The Challenge

"Hey, Daniel. I got dinner all heated up."

Daniel accepted the offered pouch and went over to sit down on one of the fold-out chairs around the campfire. Sam was crouched by the fire, poking around in the hanging pot of boiling water, trying to fish out the rest of the pouches.

"What'd you say it was this time?" Daniel wondered, sniffing the bag suspiciously as he opened it.

"Um. Beef? Yeah. Beef."

"Beef what?"

Carter shrugged,

"I dunno, whatever you want. Use your imagination."

Daniel sighed, poking into the bag unenthusiastically with his plastic spoon.

"I swear, Sam, I don't see how you get used to this stuff."

Finally succeeding in retrieving the rest of the MREs from the pot, she smiled up at him.

"Who said I'm used to them?"

A loud voice suddenly echoed over their campsite,

"Heeey, is that my four-course dinner I smell?"

There was much crunching and snapping as Jack and Teal'c tromped their way out of the brushy undergrowth of the surrounding woods.

"Yes, it is! Smells good, Carter! Smells like . . ."

He took a few testing breaths,

"Beef stew, mashed potatoes, dinner rolls and maybe some peas. Oh, and don't forget that applesauce for dessert."

"Welcome back," Sam answered wryly, as the pair of them came to sit down on the other chairs. Teal'c announced,

"We have completed our perimeter check and have found no evidence for habitation."

Carter handed over a pouch to her CO and commented to Daniel,

"See, that's what I meant. You need to use your imagination for them."

Daniel just made a wry face as he ate from his pack, and Jack warbled on,

"Thank-you-very-much, Carter, looks wonderful, as usual. I don't know what we'd do without your culinary skills. Yeah, Teal'c and I didn't find squat. Right, Teal'c?"

The Jaffa eyed the Colonel as Sam handed him his MRE,

"I believe that is exactly what I just stated, O'Neill."

"Right. I just wanted you to say 'right'. It's a simple--"

"Right." Teal'c stated seriously.

Jack nodded,

"Ok, good. We're in agreement then."

"Indeed."

"Ok then."

Jack looked back to Carter and Daniel, who were watching the exchange in silence.

"What?"

Sam shook her head and opened her own packet,

"Nothing. So if everything checks out good, are we on for hiking into the canyon tomorrow?"

The Colonel answered as he dug into his food,

"Yep. Nice long walk out to Grand Alien Canyon . . . lots of fun sample-collecting in the sun. I can tell this mission's gonna be such a blast."

"This food does not appear to taste of the animal it was created from," Teal'c observed, sounding slightly concerned. Jack looked over to him and sighed. Daniel backed him up,

"See? Thank-you, Teal'c. I'm not the only one who thinks it's old."

The Colonel pointed his spoon at Daniel,

"You wanna trade? Cos mine's great, think I just got to the dinner rolls--"

"No, that's ok," Daniel mumbled in sarcasm. Jack just shrugged and continued to inhale his food, pretending it was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

"Do you think a watch out will be necessary tonight, sir?"

"Mm-hmph."

"What?"

Jack took a long swill from his canteen and then repeated,

"Yeah. Everything seems clear from the UAV and our sweeps, but I'd like to keep an eye out for just one more night."

He shot a gaze out into the towering alien trees.

"You know, just to be on the safe side. Too many trees here. Things are always popping out from the trees."

Sam smiled,

"I can do first watch, then. I'd like to finish going over the images the UAV snapped. There's several possible openings into the canyon, I'm hoping we come across the richest deposits on our first try."

Jack nodded in acknowledgment.

"O'Neill, you wished me to remind you to change the position of the tents."

"Ah! Yes, we need to do that. Somehow we managed to get them down on a rocky spot for the second time. I feel like I'm sleeping on a bed of nails."

"Ours is all right," Sam commented, looking over at the pitched tents. Jack shook his head.

"We have to shift them a good four feet to the right, it's perfect over there. There's just too many damn rocks around here, and these sharp little pinecone-things."

Daniel had been half-listening to the dinner-time chatter, but now he interrupted the conversation.

"Since we're moving stuff around, it shouldn't be too much trouble for me to switch tents."

"Switch to where, Daniel?"

"Oh, here we go again," Jack said in a warning tone. Sam looked from him to Daniel with a confused expression.

"To your tent, I can swap with Teal'c. Is that all right with you, Teal'c?" Daniel asked politely in the Jaffa's direction. He nodded.

"It is, DanielJackson."

"Thank you, Teal'c."

"But what for?"

Daniel didn't answer, his gaze just stopped on Jack. The Colonel looked partially annoyed and partially amused.

"He wants to get away from me," Jack answered for him, annoyed glare locked with Daniel's gaze.

"I don't know if you might have heard me yelling this morning, Sam--"

"Daniel, the nice folks back at the SGC heard you yelling this morning--"

"But Jack and I have had some . . . disputes lately over our sleeping arrangements--"

"It's not my fault your sense of humor died who knows how long ago--"

"It's not funny, Jack! It wasn't a joke, it was a-a, it was an attack! You--"

"It's a prank. And I was being practical, too."

"You jumped on me!"

Jack threw his hands up.

"Exactly! There's little else that gets you up in the morning!"

Daniel sighed patiently and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You winded me, Jack."

"Ok, look, I already told you I didn't mean to do that this time."

They fell quiet a moment. Daniel still looked pretty peeved.

"I said I was sorry about that! Jeez. You act like I shot you or something."

Daniel looked over to Sam, who had been watching their argument attentively.

"You see what I mean?"

Sam looked to her CO and commented,

"I'm glad I'm not a late sleeper."

Jack grinned at her and Daniel sunk back into his chair with a world-weary sigh, eyes cast skywards.

"You don't have to move, Daniel. I won't wind you next time. I'll be careful."

Daniel let his eyes slip shut and he answered the Colonel in a low, tired mumble.

"It's not so much the winding that bothers me Jack. It's just you've done it the same way for the past ten mornings off-world. It's starting to lose its humor value."

Sam shot him an accusing look.

"Wait a minute. Colonel, is he serious? You've been jumping on him for that long?"

"I wouldn't call it jumping. More like enthusiastically shaking."

"It was jumping, Jack."

The Colonel shook his head.

"It just felt like jumping to you. All I do is give you a little friendly shake."

Daniel opened his eyes.

"Shaking involves the arms. Not the entire body. On top of me."

"Ok, all right, fine, but it's a friendly jump."

There were a few muffled sounds from Sam, as she covered her mouth and gave a cough suspiciously near a laugh. Daniel was still gazing up at the sky, which was fading into a dark navy blue as daylight faded on the alien world.

"I know it's friendly, Jack, but it's leaving friendly bruises on me."

The Colonel shifted uncomfortably in his chair, possibly looking guilty for the first time.

"Ah, it is? You sure those weren't from-- Jaffa fights or whatever?"

"Why don't you just-- lay off on the jumping for a while. I'm getting tired of waking up the same way every morning."

Jack's eyes lit up, and he sat up a little in his seat. A slow smile spread across his face. Daniel started getting worried when he didn't hear a reply.

"Jack?"

He turned from the sky to look at the Colonel. He didn't like the look on his face at all. Oh, no.

"What's that? What are you thinking?"

His smile only increased to evil proportions.

"Jack!"

"Don't you worry, Danny," he replied in a none-too-assuring tone,

"I promise I won't jump on you again for the next few months. Barring any tactical maneuvers."

Daniel frowned thoughtfully.

"You'd think I'd find that comforting, but I don't."

"You just need a little variety, Daniel. I understand. Variety is the spice of life, and what have you."

"Variety?" Daniel echoed, looking quite worried now.

"Yeah. I won't bore you with the same old clichéd prank anymore, Daniel. From now on, you'll be able to appreciate my novelty and creativity."

"What are you going to do, sir?"

He nodded to his 2IC.

"Carter? I'll need you to take notes for the next few months. For a very important experiment of mine. And I'm going to call it . . . One-Hundred-and-One Ways to Wake Dr. Daniel Jackson."

Daniel gave a woeful moan and dropped his head in his hands. Sam exchanged a look with Teal'c. Jack clapped Daniel's back.

"Don't look so down, Daniel. What's the worst I can do?"