Way #28 -- The Theft

"Daniel, it's 8300. You better get up."

Daniel blinked awake, Sam's blonde head poking into his tent.

"Oh--uh--ok--"

"We leave in a bit," she said and disappeared. Daniel mumbled and kicked out of his sleeping-bag, located his pants, and performed the famous one-foot hop as he wriggled them on. Buttoned them up, reached for his glasses, and sighed in irritation.

"I'll be drinking the last of the coffee if you don't mind, Danny," Jack called from outside. Daniel turned and shouted over his shoulder,

"You do and you're a dead man, Colonel."

He searched his pack, which he always kept right next to his sleeping-bag on the left side of his pillow. He usually set his glasses down on top of his pack at night, slipping them into the stretchy exterior-pocket, but they must've slipped off and fallen somewhere. He prodded the floor of the tent for them quickly, not wanting to let Jack follow through on his threats.

"Mmm, Caribbean French Roast. Oh! There goes the last little bit," Jack's obnoxious taunts carried on. Daniel could hear Teal'c low, rumbling voice as he said something outside, and Jack talking back to him. The archeologist growled and zipped open his pack, dumping out the contents, rifling around in frustration. He knew he put them right here, damnit, where the heck--

"He wouldn't," Daniel stopped and muttered. No, he was sure he wouldn't have done that. All those other things, he could see Jack doing, but there were certain lines you simply couldn't cross. And it was . . . it was just so juvenile. . .

Daniel glared at the tent flap and knew in that moment that he had.

"I tell ya, nothing like Army-issue caffeine to start my day on an alien planet, eh, Carter?"

Daniel had dressed hastily and immerged through the tent with an angry whhhup of the tent flap. Shirt thrown on hastily, hair still a tangled mess, face set in a scowl, he did not look pleased. Sam swallowed, surprised at how intimidating her normally sweet, benign scientist friend could appear when he wanted to. She glanced to the Colonel, perched on a chair near her, but he didn't look worried at all.

"Good-morning, sunshine," Jack purred, which was the manner in which he had greeted Daniel the last several mornings. Carter and Teal'c exchanged anticipating looks.

"Good-morning, dumbass," Daniel snarled in return as he and his sloppily tied boots stomped up to the campfire. Jack's brows shot up in surprise, as did Carter's. Wow, Jack had made Daniel curse. Maybe he should start reconsidering this whole scheme.

Daniel halted and crossed his arms over his chest, leveling a dirty look in Jack's general direction. It really would have been quite an effective and scary glare, if it wasn't for the fact that the general disarrayed state of his clothing and hair, wrinkly sleep-lines still pressed on his face, and the way his bottom lip sort of stuck out into a pout, made the image more amusing and adorable than terrifying.

"Where are they?" he demanded.

"Where are . . . what?" Jack asked, sipping his black coffee.

"You know."

"I do?"

"Yes."

"Ok."

Pause.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Where are my glasses?"

Some snickering from Jack, and some that sounded suspiciously like Carter's.

"Jack, that isn't funny. You know I can't see more than a foot in front of me without them."

"C'mon, that's sort of exaggerating, don't you think?"

"Not by much!"

"Ok, look, I was careful, Daniel, relax. I put them in a safe place."

"I don't care. That's crossing a line, Jack. You don't mess with a man's glasses."

Jack hesitated and slumped his shoulders a little, looking genuinely chastised.

"Ok, you're right, sorry. I didn't think you'd take it like that. Come over here."

Daniel looked wary. It was unusual for Jack to actually admit defeat like that and apologize. He came forward cautiously.

"I, uh, was kidding about the coffee too. There's still plenty left."

Daniel blinked down at Jack, at first confused, as if he wasn't sure whether he was hallucinating. The Colonel looked up at him, mug of coffee in hand, with Daniel's glasses perched on his face. He looked . . . like. . . Daniel couldn't even articulate it.

"You're wearing them?" he asked in disbelief. Sam giggled. Jack smiled slowly, and the expression is what undid him; Daniel couldn't quite suppress the smile trying to win out on his own face.

"J-Jack, you look like . . ."

"Like what?" he asked eagerly. He was grinning now.

"Like . . . a complete and utter dork."

The two of them sniggered. Daniel leaned against Jack's chair, fighting for composure.

"Get the man some coffee, Carter."

"Yessir."

She passed it around and Jack handed him the mug.

"They're a heavy prescription. It must be intolerable for you to wear those," Daniel pointed out, burying his face in the mug to squelch his amusement,

"Oh yeah. Thought I was going to get seasick. I'm starting to get used to it now," Jack agreed, waving a hand in front of his face.

"It's trippin'." Daniel shook his head.

"In fact I think they're startin' to geek-afy me."

"Mm-hm," Daniel murmured skeptically.

"It's the source of all your powers! Carter, ask me a question."

"Um. Describe the principles of String Theory."

Jack spread his arms wide, in melodramatic pose,

"Everything in the entire universe is actually made up of little tiny strings, like dental floss, and that's what ties it all together."

Carter raised her brows in surprise.

"That's actually sort of right, Daniel."

Jack pointed at him and yelled, "See? I told you!"

"I think you better give me those back now."

"No! I'm not ready to surrender my newfound knowledge of the universe!"

He jerked as Daniel reached for the glasses, his coffee spilling and landing on the leaf-littered ground,

"Gack! No-- no, I haven't had a chance to speak other languages yet!" Daniel had one hand on Jack's temple, Jack clutching Daniel's wrist, while trying to keep his mug level in the other hand. Daniel held his mug in midair over Jack's lap and held it slightly tilted, in a very threatening manner. Jack watched it nervously and swallowed, frozen on the spot.

"Speak," Daniel commanded. Jack opened his mouth,

"Hijo de puta."

Daniel gave him a surprised look.

"Well, that isn't very nice."

"Among the few words I know in a foreign tongue."

Daniel slid the lenses off his face and replaced them on his own, smirking.

"At least it's good to know you can antagonize people in just about any language you'd like."

Jack smiled, "Hey, that's all I really need."