The Darkest Hour

By Ultima66

Chapter 6

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Each of us was put on this earth for some reason, and everyone's goal is always to find that true purpose.

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"It'll be alright. It's over now."

I heard a voice drift off. My eyes were still closed. I told myself this wasn't real, that it was all an illusion, that I still had a purpose. I raced through my brain, digging through all I had done.

I found nothing. Lying there, I lost my grip on life. Was it really over? Was the job really done? I was unsure. Mint was right, I erased nothing, I accomplished nothing, and I was left here, left for dead. No one was there anymore, no one to care. No one there, I was lost.

"Martel, come take me. I am sorry for everything I said, everything I did. MARTEL! DON'T TORTURE ME ANY LONGER! PLEASE!"

Thanks to her, I was finally human. But what came of that is not what I wanted. I felt pain: more pain than I have ever felt in my life. It wracked my soul, tore me apart from the inside. I was guilty, I was guilty, I was guilty.

"I can't hurt anyone... ever again. Mint, I owe this to you."

I picked up my sword, walked towards the village. As I knew, Martel had planned this, the villagers still were not here. I saw a deep red stain in the ground from far away. I knew that was what I was looking for.

Walking up to it, I saw her: Mint's body, covered in blood, dead and lifeless, her face pale and gaunt. I held my empty hand up to my chest. I closed my eyes and thought.

"Mint, you taught me a lesson that means more to me than anything, and I repaid you by your death. Please, I apologize, and I hope you accept."

I put my sword down and embraced her, my eyes still closed. Small amounts of blood dripped on me, but I didn't care. I put my head over her shoulder and cried. For the first time ever, I cried.

How long, I do not know. Perhaps it was a few minutes, perhaps it was an hour. Tears poured out, mingling with dry blood all over her body. I finally let go, the lifeless body dropping to the ground. I left my sword there next to her, a sign of respect, and a sign that I was not going to hurt another being ever again.

I looked around. Cless' body was nearby, and I knew that he would have wanted to be with Mint in death. I walked over to him, tears still on my face, and held him up, setting him gently next to Mint. I had to leave this place; there was nothing left here for me to do. I had righted some of my wrongs, and that was finally the task that I was inclined to do that didn't involve murder of an innocent individual.

Looking around the houses, I found a knife, sheathed, left out on a table. I looked at the intricate patterns. It was a good knife, and looking around the room, I knew who it belonged to. This was Chester's hunting knife. Everything I saw, everything I did... it all brought painful memories to me.

I knew what must be done. I knew there was only 1 way to right all the wrongs I had committed. I wandered around, wandered around the mountains, forests, plains. I had to get away from everything. Everywhere I went there were more and more memories of my evil. I had finally found the good buried deep inside me, but at what price? Were 6 lives really the price of self-discovery? Was it worth losing 6 of the greatest people that ever lived just to lose the one they saved? It just wasn't right, but what was right anymore?

I wandered for a long time. I knew the time would finally come, and I knew that time was now. As I took out Chester's beautiful knife and held it up to my chest I said a final three words.

"Yume... wa... owaranai..."

And that was it. My death. What should have happened a long time ago finally happened. It was horrible, and I felt pain beyond belief, but it felt right. For once in my life something felt right, and that's all I ever wanted.

And then, I floated away. That was my tale. That was the darkest hour. My life had ended, and that was all. I felt sad, but fulfilled. I felt like my heart was going to explode, and I felt like breaking down and crying as I did over Mint's shoulder, but I couldn't.

It was then that I heard a voice: the voice of a young woman, just like when I got up from after Mint's death.

"It had been... far too long. Welcome back."

"What? Who is it?" I said, "What's going on?"

Everything faded. Suddenly, the world appeared around me again. I was back in the forest, next to Yggdrasil. I held my hands up to my chest. No blood. What was going on? I was dead; this wasn't happening. There was no way I could be still alive.

Martel appeared in front of me. She had a faint smile, but she had no more anger left in her eyes.

"Do you know who you are? Do you know who you REALLY are?"

"Look, I'm sorry for all that I've done. You should have killed me long ago, and I don't blame you for wanting to torture me like this, but please... have mercy, Martel. I'm begging for it."

"Get up. I want you to know something," said Martel, "Young one, I created you. You were my son a long time ago. Your name was Akar, and you were to be the one that guarded the tree alongside me against people that were willing to hurt the mana supply of this world. Akar, you were made by me so long ago..."

"WHAT?" I yelled, not believing at all what I just heard, "There is NO WAY I was made by you. I am evil, and only you could change that. I could not have guarded the tree, I am not worthy. Please, Martel, don't tell me lies."

"It's not a lie. Around the time Dhaos arrived, he met with me to talk about his homeworld. I felt that the energy needed to help him may leave my great tree prone to attack, and we both used our energy to forge you, who we thought would protect the tree when we knew I couldn't. Dhaos was trapped away by the original heroes, and it seemed things couldn't be coming along worse for our bond. You began to question why you were around. Nothing was accomplished, and you grew restless.

"Then the day came when Dhaos was released. The ritual that released him both caused him to reign again and to become evil, and when the soldier that released him was killed by Dhaos, a spark found it's way to you. That spark manifested itself in you and eventually created a whole new being, bent on avenging Dhaos by killing his enemies. Does this sound more familiar now?"

"So... all those deaths..." I said, "Were because I wanted to avenge Dhaos? But he was evil. How could you trust him?"

"You shouldn't judge, Akar. Dhaos was as much of a great leader as I am. We both had the same goal. He was just so much more desperate for mana to save his planet than I was that he took action, and I sadly didn't," said Martel, "It made it easy for Dhaos to have the strength to challenge everyone. Remember, Dhaos is one of the main reasons I am alive today. If he didn't stop the mana cannon in Midgard, I would have been killed by the drain of mana. I would have died, and left you there, free to continue what you did. Do you understand why Dhaos means so much to me now? Why do you think I made his body into a mana seed to nourish and care for his entire planet?"

"Mother Martel... I'm just so confused..." I said. The words brought a smile to her face, as she knew I saw her in a new light now.

"That's not the first time I've heard those words from you," she said, "Do you know of a certain letter you left behind in the valley after Arche's death?"

"No, why?"

"It proves that you really are my creation, and you really do need my guidance. Here it is," she said, handing me the piece of paper. I read it over.

Half my quest has finally come to an end. Half, an indefinite amount. It is as large as the infinite reaches of space and time, or it may be as small as almost nothing. Half, so indecisive, such a poor term. Yes somehow it portrays this perfectly, but I feel it brings all too much light into this situation.

Three lives. Three lives taken at my blade, three souls gone because of me. I feel the force pushing me. I feel it. Three more lives will soon follow, and I know they will be at my cause. Such sadness, but what can I do? What can I do? Half of my quest is done, and with a half the other is sure to follow.

But still, I feel the chilling darkness inside me. Darkness that I can't control, darkness that knows no bounds. I have nothing any more. No more emotion, no more feeling, just emptiness. I only have that deep emptiness and chaos that fills my hollow shell of a soul, if you can call it a soul. I have nothing left, and the only warmth I ever feel now is from the blood of the ones I kill. Suzu, Klarth, and Arche... I can't believe the lives that have been taken. I have no more hope, no more hope at all.

I pray to you, Mother Martel. For you I have all the repentance in the world. Martel, please protect them, the ones that I know I am destined to take. Please, Martel. Please stop me, stop that dark force in me, the one that drives at me endlessly to push me on to complete my quest. Martel! Please free me from my horrible fate! Only you can help me Martel, only you.

Please, I know that it is coming back. My corruption is coming back. I must spend what little time I have left to let you know this, Martel. What little time I have left awake, my consciousness not robbed by the grasp of my evil. I must let you know, Martel, what you must do to help me. This is far too much for me, and you are the only one who can help. Martel, please do what I bet of you, please. You know I need you, and I am running out of time. My dark embrace will come back, and I know that you must do something about it.

Martel, I must part now. I know not of what you can do, and even less of what you will do, but my dark, dreary sonata must finally finish. It must be fulfilled, and only you can decide how it will be. Martel, I ask, no, I beg of you to please do this. To stop me from doing what I must. Martel, you're the only one left for me. The only one who cares about me anymore. I hope that these are not the final words I say worth of any mention, but as you know, I cannot determine that. Goodbye, Martel. Goodbye. I hope that you will someday learn of this, but until then, all I can do is dream, and that is what I will do. So as it is, until you answer my call, I bid you adieu.

I could barely speak. I looking down, turning up a little, looking back down and closing my eyes, I said what came first to my mind.

"Why didn't you stop me? Why did you let them die?" I asked.

"You had to be freed. I could not have done anything to you except for make you learn the right way. If I had done anything to you, I would have lost you. Akar, my dear, I wanted you to stay here, by my side," she said, "It may or may not have been a good choice. I do not know. All I know is that I have you back now."

"You shouldn't have. You know what I can do to people. I don't want to go back to that. I CAN'T go back to that. Martel, I'm scared. I don't want to cause any more hurt to anyone, especially not you. If anything happens, I know you won't try to stop me, and I can't let that happen."

"Akar, you are safe now. Dhaos' spark has left, and you are no longer the vengeful self you once were. You can live in peace now."

"Peace? What peace? The world has lost those that I killed. I can't rest easy with so much damage. Martel, I can't see all this pain and destruction anymore. I just can't. Martel, I don't want to live with you. I just wish everything was right..."

"So you don't understand what I'm asking..." Martel smiled. She expected this reaction from me, and I knew it.

I looked up.

"Martel, I can't do this. I don't want this world anymore. I have to move on."

"That's what I'm saying," said Martel, "You won't have to be in this world. You can change it all. You can be the one that stands by my side as we work to preserve order in this world. Do you want that, Akar? I know you do. You may have done much wrong, and I know you want to fix it."

I was almost shocked at the proposition. I knew she might ask me to do something like this, but it was nowhere near what I expected, somehow. I could barely even comprehend the fact that I was a being, a being with a name created by Martel herself. I couldn't do it, but I knew I must. I was being accepted as a protector of this world, the same world that I had ravaged.

"Martel, this doesn't seem right for me. Not at all. I don't feel right defending a world which I plagued for so long."

"But it's your destiny. You have no other choice, Akar. Be happy; there's no reason not to be."

"But what if I fail, Martel? How do you know I can be trusted? I might just go back to being corrupted, and then I'd be better off dead."

"So are you saying that I'm wrong? You think that I might not be correct, and that I can't trust you. But Akar, I'm your creator, and I know you well enough to know nothing will happen. The first time, Dhaos had to be sealed away. I didn't plan on it, but I did realize that if that hadn't happened, I'd be gone, so it worked out, and you gained Dhaos' spark. His spark now lies at rest, and there is nothing more for you to do to avenge him. Dhaos himself lies at rest on his own planet, supplying the world with the mana needed to survive. You won't turn evil again."

"As much as I want to believe you, Martel, I don't think I can. Why can't I just leave all of this behind me? I want to rest in peace."

"You are and have always been an immortal. There is no rest for you. I'm sorry but you are bound to help this world for eternity. Akar, come with me, I will show you the way. I will show you all that you missed in your life of vengeance, and all that awaits you."

"And you expect it just to work out? Martel, how can you think everything to go the way you plan?"

I wanted to just run. I didn't want to have anything to do with this world Martel was creating. Plans like this never succeeded entirely. Dhaos' plan only led to chaos and destruction, and ending in Dhaos himself getting killed. It seemed the better a world is, the more disaster befalls it. There was no point in helping Martel to me, since I knew more bad would happen than I could help, and a utopia that Martel envisioned would never happen, but I knew she felt unity between us that I didn't feel. She was just happy that I was no longer evil, while I was still confused and unsure of what to do next. I felt obligated to listen to her, but to not cause any more harm. Though I felt that leaving all of this alone was the best way to go, I knew Martel would not allow me to give up on her and just walk away.

"I know," she said, "I know that no matter what happens, that we can always overcome adversity. I know that you were meant to protect Yggdrasil from the moment you were created. Akar, please listen to me."

"Alright," I said, "I doubt I have much other choice, or anything to do that doesn't involve protecting this world. Let's see what my destiny was from the moment I was created."

"As you wish then," she said.

Martel held her arm out towards me. A column of light descended from the sky, enveloping me. My body lifted up into the sky, as I glowed with light. Shining armor appeared on me, and a beautiful sword materialized in my hand- a long but light saber, thin and quick but powerful. As I landed back on the ground, I faced Martel and smiled.

"Thank you, Martel. You won't regret creating me as a guardian of the tree. I will do my best."

Martel smiled as we walked into the forest, side by side. The darkest hour was completely over with, and we could all just get on with our lives. It was... just what I wanted. Utopia at last, at least for the moment being. We vanished in a pillar of light, forever bound as guardians. They say if you overcome your troubles, you will be a greater person. With that in mind, I knew Yggdrasil was in good hands. One chapter of my life was over, but another had just begun.