AN: Well, now that Vegeta's moved onto another plane, time to look at everyone else. This is Goku's chapter! And this one might need tissues.
Onto replies!
Dragon'slair; Welcome back! I'll take down your email addy, and I'll send you a few pieces I'm on! Thanks for the offer, and let me know if any ideas leap into your mind! I also have my anti-Goku moments, but they usually pass fairly quickly. He's not all that bad.
Omnimalevolent: Oh well. Sorry. I'm not even going to get started. I'm so tired of defending myself from you. Glad you at least liked the shonen-ai.
Spruceton Spook: Your reviews are always right next Omnimalevolent's and thank god for that because you love my work and you remind me I'm not shit! I'm so glad you liked it…poor Trunks. Here's Vegeta's goodbye, in a way. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO WONDERFUL! (gushes with happy anime tears)
…
Its been a very long week at work.
M-Python Girl: Sorry.
Chuquita: Wow! This must be the longest review ever! Joy!
Thanks for pointing out the underlines; I never check the stories once they are online and now I'm feeling like a real baka. (slaps forehead) But hopefully, its much easier to read now that I've changed it. Stupid and its devious destruction of symbols and spacing. (throttles then jumps up and down on its back) STUPID WEBSITE!
Wish I had my own place to post…
Strangely enough, it works out cheaper to buy anime here than the manga series (over the long run). In America, the Tokyo Pop translated manga is 10 dollars. However, I pay 15 dollars for the same manga! Damn, but import taxes suck. To buy a perfect collection DVD set, which means little to no extras, and all the disks are in one thin case (but this is pure, uncut Japanese import) costs me R450, more or less, for 26 or 27 episodes. About three disks. Most series fit into one of these. Dbz has ten volumes of three disks and I only have volumes 8 and 9. Case study: To buy the complete Dragonball manga would cost me 42 X 15 dollars is a massive 630 dollars! But to buy the anime series would only cost me 75 dollars. Gotta look at the trade-off.
Yes, I live in a developing country. That's why it costs me six rand to a dollar. Sheesh. Not only that, but our anime selection isn't as big as I'd like it to be! Waaah! But I know what you mean. Once off, a manga is cheaper, but to amass a collection is incredibly expensive. Few mangas run in small series. Love Hina is only fourteen volumes but Dbz is 50! Yeah, sure, like I'll ever be able to get the whole thing. Sad thing is, the anime and manga often differ hectically and its nice to have both so it comes down to either:
A: selling a kidney (its possible to live with just one)
B: downloading scans
C: marrying a fellow otaku with a huge bank account and generous heart.
Since option B is the only feasible one, it'll have to do. But fan subs are generally badly done, with grammar to make anyone cringe. Pity.
Whew. Got carried away there.
Not that one would admit this in polite company but I was (and still am) a huge fan of the Yu-gi-Oh card game! It's incredibly tactical but, as with everything else involving manga, an expensive little hobby. Hell, my art stuff is expensive too! Why can't I have a cheap hobby, like buying islands! Anime, manga and art is killing my cash. But heck, I love it. I never really liked Pokemon, but I played it on my brother's gameboy (shame, he likes Nintendo. Sony is the way) and got hooked. The series got on my nerves though.
Veggie swooping in! The Masked Avenger! All kids have their superhero personalities and I think you chose a great one for chibi Veggie! Of course, when I was a chibi (and man, was I small back then) it was Ninja Turtles! I come from the old school of cartoons and animation. I find that the cartoon network cartoons, while still being good, can't touch the original Ninja Turtles series, nor Spiderman, Batman, all that jazz. I also love old school anime; Fist of the Northern Star, Ninja Scroll, Golden Boy, DB and Dbz and who can forget Evangelion, which I consider the last of old school and beginning of New School. (fondly reminisces) I miss Saturday morning 'toons. I work now. Not so much fun anymore.
But there's always Varsity! Whoo hoo! Three years of being unemployed!
I think it's appropriate that you put the seme/uke thing for Veggietines day! Turles must return with the Mistletoe of Mischief! Bwahahahaha!
And, appropriately, the longest review of all time gets the longest reply. Glad you liked the chapter so!
Lenora: Ah ha! So I still have the old knack! (hands over box of tissues) Sorry 'bout that. Here you go!
BlackDragonSoul: (nudges Vegeta over to Lauren) Go on, hug her! Make her feel better! And don't give me that look, buddy boy, or I'll make sure you never ever see your Kakarot again! (wields author wand)
Yami Persephone: Ah, there's nothing wrong about being sentimental about fiction. I've bawled buckets over the good stuff myself. Ain't no shame in that! I decided that they wouldn't tell the wives because they weren't going to be together much longer and there was no point in compounding the grief soon to come. At least, that's Vegeta's thinking. I guess it would take a sequel to sort that out, but I'm not planning one sooo…you'll have to see what I do with the epilogue.
(peers at rabid plot bunnies in cage)
Is that really a good idea? (whips out Bunny-repel spray) Ahem. Using a patented Chuquita method, I'll just have to keep the little buggers off me until I finish all my stories! Woe is me and my hellish imagination! (douses self with spray, sprays muses for good measure)
John Perry: Oh, I saw those tears! And real men cry! Vegeta is secre enough with who is to cry! The damn bastard made me cry when he died both times. (eyes Vegeta)
Vegeta: What did I do?
(divebombs him)
Veggie so warm…
What's good for the gander is good for the goose, or something to those lines. Yup, just as men love girl on girl action, we love boy on boy action! Like a get two for the price of one thing, innit? Well, if I ever wrote yuri, you'll the first on my list for help. Don't know who I'd write…it would probably be Rei and Asuka from Evangelion. Nice thing about Dbz is that it's a male centred anime with little to no romance! Whoo hoo! Better than those damn harem animes, you know. Like Love Hina and that jazz.
(shrugs)
But I don't really think I could find a pair of girls in anime I'd really, really like to write about. I thought it would be kind of me to put in the warnings but I had to change them because I think that's the reason why that whole chapter was underlined! My poor reviewers' eyes…
Wildgirlxyz3: Um…sorry about that…but hey, if you're getting used to the idea, maybe I can bring you to the dark side!
"Come to the dark side, lackey! It's FUN!" – Turles, Chuquita universe
Ah, its okay if you'll forgive me. I just didn't want a clichéd story and its been hard to stick to my guns on this one, what with all the pleas to let Vegeta live. The thing about yaoi and shoen-ai is that it has to be done tastefully, and the same applies to normal hetro stuff. I've read the most revolting Bulma/Vegeta stories (at one stage I was obsessed) and the same goes for yaoi. It just takes one good story to change one's mind. The first good yaoi story I read was by Vege-chan. Then I read Camaro's Monster which seriously twists your mind and it feels like you can't get enough. She breaks every single rule and is so bold but you have to be open-minded about it. My top favourite author…cannot be named, because the other three would poison my coffee! Not that any of them live near me at all, sadly. I've mentioned before who they are, and it just takes a little getting used to. Yaoi story lines can be beautiful, often better than your average hetro get together because there are so many factors involved.
I should know. I've written an assload of them. (smirks) If you'd like to see them, you can find the unknown ones on Clarobell's site. I'll put it on my bio so that you can find me!
I'm very sorry to hear about your brother, and I can't say anything really meaningful having never lost a sibling (touch wood) but I don't mind hearing it at all. I hope that you'll always have peace, and I can't say more than that.
J-Girl: Always a case of 'too late' with Goku, ne? Thank you for enjoying the chapter so: two more to go.
Clarobell: (hands over another box of tissues from indefatigable supply) Who doesn't secretly love a death scene? I'm not fussy about format as long as its readable. But I'll go back and have a look. I just skimmed over the page with the links to make sure you had all the stories. I've got another two or three to send you now that I've worked out all the kinks. So, you'll probably hear from me later in the week, ne?
And in closing from me
Alright, so has erased all my super huge gaps, my asterisks, my format and whatnot. WHY, DAMMIT, WHY!
Anyway, moving swiftly along…I'll be going away at the end of October until the 12th to ITALY! Hooray!
Brolly: We're going to eat the best food in the world!
Zo; No, we're not. With your appetite, we'll be flat broke in a day and then I won't be able to buy myself stuff! So…we're going to hijack the restaurants!
Just kidding. So I'll be away for two weeks; hopefully the change of scenery will inspire me. When I get back, I'll probably start posting again, although what, I don't know. I'm doing a collaboration work as well several others. Don't worry: I'll keep the shonen-ai toned down, but maybe I'll convince a few of you to come to the dark side! If I can't post a whole story (and I only post a story when its complete so that I can update regularly instead of having super huge gaps and feeling pressured into completing one and then its crap) I'll post all my one-shots and short pieces. We'll have to see how it goes.
Well, see you next week!
With warmest insanity,
Zogeta, Brolly and Guybrush
Chapter Sixteen:
Letters from lovers
I'm reluctant to leave Vegeta-sei. It feels like Vegeta's spirit lingers here and that there's nothing of him back on Earth. But my family feels no such attachment and it would be unfair to expect them to stay here. Chichi says that I can come here whenever I like, and I'm grateful she understands. For all her flaws, Chichi does understand what sorrow feels like.
After all…I've died twice and she's had Gohan 'die' on her once.
When I wished the planet back, I asked Shenron to make an energy beacon for me to follow, one that felt like Vegeta's ki. In a way, now I can sort of feel him around and it provides a measure of comfort. Almost like I can teleport here and find him on the beach wriggling his toes in the sand or letting the waves break over him in an ocean that has no salt.
Now, on my lap I have a letter. Bulma gave it to me, and then left me to read it. On the front of the envelope my Saiyan name is curled out in elegant copperplate handwriting. I slide my finger under the flap at the back, slightly nervous. I take out the sheets of paper, unfold them and settle to read, the crashing waves in the background almost muting as I take in the neat cursive.
Kakarot
If you are reading this letter, then I have passed on to Otherworld.
I'm not good with words, so I'll just say this as best I can.
I'm guessing that you're probably quite pissed at me for not telling you about my heart problem. By now, you've doubtless surmised that it was a very bad idea to take you training, and in theory, it wasn't the best thing for my health.
But I don't regret doing it at all. I might have been unwilling at the start and put off by your reluctance, but know that I did enjoy our time together. Although I might have taught you something, you also taught me a few things I needed to know. Namely, that I'm not as bad as I think myself to be…and that there's nothing wrong with being 'a nice guy'.
It's a pity that I waited so long to get to know you. I feel that I have missed out on so much by refusing to acknowledge you as anything other than my fiercest rival. What a fool I was. Still am, really. The 'great' Prince Vegeta learning from a supposed third class. But you're only third class by birth, Kakarot. I would have been honoured to have you as one of my very own elites.
Can you forgive an old warrior his pride?
I'm sorry, Kakarot, that I will not get to see you grow in power and strength, nor will I watch my son go through the teenage years, discovering girls and hormones. I can only watch from Otherworld, and be a distant daddy and mentor. If there had been anything in my power to make it possible, I would have stayed. But this is my fate and I can only accept it.
Thank you for your determination over all the years, for still having faith in me when I was Majin, forgiving me when I committed so many wrongs and showing me mercy when no one else would. And thank you for showing me that even bastards like me can change. I owe you more than I can repay and I hope that my death doesn't dishearten you. Please keep training and getting stronger. You were the best pupil anyone could have asked for and I know that the Universe will be safe in your gentle hands.
I'll keep all the good memories with me and especially of those times like the tail tug-of-war, and with the fish, and the guntaz barbeques. We had some good times on that trip, didn't we? You always did manage to make my smirk slip into a smile. Rare gift, that.
Well, Kakarot, I've come to the end of my long, hard road. I get a little weaker every day and a little closer to Snake Way. Stay strong and look after everyone after I go. Not that I ever played a major role in looking after the Earth, but I hope that my lessons have benefited you in some way. Sorry about kidnapping you, but I made sure to clear it with Chichi first; didn't want to get you into any more trouble. And sorry about the drugging and all that, but it all turned out okay. You have a habit of making things work.
Oh, and about our relationship as it stands now.
This last week has been…wonderful. Not only have I had my home planet returned to me, but I found the person I'd been looking for, even if I didn't know I was searching. I regret not realising it sooner and I'm sorry that I must leave you like this. We tried everything to avoid my death, we wanted to cheat it, but there was nothing to be done. And I wish we could have gone further. We would have had an amazing bond as mates, I just know it. This, perhaps, is the greatest pinnacle I've reached in my life; having you as my own, even if it was for just a week.
But, Kakarot, one day you'll move to Otherworld, and we can pick up where we left off. I think though that if I hadn't had my heart problem, which prompted me to train you, our brief relationship might never have happened. I'd rather have this ending than living for decades unaware of what we could have achieved together. And, Kakarot, you're worth the pain and sweat and tears I've been through to get to this point. I believe in Fate and although it can be a bitch sometimes, it brought us together and I can't ask for more than that.
I will never forget you, and even if I were sent to Hell without my body and memories, I'd probably still recognise you again…even though you wouldn't be able to tell me from another spirit cloud. Never forget that I'm watching you always, and that you granted me the heights of happiness. You were one of the major catalysts in my life and I will forever treasure our short time as lovers…and as friends.
You make me proud, Kakarot. So very proud.
Vegeta
My tears drop onto the letter in my shaking hands and I move the paper out of the way, even though I make no move to wipe away my tears. In a way, this grants me some sort of closure, just to know what was on Vegeta's mind the night he died. Now I understand why that last kiss goodnight was so…desperate. I remember trying to describe it, and now it makes sense. He just wanted to say goodbye without clueing me in.
Two months ago, I wouldn't have been so broken if Vegeta had died. I would have been shocked, and maybe a little saddened, but I wouldn't have been torn down to the core like I am now. Right now, I'm sort of…empty.
It's been only three days, but it feels like eternity.
I think about the little things…like how he loved raspberry juice. How he smelt after a shower, or after a spar. The way he comforted me when I was sick. His habit of picking the raisins out of his snack bar. How he would tease me. The way his hand would rest on my hip when we kissed.
And the big things. Like sacrificing himself to kill Buu. How he defended me while we fought that brat Buu. His need and want to make me stronger by training me.
The best sensei I ever had. The most dedicated rival I've ever had. He was so much to me, influenced my life in so many ways…and now all I have left are memories and a few mementos.
I can't just grin and get over it, and when I get back to Earth, that is what my other friends will expect of me. Bulma and Trunks understand what it feels like; they will empathise with me, as I do them. In a way, we can support each other.
It has occurred to me to use instant transmission to visit him in Heaven…but I fear that I will not want to leave if I do go see him. That I'll want to stay in Heaven and abandon my family on Earth. I have to be strong. I'll keep up my training, because it'll keep me focused, and also because I promised him I would. I'll take my sons training, so that they can look after Earth when I leave. I'll try to keep busy…enter martial arts tournaments, bring home cash so Chichi doesn't have to worry.
Vegeta admires strength, and I don't wish to disappoint him. Although my ideal world would involve waking up next to him every morning and smelling that scent and touching his skin, I can't have it now.
I crack a small smile. One day, we can stay on Grand Kai's planet and annoy King Kai for eternity. Train and spar just for the hell of it, and not because of a threat.
That's something worth aiming for. It'll be hard, I know. I'll go through stages and days and get angry and depressed. I'll want to hunt him down and punch him so hard that his teeth fall out because I miss him and blame him for leaving me. I'll feel lost and sad for a while, for maybe more than months. But as Gohan says, I'll keep getting up. As Vegeta said, we fall so that we learn how to pick ourselves up.
This isn't the first time I've been separated from a loved one, but this is the first time it hasn't been my choice to say goodbye. Now I know what my family went through when I chose to stay away. How could I have been so cruel? I won't do it again, knowing what it feels like. After my absences, the least I can do is stay here until I'm the last.
And then…well, when I get to Heaven, it'll be all the more rewarding for the wait.
I stand and look over the beach, over the sea one more time. I'll be back for the occasional visit, for those days when I feel Vegeta's absence a little more. Such a rich, vibrant planet, even though there are no Saiyans on it. I walk back up to the castle, the tall spires stretching into the sky. I look at the spire where I made my promise to the man who did funny things to my heart whenever he was around.
Vegeta…you can be sure that when I die, I'll more than make up for lost time. Until then…I'll keep your spirit with me and take strength from your memory. I know it will be hard, but I'll get up from this fall, like I got up so many times while we were training.
I can just hear you now, Vegeta.
"Dammit, Kakarot! Stop moping and pick your ass up! You know you'll see me again so stop sulking like an Icejin brat and go spar or eat!"
Heh. And as usual, you're right.
EPILOGUE TO FOLLOW
To go away is to die a little, it is to die to that which one loves: everywhere and always, one leaves behind a part of oneself.
Edmond Haraucourt (1857 - 1941)
French poet.
Seul, "Rondel de l'Adieu"