Sorry for the delay my computer caught a virus and had to be recreated. I'm changing the format a bit on this – got tired of typing "Future Kate" so for the flash forwards I'm using italics and present time in regular text. Hope it doesn't get confusing.

Oh and props to bwcheer for guessing who the next 'guide' would be.

Chapter 8

Boone led Kate back to the sparsely decorated room where they had first met up. Silently Kate sat down on the couch crossed her legs and then leaned forward resting her face against her hands. She was still trying to process everything she had witnessed. She couldn't believe that life with Sawyer had been unhappy enough to have both of them do things to hurt each other – even if they hadn't done it intentionally. Life on the run still left her feeling alone and hollow even with another person by her side.

"Kate?" Boone sat down next to her. "You okay?"

"Okay? This whole thing we just witnessed sucked. My future life sucked." She stated softly. "How can I be okay with that?"

"Technically, that could be your future." Boone pointed out. "A lot depends on the decisions you make now and in the future. "

"So, you're saying that Sawyer and I could still be happy…if certain decisions are made differently?" she was getting more confused by the moment.

"Not necessarily. It's like your future self told Sawyer, it's not so much the outside events that made you two unhappy it's what both of you bring to the relationship and what you need out of it that can determine it's success. He may not have or be what you need to…for lack of a better word…complete you."

"Sawyer and I would still end up hurting each other." She concluded.

Boone stood up and walked around the couch and stood behind Kate. "The point of this whole thing is for you to figure out what you truly want and what you need to make you happy."

Kate rubbed the temples of her head trying to push back an oncoming headache.

"Kate," the young man said solemnly. "It's time for me to leave."

Turning back and looking over at him she flashed briefly to how bloody his face and body had looked when he had his accident. She had never seen anyone like that before except for Tom and the image still gave her chills. Turning completely around and getting on her knees she reached over and hugged him. "I'm glad I got to see you again, Boone. I wish you could go back with me."

Boone nodded and returned the hug. "Me too. But that was my destiny and I'm okay with that." He replied.

Kate pulled away and sat back on the couch. "Bye Boone."

"Bye Kate…and Good Luck." He said before turning around and quietly walking out of the room.

With that Kate found herself alone in the room again. Alone with her thoughts. She got up and started walking around as Boone's words rang through her head. You need to figure out what you truly want and what you need to make you happy. Well, a life without having to run would be truly wanted and needed, she thought to herself. A life with Sawyer didn't seem to fit that category at this point. Maybe Boone was right, maybe they couldn't 'complete' each other because they were the two same sides of a whole. They were similar she knew that and thought that was part of the attraction, but maybe it was part of the problem too. Or maybe she wasn't supposed to be happy. With everything she had done wrong in her life maybe she wasn't meant to love and be loved.

"Maybe, I'm not worthy." She thought to herself as she continued to pace back and forth mulling her thoughts around.

"Good ol' Katie. Still can't stand still for more than 5 minutes, I see." A male's voice said behind her.

Instantly recognizing the voice Kate turned and found her old boyfriend Tom Brennon standing there smiling at her.

"Oh my God, Tom." She whispered shocked to see him standing there like nothing – like he was still alive.

"Hey Katie." He greeted.

She impulsively ran over and threw her arms around him hugging him with all her strength. Tom had to take a step back in surprise. "I guess you missed me, huh?" he hugged her back.

Kate, who's eyes were filled with tears threatening to spill out, nodded. She reached up and cupped his face in her hands. "The last time I saw you you were shot and covered in blood." She cried.

"Yeah, I remember."

"I'm sorry." She ran her hands down his face. "It's my fault you're dead."

Tom shook his head. Taking her hands in his he led her back to the couch.

"Katie, it's not your fault. I was the one that made the decision to get into the car that day. I knew what was going on and I still decided to go."

"But you were only trying to help me. I never should have let you in the car. Damn it, I never should have come back and asked you to help me. It's just that I wanted to see my mom and…"she started crying again. "And you got killed because of it."

"I got killed by a policeman who shot me. You didn't kill me Katie." Tom took his thumb and gently wiped the tears from her eyes. "You need to let that guilt go."

"Y-you're dead because of me." She sniffled. "If it wasn't for me you'd still be alive and raising your son."

Tom sighed and pulled Kate into his arms to hug her. "Stop blaming yourself. It won't bring me back and neither will you trying to punish yourself. It's time to let it go Katie and let yourself feel some of the good stuff."

Kate stayed in his embrace for a moment longer enjoying the warmth and safety she had long forgotten. "What good stuff?" she asked. "I'm plane wrecked on some strange island in the middle of nowhere, with a security system that rattles trees, tears people apart and then poofs into black smoke, a crazy woman who thinks we're all going to die. And now all the survivors know about me being a fugitive and they don't trust me." She told him.

"But there's Jack." Tom pointed out. "He's known about you the longest and he trusts you."

Kate pulled herself out of Tom's embrace and pulled her hair back trying to fix her ponytail.

"Jack doesn't completely trust me. I can see it in his eyes." She stated.

"Maybe that's because you need to be more honest with him. That's all he wants."

Not wanting to answer Kate changed the subject. "Aren't you here to show me what life would be like if I…I…pick Jack."

"Nice dodge, Katie, but we're not ready to leave just yet." He pulled her over to the couch again. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." She whispered laying her head on his chest. "I wish things could be different."

"You know it's time to stop this. You're a good person, Katie, who was dealt a rotten hand in life but it's still not too late to change some things. "

"Like what? If we manage to get off the island I'll be running again. Anything I try to change on the island isn't going to change that."

"Katie, you don't have to run if you don't want to. You can stop that. You're a strong enough person." He pushed her out of his embrace and cupped her cheek. "I know you are."

"But I'll go to jail and I can't do that." She replied with a scared look in her eyes. "That would be worse than running."

"You don't know about jail. There were mitigating circumstances. Once you tell the police what really happened…" he was repeating almost the same words he had said to her right before the car crash.

"What if it doesn't matter?" her voice seemed to hold a helplessness tone as if she had given up hope long ago.

"But what if it does?" he retorted. "Look Katie, for this whole thing to work you've got to start believing that you're not this evil person that needs to repent for the rest of her life, that needs to sacrifice herself for the mistakes she made. We all made mistakes and bad decisions, but you can start over and move on. Once you do that you can be happy."