Hello everyone! I know it's been a good few days since I could update, but finally here it is. I have a reliable computer now, so things should go at the same rate they were before. Here's chapter 7, I hope you like it. :)
7
The kink in his neck woke Anakin.
He tried to move his head to relieve the pain shooting up his neck, but there was no room to move it. Slowly he opened his eyes, not sure of where he was. He looked to the right only to come face to face with the cushion of a couch. He glanced to the left and saw Padmé's face.
She was still deeply asleep.
Stirring just a little, so as not to wake her, Anakin tilted his head up to see what his body and the Force already told him. He and Padmé were inextricably intertwined, a jumbled mess of limbs. Leaning back, Anakin took a deep breath.
Despite the kink in his neck he realized that he had slept the better that night than he had in years. Out of reflex, he gave Padmé a small squeeze with the arm that was still wrapped around her. With the slight movement his hand erupted in stinging pain. Anakin winced and realized that Padmé's weight cut off his circulation. He sank back into the Force, willing the blood vessels to open up and allow blood to flow to his hand.
The blood flowed then suddenly stopped.
His hand was no longer there.
Anakin started. He could no longer feel his hand; it did not exist to the Force. Freezing for a second, he glanced to his right.
Five pink fingers rested on Padmé's arm. With a frown he moved them, and satisfied they were in fact attached to his hand, which was still on his arm, he tried again to will the blood back into it. Instantly the sensation of pins and needles surged in his hand, but he welcomed the feeling. It meant that life was flowing in him.
Mentally, Anakin cursed the thought of having to go back to the Jedi Temple. For now he just wanted to lie here and be close to Padmé. Pushing the Jedi from his mind, he thought back to the previous day, about everything that led him here.
A dull ache rested in his heart for his mother, but he forced that aside.
In the current moment, there were more pleasant things to focus on. He remembered coming into the apartment, seeing Obi-Wan here, and collapsing on the floor in front of Padmé. The memory became a little blurry at that point; it was just a jumbled mess of him sobbing and her holding him in her arms. And then…
The single act that led Anakin to his realization of his feelings for Padmé.
That was something he would not forget.
Being a Jedi, Anakin did not know much about romantic love. He had seen couples fall under its graces in the holofilms, but no one around him was in a loving relationship as it was forbidden by the Code. There was no one he could talk to about how he felt, no one that would understand.
He certainly was not about to tell Padmé about his feelings – Anakin was not sure how she felt about him. She said that he had grown up, but how much of that was her being polite? Thinking it over, something scared Anakin about falling in love. It was more than just the possibility of rejection; rather, it was something on a fundamental level that frightened him.
He was a Jedi. Jedi did not love romantically. Loving someone…that could lead to lots of possibilities, and most of them not to his best interests.
"Padmé? Padmé?" he whispered softly.
"Mmm." She stirred in her sleep.
He gave her a gentle shake and she opened her eyes. For a second they struggled to focus on his face.
"Anakin?"
"I'm sorry to wake you…I – I should go…" he said quietly. "I have to get back to the Temple before Obi-Wan starts to wonder where I am."
"Huh?"
"I should be going."
"Why?"
"Because I have to."
Padmé sighed, nuzzling her head against Anakin's chest. "I don't want you to go."
"I know. I don't want to go either. But I have to."
She rolled over and got off the couch so he could leave. Anakin sat up and rubbed his eyes. His hair was messed, tufts of it sticking out in odd places, after having been soaked and then left to dry while sleeping on the couch. Padmé watched him get up off the couch, stretching out his long limbs.
Steadily he moved to the door, determined to not look back.
This is something that cannot happen again, he kept telling himself, over and over. It ends when I walk out this door.
Anakin reached out to open the door.
"Wait! Anakin!" The Queen darted over to stand next to him. "Will you come back?"
Anakin turned to face her, a knot forming in his throat. "Padmé, I…I have to go. I don't know when I'll come back."
Padmé recoiled from him, and he could see the shock on her face. "What? Just like that you never want to come back?"
"That's not what I said! I don't know when I'll come back – not that I won't ever."
Blast, what's gotten into her? Anakin cursed to himself, closing his eyes. His hand still rested on the control panel to the door. He sighed. Get hold of your feelings. You're a Jedi.
Padmé looked at him, pleading. "So you just come over here whenever you need some help, is that it? Whenever something comes along that big Master Jedi can't handle, he has to go and use other people?"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You just come over whenever you want, and you start acting like you don't care about my feelings. Things have changed. And you're just going to walk away from it all like that!"
"What?" Anakin stopped, unsure of what to say to her outburst. His mind raced in an attempt to figure out how things deteriorated to this point. "I'll have to go back to the Temple and figure it out. I just know I can't stay here."
Before the moment could get any more awkward, he opened the door to leave the apartment. This was just too much right after his mother's death.
"Why! Just tell me WHY Anakin!"
He stared at Padmé as if she were daft. Did she not know of the Code, that Jedi were not allowed to love in the form of romantic attachments? They swore a life of allegiance to the Force, there was no room for earthly love.
"Why? I'll tell you why: The Code. The Jedi Code forbids it. Now please, before you make things worse let me go. It's already hard enough. Just let me go."
"Fine! Just go!"
Anakin tried to resist the urging of the Force to stay next to her. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to make a step through the doorway and into the hallway. However, he before he could actually move, Padmé came up behind him and pushed him, letting out another "Fine!" He stumbled out of the apartment, completely shocked at her action. As soon as he was in the hallway, Padmé slammed the door behind him. He could her let out a yell of frustration at him.
Taking another deep breath, he sank against the wall of the hallway, burying his face in his hands. He stood there for a few seconds, too surprised at Padmé's anger to cry, but hurt nonetheless. For a fleeting second he wished he could just make people do what he wanted, so things would just go right. After a couple minutes of sorting through his thoughts, he left the building to make his way back to the Temple.
In his room Anakin collapsed on the bed. So far there had been no sign of Obi-Wan, for which Anakin was thankful as he had no idea what to tell him. He had excuses aplenty, all of which did him no good whatsoever. Obi-Wan would know they were lies.
Maybe he could just tell Obi-Wan the truth and get it all sorted out now.
Like that would go over well.
Obi-Wan would tell him one thing: his feelings for Padmé were forbidden and would land him a lot of trouble with the Council, perhaps even result in his expulsion from the Order.
A lot of good that would do him.
Just then, a knock sounded on his door.
"It's open," Anakin called out dully.
"Anakin?" Obi-Wan said, stepping quietly into the room.
Anakin didn't say anything.
"I sensed you were back…I just stopped by to see if you were okay. I was worried about you." Obi-Wan's face twisted into an expression of concern for the younger Jedi.
It's Kenobi's fault…the message from Palpatines's words bounced around Anakin's head again. With a sigh, still facing the wall, he started to tell Obi-Wan the result of his trip.
"I got there…and I was too late. Someone started a fight in Jabba's Palace and she got caught in the middle of it and died. It was all just pure chance," he said. He hated the words as they came out of his mouth, they sounded dead and hollow. He sat up to look at Obi-Wan.
Unsure of what to say, having no idea if his own family were still alive or not, Obi-Wan put his arm around his Padawan and pulled him next to him in a brotherly hug.
"I'm sorry…is there anything we can do? Anything at all? I know your mother meant a lot to you."
Anakin shook his head.
There was nothing that Obi-Wan could do now, nothing that any of the other Masters could do. It was done and over, in the past. He looked back up at Obi-Wan, another question on his mind.
"Why are the Jedi forbidden to love, Master?"
Obi-Wan sighed before answering, knowing that Anakin had stayed the night with Padmé. He forced himself to believe that Anakin was not doing anything that would compromise his vows to the Order.
"Over the years, the Code has been altered so it is better able to fulfill the needs of the Jedi, and so that we may serve the Force better. One of the Lost Twenty was expelled because of love."
"How?"
"Legend says that the Jedi fell in love with a beautiful woman – two Jedi fell in love with her, in fact. Anyways, they both became overcome by their love; it became an obsession for the both of them. They ended up dueling over the woman, and one of them killed the other.
"The High Council held a meeting about this matter, deciding that perhaps it was best for all Jedi to give up romantic attachments. Because he let his love go into obsession, and then fueled by his anger at the Council for expelling him, the last of the Lost Twenty fell to the dark side. Desperate and consumed by his obsession, he killed himself after striking her down, still believing that she had betrayed him by falling in love with the other Jedi."
Obi-Wan finished, and there was a second of silence as Anakin took in what he said. Finally, Anakin found a voice with which to respond.
"But not all the Jedi that have fallen in love turned to the dark side. Surely there had to be those that remained good, doing even greater works because of their love."
"I don't know Anakin…I just know that after that the High Council decided to forbid it. Perhaps they were afraid of another such incident occurring again – only with more disastrous results. Love is tricky, while it can start out with good intentions things can twist it so it does more harm than good."
"I thought Jedi were supposed to show unconditional compassion, an element so essential to love," Anakin said, He spread his arms apart to indicated the entire galaxy. "I mean, by showing compassion, a Jedi shows loves for all things."
"Exactly, my young Padawan. Caring and compassion for all things is a form of love. Jedi are not entirely forbidden to love, they are encouraged to love all. By loving all, then there is no question that any one being or thing is in a status above others.
"As you know, the Code forbids Jedi from placing status and importance on things – all is sacred to the Force. By forming one attachment to a single person, you place that person above all others, violating the law of the Force that all is sacred. Does that make sense to you?"
Anakin chewed on the inside of his cheek, thinking. After a second he nodded. He supposed it made some sense. Loving one person, a Jedi could come to place unwarranted value on them, but perhaps there could be ways to love another yet still hold true to the ways of the Force. It was impossible for him to deny the incredible sensation he felt from the Force when he was with Padmé.
"Are you going to be alright?" Obi-Wan asked. He gave Anakin a couple pats on the shoulder.
"Yeah, I think so." Anakin looked down at his hands and knotted his fingers together.
"Give me a call if you need anything. You know I'm here." Obi-Wan stood up, crossing his arms across his chest. He walked across the room and before he stepped out, he turned back and said, "Be mindful of your feelings, I would hate for something bad to befall you because of them."
With that he pulled the door shut behind him. Anakin watched it close, feeling even more confused than ever.
General San Hill paced his private quarters on his flagship Driving Force. Any second now he would receive a transmission, and so he paced in order to keep calm. The holoimage of the Sith Lord always made him uncomfortable. To put it frankly, he downright feared the man.
The sound of the holoemitter humming made him turn around. The blue image of the cloaked Sith Lord rested on his desk.
"I have a plan for your next battle," Sidious said in his deep voice. "The Jedi will fight, I will make sure of that, but fear not. You will be victorious."
General Hill nodded, saying, "Yes my Lord. What exactly is your plan?"
"You will attack the small world of Kashyyyk."
"The homeworld of the Wookiees, sir?" General Hill said as his eyebrows rose in disbelief. He did not like the idea of taking on the fearsome Wookiees.
"You dare to question me?" Darth Sidious hissed.
"No, no of course not my Lord." As he said the words, the General straightened so he stood tall and firm. Showing fear in front of the Dark Lord was the first thing he learned expressly not to do.
A moment of silence ensued.
"You are to make your way into the Kashyyyk system, and take the planet. Once you have done so, you are to start integrating the Wookiees into your factories. They will make most excellent workers."
"You mean enslave them?" General Hill said dubiously. Slavery was something he was quite uncomfortable with.
"I mean what I mean. And you shall do as I say. The Republic will begin to make preparations for long-term war, despite the fact that they are split over even fighting it. In a month you shall make your final attack.
"Furthermore, since you seem to despise the work you do, even as it is your chosen craft, you may thank your friends in the Techno Union who unleashed this scourge on the galaxy when they discovered the science of cloning."
Sidious paused.
"You had best heed my orders if you wish to survive."
"I understand, My Lord. One question, if I may?"
Assuming the silence meant he could continue, General Hill asked, "Do you have any specific means by which you would wish us to carry out the attack?"
"You are a General, are you not?"
"Yes, My Lord."
"Then…I trust that you shall use the intelligence you have been given and figure out a suitable plan. I have matters I must attend to on Coruscant. It is not my place to make war. You are the general, that is your job."
"I…understand clearly, My Lord."
"Good."
The Sith Lord cut the communication and his blue image disappeared.
General Hill sighed to himself. Part of him longed to turn the forces at his command against his allies. After all, the Techno Union, creators of most of the major technological breakthroughs employed in the galaxy, did unleash the science of cloning. Sidious was right – it was a scourge on the galaxy that they were directly responsible for.
As a man of the military, General Hill pretended to be ignorant of the political happenings on Coruscant – and the schematics of that crazy man, Count Dooku. He was Sidious's influence on the Senate, having managed to keep himself free of Sidious's wrath even after the near disaster of Ansion. Dooku worked to sow fear into the Republic senators, but Hill knew that the real advantage was on a system by system basis.
Many of the planetary governments in the galaxy ran on fear.
Even the Republic ran now on it – selling fear of Separatist attack and anarchy under Separatist rule to its people.
General Hill knew that fear was good for business. It made people flock to the military. Not to mention the side benefit of wars breaking out, when fear ran too far, which gave him something to do.
Sitting at his desk, the General shook his elongated head. He wondered why Sidious would choose to attack Kashyyyk now – there were so many other important targets that could be taken. After all, the Separatists now controlled the greater part of the Corellian Run. Hill had known for months now that Corellia would be a prime target.
Not to mention the fact that a greater part of the Republic's fleet came from the Corellian Engineering Corporation.
And if you really wanted to hurt the Republic in terms of their strength, Kuat, just a short jump away from Commenor, would be better. Everyone knew the Kuatis provided the Republic with the dreaded Star Destroyers.
Or, as the Republic liked to euphemistically call them, assault cruisers.
Hill snorted at the thought. Forcing his mind away from the armaments of the Republic navy, which now had a permanent training center and was no longer strictly voluntary, he pulled up a file on Kashyyyk.
Lord Sidious commanded an attack there and so it would be.
The file came up, and Hill began to read it only to realize that it was in fact the wrong planet. His computer had come up with something quite different: a planet in the extreme backwaters of the galaxy. Just behind Hutt space, beyond Kessel, lay Honoghr.
"Honoghr," Hill read aloud to himself. For a second he puzzled over why his computer displayed this file instead of the one he requested.
Scanning it for a second, having never heard of the system, Hill found it to uninteresting. No wonder he never heard of it till now, the natives were a rural people, hardly civilized by galactic standards. Moving on, Hill reentered the request for information on Kashyyyk into the computer.
This time the computer complied and pulled up the right file for him.
As he looked the data over he realized that this would be even duller than a seminar on "Shooting a Blaster: Aiming 101" for his men. Sidious was not one to conduct a war.
The planet was mostly forested with tall worshyr trees. The Wookiees lived in villages in these trees. For the most part they employed the natural environment around them for technology – off-planet ships made of metal creating a sharp contrast to the smooth fauna covering the planet. The most daunting thing he found was that the Wookiees did in fact use blasters and were ruthless when provoked.
His troops would love this one.
Closing the document, Hill leaned back in his seat and tapped his fingers together thoughtfully.
Looking around the room, he decided that he needed a change. The walls were still the sterile white that came factory standard. Few furnishings were in the room, just his desk and a tall bookcase containing history files of ancient civilizations. History, Hill believed, was the key to winning any major offensive.
Mistakes learnt by previous civilizations were best remembered, and those not learned were best understood in the future. Civilizations rose and fell because they failed to recall the lessons taught by history.
The same ruled true on the battlefield.
Hill looked around the room again. Now that he really thought about it, he did not understand how he could have lived in such dreadful quarters these past three years.
Blue. He would have the room painted a deep blue. And he would have holoimages of famous battles placed on the walls.
Yes, the change would be very nice. And such a blatant display of war would make his Neimoidian counterparts nervous. They dreaded the business so – that was how Naboo happened ten years ago. Already that seemed ancient history.
At least Darth Sidious seemed to have learnt his lesson from that disaster, and immediately sought out someone of a military mind to be his major counterpart.
Kashyyyk.
Hill had an attack to plan.
Corellia. Kuat. The other names bounced around his head. Honoghr.
Perhaps he could do something with more than just Kashyyyk alone. A smile crept onto his face. Yes. The Republic deserved nothing less.
Yoda concentrated on the Force, sinking deep into his meditation. Reaching out, he felt the hustle and bustle of the Temple and the surrounding area, then Coruscant, and finally further out into the galaxy.
Except that about a third of the galaxy was shrouded in wrongness.
The Clones.
The Separatists were creating more and more clones by the day, and it was making the Force all the more difficult to feel in the areas they occupied. Yoda could feel the life of each clone, but the way that life resonated in the Force disturbed him, his senses dulled by their presence.
Trying to feel beyond the sense of wrong, Yoda reached out through the Force even more. What he found shocked him:
Darkness.
A definite spot of darkness clouded everything behind the clones. As he felt it, the darkness grew stronger, pushing him away. Yoda probed back only to receive a stronger shove in return.
And suddenly Yoda was back in the Temple, out of his meditation.
Opening his eyes, Yoda sighed audibly. These times were getting increasingly clouded. Never before had the Jedi Order encountered something like this in the Force. Now that there was darkness out there, meaning only one thing – a Sith lord – Yoda was even more concerned. Getting off his meditation seat, he hobbled out of the chamber to discuss his findings with Mace Windu.
Lowering his lightsaber, Anakin switched it off so that the blue blade disappeared. He panted, desperate to put oxygen back into his lungs. The older Jedi looked him overwith mild surprise on his face.
"Are you alright Anakin?" Obi-Wan said. "You've been distracted for the past few days, and I've never seen you tire so quickly in a long time."
The Padawan eyed his master, thinking over what to say. He was still struggling with the death of his mother, and with it the feeling that the Jedi were at fault. On top of that, he had been feeling something in the Force that disturbed him. He didn't know what to think of it.
Then again, these days there were a lot of things that were disturbing him in the Force. Padmé…his mother…the clones…
Anakin shook his head. He could not let himself dwell on any of them.
"I just…" Anakin stopped, not sure how to tell Obi-Wan half of the things on his mind.
"Anakin, the only way to work through your feelings is to acknowledge them. You can't bury everything," Obi-Wan said. Instantly he regretted how dogmatic he sounded.
"I don't know Master. I just can't seem to let go of my mother. Now I have dreams about her, about how she might have died. And each time I dream about her, she dies in some more horrible way…" he said, his voice choking as he spoke.
Obi-Wan stepped over to his Padawan. "Did you get so see her at all?"
Anakin shook his head, staring at the ground. "No. They gave me nothing but the news of her death."
Unable to think of a response, Obi-Wan merely nodded.
"Do you think going back–"
"No," Anakin said. He eyed Ob-Wan steadily, allowing no room for argument.
Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows in surprise. Never had he heard Anakin sound so resolved. Unless his ears deceived him, he thought he detected slight anger in the Padawan's voice.
"Sorry, Master…it's just that I never want to go back to Tatooine. In fact, I never will. There's nothing there for me now. It is the past, after all."
Again Obi-Wan found himself startled at the words coming from Anakin. They sounded like the words of a master – a Jedi in charge of his emotions and able to let go of the things that passed out of his life. Still, he sensed something more sinister lurking beneath the surface.
He looked Anakin in the eye, and the young man looked unflinchingly back at him.
"Is there anything that brings you peace?" Obi-Wan asked tentatively.
"Well…Padmé. Aside from you, Master, she's the only friend I have – Barriss is embedded somewhere out there with some unit, she hasn't been home for months. And, you're not really a friend, but more like a father."
"You tease me," Obi-Wan said, a smile coming onto his face. "You say that just to keep me complacent."
"It's true, Master."
"I know, I know. I just like to keep you on edge." Obi-Wan looked at his apprentice. He knew that Anakin was quite alone aside from himself. "Perhaps it would do you some good to get out of the Temple some. The Force knows even I could use a break at times…"
"Really?" Anakin's face lit up, no hint of the darkness remained.
"I don't see the harm it could bring. I think a change of scenery would do you some good."
"What would Master Yoda say?"
"Do you think that we have to go to Master Yoda for every little thing? My young Padawan, I am charged with looking out for you. I don't want to have to make it an order, or bring it before the Council." Obi-Wan smiled slyly, and Anakin knew that Obi-Wan meant that Yoda would probably not approve. However, as long as Yoda did not find out…
Anakin smiled.
"Yes, Master," he replied brightly.
"Now get out of here, you scoundrel."
"Right away, Master!"
Anakin clipped his lightsaber to his belt, and darted out of the room. Shaking his head at the boy's exuberance, something he had not seen for several days, Obi-Wan thought about giving him one last word – reminding him to be mindful of his feelings and his pledge to the Jedi Order. He decided against it though, feeling that it would dampen Anakin's much-needed happiness.
"Obi-Wan?" Mace Windu called out, stepping into the lightsaber practice room.
Obi-Wan turned around, startled.
"Master Windu, what can I do for you?"
"I just wanted to talk to you about a few things…where is your apprentice?" Mace eyed the room, having felt Anakin in here just a few seconds ago.
"Oh, I sent him on a few errands for me. I thought some fresh air out of the Temple would be good for him. He's been feeling so poorly for the past few days."
Obi-Wan tried his best to keep a straight face. He knew the older Master would not approve of the leave that he just gave Anakin. At the same time, it was true that Obi-Wan almost had to order Anakin to go, so what he told Mace was not exactly a lie.
Either way, Mace did not let on that he knew of the deception.
Instead Mace nodded, crossing his arms. "We need your presence with us over in the Senate building. Supreme Chancellor Palpatine needs to speak to us about something. Yoda and I thought it best if you two came with us, but if young Anakin's not here..."
"Alright. Let's go."
Obi-Wan walked past the other Jedi, heading to the speeder hangar. He wanted to get this meeting over and done with. Dealing with Chancellor Palpatine always gave him a bad feeling.