Title: Angel's Lie Too
Author: Ipleainsanity
Summary: One-Shot. Every relationship has its ups and downs. Sometimes it's nothing more than a fight, while other times it turns into a revelation. But no matter the difficulties, it shapes who you are. Malik is given a second chance. RBxM
Author's Notes: I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this. It shows certain views on smiles that I wasn't positive would be appreciated. However, it was time consuming and thought out. Helpful advice is greatly appreciated, but flames are not.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugi-oh or any of their characters.
WARNING: This does contain yaoi, slash, whatever you wish to call it. That means maleXmale relations. I will not tolerate flames about homosexual relationships. You have been warned.
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Sometimes a smile is nothing more than a plea for everything to turn out alright. Sometimes a mask isn't really just a mask or a smile. It could be a haven from the world, or in actuality it could be what the person has turned into. A smile is often nothing more than a deceitful lie used to put people's hearts at ease in a difficult situation. A smile is more like a white lie than a promise for a better future. It's nothing but a lie…
"Get out!"
"But…"
"Please just leave."
"Will you just-"
"No, not again."
"You don't-"
"Care."
Deep mahogany clashed with lavender as they stared at one another. Lavender eyes blinked in confusion as they scanned the other man's frame for any hint at what he had meant.
"What?" he asked freezing instantly.
"I don't care. I just don't; not any more." The reply was soft and muffled by a slender hand.
"Ryou…please," he pleaded, lavender eyes turning a deep violet.
Ryou sighed, his whole body seeming to melt against the crimson wall. He closed his eyes and brought one hand up to shield him from the sight before him. Malik had come back, once again. He often disappeared for nights on end, but enough was enough.
"No," his voice was nothing above a whisper and just that single word caused his shoulders to go slack against the hard wall. Ryou removed his hand and opened his eyes. He paused briefly to allow them a brief moment to once again adjust to the dim lighting of the room. Continuous ticking pulsed throughout the silence of the shared apartment.
Without another word Malik turned in an attempt at leaving the snowy haired teen alone with his thoughts. As he reached the brass doorknob Malik turned back around and ran a golden hand through his spiky blonde locks. They returned to the original places and he gave a sad smirk at the other occupant. It wasn't supposed to be like this…
He paused in his thoughts, what was it supposed to be like? He knew that Ryou would break it off sooner or later, after all how many people would have put up with his late nights, constant disappearings and phantom phone calls for as long as Ryou had? No one, because he was always different like that; he never understood when it was time to voice his opinions. He never knew when it was time to stop lying.
"Was I really worth it?" Malik whispered as his eyes focused on a small empty table where one of Ryou's pale hands was resting. His slender fingers began to silently drum on the polished surface.
"I'm not sure," his voice sounded so torn.
Malik continued to focus on the slender digits, piano hands he had heard Yugi call them back when they had all been so close. The uneven rhythm began to slowly escalate into a frantic pattering of fingers against wood. He had done this to Ryou, made him into this nervous mess. Ripping his gaze away from his roommate's hand he chose to drop his gaze, instead, to the floor.
Ryou had been there for him, since the beginning. When he had come to the younger man without a place to stay he had given him a home with a warm smile and not a second thought. Ryou had been his angel and he had plucked each feather of spirit from his wings.
"I'm sorry…" Malik whispered. As soon as he had said those words he wanted to take them back. It wasn't the right thing to say, but then again he had never been careful with other people's feelings, it just wasn't him. He had always been too wrapped up in himself, in life, to care.
"Sometimes," the rhythmic pattering stopped, "sorry isn't good enough."
Footsteps muffled by the soft gray carpet drew closer and soon Ryou's white tennis shoes came into Malik's vision. It was just like him to dress for comfort rather than presence, just another fact that made Ryou the perfect person he was.
"It just isn't good enough…" His words were so soft, more like a breath than a statement. The same hand that had been tapping earlier lifted Malik's gaze gently to tired mahogany eyes; he was an angel who had lost its light.
"So sorry," The words came out before he could stop them. He shouldn't be apologizing any way. Ryou knew what he was getting himself into the day he agreed to let him stay. He watched as familiar mahogany eyes darkened to a near black as they searched for something only an angel could see.
"Are you really?" Time seemed to stop as Ryou's question hung in the thick air. He was giving him a second chance. Breathing began to fail Malik and suddenly he was sorry. Ryou didn't deserve the way he had treated him. He deserved…
"No." The hand keeping his eyes level with Ryou's dropped. Thin shoulders slumped in defeat as the shorter man turned his back to Malik.
"I trust you know where the exit is." He sounded so broken.
Malik watched as faded navy clad legs stood still for a moment before continuing with their unknown path. It all seemed so wrong.
"Ryou, wait." His gait faltered for a split second, but it was enough. He cared, perhaps to much.
"Gather your things and leave, Malik." Ryou's voice was strong, firm; the exact opposite of his posture as he disappeared into their once shared kitchen.
Angel's weren't supposed to lie. Their smiles were meant to be real, but every day he had smiled, and everyday it had been forced. Ryou had been everything he had hated in a person, and yet he could never get enough.
He was so kind, constantly smiling, always that damn pleasant smile. He was always there when things became too much. He was…everything. Lavender eyes widened as he ran that last thought over and over again through his mind.
"Everything," he whispered to the vacant room, and all he had to do to get it back was to admit it to Ryou.
Turning to leave he closed the large door softly behind him. The cold bite of December winds cut straight through his long sleeved black turtle neck and he regretted not grabbing his coat before he left. But it was too late to go back, too late to accept that second chance.
The door creaked open and Malik spun around quickly to come face to face with a concerned looking Ryou; clasped in his hands was a chestnut brown coat.
"You might need this," he smiled slightly as he handed the warm jacket over to Malik. Their hands brushed lightly against each other and Ryou frowned at how cold the other's hands were after so short a time.
Malik managed a quick thanks in response and quickly slid the coat on. It was much warmer than his shirt.
"Wait here." Malik blinked in surprise as Ryou left him standing in the door way. He returned a moment later carrying a dark brown scarf and matching gloves, which he handed over smiling sadly.
This scene was so familiar to Malik. Ryou offering him a coat and everything needed to keep warm; them standing at Ryou's door way, and finally the look of uncertainty that had appeared on the other man's face. But it was an ending rather than a beginning.
Malik carefully slipped on each item that Ryou had brought him and glanced back up at him. Ryou had yet to move from the door way and the warmth of the apartment was leaking out and mixing with the early morning chill.
"Ryou," Malik bit lightly at his bottom lip. It was something he had picked up while living with the white haired man, a nervous habit that he had yet to get rid of, "I…"
Words failed him and he noticed for the first time how close Ryou was to crying. It was just as difficult for him to throw Malik out as it was for him to be thrown out. He took several steps closer until they were just a few inches a part.
The warmth of the house and Ryou's soft breathing brought a light flush to his chilled features. He glanced down quickly at the small pink lips of his ex-roommate.
"I really am sorry." He whispered before bringing his lips harshly to those of Ryou's.
Warm lips moved easily against icy ones slowly heating them to equal temperatures. Ryou's hands moved of their own accord and soon they were threaded within Malik's golden locks. Everything about the other man felt like ice, but at the same time it seemed to do nothing for the consuming fire caused by those freezing touches.
Malik wrapped one arm tightly around Ryou's thin waist and brought the other to rest at the back of the warmer man's neck keeping them locked together. He could feel the heat of his skin penetrate the thin gloves as well as the shiver that ran through Ryou at the icy touch.
Angel's can feel too…
They broke a part with matching flushes. Snow flakes were beginning to collect in Malik's sandy hair and Ryou broke out into another uncertain smile.
"I never meant…I mean," Malik was hushed by a warm finger pressed lightly to his lips. He glanced back up in time to see Ryou smile sadly and shake his head.
"It's alright; we all are." His smile did not reach his eyes, "Would you like to come in?"
"If you're offering."
"I am."
Both men smiled at each other before Ryou stepped inside and pulled Malik with him. They sat together in the living room each consumed with their own thoughts.
Sometimes a smile can be real…it just takes someone really special to place it there. It takes someone who isn't afraid of the lies that surround them, someone who can be their everything, someone who has everything to lose…
"Everything," Malik closed his eyes as Ryou looked in his direction. He missed the soft content smile that passed across the other's face.
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There you have it. Reviews are loved and encouraged. Please feel free to send plenty my way. Who knows perhaps I'll write another.