And there's more! "I Feel Pretty" is from West Side Story, but I had to tweak it a little to fit the scene.
Chase slipped into the bathroom before he continued on with his patients to clean up the coffee off his coat. Knowing that the perfect white was stained forever, he threw off the coat a began to wash his hands. Afterhe accomplished this task, he used his wet hands to fix his perfect hair. He knew if House saw him now,House would think of too many nasty remarks to say but Chase didn't care. He felt himself too darn good looking for any of House's bullying to affect him. . .
CHASE: I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real. (dances from stall to stall)
See the pretty guy in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive guy be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty coat,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me! (bursts out of bathroom and goes into the Clinic)
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful gal! (Nurses join him in dancing and singing while everyone else stares in amazment)
NURSES: Have you met my good friend Robert,
The craziest guy on the block?
You'll know him the minute you see him,
he's the one who is in an advanced state of shock.
he thinks he's in love.
he thinks he's in Spain.
he isn't in love,
he's merely insane.
It must be the heat
Or some rare disease,
Or too much to eat
Or maybe it's fleas.
Keep away from him,
Send for Chino!
This is not the
Robert we know!
Modest and pure,
Polite and refined,
Well-bred and mature
And out of his mind!
CHASE: (jumps onto desk and dances, kicking papers and charts all over the place) I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty
That the city should give me its key.
A committee
Should be organized to honor me.
NURSES: la, la, la, la . . .
CHASE: I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!
NURSES: la, la, la, la . . .
CHASE: See that pretty guy in the mirror there:
NURSES: what mirror where? (they look around for a mirror. Chase ignores them)
CHASE: who can that attractive guy be?
NURSES: (Are very confused) Which? What? Where? Whom?
CHASE: Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty coat,
Such a pretty smile,
Such a pretty me!
NURSES: such a pretty me!
ALL: I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and dancing for joy,
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful gal!
Everyone stopped. Chase jumped off the desk and walked off like nothing happened. Vogler, who walked out of his office with a bulky folder filled to the brim with security camera pictures and blackmail,raised an eyebrow at the scene and stopped Chase.
"What was that? You know I want to keep you around and if you keep embarrassing me, I'll have to fire you!"
"You can't fire me! I'm too pretty!" Chase walked off, leaving his coffee stained coat behind. Vogler shook his head as hewas about to walk into a board meeting.
And they'll just keep coming. . . stay tuned for chapter four!