Disclaimer: I don't own the X-men, Marvel does. I wish I was so lucky.
A/N: Ok, so I suck at accents, so don't expect any. Besides, in the comics recently, Rogue and Gambit seemed to have lost much of their southern accents. As for Nightcrawler and his German accent, well I'd suck at it and I don't want to botch it and have people become annoyed, so just use that wonderful imagination of yours instead!
The next forty eight hours were a little surreal for the not-so-merry mutants. The initial shock came from everyone trying to figure out why Cyclops of all people did not put his foot down about going on vacation. Betsy summed it up to Scott wants to get laid in some place that was not a mansion full of children where evil mutants and psychotic A.I. programs do not attack left and right. Rachel and Kitty swore Emma had messed with his mind, saying Emma had pushed his "bliss buttons" while projecting images of them having hot, sweaty sex in a hotel room. After hearing that Bobby mused that may Cyke wanted to become a member of the mile high club. Alex reamed him for immaturity and Bobby shot back by saying he was just sensitive because he was getting nasty visuals of Emma and his brother getting it on in the bathroom. Storm chided everyone for these silly assumptions, saying maybe his decision was not based upon sex, but maybe trying to solve the problem of tension and strain among the teams. Most everyone believed it was for sex. Come on, he was only dating the hottest female in the house and she oozed sex just as much as the resident Cajun did.
So the women decided to take a girls trip into Manhattan and go shopping for their new trip. Those who had girlfriends were happy they didn't have to tag along. The ladies hit all of the best stores and, due to the suggestion of Emma who was dropping hints about the weather and environment, bought everything from lacy lingerie to sexy dresses to designer Bikinis. Good thing they brought two vehicles because by the time they left Manhattan, the ladies were pleasantly cramped by their purchases. The men on the saved their money for whatever vices they could indulge in.
Emma made it a point to tell Nathan and Samuel Guthrie that it was high time they received sometime off. She also made sure to point out that since they were part of the X-family that they needed to get to know the children at the institute. She explained, in a matter of fact tone, that these children would eventually replace the current roster of X-Men and sibling groups in time, and maybe they needed to learn the ropes from other leaders as well. Due to coaxing from Samuel and Rachel, Nathan finally gave in, on the condition that the only time he came into contact with the "rug rats", was during training sessions that he supervised. The deal was made and the curriculum was set. Emma made Nathan and Danielle substitute co-headmasters. Emma told Danielle not to let Cable push her around, to which Dani smirked and said she had no problem showing Cable how things really worked at the institute. As much as Emma and Dani did not like each other, they had a mutual respect for one another. Emma felt that one day Dani was going to make a fine headmaster of the institute.
When the day arrived for the team to leave, excitement and anticipation filled the air in the mansion. For the students, it was substitutes that they could boss around and trick. For the adults it was a well deserved vacation, even though they still had no clue as to where they were going. Emma pulled out all the stops and said that they would be picked up by limos. The men watched in growing fear as the luggage for the women grew into a small mountain. Upon eying the growing heap Bobby turned Kurt, who was mesmerized by the pile, and asked "Do you remember what happened to that one chic, the R&B star, who had too much luggage on her personal jet?" Kurt turned and looked at him, eyes glazed, "no," hesitated. "Her name was Alleyah. The pilot told her that there was too much weight on the plane from all of the baggage." They turned to see Remy lighting a cigarette. After he exhaled he continued, "She told the pilot to take off anyways. They ended up crashing and everyone died. Pretty neat, huh?" Kurt blinked and Bobby just smirked. "Where did you learn that? I didn't figure you for an R&B type, G-man." Remy raised an eyebrow. "Sometimes I can't sleep so I watch VH-1 or MTV. That shit will either put you to sleep or turn your brain into melted cheese." Bobby gave him a sly grin, "Riiiiiiiiight. You just say that 'cause you don't want to admit that you watch the Real World and the Surreal life." Remy smiled back "I only watched the season with Ron Jeremy in it. He's my hero." Bobby couldn't help but laugh. Kurt looked at both of them and asked "Who's Ron Jeremy?" "What!" Bobby exclaimed, "you don't know who Ron Jeremy is!"
"Should I?" Kurt inquired. Bobby shook his head and called to Hank. "Hey Hank, you know who Ron Jeremy is, right?"
Hank, who was helping the chauffer pile bags into the trunk of the limo, looked up caught off guard on the question. "Why?" He asked cautiously. "It's ok Henri, just say yes or no," Remy replied. Hank looked at Bobby then Remy, then back to Bobby before shaking his head. "Yes, I know who Mr. Jeremy is." Bobby didn't stop the questions there. "Hey Mr. Chauffer guy, do you know who Ron Jeremy is?" The chauffer glanced at Bobby with an annoyed look, "The name is Jack and yes I do, who doesn't." Kurt was starting to look perplexed and a little annoyed. "Ok, so I guess I've lived under a rock when it comes to this Ron Jeremy. Just tell me who he is already." Bobby gave Kurt a wide grin before looking to Remy, "You want the honors Remy, since he is you hero and all." Remy smirked "Sure why not. Y'see Kurt, Ron Jeremy was a popular porn star back in the seventies. He was popular because he had one of the biggest cocks in the business. He was ugly as sin, but he sure knew how to break the ladies in." Kurt looked at Remy, horrified by his casual, yet some what crude answer. Bobby just started to laugh. "Well I guess that is the best way to explain it" Remy continued, "He does a lot of indie films and stuff now. I've seen him in Boondock Saints, Orgazmo, and Terror Firmer."
"I've seen Boondock Saints," Kurt replied, "who was he in that movie?" "He was the bad guys' right hand man. Got his ass capped in a nudie booth." Bobby answered. "Ohhhhh, That guy was ugly. I can't believe he was a porn star." "Still is." Remy said. "Kurt let this sink in before stating "Well if a guy like that can be in the business, then I'm sure to be the greatest. After all I have a tail that can be put to good use." Remy raised his eyebrow and Bobby's jaw dropped. As everyone knew, Kurt was a pious catholic. He even at one point in his life studied to be a priest. For Kurt to make a comment like that was just a little strange. A few second of silence hung in the air before Bobby asked, "Dude, can I be you agent?" Remy and Kurt broke out into laughter followed by Bobby. "I'm sure you'd be a pimp in the business, Kurt." Bobby replied "The ladies would be lovin' that velvety fur that adorns you whole body." Remy seemed to be staring into space. "Hey dude, what's up with the vacant look?" Bobby inquired. "I'm trying to get a visual. Yup, there it is." Remy smirked, "I think I'd be cool with it up until the tail, and then I'd have nightmares." "Ha ha ha." Kurt said sarcastically.
Meanwhile Kitty, Peter, and Rachel hung out by one of the two limos having a light conversation about where they could possibly be going and what they would do if they were there.
"I hope it's a place where I can get a tan. It would be nice to come back to the east coast with a beautiful tan in the middle of autumn." Kitty said wistfully. "Mmm, a tan sounds nice. Wish I could tan, all I do is burn." Rachel replied sadly. "Silly girl, that is what tanning booths are for!" Kitty laughed at her usually grumpy friend. The growing strain between her and Rachel had been a saddening event. Rachel showed obvious jealousy to Peter and Betsy's resurrection. Rachel just wanted to be around when her mom was around, which seemed to never happen. The mention of a vacation had brightened her spirits considerably. "What about you Peter? What do you hope for?" Kitty asked the tall and handsome Russian. Peter thought about his answer for a moment and spoke. "I just hope it is a place where I can sleep peacefully without teenagers running around in the halls screaming at the tops of their lungs at two in the morning on a Saturday." Kitty and Rachel giggled at the answer. "Aww, come on Petey. We were teenagers once and we used to run around at two in the morning screaming on a Saturday." Kitty said affectionately. "Yes," he stated, "but that was usually due to the Beyonder breaking down the doors or swarms of angry Morlocks flooding in through the tunnels." "Yeah." Rachel sighed, "Those were the good old days, when the enemy was less complicated and actually had some intelligence. Now and again I find myself wishing we were battling Freedom Force over some of the psychos we deal with today." Kitty and Peter looked at Rachel with some surprise. "Freedom Force? Are you mad? They had the Blob in their ranks. He was so disgusting. I swear the guy took a shower once a month and he had the worst farts. He was just smelly." Kitty wrinkled her nose at the thought. "Not to mention Mystique and Spiral," Peter chimed in, "they were two of the most unstable women I had ever seen. "Yeah, I suppose, but they were…well…comical." Rachel replied. Kitty and Peter looked at her with disbelief. "Aw, come on. Don't tell me that you didn't laugh to you self after a battle about the fact that you had just battled a government group that consisted of a pyromaniac, a six armed woman, a blind woman, an overcompensating lug, a sleazy shape shifter, and a guy that could possibly be the poster child for over eaters anonymous?" Kitty thought about it, "Well…." "Not to mention the fact that the only one who seemed to have brains on the team was a woman, and she had three very chauvinist, insipid men on her team." Rachel added. "I used to get a kick out of Pyro trying to be humorous and sounding like he belonged in a special education class." Kitty stated. "I have to admit, watching Blob trying to be a tough guy, and then whining when he got so much as a splinter was quite amusing." Peter added. They all sighed in contentment at the old memories. "Like I said, I miss the good old days."
Betsy, Ororo, Logan, and Lucas emerged from the front of the mansion. Once outside, Betsy stretched her lithe frame and sighed. "Mmm, after being dead for a spot, a vacation sounds like the perfect thing to rejuvenate my formerly rotting corpse." Ororo looked at her quite bemused "Betsy, aren't you looking at you return to life a little darkly?" Betsy turned and smiled, "Ororo, luv, death can be murder on the skin. Wrinkles, Bags under the eyes, horrible for the complexion. It is no way for a person to treat their body." She proceeded to put on her Jackie O. Chanel style sunglasses and walk over to Hank, who had finished helping the chauffer pack.
"She seems to be handling her resurrection as best she can", Ororo mused. "She's just covering her anger and fear with sarcasm, darlin'. It's affected her in more ways than one. I can smell it on her." Logan glanced in Betsy's direction before looking back at Ororo. Lucas shifted in the background. Both knew that Lucas had traveled with Betsy's astral form into the dreamtime, an aboriginal term for spirit world, after her death. While saying her goodbyes to Lucas, she was yanked by monstrous arms into a portal. Lucas remembers her fearful screams like it was happening now. Then out of the blue, Betsy's body reappeared in the same exact spot where Vargas had killed her in Barcelona. She blamed Lucas to what happened to her in the Dreamtime and her confusing resurrection. Sensing his uncomfortable shift, Logan spoke up "Don't worry Bishop, it'll take time but she'll get over it. That is what this vacation is for, to mend rifts and tears within the group dynamic." Ororo arched an eyebrow at her shorter companion "Does this mean you will try to repair the long standing rivalry between you and Scott." Lucas coughed sharply and Logan let out a loud laugh. "Darlin," he smiled "some things are just better left as is." They noticed movement and saw that Emma, Scott, Anna, Lorna, and Alex emerge from the front doors. "Well Kiddies, shall we get this show on the road?" Emma smiled brightly. Like kids on a field trip, the team scrambled to the two limos. Logan, Ororo, Lucas, Remy, Bobby, Lorna, Betsy, and Hank got into the first limo While Emma, Scott, Alex, Kurt, Rachel, Kitty, Peter, and Anna scrambled into the other. The ride to the airport was not eventful until the limos pulled up next to two private jets with 'Frost Enterprises' emblazoned on their sides. Once they emerged from the limos Bobby piped up "Party plane over there!" He pointed to the furthest jet. "Who's with me!" Remy put on his sunglasses and spoke up "Well if you don't mind a thieving, womanizing, heartless scoundrel on board, then I'm with you." Rogue snorted at his response but he basically ignored her and started towards the designated jet. Betsy followed Remy "I'd loved to get sloshed on Emma's tab." Rachel turned to Kitty, "Want to go have some fun?" "No, I don't think so. I'd like to not vomit on the ride to destinations unknown." "Suit yourself." Rachel headed over in Betsy's direction, giving a quick longing glance at Kurt, who was heading toward the non-party plane with Ororo. Logan put his arm around her "Y'know, your mom would probably want me to make sure you don't get too drunk, so maybe I should tag along." Rachel gave him a bright smile, "Liar, you just want an excuse to drink beer and be loud."
After some coaxing (and an argument with Alex about her well being) Lorna decided to join Bobby on, what was probably going to be a more interesting flight. Hank and Lucas also decided that the plane Bobby designated was going to be less boring, not to mention the fact there would be less estrogen on the flight.
The Flight out of New York had been uneventful. On the jet that Bobby had designated as "Pooper Central", Emma, Anna, Ororo, and Kitty sipped champagne and discussed what they were hoping to do on their vacation, even though Emma had yet to disclose their destination.
"Ah'm hopin' to meet a couple of semi-decent men wherever we are goin' and havin' a good ol' time," Anna proclaimed proudly. "So I take you and Remy are off again?" Emma asked while refilling her flute with the sparkling liquid. "The man hid the presence of my momma from everyone and he most likely slept with her. Ah think that counts as 'done'." She seethed. Ororo put a hand on her back, "As much as Remy's actions towards some things are questionable, do you really think he slept with Mystique, in the form of Foxx or as your doppelganger?"
Anna looked at Ororo sadly "Ah dunno. Ah always told him Ah trusted him, but it was just a lie to make him feel more secure, to drop his guard. Ah know it is selfish, but Ah wanted to see him slip. Ah figured a man like that never knew how to tell the truth, let alone to the woman he loved. Now with this whole Mystique issue, Ah just don't know. When he told me he wasn't goin' to apologize for somethin' he didn't do, Ah told him 'whatever' and walked away. Ah was expectin' the grovelin' any day now, but instead I get the cold shoulder. Ah figured he do the same damn thing he always does, but now, he's just blown me off, actin' like there is no 'us' anymore. So Ah'm figurin' if he's tryin' to guilt trip me, well, two can play at that game." There was nothing but silence between the four women and the only movement was the arch of Emma's eyebrow before she turned and looked out the window.
Meanwhile the men were occupying themselves with conversations of their own. "So, Alex, I've noticed the unbelievable tension between Lorna, Bobby, and yourself. Care to pour out all your feelings to your big brother?" Scott attempted to lighten his brothers' ever darkening mood of recent. Alex gave Scott a half hearted smile and replied "Care to talk about the trustworthiness of your lady love, Emma?" Scott put a hand over his heart in a mocking gesture, "Ouch, bro, you wound me." Alex ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "I don't know what to do Scott. I mean I know you've been in this situation before, with Jeanie and Logan, but you were the man that had the girl, not the one trying to take her away. Sad part is I was originally the one with the girl, and it was Bobby who was trying to get Lorna away from me. I let her go because a little boy saw his mother was lonely and I was healing, and put us together in a dreamscape so we would feel better. When Annie and Carter left the school I was lonely. Empty. I thought it was because Annie had left me without saying goodbye. I realized, after the battle with Golgotha, that the emptiness I felt was Lornas absence from my life, my heart. Basically what I'm trying to get at is how do you get through, get past, a mess that is so fucked up, it seems irreparable."
Scott stared at his brother than looked away. He looked at the floor for a few moments, and then returned his gaze to his brother, "Honestly?" Alex nodded his head, "Honestly." Scott looked back down at the floor and shook his head, "I don't know. This is something you and Lorna have to work out on your own." Alex lowered his gaze to the floor as well, "That's what I thought."
While serious conversation was explored on one jet, the drunken madness of vacation was progressing on another. To keep it short and sweet, Logan drank about 18 beers before deciding he was bored and taking a nap. Betsy, Bobby, Lorna, Remy, and Rachel decided to take shots of what ever intoxication liquid was present. Hank and Lucas watched them in fascination and then humor when their ability to think, reason, and speak degenerated. Lorna and Remy wised up and bowed out of the game, to save face. Both decide to sleep of the fuzz of alcohol before they landed. The inebriated trio spiraled into singing Queen and AC/DC tunes before Rachel turned green and threw up in a barf bag. At that point Hank and Lucas decided they had had quite enough, took the alcohol away, and locked it up. Betsy argued the point until she passed out in Hanks arms. After the partiers had either gone to sleep or passed out, Hank and Lucas decided to take the opportunity to play a quiet game of chess.