Disclaimer: I stand firm in my belief that Naruto belongs to Sasuke. Period.
The Underground Naruto Fanclub
by Apple Addiction
Uchiha Sasuke froze upon entering the scene, thunderclouds gathering swiftly above his head. Slowly and deliberately, he turned to face the other person observing the same scene, all the time debating the pros and cons of a homicidal rampage.
"Lee," he growled tersely, "get your teammate off MY boyfriend." How he managed coherency through teeth that were clenched that tight was something that should be filed and marked for further studies.
The other boy flashed him a blinding smile as reflected light traveled east and finally bounced off with a bright ding. "Ah, Sasuke-kun, how lovely to see you in the springtime of our youth!"
Sasuke ignored him and pointed a trembling finger at the other pair in the clearing. "What the fuck is Hyuuga doing on top of MY Naruto?"
Rock Lee is either very very naive or very very stupid as the possessive pronoun passed him by. Twice.
"I believe that's called sparring."
Obsidian eyes promised mauling and disembowelment. "Stop them."
"But Sasuke-kun, that will be so rude. Besides, I promised Neji not to interrupt. A good guy must always keep his promises." To illustrate his point, he struck the good guy pose.
The black-haired boy fumed, but refrained from commenting. Lee glanced at him curiously. "Why don't you do something if you are so bothered by it?"
Sasuke gave him a flat look as he recalled the morning's events, when Naruto gave him the ultimatum.
"Sasuke-teme! You interrupt my spar ONE MORE TIME, you get the couch for a month."
Sasuke gawked at his furious lover in disbelief. One whole month without sex? And all because of that stupid eyebrow-less freak? That's hardly fair!
Sasuke cleared his throat. "Look Naruto, let's be reasonable here. I just happened to walk into you and Gaara's spar and happened to use a chidori, which just happened to make your rasengan targetless but that doesn't mean ANYTHING!"
Naruto's felt his vein popping. "You're telling me that your disruption of my spar with Gaara, and before that with Kiba, Shikamaru, Shino and Choji for that matter, was just some freakish twist of luck!"
Sasuke nodded sincerely. Naruto slammed his hand into the table, which cracked under the pressure. "That's it, bastard. You're getting nothing for this week, and if you do it again, accident or not, I'm moving into Iruka-sensei's for the month."
Sasuke scowled at the foul memory. He turned his attention back to the present, just in time to see Neji pinning Naruto to the ground. Jaws dropped to the floor as he nearly went berserk with rage. Sex or no sex, nobody is touching HIS Naruto.
Neji glanced up from his position above the struggling blonde, locked eyes with the furious Uchiha and smirked.
That sent him over the edge. Red bled into black as Sharingan swirled in the place of obsidian black. Rapidly, he went through the hand seals of chidori.
Naruto sensed the offending chakra and immediately, he twisted his head, ignoring his currently vulnerable and compromising position, to give the Uchiha a hard glare.
Sasuke saw the look in his eyes. It said leave-me-the-fuck-alone-to-fight-my-own-battles-if-not-I'll-freaking-kill-you. He felt his chidori dampen a bit. Just a bit.
Because Neji chose that moment to give the now exposed neck a thorough lick.
From his perch on top of the tree, Itachi had to stuff part of his wide collar inside his mouth to stifle his laughter. Beside him, he felt Gaara tense ever so slightly. He was sure that somewhere else, Kakashi and Iruka were having the same reactions.
Current Kakashi and Iruka:
Inhale. "Sensei, that's really nice tea you're making. It smells heavenly."
Blush. "Thank you, Kakashi-san. Would you like some biscuits?"
Nod. "That would be very nice."
Sip. "So how's Naruto progressing?"
Scratch. "Well, he's been coming along quite well, I suppose. Have sex 3 times a day, once in the morning, twice in the night and sometimes a quick one during lunch break. Orgasms about 5 times each session, though I attribute it to Sasuke's skills as well as his stamina, very responsive, sweet spots are-"
Blush. "That's NOT what I'm asking!"
Grin. "Come on, don't be shy, Iruka-sensei."
Smack. "No more biscuits."
Pout. "That's so mean. I still want the raisin one!"
Frown. "I said no. You already ate up my next week's supply."
"Ne- Neji, what are you doing?" Naruto's startled voice jolted Sasuke into action. He was furious to the point of combustion. With an animalistic growl, he recharged his chidori to full power. Then he saw something that made him even madder, if possible.
The Hyuuga branch house heir leaned over and whispered something in Naruto's ear. He saw the blond hesitate, eyes widening in surprise, then nod. Sasuke charged at them at full speed, Hyuuga is going to DIE, preferably slowly and painfully and definitely by his hands.
Before he could ram his chidori down the Hyuuga's throat, said Hyuuga swiftly got off Naruto and disappeared in a whirl of sand. Sasuke, suddenly targetless, looked around, disorientated. Having nowhere to turn his anger, he turned slowly to face the blond.
Naruto gulped nervously at the obviously furious and jealous Uchiha. He could practically see steam coming out of Sasuke's nose. He could feel himself melting under the heated gaze.
"WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU SPARRING WITH HYUUGA?" A few birds were startled out of their tree.
Naruto winced. There was just no talking to the Uchiha when he was all territorial like that. "Sasuke" he whined unhappily.
Sasuke silenced him with a furious glare. "What did the jerk say to you before he ran away?"
Naruto took a deep breath. "Sasuke, it's not Neji's fault. It was a dare. He was dared to lick me. Lee was his witness."
Sasuke gaped at him in amazement. "You actually BELIEVE that CRAP?"
Naruto nodded in affirmation. "Neji wouldn't lie."
Deep breath, Sasuke, deep breath. Sasuke tried to calm himself in vain. "YOU TOTALLY MORON! He was obviously LYING and trying to GET IN YOUR PANTS! How could you be so STUPID? You are mine, understand? YOU ARE MINE!"
Naruto had attempted to run away. He had really tried but before he could even take the second step, Sasuke's hands were around his waist. He felt himself being hoisted up and unceremoniously thrown over one shoulder, a position that was rapidly becoming familiar. Shit. He knew what was coming next. Sasuke is going to prove his point. I wouldn't be able to walk for a week! He thought in horror.
Once the pair was out of sight, the four nins come out from their hiding positions. Rock Lee disappeared in a poof of chakra as Itachi dispelled his jutsu. Neji smirked at his companions. "Operation Irritate Uchiha, Phase I complete."
Itachi beamed with pride. "Well done, Neji-kun. Gaara-kun, I believe you're up next?"
Gaara gave a barely perceivable nod.
Current Kakashi and Iruka:
Jump, duck, flip, slide, grab, nibble.
"ARGH! Kakashi, you take ONE MORE biscuit out of my jar, jounin or not, I'm going to KILL YOU!"
Author's notes:
I hope everyone sees the direction the pairings are taking. Thanks for your lovely reviews. I didn't think the male membership thing would spark so much protest, lolx, but originally I had intended it as a way to limit membership to make the club more manageable. It's an underground club for a reason .
By now, my update pattern is becoming quite obvious but sadly from now on, it's going to break that pattern because I only pre-wrote FOUR chapters of this fic! GAH, it's seriously going to become quite irregular now, not to mention I'm about to take a life-changing examination. But I'm sure your reviews will hasten my process and spur me on to quickly write the future chapters!
Azamiko: Lolx, you're right. Kakashi has something up his sleeves. By the way, I really love your story Conversations and all your other stories!
Thanks to Anime Dudette, Road Kill Roko, tea, Master Elora Dannan, Azamiko and Nadramon, iyfanatic, Mila, dragoonrose, gadez, FairyQilan, Dragon Keeper Erishla and Kurisutaru39 for your lovely reviews!