A late day haze had settled over the colony- the sun just beginning to set for the day. Colonists scrambled throughout the streets, all doing their best to get home before dark. Over the years they had been assured that the colony was safe, but ever since the war had started it'd become an almost basic instinct to stay inside after dark; always wary of those that lurked in the shadows. Other than warriors and the odd group of teenagers here and there, very few people wandered around after dark; although their knowledge of demons was less than adequate, the night always made everything so much more terrifying. The fact that something could be a mere step behind you and you couldn't see it, making most people uneasy.

When the war had started so long ago, it had been a wake up call for the world. No longer could anyone hide from the truth; or just forget that supernatural things happened. No one knew how or why the conflict even started, but the blissful ignorance that they'd lived in for so long, was shattered the day that the armies of demons waged war on the humans; and their only hope were those who they'd shunned. The only forces they had were the people who'd been called "freaks" all their lives- among them was their leader; a single girl who had the strength of a thousand men. No one knew who or what she was, but she protected them, fought to ensure none of her people were killed and drove the demon forces back. At the time, she was the strongest of her kind that had ever lived; the one who had come closest to the shadows within herself. But after nearly six months of fighting; the demons forced their fiercest warriors upon her and despite her courageous efforts, she was overpowered. She died on the battlefield, along with what humanity saw as their only hope to regain their world again; she was the first. Not the first warrior to fall at the hands of darkness; but the first that humanity had ever known about, the first that had faced the horrors that were thrown upon them, and shown the world that there was a way to win.

After she fell, a good part of the kind she'd sworn to protect followed. They didn't know what to do, frightened and confused; the world was thrown into chaos. No one was exactly sure of how many, but the human population was brutally torn away, leaving only a small fraction of their kind left. And when it became apparent that the horrors were real, and people finally began to accept their fate; they turned to the only thing they saw a chance in- the same people who had trained the only spark of hope they'd ever been shown. They were scared, and the council was once again in power.

Before long, they began to train civilians as warriors, slowly being able to fight back. Grouping everyone together in small colonies that they controlled, with promises of prevails and victory. But despite the expectations of the now- colonists, the battle didn't end. It became less extreme in some parts of the world; California (although they had the most troops on both sides) seemed to come to a kind of standstill. But even then, they weren't able to defeat the demons that had taken over their world and their lives. And the council tore away their last hopes; with the news that another like the girl who'd saved all their lives, would never be able to exist again. That all those who could have taken the power were killed, and as a result; that same power had died with her.

Since that day, the colonists haven't had any trust in the conflict coming to an end. No one dared to hope anymore, it seemed that every time they did something would go wrong. To them, all chance of winning was lost- and no one would ever be able to make a difference.

Little did they know; in the middle of their main colony, sitting together at a metal table, slouching over books, were four outcasts- trying to do just that. Unlikely candidates, who weren't trying to be heroes, but make a difference and find their place in the world.

&&&

Buffy sighed as she did her best to concentrate on the pages before her. Ever since their visit with Lindsay, she and Angel had been dragged into so many research parties that she began to wonder if there was ever going to be an end. It seemed like every time they came close to a clue it just blew up in their faces, and every time the pile of books was almost gone more would appear from the stacks. The faster they finished reading, the faster the nightmare of books would be over.

Unfortunately, demons were far from her mind at the moment. Unless of course, you count her own.

Despite Angel's reassurances and comforting embrace (as she, like this morning, was still seated contentedly on his lap), she couldn't help her fear and nervousness for the duty that the council had bestowed on her shoulders. After reading the 'manual' they gave her, she found that her restrictions were minimal, however it was enforced several times that she still must follow the council's orders. Her duties were as she'd been told, as they were to contact her if they needed her help, and although it still surprised and frightened her, she was somewhat glad of her new level; not wanting to have to deal with Riley or any other (formerly) senior officers and their taunting. She had always kept to herself (well, over the past few years at least), and after word of her breakdown got out, they all looked at her strangely. And when she was one of the last to be put on active duty, they seemed to form into two categories; those who didn't care about her and thought they were better than a mere "trainee", and those who looked at her as a small child (and treated her much the same). Usually it was bearable, sometimes it hurt, most of the time though, it just pissed her off.

As for the "classified" section of the report, it did prove to help out some. It had some slight references to the types and numbers of demons that the council knows are sneaking in, as well as the suspicions they had of the "underground -demon/human- rebel society" (URS for short). Luckily, their assumptions weren't near enough to be worried about, however Buffy agreed to take the info to Lindsay sometime soon (and as it came in); not noticing the slight change in Angel's demeanour at the mention of the name.

Across from her, she heard Tara let out a sigh of annoyance; looking through the largely accumulated stack of books on the ground. Giving up, she looked to her surrogate father who had also turned at her near-growling.

"Giles, do you know where that comparative book on Latin and Demon cultures are? I know I saw it but not it's just gone." She said, frowning slightly.

Giles thought for a moment,

"Yes, I believe I saw it up in the stacks somewhere last week; after we finished shelving the finished copies. That's all I can remember."

"Actually," Angel spoke up, "I think I saw that one last night. I'm not totally sure, but I could help you look if you'd like."

Tara smiled warmly at him.

"Thanks, that'd be great… that is if it's alright with Buffy." She said, smirking at her sister's unmoving position.

"What? Oh, ya sure." She said, Angel's slight nudge pulling her from her thoughts.

Buffy quickly stood up and allowed Angel to follow suit, giving him a sound kiss and lingering for a few extra moments to indulge in his presence. Smirking, (and looking a bit sheepish at the same time; obviously not used to "PDA") he nodded to one of the upper levels, leading Tara up and out of sight.

Sighing, Buffy sat back down in the chair; noting how much larger it was without Angel. That was one thing she'd really noticed about him the last little while; how, while he was a tall man, he seemed to fill up the room when he entered, more with his presence than anything. It almost radiated some of his stronger traits; those that were no doubt from his long and not-so-easy existence. Confidence, passion, and some weird form of dominance were the most heavy; ones that although he was aware of carrying, he had no idea were so strong on him. It was one of the things that had pulled her to him that first time they saw one another; his confidence alone, mixed with that more dangerous and animalistic side of him was more than a little tempting. Something that had opened her up like a book, and although (to the casual observer) would seem almost opposite to his persona, were no doubt there.

Unfortunately, it also left a stubborn streak larger than Riley's ego.

Noting that the two were finally out of earshot; Buffy looked up at her trainer, a bored and somewhat guarded expression crossing her face.

"Hey Giles?"

"Hm?" he said, looking up at her intently.

"Just out of curiosity, did you get any sleep last night?"

Giles looked confused for a second, before a smile crossed his features.

"Yes, I managed to get in a few hours. Given, they were seated in my office chair; in a rather uncomfortable position, but sleep all the same."

Buffy laughed lightly, putting down her book for a moment.

"And so you were here, when Angel came in right?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

Giles quirked an eyebrow at her, obviously seeing through her efforts.

"Yes. And if there is something you want to ask me, please do so. I'm much to old to be beating around the bush like this."

Buffy sighed, didn't Angel say something similar to that not so long ago?

"It's Angel." She said, noticing the unsurprised look on Giles' face. "It's just- I know something's up with him Giles. Something big, that's bothering him to put it mildly, and he won't tell me what it is. And I know if he won't tell me now, he's just going to dodge the subject later; and I don't know how to even reassure him if he won't tell me what the heck is making him so upset!"

Giles sighed, giving her a fatherly look.

"Angel is just worried right now; and even having you here, around him is going to be more than enough reassurance for the time being. You need not bother with it Buffy. But, if you really want to know something I suggest you ask him. I know you're still hesitant about asking questions, but there is nothing wrong with that. And I'm sure that if you do, Angel will be more than happy to answer them for you, or at least provide some kind of explanation."

Buffy nodded, knowing that Giles wasn't about to tell her anything more on the matter.

"Speaking of which," Giles said, his face taking on a look of seriousness, "There is something I've been meaning to discuss with you. And, as much as I was praying that I would never have to, it would seem time for me to stop being 'avoidy' as well."

Buffy's brow scrunched in confusion.

"What is it?"

"It seems to have become apparent that you and Angel have chosen to pursue a… romantic relationship. Now, I don't need, nor particularly want details as to how far it has gone so far, but it's obvious that the two of you are close- emotionally if nothing else. I want to be sure that you're… careful in your actions with him."

"Giles, you don't have to worry, really. Angel's so careful, he would never hurt me; treats me more like glass most of the time."

Giles sighed, mentally cursing the hint Buffy didn't pick up.

"He may not be able to get you pregnant Buffy, but sex still has significant consequences."

Buffy's eyes widened, her mouth forming a little "o" as her face quickly grew red.

"Oh, we- I mean we didn't… I…it's just I… we haven't really talked about…"

"Well then I suggest that you do. Quite frankly, the very idea makes me uncomfortable on more levels than I care to admit; but I'm not as oblivious as you may think. I know that it happens, and I would much rather live in reality instead of some unrealistic lala land where you're going to be my little girl for all eternity. Yes, casual sex happens; but when you're in a relationship, and decide to give yourself to that person… it's more a gift than anything else. I just want you to promise me that you'll be careful; and I'm not just talking about on the physical level. And that you'll only do as much as you're ready for, when you're ready for it. I have taken some liking to Angel, and it would be a shame for me to be forced to castrate him and throw him into the daylight, if you ended up hurt because of something that you weren't ready for in the first place."

Buffy smiled, a small tear coming to her eye. She wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or touched by his words, it was perhaps the most fatherly thing he'd ever done (despite how much he obviously hated the very thought of doing so).

"I promise."

"Thank you. And… if you ever have any- questions, you may- well come to me about them and I'll try to answer them for you." He said, the last bit in so much of a rush, Buffy wasn't sure if she'd heard him right.

"I'll remember that, and thank you. For the parental-talk, I'll definitely keep it in mind… in other words, I get it- it's over."

Giles let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank god."

"That bad?"

Giles gave her a stern look.

"I would rather bathe in a pit of hot tar before doing that ever again."

Buffy laughed and shook her head and turned back to her opened book, considering Giles' words. It was something that hadn't even been vaguely mentioned, well unless you count that one time, but that was before Buffy and Angel became Buffy and Angel, and it was just joking around. Her mind flashed back to Faith calling her a "virgin mary", as much as she'd hated to admit it, that statement wasn't far from the truth. Sex was something she'd only ever talked to Tara about, Faith had just picked up on it one day while training; calling it a sixth sense (which of course, Gunn had awoken just in time to hear). It wasn't like she was totally ashamed of it or anything, but there was a certain embarrassment level that came along with it; the fact that she, unlike most of the people she knew her age, had yet to take that "next step" (or the couple that came before it). Her mind briefly wandered to Angel, would he be able to tell? He was three hundred years old after all, even just one woman every couple years… that's more experience than Buffy wanted to do the math for. She couldn't help but feel a little intimidated by the fact, a part of her wondering how on earth she would be able to "live up" to that.

Sighing, she shook her head. The thought of being with him like that, both frightened and thrilled her. She had a mess-load of insecurities and second-guesses, but underneath all that was a burning desire that she couldn't ignore. He was, to put it mildly, attractive, and sometimes when he'd look at her with that heated gaze she couldn't help the feelings he invoked. Especially when they were training, and he'd get all hot and shirtless and most of the time end up on top of her and even a glance would send shivers down her spine and….

She was snapped from her thoughts when Tara came back down the steps, a successful look on her face and a book under her arm, the hottie in question following close behind. When he turned to her with a smile, Buffy couldn't help the deep blush that returned to her face, quickly standing up so he could sit down. Taking the offered seat, he pulled her down with him so she was once again seated on his lap, holding her close; he gave her a strange look when she wouldn't meet his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his questioning eyes finally meeting her own.

"Nothing, why?" Buffy answered, a bit too quickly.

"Mostly the part where Giles looks like he's about to stake me, and you've turned a beautiful but oddly dark shade of red."

If possible, Buffy blushed further, biting her lip slightly.

"Nothing, we were just talking."

"About…?"

"Nothing important."

Angel rose an eyebrow, often when someone said "nothing" three times in a row, it was obviously something; something that he could tell was bothering her in more than one way.

"Talk later." He said quietly, before giving her a quick kiss and smilingly returned to his forgotten book.

Inwardly Buffy groaned, hoping that she would be able to put it off for the time being; but if not, she could always turn his own words against him to find out his annoyingly well-guarded secret. Smiling slightly at that, she looked to the clock and noticed it was well after dark, this day was getting better and better.

"Giles?" she called, as the trainer looked up at her expectantly, "You wouldn't mind if Angel and I ran off on patrol would ya?"

Giles shrugged,

"Of course not. After all, it is your duty now I suppose."

Buffy smiled, hopping out of the chair and dragging a bemused Angel along with her towards the door. She stopped slightly at Giles' stern gaze, and the loaded words that soon followed.

"Be careful." He said pointedly, glaring at Angel for a moment before raising an eyebrow.

Buffy flushed slightly and quickly pulled Angel through the door, muttering a quick 'okay' as she went. Angel's brow scrunched in confusion; he suddenly having the odd feeling that he'd missed something.

The two walked hand in hand through the main street of the colony, their footsteps the only sound on the deserted road. They were both too engrossed in their thoughts and worries to speak; their enfolded hands acting like an anchor to each other, a reassurance that they were still there.

Between everything with the council and now Giles' advice, Buffy couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. Like she had gone from twenty to thirty-five in a few hours, and she had the incredible urge to run and hide until she was long forgotten to the world. Glancing at Angel, she wondered how he'd react to her and Giles' discussion when (and if) she told him. He, bring the chivalrous man that he is, would understand Giles' responsibility to have 'the talk', but as to how he'd react to it in general, and Buffy's feelings about it, were an entirely different story. She was still trying to get used to the fact that he wanted to be with her at all, and now that sex had been thrown into the picture, it was just so far from everything she'd been taught through her training; that he may not mind her initiating stuff, and that he might want her at all… like that. Just two of the things that had been drilled into her mind; why it had affected her like that she wasn't positive, but for so long she had concentrated solely on her studies, it would only make sense that some of the social aspects would have leaked through as well.

Angel, meanwhile, was torn between agonizing over Lindsay's words, and trying to figure out what had happened while he and Tara were in the stacks. He and the brunette had talked briefly while searching the nearly endless shelves, making small talk mostly. She had said how "cute" he and Buffy were together, and that she was glad he had come along when he did, but when he asked why she just stopped and shrugged, saying she just was. And then coming back to see Buffy that embarrassed, and Giles looking about ready to murder him… well he and Buffy seriously needed a nice long talk. He mentally berated himself at the thought; here he was going on about her keeping things from him, when he had done the same just a few hours before.

Stopping, he turned to Buffy and stopped walking, holding her loosely by the shoulders.

"Am I the only one who feels like, I'm walking through a maze blind?" He said softly, pulling a stray strand of hair from her face.

Buffy laughed softly, shaking her head.

"I'd go more with swimming in old baggage in this case."

Angel nodded, mentally noting the 'baggage' part of that.

"We should probably talk, about everything… that we both know we aren't saying."

"Yeah, we really should. But, you think I could con you into a kiss first? You know, before the angst-fest?"

They both smiled, neither in the mood for a heavy-duty discussion right about now. Leaning in, Angel brushed his lips against hers in a slow, soft kiss, each exploring the feel of each other for what seems the zillionth and the first time. Without thinking, Buffy quickly moved her arms around him and pulled him closer; their kiss rapidly becoming heavier, arms tangling in a fever of passion. Both had so many doubts on their minds- it was like they needed this, the reassurance that the other was there, as well as the safety of being in the others arms. Their doubts and protests were quickly washed away, neither having the will or the want to stop it.

Swooping his head down, Angel rained open-mouth kisses down her neck, gently nipping and sucking when he reached her jugular. Buffy shut her eyes tightly, unable to suppress the small moan that erupted from her. Her instincts were screaming at her to pull away, but at the same time to hold him to her and refuse to let go until the fire within her was put out. Angel gently backed her against a nearby wall, she only became slightly aware of it when her back hit the cool stone. She quickly slipped her hands under the silk of his shirt, running her palms against his strong, cool, chest. Leaning down she returned her lips to his, craving the taste of him.

Suddenly, Buffy felt Angel being thrown off her, nearly falling over at the unexpected loss of contact. Before she had a chance to react, she felt herself being thrown through the street, finding herself in a dark alleyway when she finally opened her eyes. Standing up, she barely managed to dodge her attacker as he charged towards her, another female close behind. With a quick glance to Angel, she saw that he too hand his hands full with a hefty looking guy. As the girl (vampire, as she managed to deduct), came at her again she kicked out, sending her flying into the wall. Turning, she knocked the other to the ground, scrambling to find a stake. Just as she spotted one near the mouth of the alley, one of them (the stronger of the two) grabbed her from behind, the other kicking her hard in the gut and sending her sprawling to the ground. As the other ran towards the street (and what Buffy could only hope was Angel), the other pinned her down, smirking triumphantly as she struggled fruitlessly, his weight too much for her to throw in her pained (and still semi-dazed) state. His game face in full play, he bent down and pulled her roughly to him, she cringed as she felt his sharp fangs against her neck, struggling once again in false hope. She felt the pressure increase and held her breath, knowing what was to come.

Then the vamp pulled back, letting out a howl of agony. Buffy looked up just in time to see the wooden stake plunge through his chest, before he crumbled to dust to reveal Angel, with the stake in question (and the other vamps nowhere in sight).

He reached down to help her up, but she quickly backed away, an unconscious reaction to not who, but what she saw. He was standing over her; completely vamped out, his ember eyes and fangs plain in sight, and the previously hidden ridges now uncovered. Anger was evident on his features, power and dominance rolling off him in waves. When she pulled away, a hurt and confused look crossed his eyes, it didn't last long though; it was quickly replaced with guilt and shame as he looked away. She flashed back to her first experience with a vampire, how much rage and hate she had always held for that face, the one that revealed the demon within. It had always frightened her more than most demons, brought forth unwanted memories of grief that made her burn with anger. She had only seen Angel like this once before, and she was too dazed to really recall it (or comprehend it was even there). But now, it was so vivid; the face that she'd always resented on the man she'd grown to love.

Staring at his face as best she could in the dimmed light, she studied him. It was so different this time though, there were the demonic features, only they seemed softer somehow- more human. His ember eyes were filled with guilt and sorrow and soul; things that the cold eyes of other vampires always lacked. What she felt when she stared at him wasn't so much anger, but love, confusion, and (despite her mind's protests) an odd form of arousal. Not majorly so, bit it was no doubt there, the dominating power that was now evident something that the darker part of her longed for. It was a little surreal, and a lot unexpected.

Slowly standing up, she continued to stare at him, taking in what she saw. Angel refused to meet her eyes, obviously ashamed that she had to see him like this. It was the part of him that he'd done his best to keep hidden; the rest of the world could see him like this and cower in horror for all he cared, but seeing her afraid of him, it hit him harder than he liked. But no matter how hard he tried, with the chaos of emotions that seemed to wash through him after piling up for the last two days, he was unable to suppress it.

Buffy gazed at him for a few more moments, before a spark of understanding dawned within her. This wasn't a vampire she was staring at, or a human; it was Angel, plain and simple. There was nothing more to it. This was the same man that had touched her on so many levels, who, even in his vamped state, she could still feel that small connection with running through her soul. The one that she would without question give her life for, a thousand times over if she had to.

Gingerly, she stepped closer and reached up, surprising him as she touched his brow. His eyes snapped to hers in question, perplexed by her actions. Softly and carefully, she ran her hands down his face, slowly tracing the prominent ridges and sharp teeth. Staring up at him, she felt something she hadn't felt around a vampire before, safety and a sense of peace. Like she'd finally been able to grasp something about them that she'd been without for years. Giving him the smallest of smiles, she ran her palm down his face, watching as he closed his eyes briefly in relief, before meeting her own once again.

"Beautiful." She murmured, her eyes becoming glossy with tears.

Angel's own eyes teared up in disbelief, almost unable to grasp what he was hearing.

With a laugh, Buffy launched herself into his arms, holding him to her tightly as small, joyous tears ran down her cheeks. She didn't know why or how, but somehow, for the moment at least, she felt freer than ever. Like just for now, this moment in time, nothing in the world could destroy the relief that was flowing through her. The fear that she finally had a grasp on, and might be able to get over, didn't seem so big now. She knew her contentment would be short-lived, but for now it was one small (but at the same time giant) step forward. One that made this unbearable amount of baggage that small bit more bearable.

Angel couldn't believe what he was seeing; he hadn't ever dared to hope that she would accept him like this, ever. He felt so undeserving of her friendship as it is, but now, he felt more undeserving than ever.

Even so, at the same time, he could feel more relief pouring through him than he thought possible. He found himself almost enthralled in it; he didn't notice the silent tears slowly trickling down his face, or how impossibly close he was holding her. Maybe those big steps in a relationship aren't always as obvious as they seem. Maybe sometimes, it's the important ones that lie buried.

End of Chapter Twenty One.