the answer Robin was looking for.
"Don't you think I'd care too if you were shot in the heart?" He pressed, trying to get him to talk. "But if I told you you couldn't be Batman, what would you do—ignore me? Try to make seem like I was wrong or over exaggerating? Yell? Heaven forbid you hang up the cape and cowl!"
"Calm down." Batman said in a tone of voice that almost matched Raven's. It was as if none of what Robin said was sinking in. But then it grew softer. "Robin…you know you and Alfred are the only living family I've got left. Alfred…well, Alfred is always a step ahead of the game, but you and I are stuck behind. If I lose you…I lose the last thing I'm living for."
That was deep. It was like a stake in the heart driving away all the hate. But Robin needed that hate. He needed it to continue on as the hard leader of the Teen Titans. If he grew soft…he'd never leave Gotham again.
And he didn't want his dad to see him cry…
Robin slowly walked backwards away from Batman, and the man released his shoulders.
"You're sick, Robin. You're pale."
He needed that hate to defeat Slade. He couldn't let go of it just yet. He had to hold on for a little longer…
"Perhaps another time." Robin said before turning away. He ran toward the edge of the building and jumped across to the other roof. Batman didn't follow this time and for that he was grateful.
"Hold on…" He whispered to distant figure who couldn't hear him. "Just hold on a little longer…"
-A-
I think I'm going to faint I feel so sick…
Alex: (Typing away, doesn't hear the door creak open. Someone sneaks in.)
…
Alex: (Turning around…) Huh—
Smack!!!
(Dark laughter fills the room)
-…
-Alexnandru Van Gordon