"AHHH!" Ron screamed and fell off his chair.
"It's only Hermione in Malfoy's body because Madam Pomfrey got drunk…remember?" said Harry.
"Yea, but I'm not used to seeing Malfoy that closely!" replied Ron shocked.
"Sheesh guys, it's only for one month, and anyway it could be one of you next!" said Hermione.
Ron and Harry looked around and settled back down.
"OUCH! AHH!" cried Neville.
Hermione turned around and saw her own body, in other words: Malfoy kicking Neville with a mad glint in his eyes.
Hermione ran over to Malfoy as quickly as possible.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" said Hermione traumatized.
"HE CALLED ME HERMIONE!" screamed Malfoy.
"Well you are," said Neville in a quavering voice.
Malfoy dropped a plate of broccolis on Neville.
"Stop it, Malfoy! He didn't know!" said Hermione picking the plate off Neville.
"What is going on over here?" said Dumbledore "Oh I see, has Neville made fun of your passion for girly fashion, didn't he Malfoy?"
"No," replied Hermione (in Malfoy's body) "I am Hermione as Professor McGonagall had explained to you before, I was fixing MY skirt back then because it had a crease in it…but that's not important at the moment. Could I ask you for a favor?"
"Yes, of course," replied Dumbledore.
"Could you announce to all of Hogwarts the situation that is at hand and tell them that Malfoy and I are the first swap?" asked Hermione.
"Yes of course," replied Dumbledore.
Dumbledore walked away.
Hermione brought Malfoy to a corner.
"Stop acting like a jerk in my body! Even if people know it's you I don't like seeing myself beat up people, OK?" said Hermione sharply.
"Yea, well how do you want me to act? Like a girl?" Malfoy asked very rudely.
"Why, can't you be nice and normal?" asked Hermione.
"Shut up you pile of filth! I'm going act the way I want to act and there is nothing you can do about it for a whole month, Granger!" whispered Malfoy very sharply.
"Oh yea? Well if you're going to be like that then what's going to stop me from doing the same thing?" snapped Hermione.
"Well run a long, haven't got time for you all day," said Malfoy.
Hermione went back to Gryffindor as her body trotted off to Slytherine.
"Attention all students!" said Dumbledore tapping a glass "Attention please!"
Dumbledore went mad with his tapping and ended up breaking the glass. But he continued while Hagrid cleaned up the mess.
"As you might have seen, one of our walls contains ugly writing with purple paint. That is Madam Pomfrey's doing," began Dumbledore.
There were gasps and murmurs.
"CURSE HER!" yelled Dumbledore hysterically.
McGonagall reminded him that he was telling everyone about Granger and Malfoy's swap and he wasn't holding a protest on Madam Pomfrey.
"Sorry," continued Dumbledore "Every month for the rest of your Hogwarts lives one female Hogwarts student will swap bodies with a male Hogwarts student."
More gasps and murmurs.
"This was all Madam Pomfrey's doing," said Dumbledore and then he yelled hysterically "CURSE HER!"
"I beg your pardon Albus, but I think I should continue this speech," said McGonagall.
"Very well," said Dumbledore and he added "CURSE HER!"
"Well, as Dumbledore was trying to say," McGonagall began "The first month's swap is Hermione Granger from Gryffindor and Draco Malfoy from Slytherine."
A lot of students gasped, some started to whisper and others rolled on the ground with wild laughter.
"Please be respectful," McGonagall said "It might be you next."
There was dead silence except for one boy in Slytherine who was still wrapped in giggles. Malfoy punched him and he fell back and they had silence.
McGonagall continued explaining.
At the Gryffindor table Hermione was whispering to Harry and Ron.
"Curse Malfoy! I told him not to behave violently! That punch that he just gave probably broke a nail or two and left bruises on MY knuckles!" whispered Hermione.
"Look, you know Malfoy, just let him be," whispered Harry.
"Nonsense!" whispered Ron "Hermione if he's going to act like a jerk and mess up your body I think you should too!"
"Really?" whispered Hermione getting excited.
"Yes!" whispered Harry evilly.
McGonagall finished her speech and Dumbledore yelled "CURSE HER!" again and breakfast began.
Hermione looked over her shoulder and saw her body holding two chicken drumsticks and looking greedily at a plate of marshmallows. She was furious, she knew everyone knew that that was actually Malfoy but she still loved her body and she knew he wasn't going to floss. She had planned what she was going to do and she was going to do it now!
Hermione jumped up on the table and scooped up a handful of mashed potato and smeared it on her (actually Malfoy's) head.
Malfoy stopped eating and looked at what everyone else was looking at. A piece of chicken fell out of his mouth.
Hermione then took out a comb and combed the mashed potato through her hair. (Exactly what Malfoy had told her not to do)
"Why I ought to…" muttered Malfoy infuriated at what he was seeing.
Hermione finished gelling Malfoy's hair with mashed potato and took the jug of strawberry syrup. She daintily poured some on her head. She then took a cherry and placed it on her head. She took a bow and sat down. Everyone clapped and whistled and some even banged on the table.
While Hermione had her fun and glory Malfoy was vigorously smashing marshmallows to make taffy.
Malfoy leaped up on the table too and put the big ball of taffy on his (Hermione's) hair. He then took more hair and stuck it to the ball forming a sort of bun. He took two forks and stuck them in through the gooey bun and bowed. Everyone clapped, whistled and cheered.
Hermione's jaw hung open as she saw Malfoy bow.
"Bravo Malfoy and Hermione!" Dumbledore cheered.
"Albus! This is no laughing matter!" McGonagall told him.
Dumbledore coughed and stopped his laughter.
"Ahem! McGonagall is right! That will be enough!" said Dumbledore and everyone calmed down again.
At the Gryffindor table Hermione was sobbing.
"What's the matter?" asked Ron "You had your turn and Malfoy had his."
"Yea, why cry?" asked Harry.
"What I did to his hair sniff is nowhere near what sniff he did to my hair!" said Hermione.
"What? You slobbered his hair with food and he slobbered your head with food. I don't get it," said Ron.
"You timid fool! He put sticky taffy in my hair! Now it's probably all stuck together and the only solution to get it out is to cut my hair!" screamed Hermione.
"Breakfast is over, please get to your respective classes!" announced Dumbledore.
Everyone got up to leave.
Malfoy walked in front of Hermione and turned around to face her. He had a pencil in his hand.
"Oh look I have a pencil that I will need later but I don't want to carry now. Where should I put it?" said Malfoy "Oh of course, in my hair ball!"
He stuck the pencil end into the taffy ball in his hair and walked away.
Hermione's face turned red as a drop of syrup fell onto her nose from her head. She skipped her first class to go and wash her hair clean, but she didn't gel it back like Malfoy had told her to do. Instead she decorated her hair with little pony-tails and put a pink bow on each one.
It was time for her second class which was a flying class with Madam Hooch. She was looking forward to this class because she had this class with Malfoy and she wanted to show him her work of art.
As she walked out onto the Quidditch field she saw Malfoy already up in the air practicing. He still had the taffy ball in his hair. She proudly waved to him. He flew down beside her.
"I hate you," said Malfoy.
"Oh don't say that!" said Hermione dramatically. "I love you!" she added sarcastically.
Malfoy gave her a scowl and was up in the air again. McGonagall stepped out onto the field and called for Hermione and Malfoy.
"You're behavior today at breakfast was not acceptable," she said noticing the change in Hermione's (actually Malfoy's) hair "Ten points has been taken from Slytherin and Gryffindor. An additional 5 points has been taken from Gryffindor because Hermione skipped her first class."
Malfoy smirked and flew off. Hermione went after him.
"Why the smirk Malfoy," she said bitterly.
"Didn't you hear? 5 extra points from Gryffindor!" Malfoy yelled.
"Whatever," she replied and she flew off.
At lunch McGonagall told the whole school about the point taking and Hermione and Malfoy got a lot of dirty looks.
"I hate this!" said Hermione stabbing her jelly with a fork.
"Look I have an idea," said Ron.
"So do I," said Harry.
"Okay you go first," Ron said to Harry startled, he didn't know Harry had an idea.
"Okay," Harry began "Instead of you guys going crazy with food and ribbons how about we try to find the incantation Madam Pomfrey wrote?"
"Yes lets, I want my body back but I'm still going to annoy Malfoy," said Hermione.
"Okay…what was you're idea Ron?" Harry asked.
"Um…my idea was that Hermione should make a taffy ball and stick it on her head too," Ron said hopefully.
Harry and Hermione looked at him closely.
"Never mind, Harry's idea is better," Ron added quickly.
"Okay…we'll meet in the library after lunch," said Harry.
"Bring you're invisibility cloak Harry, we might need it," said Ron and they departed.
Ron and Harry went straight to the library with the invisibility cloak but Hermione went to the girl's cloakroom on the third floor. When she walked in she saw Malfoy in her body adding little pink pom-poms to her taffied hair.
"What are you doing in here?" asked Malfoy.
"Ew! You pervert! I need to tell you what people do in bathrooms?" asked Hermione.
"YOU'RE THE PERVERT! YOU'RE A BOY AND YOU'RE BARGING INTO THE GIRL'S CLOAKROOM!" yelled Malfoy.
"I AM A GIRL!" yelled Hermione.
Malfoy came over and slapped Hermione on the cheek.
"Don't you dare insult my body!" yelled Malfoy enraged.
Hermione spit into his, actually her, eye and left for the library. She broke down into tears as she met Harry. She explained to Ron and Harry what had just happened and they both said they'd figure out a way to get back at him.
"Well right now what's important is that I know away we can find the incantation Madam Pomfrey wrote," said Harry.
"How?" Hermione asked eagerly.
"Well," explained Ron "We have to make an incantatorfly."
"A what?" asked Hermione puzzled.
"An incantatorfly. It's a type of flying creature," said Harry pointing to a picture in a book of "Flying Helpers".
"An incantatorfly is a type of flying creature that will find hidden incantations. All you have to do is tell it who wrote it and give it a hint on what the person smelled like."
"If we gave it a sniff of Malfoy it'd probably die," joked Ron.
"HEY!" said Hermione angry.
Harry put his head close to Malfoy's (at the moment Hermione's) shoulder to take a sniff.
Malfoy had been walking by and saw what where he was standing looked like Harry kissing Malfoy on the neck.
Malfoy ran over and kicked, slapped and shrugged Harry of his shoulder.
"STOP IT!" yelled Hermione defending Harry.
"Look sista," Malfoy began "You may let Harry shag you all you want, but not in my body!"
Harry blushed.
"He wasn't shagging me you dim-wit, he was sniffing me!" said Hermione.
"WHY WOULD HE SNIFF YOU?" Malfoy demanded.
"Because we were discussing how you smelt like and Ron said you smelt bad so I got mad because unfortunately I am in your body so Harry was going to sniff me probably to tell Ron that you don't smell bad because I gave you're body a bath in Rose scented soap!" Hermione explained madly.
Malfoy climbed up onto a book shelf and dropped a heavy book on Ron and then he dropped a heavy book on Hermione.
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" asked Hermione and Ron in unison.
"Yours was for saying that I smell bad," he explained to Ron calmly.
"And yours," he said turning to Hermione "was for bathing me in Rose scented soap!"
"Well you smell better! And now you have ribbons that match with you're smell," Hermione said surreptitiously. (Don't bother getting the dictionary, it means slyly)
"Well whatever, now why exactly were you guys discussing how I smell?" asked Malfoy.
Harry explained why they were in the library, what an incantatorfly was and told Malfoy the exact conversation.
Malfoy dropped another heavy book on Ron.
Then they all decided to go to Gryffindor common room and discuss what they were going to do over hot chocolate.
"So…," began Malfoy "How exactly do we make this incantatorfly?"
"Well it takes 5 months to make…" said Ron.
"He's right," said Harry lighting a fire.
"Well why bother?" asked Malfoy "By then I would have my own body back."
"You selfish crow, it's not just about you. We're trying to free all of Hogwarts from the spell and who knows? You might swap bodies again. No one said that just because you've swapped once already that you can't swap again," said Hermione.
"Shut your yap and let's start gathering the ingredients," said Malfoy.
"Okay what we need is: 3 pominogs, 4 fireflies, a drop of Black Dragon spit and healthy earth for the incantatorfly to grow," Ron read from the book.
"What's a pominog?" asked Malfoy.
"It's a type of charm in a little envelope. It makes sense that they asked for three because when you make them you can only make three in an envelope," said Hermione.
Malfoy looked at Hermione in envy. She always knew everything. Malfoy took the extremely hot hot-chocolate and poured some on his taffy ball. The taffy sizzled and there was a chunk of roasted marshmallow on his head. Harry, Ron and Malfoy ate this while Hermione was crying like a stray dog.
"It's time for sniff charms class with sniff Professor Flitwick," said Hermione sobbing but actually she had an evil idea up her sleeve she wanted to annoy Malfoy so much that she was going to cast an evil spell on him... "This is going to be great," Hermione thought to herself.
They all made there way to Charms class but Hermione was going to steal something she needed from Professor McGonagall's room. She needed the bottle of "Anti-Wrinkle Potion" that she had made for McGonagall. It was highly active and when brought close to "The Love" potion it created an explosion which would make everyone who took a sniff of it kiss someone for 2 minutes. Now it wasn't just someone. The person who was creating the explosion would have to yell the exact name of the person who everyone but the person who was making the potion would have to kiss right before the explosion occurred.
She opened the door to McGonagall's room but just before she entered she heard McGonagall talking to Dumbledore. She was about to shut the door until she heard McGonagall say "Draco Malfoy" in a very worried tone. She decided to listen.
"Has Draco abused girly fashion?" asked Dumbledore.
"Albus, Draco was never interested in girly fashion…remember what Granger explained to you?" said McGonagall.
"Oh yes," said Dumbledore.
"Well what I wanted to talk to you about is why Madam Pomfrey was upset," said McGonagall.
"Yes, yes," urged Dumbledore.
"Well see Draco had made an attempt to kiss Madam Pomfrey with his tongue," said McGonagall.
"Way to go Malfoy!" said Dumbledore.
"Albus," cried McGonagall "You need rest…we shall continue this conversation later."
They left from the backdoor.
Hermione was at first biting the insides of her cheeks to stop herself from shrieking with laughter. The she realized that the tongue she was using now had actually tried to touch Madam Pomfrey's tongue.
She stole the "Anti-Wrinkle Potion" and was off. This revenge was going to be even sweeter now. Malfoy wanted a tongue-kiss? He was going to get a lot now.