(Hobbes finds a black chair in the Know Your Calvins studio. He sits in it)
Voice: Know your Calvins, know your Calvins, know your Calvins, know your Calvins. Hobbes... he love his tuna fish dipped in hot fudge.
(The audience laughs)
Hobbes: I guess you're mistaken, sir, but I don't like my tuna fish dipped in hot fudge.
Voice: Then you hate tuna fish.
(The audience laughs harder)
Hobbes: Then why do I eat it all the time?
Voice: That was just another tiger in disguise.
Hobbes: Don't make my temper rise.
Voice: Hobbes... he secretly hates Calvin.
Hobbes: Did you do that on Calvin?
Voice: Ooooooh, silly me. Yes I did. Hobbes... he doesn't pounce on Calvin anymore.
(The audience cracks up)
Hobbes: What? I still do it! Who told you that?
Voice: Calvin did.
Hobbes: I'd eat him if he did, and save his then clean bones for natural resources.
Voice: That's disgusting.
Hobbes: I don't believe you and your "Calvin told me that" lie!
Voice: Hobbes... he loves Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs.
(The audience dies with laughter)
Hobbes: WHAT? I DON'T LIKE YOU AND CHOCOLATE FROSTED SUGAR BOMBS! LIAR!
Voice: Now you know... Hobbes... a tuna fish hater, who doesn't pounce on Calvin anymore, loves Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, and says I'm a liar when I'm really saying the truth.
Hobbes: YOU REALLY ARE A LIAR!
(No response)
Hobbes: HEY! WHERE ARE YOU? COME BACK HERE BEFORE I ATTACK YOU LIKE ON WHEN CALVIN AND HOBBES ATTACK!
(Still no response)
Hobbes: ARRRRRRRRRGH! I'M GOING AWAY! YOU SHOULD BE FIRED!
(Hobbes marches out of the studio. The voice guy looks at his monthly planner)
Voice: Next up: Susie.