My Interview With...

By Maggeh

HI! I bet everyone who has EVER reviewed my work has completely forgotten about me- except pup, of course xD And dude, don't get mad at me for calling you that, for you see, it has no capital. Anyway.

I just... stopped writing this, and I don't expect to get ANY more reviews (except, perhaps, from a delighted pup.) But I'm writing this again because I want to, and beware, it just may be the worst thing I will ever write, due to the fact that I am WAY out of practice. Now, if I could persuade the lawyers of and pup to let me change this into random wolf's history... sigh Anyway, I don't want to do Uru, so we're going to do Sarabi. How does that sound? x3 And to some olllld reviewer, I switched Kovu and Kiara's places x3 (hopes that Kiara32 and BeeKay84 and SunRise19 aaaand everlasting-oranges will someday return)

Me: (maggeh is wearing a beard, and ragged clothes. A painted moustache sits happily on her upper lip, and she is wearing purple makeup below her eyes.)

S... Sarabi? Is... is that you?

Sarabi: Oh, look, and old man.

Me: N-no, it's... it's... me...

Sarabi: Well, the maggeh I don't know would never dress up as an old man as an excuse for poor writing. So, (files nails) you can't be maggeh.

Me: Oh, foo. (takes off beard and begins to scrub at makeup and paint) So- (scrub, scrub) are you angry with me for postponing your interview for so many months?

Sarabi: (glares and turns around, refusing to make eye contact)

Me: Aw, c'mon! There'll be an even smaller chance of anyone reading this if you don't cooperate! You must be funny!

Sarabi: What, act like you and paint my face like a clown? Huh, fat chance.

Me: So, you mad at me?

Sarabi: Mad? MAD! I'm furious!

Me: Well, I'm not. My keyboard is fixed now, and I can make stuff bold with a simple control + b! See? It's really awesome. Why don't you-

Sarabi: I'm furious, because - hey! Turn off the bold!

Me: Oh, very well. I'll turn off the bold. (turns off the bold) Happy now?

Sarabi: I'm furious because all the reviewers are gone now! They can't throw me flowers, or paint a beautiful picture of me, or-

Me: Oh, no. I see where Simba inherited his attitude.

Sarabi: What's that supposed to mean?

Me: Just assure me that you like Simba, we don't want another child-hater.

Sarabi: What the-? I would like to use a very rude word right now, but I suppose you'd like to keep this K+.

Me: Uh-huh. K, preferably, but I guess that won't happen.

Sarabi: No. I shall now make it K+. It will be very easy, because the rating system here is absurd.

Me: Yep. Make it K+.

Sarabi: ((attacks maggeh, claws outstretched. Picks up a ferret, tears off fur, licks a droplet of blood)) See how easy that was? Look! I'll show you the rating system!

Quoth:

K+ -- Suitable for more mature childen, 9 years and older, with minor action violence without serious injury. May contain mild coarse language. Should not contain any adult themes.

Me: You've gone waaaay off-topic, y'know.

Sarabi: Humph.

Me: Anyway. I suppose I have to change the rating now.

Sarabi: Yes. We wouldn't want young children to be forever destroyed by the harmful content in this fic. (sarcasm) Hey! The ferret had a SERIOUS injury; it's dead! You should rate this T!

Me: Oh, please.

Sarabi: I agree.

Me: Well, shall we bring this to a close?

Sarabi: Certainly not!

Me: Very well. Turkey Sandwiches.

Sarabi: Yup.

Me: Nala's next. When shall I put Sarafina in?

Sarabi: Don't. She's a total copycat; she tries to mimic everything I do! She has no creativity, bad sense of judgment-

Me: I like her.

Sarabi: You're a freak.

Me: Why do lions hate me so much?

Sarabi: You radiate with lion hate.

Me: You're a poet and I don't know it!

Sarabi: Ah, well. Some lions have hated you more than I.

Me: Very true, very true.

Sarabi: Seeya.

Me: So long. (and thanks for all the fish! x3)

Sarabi: Eh?

Me: Byeee!