Time Enough For Tears
Chapter Five- One NightI leaned back in the seat and put my hand to my forehead. The great thing about alcohol is that feelings of fear and danger don't last long. "Whew," I said. "That was close."
Ranger glanced at me, and I got the almost smile. "Nice work, babe." He was quiet for a minute, and then he smiled again. "Lesbian sex?"
I shrugged and smiled too, a big, dopey, buzzy smile. "It sounded like the right thing to say."
He looked yummy, I decided. Edible. And he smelled good. Bulgari had become an aphrodisiac to me. The slightest whiff of it and I was thinking thoughts that were going to send me straight to hell.
I leaned over to sniff his arm, missed, and fell face first into his lap. Oh boy.
Ranger laughed and pushed me back up. "Babe, I'm driving."
I had nothing to say to that, so I just looked at him. He was nothing like Morelli, I decided. He was confident, and he never told me I needed a new job. Once he'd offered me his house in Maine, but I was pretty sure that was just because I was in so much danger. Of course, I was always in danger. It followed me like a black cloud. Morelli just ranted and raved and made out with Terry Gilman. The rat.
I must have said it out loud, even though I don't recall doing so, because Ranger grinned at me. I about wet my pants. "It's not the first time, Babe," he said softly, and I jerked my head up.
"Excuse me?" I wasn't sure I'd heard right. Not the first time? As in he'd been with Terry Gilman?
Ranger shook his head. "Morelli. I've had him watched a few times. This isn't the first time he's seen her."
Great, I thought, suddenly feeling tears well up. It was that time of the month, and now I'm learning that Morelli's been cheating on me already. "Why…why didn't you tell me?" I demanded, trying to blink the tears back into submission. Damn them, anyway.
Ranger shook his head. "Would you have believed me? Or would you have gotten mad and accused me of trying to steal you away." It wasn't a question. He knew that's what I would have done as surely as I knew it, too. I loved Morelli. I didn't want to believe he'd do something like that to me.
A tear slipped out of my eye and splashed onto the leather seat. "Shit," I said, and bent to rub it away. My happy fog was floating away, and I was all-too-quickly sobering back up. Nothing like a big blow to the heart to purify your blood-alcohol levels.
Ranger grabbed my hand. "It's okay, babe. We're almost there." His voice was soft and calming, and he didn't let go of my hand. The tender contact, so unassuming, had me undone.
And then the tears came. I sort of dissolved into them. Later I would be proud that I didn't resort to open-mouthed sobbing, sticking to more of a subdued whimper instead. Much more dignified, right? This was obviously the breakdown phase, and I was thinking maybe I could have Connie make some calls after all. No! No no no. Morelli didn't deserve that. He did, however, deserve the black eye I gave him, so I was satisfied.
What seemed like hours later, Ranger pulled into my parking lot and cut the engine. I looked at him, and dimly registered somewhere that I must look like hell. My mascara and liner had to be making tracks down my face, my nose was all red, and my face was splotchy with tears. Eeeuw…
Ranger angled out from behind the steering wheel and came around to my side. In one deft motion he scooped me out of the car and into his arms. His muscles were solid, and he seemed to have no problems carrying me to the elevator.
Mrs. Bestler saw me, saw Ranger, and her eyes widened. She punched in my floor number and wavered, "Shoes, handbags, and better underwear," still unsure whether I was okay or not.
Ranger smiled at her. "Bad day," he said, and Mrs. Bestler nodded.
At my door, Ranger set me on my feet and somehow opened my door. I didn't care. "Someday you're going to have to show me how you do that," I said, swaying a bit.
"Someday," he agreed, moving inside. He pulled a quick security check, and when he was satisfied it was safe pulled me in and locked the door behind me. I was being shoved toward my bathroom, and looked around at Ranger.
"Take a shower," he said. "I'll make some coffee."
It didn't seem like such a bad idea, and I didn't protest. I wanted to wash off the Vino germs on my body, and maybe, just maybe, I could wash away my hurt at Morelli too. Ranger was here. Ranger would make it okay. I don't know why I felt that way. I just did. Sort of like you can't see air but you know it's there because you're still alive? Yeah, maybe that was how Ranger was too. Keeping me alive.
I shed clothing as I went. Jacket first, then my shoes. I bent to undo my garter belt from my stockings and couldn't figure the damn thing out. I pulled at it, pushed at it, and finally whacked it with my fist. "Yow!" I said, rubbing my thigh where I'd just punched myself.
Ranger appeared in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. "Need help?" he asked, that amused smile floating over his face again.
I sent him my best PMS look ever and he just laughed at me, crossing the room in two strides and pushing me to sit down on the foot of my bed. "Nice touch, babe," he said, taking in the little strap of material that held the stockings to the belt. His hands didn't stop there, either. They moved to the zipper of my skirt and pulled it down, and I about wet myself. Lula had a point about this, and I made a mental note.
When he got around to the back, or lack of back, of my top, his eyes darkened. "Stand up."
Who was I to argue? Truth is, when Ranger's thisclose to me, there's not a whole lot I won't do if I'm told. He's really good when he's close up. A familiar tingle started down there and I almost told it to go away. Really. But then I stood up and his hands went to the ties, and I was all his. Morelli was history. I was alone, and I was hurting.
No. I wasn't alone. Ranger was here. Just like he always was when I needed him. If it didn't sound so dopey I'd say he's my knight in shining armor. But that sounds dopey, so I won't.
The shirt all but melted off of me, fluttering to the floor in a pile of red satin, and I was standing before him in nothing but the skirt, the stockings, and the garter belt. There was a moment of self-consciousness, and I tried to cover myself with my hands. Ranger wouldn't have it.
"No," he said, putting my hands at my side. "Don't." His voice was raw, and his mouth was tense. He pushed the skirt down around my hips and let it fall to the floor, followed closely by the garter belt.
He went to his knees in front of me, and I yelped. This got me a laugh. "Relax, babe. You still need a shower."
Gently, he slipped his fingers inside the top of my stocking and began rolling it down my leg. The slight touch tickled, my knees buckled, and I grabbed onto his shoulders for support. The next stocking followed closely, and then I was bare, naked as the day I was born, standing in front of probably the sexiest man on the planet. My nipples shrunk and hardened at the look in his eyes, and it wasn't lost on him either.
He shook his head and stood up. "Shower," he said, nudging me toward the door. "I'll be in the kitchen." When I hesitated he swatted me on the behind, and said, "Go. Now."
Again, I figured there was no point in arguing. I was feeling completely sober again, but the tingle hadn't gone away. I attributed that to the tall dark man in my kitchen. All his fault.
I stood under the hot spray until my skin threatened to turn pruney. Pruney was okay if you were alone, but it wasn't exactly sexy. Somehow I made my brain work enough to find a pair of the black boyshort underwear I bought today. I slipped them on, and then to cover that up I found a big t-shirt. Good enough. The sex kitten's job was over for the day. Now I could just be me. Hooray.
Ranger was standing at the counter when I walked in. "Feel better?" he asked, and I knew he wasn't talking about the alcohol.
I nodded. In some strange way crying seemed to have helped. I felt…better.
He picked up a mug and handed it to me, filled with steaming coffee. He was already drinking one.
"Want to watch a movie?" I asked suddenly, not knowing why. Okay, I was scared of him again. I needed Ghostbusters. Only they could combat the big, sexy presence in my apartment.
"Babe," he said, and reached for me. I leapt away just in time and covered it up by pulling out the tape.
"Ghostbusters," I said, my heart racing a million miles an hour. "Best movie on the planet. Seriously."
Ranger gave me a look that I couldn't quite decipher and sat down on the couch. He would wait. I knew this with a certainty I couldn't explain. Kind of like the air thing again.
When I sat down on the couch, I sat next to him this time, not on the opposite end like I'd done so many times before. He scared me, but not that much. I didn't even shriek when he put his arm around me and drew me close. My head fit perfectly into the hollow of his shoulder, and that was the last conscious thought I had.
I opened my eyes God knows how much later. The tv was off, and I was still leaning into Ranger's side. Eek! Suddenly, all I could think was no underwear!!!
"Babe," he said again, looking down at me with that amused face of his.
Something snapped inside me. I think that later I would identify it as pure animal lust. Tinged with something a little deeper that I didn't even want to try and qualify. Temporary insanity? Maybe. On the rebound? That too. Finally getting the opportunity to have a guilt-free Ranger-induced orgasm? Yes, please.
I pounced on him like a cat on a mouse, and it occurred to me that his lap really was quite comfortable. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him full on the lips.
Then I think at some point I became the mouse, because I was flat on my back on the couch, and Ranger's body was over me. Hot and hard, all muscle and passion. And there was desire. Oh, yes, there was desire.
He was kissing me like a starving man, and the things he was doing with his tongue made lightning spark down there, and suddenly I really wanted to sing the Hallelujah Chorus. Twice.
He stopped, and looked down at me, all squishy with desire. "Babe," he said, his voice surprisingly ragged. "Do you really want me? Or is this just a way of getting back at Morelli?"
I stared at him for a beat and really thought about it. "No," I said, shaking my head. Maybe I had washed off some of the hurt Morelli had caused. He was in the past, and Ranger was my present. He was here, larger than life, and he wanted me. The real me, not some fragment of his imagination that he thought I could become. "I want you, Ranger. Not Morelli, not tonight, not ever. Just you."
I reached up and traced the outline of his jaw with my fingertips, and he lifted himself off me. "Where are you going?" Please God don't let it be away, I thought.
Ranger just smiled and gathered me into his arms. He kissed me again, hard this time, and I couldn't stop a wanton moan from escaping my lips. His mouth caught the sound, and I felt him laughing as he carried me into my room.
He lay me back on the bed, and I watched him. Bending to unlace his boots, they came off, followed by socks, his utility belt, his black t-shirt, and his watch. The black cargo pants came last. This time, my suspicions were confirmed. No underwear!
And then he was over me, and all around me. But it wasn't enough. "Ranger," I said, reaching for him. He pushed my hand away, and ran his own over the length of my body. His touch was reverent and gentle, as though he were paying worship at a temple. It rocked my world, and I gasped at the sight of his dark skin against mine, so pale in comparison.
His hand went further south, and the things he began doing with his fingers unraveled me like a bundle of yarn. And just like that, I went up in smoke. He laughed and nuzzled my neck, placing burning kisses on my flesh that caused my pelvic muscles to contract again. He kissed my collarbone, my breastbone, and paid equal attention to both my nipples, and suddenly I decided I had been a stupid woman for a very long time. If a man like Ranger could want me, really want me, anything was possible.
But his kisses continued. Down my ribcage, over my slightly pooched belly where he paused to dip his tongue into my navel, and down further before I could protest. As if I would. Down, headed straight for my- Omigod!!!
Before I even finished shaking from the onslaught he'd unleashed upon me, he was inside me. Hot and pulsing and filling every corner of me until I thought I would burst from the pleasurable torment. Bright lights flashed behind my closed eyelids, and I was sure that I was going to faint. Nothing else existed. All I could do was wrap my arms around him and hold on for dear life.
Ranger stopped moving abruptly, and gazed into my eyes. I was too stunned to say anything, except that I didn't want him to stop. I didn't say that, however, because he bent down and took my lips, in a way that was entirely not characteristic of Ranger's kisses. This was…well, this was just different.
He kept his eyes locked on mine, and he began to move again. My eyes wanted to drift closed, but Ranger kissed my neck and said, "Look at me." I couldn't say no to that, not with those black eyes seeing through to my soul the way they were. No words were necessary. He showed me with his actions and caresses that he cared for me, that he would keep me safe and never let anything happen to me. At least, that's what I wanted to believe, if only just for tonight. Tonight, I didn't want to be strong.
He gathered me close to him as we lay there in the dark, his breathing deep and even. One hand slowly stroked my back, the other nestled beneath his head. I took advantage of the moment and placed my hand over his heart. The strong, steady beating there assured me that Ranger must indeed be a mortal man. Almost.
"Please don't leave," I blurted out, and regretted it just as instantly. I clapped my hand over my mouth and sat up, gaping at him. All I got was a raised eyebrow and that bemused quirk of his lips. His eyes were still dark with passion.
"You want me to stay?" he asked. When I nodded, he studied me. "This means there will be a morning after, babe. Can you handle that?"
I thought about this for a moment. Then I nodded. If it turned out differently in the morning, well, I'd just have to think of something. It couldn't be that awkward, could it? I mean, I've already slept in his bed, and this isn't the first time we've had sex.
I had a twinge at calling it sex. This hadn't just felt like sex. It felt like something entirely different. I pushed it back in my brain for later. I always thought having an orgasm was like a good shot of Valium. And this time I'd had three. Three! I shrieked in my brain. Morelli- No. I shut that off at the source. Morelli was done, and I was done with him. No more.
Ranger laughed out loud, and I looked at him, mouth open. "What?"
"Your ears are smoking, babe," he said, and pulled me back down next to him. His right arm went around my waist and pulled me in tight to his chest. The arm stayed where it was, and I was enveloped in the smell and feel of warm Ranger and Bulgari.
Yum.
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