Again thanks everybody for the reviews. Hope you guys like this chapter. I decided it was time for Future Kate to let loose and have some fun. She's been living under a dark cloud the poor girl. Oh and for this chapter Future Kate will be referred to by her alias – Lily.
Chapter 6
Boone took her hand and again the couple walked through the front door of the apartment only to find themselves inside a lively nightclub filled with people – most of them men. Multi-colored lights line the stage in the middle of the room. A bright blue curtain hung as a backdrop with mirror tiles on its floor and two metal poles coming down from the ceiling on either side. A tall red-haired girl dressed only in a sequined thong and 4" heels was shimmering on one of the poles as several men stood near the stage watching and offering her dollar bills. Along the back wall there was a long bar in front of a wall of shelves holding bottles of alcohol.
Boone's attention was briefly caught by the red-head dancer before he turned back to Kate. "Welcome to the Devil's Martini." He gestured with one of his hands across the room. "One of the more popular gentlemen's clubs Boise has to offer."
"This is where I work." Kate's words were more a statement than a question. And sure enough as Boone nodded she spotted her future self behind the bar mixing up drinks. As she worked she smiled and traded verbal jabs with some of the male customers all the while flashing a sexy smile to keep the tips coming. Kate walked closer to the bar and left Boone back near the stage where he had gotten distracted watching the dancer.
"Hey, Lily!" an older man came up to her carrying a clipboard.
Future Kate looked up at him and smiled. "Yeah, Bill?"
Lily. That must be what I'm calling myself, Kate thought to herself and gave a half smiled. Lily, she liked that name.
"Did you see where Gopher put that shipment of bourbon we got in yesterday?"
"Ah huh, back by the freezer in that corner." She replied as she poured tequila into a glass. "There should be two boxes."
Bill smiled. "Glad to know at least one of my employees knows what the hell is going on here." He said before turning and walking into the back.
After taking money from one customer for his drink she turned and faced another. "What can I get you?"
"You up on stage." The man replied giving her a cheesy smile.
'Gee', Lily thought to herself, 'like I haven't heard that line before.' She kept her smile and shook her head. "Got no rhythm" she replied.
"Baby, with a face and body like yours rhythm ain't needed." He replied trying his best to flirt with the pretty brunette.
"Thanks. Now what can I get you?"
"Gimme what you got on tap." He handed her a $5 then threw the change in her brandy tip bowl. "I'll be back." He winked and then walked way already starting to weaving slightly from the effects of previously consumed alcohol.
Lily tended to a few more customers before turning her back on them for a moment and taking a long sip of her coca cola she kept behind the bar. The smoke billowed all around and she already knew her hair reeked of it.
Turning back she walked over to the end of the bar where there were less people and started rearranging the glassware. The Devil's Martini's most popular dancer Jasmine has just made her way onto the stage and Kate knew most of the men would be entranced.
"Can I get a beer?" a male's voice asked while Lily was looking down under the bar. She looked up and found herself looking at a tall, dark haired man with warm brown eyes.
Caught off guard for a moment Lily didn't hear what he had said. "Excuse me?" she asked shyly.
"A beer?" he repeated as he casually slipped onto the barstool near the end. "MGB"
Nodding, Lily walked over and pulled a bottle of beer and opened it as she walked back to the handsome man. "Here you go."
"Thanks. Mind if I run a tab?" he asked smiling. Lily noticed when he smiled tiny wrinkles formed around his eyes that softened his face.
"Sure" she replied getting lost in the smile for a moment before hearing one of the barmaids calling her name to mix up her drink order. Lily went over to the young girl and started putting together what she needed. She continued to glance over at the man noticing that he wasn't paying much attention to the ongoing show. In fact he seemed to be more interested in watching what was going on behind the bar. In watching her. Lily blushed slightly at the idea of this man watching her. After finished what she was doing she slowly walked back over to where he was sitting. She still had to finish fixing the glassware.
As she approached he smiled at her again and this time he stomach did a little flip. "Back again?" he joked taking a sip of his beer.
"Gotta keep busy." She returned his smile. "Not enjoying the show."
"No my deal." He confessed.
"Really? So why come then?"
"Bachelor party. My cousin decided this was the place to spend his last weekend of freedom."
Lily nodded and poured herself another soda. "I guess it's a tradition."
"Hey, I'm Matt." He extended his hand over to the young bartender.
"Lily." She said simply and shook his hand giving him a shy smile.
"Lily? That's a pretty name. It fits you." He smiled. "Nice to meet you."
"You too." She met his gaze and held it for a few long seconds.
"So, you mind if I hang out here while the bachelor boy and his friends spend all those one dollar bills they got from the bank today?" he asked softly. "I promise to buy another beer."
Lily laughed and nodded. "Knock yourself out." She replied.
As her shift continued Lily found herself returning back to Matt and engaging him in idle chit chat. Something about him seemed to draw her to him. Maybe it was the way he seemed to put her at ease as they joked and subtly flirted with each other. Or maybe it was the way he made her feel like an attractive woman. Something she hadn't felt like in a while.
"So, "he asked as she leaned on the bar in front of him to hear him above the music. "What time do you get off?"
Lily looked at him without answering taken by surprise (for moment) by his question. As he waited for an answer Matt brought his hand up to his chin and stroked the light beard. Suddenly all thoughts of Sawyer and what she had waiting for her at the apartment flew out of her mind.
"Two-thirty." She replied quietly.
Matt looked at his watch. "Think maybe I could buy you some breakfast?"
"I'd like that." Lily replied meeting his gaze again not wanting to look away, but duty called and she had to break away to tend to another customer. As she walked back to the center of the bar thought about what she had just agreed to. Breakfast with a man she had just met a couple of hours before. But she was tired. Tired of feeling lonely and isolated. Of living a life where all she did lately was come to work, go home and watch TV until Sawyer came home or she fell asleep whichever came first. Nothing wrong with having a little breakfast with a handsome man that obviously found her attractive.
"Hey, Gopher" she approached one of the other bartenders. "Think you could cover closing for me tonight?" she asked shyly.
Gopher, who had been watching Lily flittering back and forth between mixing drinks and talking to the guy at the end of the bar, eyed her suspiciously. "Getting lucky, Lily? He teased and looked over at the guy.
She shook her head. "It's not like that. We're just going to breakfast and I don't want to be eating at 3 in the morning." She explained.
Gopher laughed. "Okay, if you say so. Go ahead. Get out of here, but you owe me one."
"Thanks." She replied then walked back over to Matt. "Looks like I can leave now, if you still wanna grab that breakfast." She said.
Matt nodded quickly. "Let me just tell my cousin I'm leaving." He pulled out his wallet. "How much for the beer?"
"Don't worry about it." Lily told him "I put it on your cousin's tab. It's his party after all." She winked.
The young man laughed. "I like your way of thinking."
"Thanks. Let me grab my bag and I'll meet you at the front door."
It was at this point that Boone approached Kate and placed his hand on her shoulder. She turned back and looked at him. "Are we leaving?" she asked knowing the answer.
"Yeah, we've got another place to go." He replied.
"Let me guess, a diner?" she said thinking about the breakfast invitation.
Boone remained silent and pushed her through the wall next to them. They found a small diner on the other side where they watched Lily and Matt sitting across from each other in the booth laughing and enjoying each other's company as they ate. Lily couldn't believe how easy it was talking to Matt. It was like they had known each other for longer than 4 hours.
As the waitress walked over with the check Matt reached over and took Lily's hand in his, "I've really had a good time." He said as he gently rubbed his thumb over her fingers.
Lily blushed slightly and nodded. "Me too, "she said softly. "It's been a long time since I laughed like that." She thought back to the time when Sawyer it seemed could make her laugh at a drop of the hat.
"I really don't want it to end." He looked up into her green eyes thinking how he just wanted to get lost in them.
"Me neither" she admitted returning his gaze again like she had been all evening. A silent conversation seemed to pass between the two before they got up and walked out hand in hand.
"Where are they going? Kate turned to Boone as they watched the couple leave.
"To get to know each other better." Boone replied then took Kate's hand and led her out.
They found themselves standing outside a hotel room door at the Cozy 8 motel.
"Here?" Kate whispered. "This is what you mean by getting to know each other better?"
Boone nodded. "There was a pretty strong attraction between the two." He stated.
They went inside and Kate saw herself asleep under the bed sheet lying on Matt's chest with his arms firmly wrapped around her. She couldn't believe she had spent the night with a virtual stranger something she had never done before. And she never thought of herself to be capable of cheating. Was her future self that unhappy that she would do something out of character?
As if on cue Future Kate started to stir. Lifting her head she looked up at the sleeping man that was sharing the bed and smiled. Reaching her hand up she tenderly caressed his cheek enjoying the rough texture of his facial hair on her fingers. Then she dragged a single finger down his jaw line. That caused Matt to wake up tightening his embrace and smiling.
"Good Morning" she smiled.
"Good Morning" he returned her smile. "Sleep well?"
"Ah huh" she replied gazing into his eyes for a moment longer than necessary before reaching over and looking at this wrist watch. 8 a.m. "I'd better go." She started to pull herself out of the warm embrace.
"Wait…" Matt started to protest.
"I can't. I really have to go." Wrapping the sheet around her she started picking up her clothing and ran into the bathroom. A few minutes later she came out dressed and found Matt still laying in the bed.
"So this is goodbye?" he guessed.
Future Kate looked at the handsome man and nodded her head. She walked over and sat down on the bed next to him. Leaning over she gave him a lingering kiss. "Thank you." She whispered as her lips broke contact.
"For what? Last night?" He asked.
"For that…and for reminding me of something I thought I had lost."
"What's that?" Matt wanted to know.
"Myself." She replied before getting up and walking out of the room and leaving the hotel.
By the time Future Kate had returned to her apartment Kate and Boone were already there watching an impatient Sawyer pacing back and forth across the living room deep in thought. The sound of a key in the lock made Sawyer jump.
"Where the hell have you been?" he barked as she walked in the door. "And why didn't you answer your cell?"
"I shut it off while I was at work. "Future Kate replied choosing to answer the easier question first. "I guess I forgot to turn it back on."
Sawyer approached her in the kitchen as she grabbed a mug to pour some coffee from the pot he had made. "So, Freckles, where the hell were you all night?"
"Out." She replied using one of his favorite answers. "I was out."
Sawyer grabbed her arm. "Don't give me that out shit. I wanna know where you were."
But she didn't get a chance to answer because Sawyer knew her well enough to know what she had meant by her answer. The same thing he meant when he had given it to her in the past. "You screwing 'round on me, Kate?"
That was the first time in forever that he had used her real name and Kate knew he was doing it to try and get her to look at him. Deciding that it was time to stop playing games Future Kate took a deep breath and quietly answered him. "Sawyer we need to talk."
"Oh, we do, do we?" The anger in his voice seemed to lash out and slap her across her face. "You gonna try and explain why you did it?"
"If you'll let me." She replied sitting down at the kitchen table.
"Oh, I know why you did it. You're pissed at me and you wanted to get back at me. Well fine, you did a great job. You paid me back. Is that what you want to hear?" he yelled.
She shook her head as she felt her throat tighten up. When she finally spoke up her voice was barely audible. "That's not why I did it."
"No?" he retorted. "Well then, Sweetcakes, why did you?"
"I'm tired Sawyer." She stated. "I'm tired of living like this. I don't even recognize the person I am anymore. I've told so many lies, made up so many stories that I can hardly recognize real memories from made up ones. Last night I did something I never thought I would do…" she took a sip of her coffee and was surprised that Sawyer had not interrupted. "I hurt you."
Sawyer looked at the young woman sitting in front of him not knowing what to feel. Part of him wanted to reach out and slapped her for what she did, not that he had ever hit a woman in his life or he ever would. It's just the idea of Kate with another man cut him deep and opened old wounds – old wounds of rejection and jealousy that he thought he had long buried when she agreed to run away with him.
"I'm sorry that I did that." She continued.
Sawyer nodded and sat down across from her. "We need to work this out Freckles."
"No." she stated. "We need to end this."
Sawyer was taken back by what she had just said. Looking over at her he noticed that while she looked tired and there was a sense of sadness in her face there was a hint of a glimmer in her eyes – one he hadn't seen since they had moved to Boise. Hell, he hadn't seen that glimmer since a few months after they went on the run.
"What are you talking about Freckles? End this? Over you having a roll in the hay with some clown? I don't think so."
But Future Kate shook her head. "It's not about that. It's about us. What's been going on between us lately. Don't you see it? We're not the same people we were before Sawyer. "
"People change sweetheart."
"I know. But all we seem to be doing lately is find ways to hurt each other. We're not making each other happy. We're not even on the same page anymore."
"About what?" Sawyer said.
"Everything. The future…where we're going…what we want." She explained. "When people are together they should be good for each other. They should be able to bring out the best in each other. We're not doing that."
Sawyer reached over and took her hand. "You're good for me." He insisted.
"Maybe at first." She admitted. "I saw you change on the island Sawyer. You went from a selfish jerk to being this caring strong man. A man I could see loving."
"But now…?"
"It's like we've both taken steps backwards to what we were before the crash. I mean look at me I'm still running."
"So what, you want to turn yourself in, is that it?" his tone got angry again.
Future Kate shook her head. "That's not it. I want us to stop hurting each other. Stop keeping the other from being more. Sawyer I want you to find that caring loving man that you were just realizing when we got rescued. I want you to be able to stop hating yourself for what your parents did. Stop punishing yourself and put all that anger and hurt behind you and have a good life."
Sawyer's anger disappeared as Kate continued to speak.
"I want you to find a woman who will see you for all your potential and be able to help make you happy. But I'm not that woman. I realized that last night. We're not 'that' person that makes the other whole. That person that helps put all the pieces together. I thought we were, but we're not."
Sawyer could feel tears building up in his eyes. He couldn't believe what Kate was telling him. That she didn't believe they were meant to be. Here was the first woman he had ever fallen in love with and she was telling him goodbye. The majority of him was telling him to fight her tell her she was crazy and hold on to her as tight as he could until she realized what she was saying was probably out of guilt for sleeping with another man. But there was a part – his heart – that was telling him that what Kate was saying was true. They were hurting each other and it had to stop. He thought about how Kate had changed over the last year. How she seemed to have lost an essential part of her personality that just made her "Kate" that spitfire independent sassiness that made Sawyer compete with Jack for her attention. As he looked up at her he saw a pleading in her eyes that he understand…that he let her go.
"This is what you want?" he asked softly.
"It's for the best. For the both of us." She replied with tears now forming in her eyes.
"Where will you go?" He asked.
She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. But then I never knew where I would end up before the crash. I just went."
Sawyer stood up and took the young woman in his arms and hugged her tightly. "I'm gonna miss you Freckles."
"I'm going to miss you too, James." She replied letting the tears flow.
Watching the whole scene with Boone Kate found herself in tears over what had just happened. She and Sawyer parting ways. Shaking her head she turned to Boone. "Can we go now?" she asked.