I grabbed a bag full of doughnuts and a coffee on the way to the office, and cranked up Godsmack to try and avoid anymore deep thinking. Godsmack has that effect, I suppose. Traffic was a pain in the ass, and though my apartment was extremely close, it took me five minutes longer to get there than usual. I released my stress by making Italian hand gestures and banging my head on the steering wheel. I now had a headache, but I felt somewhat better.
I decided today would be a good day to pick up Donna Pogue. The file listed her address as a place in Point Pleasant, a good distance away from Trenton. Lula would probably ride shotgun, having taken up an unofficial partner status. Since Benito Ramirez had beaten her and left her tied on my fire escape, and I had gotten her down and into my apartment, Lula has changed her ways. Maybe not her wardrobe, but she was a step in the right direction. And as much as I hated to admit it, she and Connie were fast becoming my friends and allies.
Said friends both jerked their heads up when I breezed through the door. "Omigod," Connie said. "I smell powdered sugar Dunkin' Donuts."
I held the bag aloft and then plopped it down on her desk.
"Whew," Lula said, demolishing a Boston cream. "I was about to waste away."
I looked at the clock and back at Lula. "You're on time," I said. It wasn't really a question or a statement. More of a mild exclamation.
Lula shrugged and sucked some of the filling off her index finger. "Had a fight with my old man. Threw his ass to the curb."
My eyes widened. I'd never seen Lula's 'old man,' but apparently she really did have one. Wow.
"It's alright though," she said, smoothing out her stretchy animal-print top. "I figure I'll go after a piece of that hunk of love that's always tailing your ass."
"Tank?"
"Yeah," Lula said, licking her lips. "I could definitely have a piece of that muscle-bound brother."
We all thought about this for a minute. Connie and Lula fanned themselves.
"And he goes commando," Lula said.
"He just said he doesn't wear tighty-whiteys," I pointed out.
"Don't matter. I can tell. He goes commando."
Well, maybe it was a job requirement, I thought. You had to go commando, because….what? Maybe so when they shove their guns in their pants they don't get caught in the underwear band? Hmm. This I would have to think about later.
"I'm going after Donna Pogue today," I said, polishing off my second doughnut. "I'm going to Point Pleasant to check out her house. She's probably home. If not, I'll try her at work."
Lula stood up and accidentally shoved a stack of files in a drawer. She nudged it shut with her hip and grabbed her purse. "Well, as it happens I just finished me a bunch of that filing. I figure the rest can wait. I'm going with you."
There was no sense arguing. It was an exercise in futility. But hey, that was my specialty. Behind her desk Connie rolled her eyes, knowing the same thing.
When we got outside, there was a big black SUV idling curbside. The windows were tinted and I couldn't see who it was. It had been at least a few weeks since I'd put any of Ranger's men in the hospital, so that didn't narrow it down much.
"I bet that's Tank in there," Lula said. "I think maybe I won't talk to him. I still can't explain the bacon," she said, shouldering a fluorescent pink leather purse. I tried not to laugh at the extra swing she put in her walk on the way out.
The window on the SUV rolled down a fraction. I had a glimpse of black sunglasses and behind them, Tank's face. There was another shadow in the passenger seat, so he had a partner today. Probably Cal. I waved and he nodded at me, and the window went back up. Lula fanned herself. "That man is hot."
"We'll take my car," I said, opening the door. Lula climbed in the other side and we were off, on our way to Point Pleasant to make the world a safer place. It was a much nicer day than it had been yesterday. The sun even managed to peek periodically from behind the clouds, and there were bits of blue sky in between.
I felt safer knowing Tank was on my tail. That meant that if anything went wrong I'd have back-up. Not that Lula wasn't back-up, but Tank was a professional. Sure, he didn't ever say much, and I had no idea what he thought about baby-sitting me again, but there it was. I'm pretty much a coward at heart.
It was a pretty uneventful drive, as drives go. We swung into a McDonald's halfway there and bought burgers, fries, and big Cokes. Meal of champions. Real nutrition. There were vegetables in the fries, meat (I'm pretty sure) in the burgers, and wheat in the buns. All in all, a balanced meal.
We arrived in Point Pleasant to much nicer weather. Here, the sun was shining its happy face out of a blue sky. I almost expected blue birds to start flying around and twittering. Unh. "We need to find Lark Street," I told Lula, "so keep your eyes open."
"Sure. You bet. I'm a human compass."
Twenty minutes later we were still lost. "Dammit," I said, whipping off the road and slamming the car into park. Tank pulled to a stop behind me and I stalked back to his window, knocking on it.
It rolled down, and Tank looked out at me. Hal was riding shotgun. Well, I was close anyway. "Do you know where Lark Street is?" I asked, shoving errant brown curls out of my face.
Tank nodded, and I swear he was trying not to smile. "Two blocks down, make a right, go another block. The house is blue, on the right hand side."
I gaped at him, wondering why he hadn't just told me that in the damn first place. "Thanks," I said, doing my best at stinging sarcasm. I think I managed pretty decently. Tank just nodded and the window went back up.
I was muttering by the time I slammed my way back inside the car. Lula looked at me and laughed. "He knew where it was all the time, didn't he?"
"Shut up," I said, and screeched out of the parking lot. Donna Pogue's house was exactly where Tank said it would be, and I wondered just how long they'd been laughing about my lack of direction.
There was a tan Buick in the driveway and I could see flashes from a tv screen just inside the window. Donna Pogue was in residence today. Lucky me. If I kept this lucky streak up, maybe all the cops at Trenton P.D. would stop making pools and bets on me. Okay, not likely, but miracles happen every day, right?
"Come on," I said, hoisting my pocketbook over my shoulder. I didn't bother locking the doors. Ranger's men weren't going to let anything happen to the car. Unless it got blown up. And that almost never happens. Almost.
"I got my Glock in case we have to bust a cap in her ass," Lula said, petting her purse.
"No! No no no. No shooting. We're just going to calmly tell her she needs to come to the station with us. Okay?"
"Hunh," Lula said, kicking at a rock on the sidewalk.
"You go around back and watch the screen door. If she comes through," I said, smiling. "Sit on her or something."
"Yeah," Lula said, smiling. "I could squash her skinny ass like a bug." She looked back at the SUV containing Tank and Hal, and smiled. There was no movement from within, but she looked satisfied with herself. The extra swing was still in her walk as she went around back.
It came to me all of a sudden that maybe Lula and Tank would be a really interesting couple. Okay, really interesting. Tank never said anything, and Lula never shut up. Tank was quiet and seemed to make carefully thought-out decisions. Lula busted doors down on the wrong houses. Oh, Lord, please don't let them have children, I thought, moving up to the porch.
I knocked lightly on the screen door, and Donna answered the door. "Omigod!" she said. "You're that bounty hunter! The one that burned down the funeral home."
"It wasn't my fault!" I said, shoving a bit of hair behind my ear.
Donna was beaming. "This is so cool. Are you here to take me to jail?"
"Um, yes." Somehow I couldn't picture this Donna blowing up her ex-boyfriend's car.
"Wow," she said, picking up her purse from a table near the door. "I can't believe I actually get to meet you. You're my hero!" she said, still beaming.
I didn't know what to say to that. I'd never been anyone's hero before. I was usually the one people were being hero's for.
Lula stomped around the house, huffing. "The one day I'm all ready to rumble, and they don't even run," she grumbled. She got into the car as I opened the back door for Donna, and we all got in.
When we were en route back home, I looked in the mirror at Donna. "So why did you blow up your ex's car?"
She rolled her eyes, and I couldn't help thinking that she reminded me a little of myself. Without the irritating perkiness. She pulled an emery board from her purse and filed a stray corner off an otherwise perfectly manicured hand. "I caught him in the stadium with Jenna Strakowski, doing the full-on horizontal mambo. He was supposed to be meeting me there, but no, he was with Jenna and her perfect boobs. He deserved to have his car blown up."
We all thought about that for a moment. None of us could say we wouldn't have done the same in her shoes. I'd given Morelli a black eye. That was pretty close to blowing up his car, but I'd already done that months ago. For different reasons of course, but blown it up, nonetheless. It gave me an inner satisfaction.
"Then why didn't you get your skinny white ass to court?" Lula grumped, still unhappy about not being able to tackle someone.
Donna resumed the beaming, and I hid a grimace. All this high-school perkiness was eating at my stomach. "Well, I was hoping to meet Stephanie, of course!" she said.
The car went silent.
"Run that by me again?" I asked, incredulous.
"I wanted to meet you! All my girlfriends and I are big fans. You're like, the most famous girl at Trenton High!"
Omigod. I pinched myself to make sure I was still awake.
Donna, unfazed, continued. "People are always talking about you. I think someone actually did a research paper on the probability of one person having all those cars blown up. It was wicked. That's the whole reason I went to Vinnie to get bonded out. I just knew I'd get to meet you, and then I could tell all the girls about it!"
I think she may have taken a breath, then, but couldn't be sure.
"And when you burned down that funeral home with your grandma? Oh, I would have loved to have seen that!" This was almost a squeal, and Lula and I couldn't take it anymore.
"Who likes Godsmack?" I asked, as I turned the volume up.
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Donna was still beaming when I left her at the station. I had taken my car keys in with me so she couldn't leave me stranded again. This was all too weird. I had a fan club at Trenton High? Now that was something to think about. I got a nauseous lump in my stomach. Or not.
When I got back to my car, I noticed a strange lack of Lula. Slamming the door, I stalked back to Tank and banged on the window. "Where's Lula?" I demanded
Tank smiled at me over the tops of his sunglasses. "Called a cab. She flashed me."
I stuttered. "She what!!!" Please God let it have been an accident.
Tank just smiled. My cell phone rang and I barked "What!" into the receiver, knowing it was going to be Lula.
"Oh," I said, blushing to the roots of my hair. "Hi, mom."
Tank and Hal burst out laughing. I scowled at them and slunk back to my car.
"We're having pot roast tonight," my mother said. "And pineapple upside-down cake for dessert."
Sold. Hell nor high water could keep me from pineapple upside-down cake. It was ambrosia. Besides, this was the first accident-free day I'd had in a long time. I could use that to strengthen the case for my job. The fact that I liked it. Okay, most of the time I liked it. When people weren't stalking me, or shooting at me, or throwing bombs into my car.
I drove to Vinnie's office and got my check from Connie. Lula was sitting there, looking innocent. The door to Vinnie's inner sanctum burst open.
"This is fabulous!" he said, looking all excited. Probably had a nooner with a goat. "You're bringing me business!"
I hung my head. "I guess Lula already told you, hunh?" I cut a look at Lula, who tried to look innocent.
"What?" she asked, for the first time bending to do some real filing.
"You keep this up, I'm going to give you a raise," Vinnie said, slamming the door. My first thought was that he was ill. Then the bolt finally slid into place and we all heaved a sigh of relief.
"This has been a weird day," I said, handing the paperwork over.
"I heard."
"Well, I'm going home for the day," I announced. "Mom's making pineapple upside-down cake."
They looked hurt that I wasn't inviting them, so I made a hasty retreat.
Tank and Hal followed me to my apartment building, and the window went down again. "Thanks for the back-up," I said. "I'm tucked in for the night." Okay, it was a fib. But I was going to my parents' house for cripes sake. It was five minutes away! There were no unusual cars in my parking lot, and I had a happy feeling of safety in my stomach.
Tank nodded, and picked up his cell phone. Probably dialing Ranger to let him know I was home safely. Then he got out of the car and followed me up to my apartment. This was standard procedure anymore. One of the Merry Men does a sweep of my apartment for dead things, crawly things, and cranky things, and then he leaves. It was like clockwork.
Gun in hand, Tank took the key from me and swung the door open. There was a slight pop, and two darts with a little line between them embedded themselves in Tank's chest. He went down like a sack of sand and twitched on the hallway floor. I turned to run, but a massive hand grabbed the scruff of my neck and hauled me inside. Tank was out like a light, still twitching. Remotely I realized it was some sort of stun gun, only when the darts were in you could keep shocking the person. Another man in the corner held some kind of control, and he pushed the button again and again, an evil grin splitting his face.
I was thrown to the floor in the entryway, right in front of a pair of very expensive loafers. I followed them up a pair of expensive trousers, then to an expensive jacket, and finally to the baby-fat face of Vino Santinni.
"Ms. Plum," he said, his eyes buggy and scary like they'd been when I left the hotel. He held his hand out, and when I didn't take it he grabbed me and pulled me into a standing position. "I want it back," he said, his deep Jabba voice a little more than enough to creep me out.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I said. "Want what back?"
Wham. A fist connected with my gut, and I went to the floor, clutching my stomach. I couldn't get my breath fast enough, all the wind knocked out of me.
"I saw you leave with the dark man, Ms. Plum," he said, the deep voice condescending now, like you would speak to a child with their hand in the cookie jar trying to prove their innocence. "I want it back."
I choked on the gulps of air I was sucking in. "I don't have it. I don't know where it is or what you're talking about." The scary part was, that was the truth. I really didn't know what Ranger had taken from this man, or what he'd done with it. That put me in a really bad place.
Vino shook his head and sighed. "Then I'm going to leave a message for your friend that I want it back."
"Sure," I said, standing up on wobbly legs. "Let me get a piece of paper and a pen, and I'll gladly give him the note."
The evil smile widened on the goon holding the controller. He pushed the button a few more times and set it down. Tank was out cold on the floor, his body still jerking every few seconds. "Tie him up," Vino snarled, and the goon quickly did as he was told.
The other man was close behind me, but in my panicked state I didn't hear him until he grabbed my arms behind my back. A roll of duct tape was tightly wound about my wrists, and I started to struggle. Wham. Another punch, right to the gut. I groaned, and would have fallen, but the pressure on my arms was painful.
Vino smiled as Tank's arms and legs were cuffed and shackled. They used metal cuffs, not tape, taking no chances. The shocks would wear off soon, and he would be angry. Better to be safe.
The man shoved me back down on the ground and rolled his cuffs up. The smirk on his face scared me more than Vino's buggy eyes did. I knew what was coming. Vino's note to Ranger was going to be me. So much for my happy feeling of safety.
Vino nodded at the men, and sat down on my couch. The two goons closed in on me, and I struggled to get up off the floor, run away, anything. I had no luck.
The first punch hit me in the jaw, and I tasted blood in my mouth. The second caught my right cheekbone and little lights twinkled behind my eyelids. And they just kept hitting me. I tried to curl in on myself to protect my face and head, but to no avail. That just made them angry. They lashed out with their boots, and I began to scream. I'd never felt such pain in so many places all at once.
Then a boot made contact with my forehead, and everything faded out, and just as suddenly came back into focus. There was something warm in my right eye, and I couldn't see out if it. I think I must have been groaning or crying or something, because there was an awful keening in the room. The pain was kind of distant now, even though I felt the impact of every blow.
I managed to roll over on my side, the men still kicking and punching at me, and saw Tank. His eyes were open and bulging, and he was struggling at the cuffs and shackles on his legs. There was rage in his eyes, and it was pretty scary.
The door to my apartment burst open, and everyone stopped moving. Ranger stood there in the doorway, like an avenging black angel. He looked down at me, on the floor between the two men, and a muscle jumped in his jaw. Then he had his gun in his hand, and three shots were fired. I heard two thumps, and a large body crashed on top of me. I cried out, and everything faded to black…