AN- I would suggest listening to 'Scars' by Papa Roach or 'fly away' by Lenny Kravitz while reading this chapter (or just any type of music). Personally, music helps intensify the meaning of the stories I read. If I wasn't so set on never doing a song fic, I'd put lyrics of the songs in this one. The lyrics relate to the emotions, add a lot of meaning, and contribute to depth...well in my opinion at least…

MUTE

Simplicity of a Four Letter Word
MereImage

Fear is relative. It leaves scars we can't cover, inside and out. Sometimes we don't even know they're there. That is true.

It flourishes in our hearts, our minds, our beings. At times, it has a mind of its own, pushing us into situations where our heart dies out and breathing seems more of a trivial thing. Many think love is the most powerful emotion to rule us all, especially our hearts.

But really, when do you hear of someone jumping off a bridge for love…wait. No…that wasn't a good example…or when someone dies of a broken hear- no, no. This isn't helping my case.

Point is, fear is something we will all share at some time or another. Yes, even myself. In fact, I fear fear. I fear for my friends if I should go out of control. When the world was coming to its demise because of my father, I dug deep within myself and pulled out a new fear I never knew could even exist. It was the first time in my life I utterly feared myself. Sure, fairy tells depict scenes in our heads about being our own worst enemy. It's just…everything looks different when it's up close and personal.

It's one of those points in your life where you feel like dieing on the spot, strangling yourself because you realize right then and there that you don't know who you are. Even now I am still lost inside this empty shell of mine, the cocoon I created with my overprotective spirits. I've been transforming slowly ever since, and for a long time now, I've been waiting to break free. To fly away, to crack-

-To change into something….

More…

….Me…..

I fiddled with my thumbs, fingers pressed against my forehead. Brooding silently to myself…single, alone, forgotten, misplaced, unaccompanied... nobody to give me the encouragement I often pretended to discard.

I pulled my head up, leaning back into the firm cushions of the couch. I didn't even let a sigh come forth…not on the outside at least. My mind wandered to the TV in front of me. I rarely watched television; I always said it makes you stupid. You have more brain activity when you're sleeping….but I feel like I didn't want to think about anything anymore either. I think I need to concentrate on something else…

Plus, it would give my something to do with my hands.

As ten minutes passed, I finally realized the art of channel surfing. I never stayed on any station longer than ten seconds.

As I was reading to put the controller down, I caught sight of the magazine just feet from me.

It must be Starfire's….didn't know she even knew how to read.

It fit perfectly in my hands, opening the magazine to the first random page. And sure enough, there before me was a quiz.

'How outgoing are you?'

Naturally my eyes rolled, but I couldn't resist from picking up the pencil nearest to me…

……………………………………………………….

I tallied up my score for the third time, frowning only slightly. Nineteen….

I flipped to the score sheet.

I read-

Score 0-26

It seems you have been taking one step forward, two steps back. You're one to be cautious but sometimes too much concern isn't healthy for anyone. Closing the door on opportunities will only result in staying in your comfort room. By creating these emotional blocks, your dreams will never become a reality.

I stopped to blink, but nothing more.

But it is equally important not to continue judging situations with careful eyes. Without fear and judgment, there is nothing to hold you back to doing reckless actions. However, one must be careful in interpreting. With fear holding you back, there is also no life to live. It is important to find the happy medium between the two and find the courage to be more daring.

Fear can save lives, and it can cause death. It is simply how you wish to look at it.

Find how fear can help you gain courage. That however, is something we can't tell you. It's something you must find on your own.

I brushed a bang from my face. My hair was getting rather…long. I brought both hands open palmed and placed them gently in my lap.

How can fear…be good?

I did a double take.

I must…not let fear control my life.

Without fear, there is nothing to hold us back, putting our lives at risk. With fear holding us back, we have no life to live.

I massaged my scalp, titling my head over the corner of the couch. I let my eyelids close.

My hood dipped from my face. In return, my cloak folded in on my form. The sunlight pouring heavily into the room deeply contrasted the dark, dark black settling along every track of color along my cloak.

Everything. Every part was black.

And I never noticed.

And no one else was there to notice it either.

I could have sworn someone brushed dainty fingers across my cheek. I never opened my eyes to find out.

I simply listened to nature's sounds going about around me. Undisturbed. It was the most peaceful I had felt in a long time. No alarms, no teammates, just….my soul free to fill every corner of that room, to occupy the world.

It's just a four letter word.

For some reason, I can't let it go. It's just a four letter word,

That's all.

It wasn't even fear.

Four letters…

Tara…

Sometimes I feel like I care too much. I wish I could let go. I wish I could move on with my own life. I wish I could break the shell that had plastered over me. I wish I could break from my cocoon. But I was afraid if I did…

….I would truly be alone.

It's just a four letter word.

Four letters,

That's all.