Alicia finished her dinner as quickly as she could, practically choking down her food. When she was satisfactorily full, she raced back up the stairs like Father Alexander Anderson was on her tail.1

She payed little attention to the door as she kicked it closed behind her. All thoughts were on her PB. With a crack of her knuckles, she pressed the power button on her monitor. Her usual screensaver still covered her screen with a montage of images from various fandoms. A soft sigh spilled from her lips as a picture of Jack appeared. Almost regretfully, she moved the mouse, stopping the screensaver. The pointer landed on her shortcuts folder, opening it. One quick click and she'd be back to her story outline.

She clicked on her file, eager to finish. There were just so many ideas running through her head. The file opened, but instead of her prior work, there was a poem. One she wrote ages ago... She wrote it three months into her Freshman year of High school. How could a file two and a half years old replace one less than a half an hour old?

Lost Soul

The world is dark

The end is nigh

Sorrow owns my heart

Tears, they own my eyes

When all sins are forgiven

But too expensive be repentance

And death the only way,

Life goes on, or does it?

Whose life?

As shadows creep around me

Twilight gives way to the night

Sobs begin to rack my body

And the blood pours from my eyes

Sunlight is my ending,

Shadows my only friends,

Then why, now, do I fear them

As I long now for my bane?

Just once more, I yearn

To bask in the golden glow

To feel once again

Something other than mistrust

Love, joy, understanding

I long to just once know

How can a frozen heart of fire

Learn to hold another?

Denial, deceit, destruction

I've thrived on for too long

Imprisoned in a shameful soul

With sturdy bars of guilt

I'm not who I should be

I'm not who I am

I bury all my goodness

Under lies and scorn

I hated who I was

I wanted to be me

But now I just wish things back

To the way they used to be

I've fallen into an abyss

Built by my own self doubt

Now I'm trapped and drowning

With no means to get out

A hidden surface,

Which way is up?

All around me, pressure

The crushing, black oblivion

Holding me under

Anger fills my mind

And sympathy fills my heart

I laugh at your misfortune

As it's tearing me apart

I don't know just who I am

I can't find where I'm going

A dusty, lonely, broken trail

Is the path I'm on.

Why am I...? What am I?

A simple lost soul?

Am I truly human?

Or has my humanity been forsaken?

What right do I have to hold grudges?

When I anger so many myself...

But, somehow, I manage

To hate myself enough

She couldn't even remember why she wrote it. It kind of sounded like the narration was from a Vampyre's PoV... But then not... And where was her fanfic outline!

Running her cursor to the Windows "Start" button, she ran a search for her story. The search turned up nothing. Not even the story (or poem as it were) that she had open. Frustrated, she tried everything she could think of, even going so far as to restart her computer. Twice. But nothing worked. Her work was gone.

Angrily, she threw herself to her bed, ignoring the plushies that fell to the floor. Frustrated tears streamed from her eyes, smearing her black eyeliner. Grabbing one of the stuffed toys surrounding her, she punched it. The happy smile just made her resentment grow. She had worked so hard on that. Now she can't even remember what was supposed to happen...

She threw the plushie across the room. The next one she picked up was Alucard. With his signature malicious grin in place, she could almost hear his laughter. She pictured what he would say to her if he saw her that way.

"Tsk, tsk." She imagined him traverse her room, picking up the plushie she threw. "Throwing a temper tantrum? That's not very becoming of you..." He tossed the stuffed toy back onto her bed. He continued chastising her, but she began losing consciousness.

A big yawn and she was out like a light...

-----+\\\\\+-----

-.--. . -. -.. --- ..-. -.-. ... .- .--. - . .-. - .-- --- -.--.-

As always, it may be short, but I'm doing my best. R&R!

A quick explanation: 1Alexander Anderson is a vicious "Freak Slayer" in the Hellsing series. He works for the Catholic Church, in the Vatican. The secret organization that controls him is known as Section XIII. A member of the rival organization to Hellsing (which is Protestant), Anderson is a regenerate. He's tried numerous times to kill Alucard. (-Netalak: And we all know how much you love him...-) Shut up... But each time, Alucard has been victorious! (-Put cute smiley, with anime wink, here -)

-(Cue Hellsing Theme)-

Netalak: I feel sorry for you...

Me: Why?

Scully: Because you feel the need to measure your life's worth by a scale derived from fictitious lives?

Mulder: Because your Muse has turned from a beautiful Muse to an ugly gargoyle like being?

Ed: 'Cause you can't do nearly half the stuff you want to because it doesn't exist?

Netalak: (-Quite sore about the ugly Muse comment-) No! (-Calming himself-) It's because you have no life.

Me: Yes I do! It's just not one you'd understand...

Alucard: I'm sure I could understand...

Me: (-Fanatical gleam in my eyes-) Of course you would... You are, after all, my soul—mate.

Netalak: Which is funny considering he has no soul.

Me: You, Shut Up!

Ed: That wasn't very nice...

Me: Well, I'm not feeling very nice right now.

Alucard: I'm sure I could make you feel better.

Ed: How?

Scully, Mulder, Netalak, and Me: Maybe when you're older.

Alucard (at the same time): I was planning on... Cheering her up.

Ed: (-Anime sweat—drop-) How?

Alucard: By distracting her.

Other four: (-Give warning looks.-)

Me: (-Whispers to Alucard-) Trust me, I know what'll happen if innocent Ed's mind gets corrupted. It's not pretty.

Spike Spigel: Please, don't do or say anything that'll make her worse than she already is...

Ed: Ohio, Spike—Person!

Spike: (-Pleadingly-) Please...

Alucard: (-Thinking-) Perhaps...

Me: Please?... (- Puppy—dog eyes-)

Ed: How will telling me how you're gonna help her make me bad?

Scully: Never mind.

Mulder: I think we should end here, before anybody loses their sanity.

Netalak: Too late...

Me: Just put the gun down... It's not worth it! You have so much to live for...

Netalak: (-Confused-) What are you talking about?

Me: Sorry... I got a bit carried away there.

Scully: If only someone would carry you away. To a white padded room. And just to be sure, I think they should put a nice comfy white jacket on you.

Me: They already tried that. I scared them into letting me go.

Mulder: I'd believe it...

Netalak: Just go back to your Vampyre sex—slave and I'll finish up here.

Ed: Sex—slave, Next day, go away...

Scully: (- To me-) Please do.

Ed: All the children are out to play...

Me: Fine! Let's go, Alucard. I can see we're not wanted here.

Alucard: As you wish...

Netalak: (-Shudders-) That's just disturbing. (-Ahem-) Please review this story... And complain about GG's inappropriate behaviour.

Mulder: The Ed... I mean, The End!

Ed: Bye—Bye!