Unexpected events

By Zakairen

AN: Took me longer than I suspected it would. The transformer of my laptop ceased to function and as a result I had no access to my files for about two weeks. My Birthday came up afterwards, so I really didn't have as much time to get this ready earlier as I had thought or wanted. Now college is about to begin again. I'll have to wait and see how much time that leaves me. There are no review responses in this chapter. My thanks to everyone who reviewed, I'll try and answer some questions in the next chapter. ENJOY!

Chapter 10

Once again Harry was woken up by a loud crashing noise at half past six. For a moment he listened to the incessant cursing from outside, than he decided that he was in the mood to do some cursing himself. It was entirely too early for the time he had gone to bed at. Yawning he put on a glamour charm to look and sound like his uncle in pajamas, then he stomped down the stairs and flung the kitchen window open. Noticing Tonks in the disguise of a teenage girl, he began to chew her out in the bellow his uncle called a yell. She got paler with every second the spectacle lasted. As Harry finally closed the window with a bang, she was nearly in tears and he felt a bit guilty. But he managed to rid himself of the bad mood he had been in because he hadn't had enough sleep.

Sighing he went back into his former room and canceled the glamour. He did a quick sweep of the room, picked his clothes up and collected the time turner to put it away in the master bedroom for later use. Then he chose to go into his trunk for a bath, as his body ached a bit still from all the studying and sitting still. Before he threw his clothes in the hamper he extracted the loot from the high-school raid he had done last night and set it aside. After opening the tap in the tub he stripped down completely and sank into the warm water.

Half an hour later he dried off and went to put some fresh clothes on. Harry had decided while soaking that he would try to find a spell to add his notebooks together and put an index into the booklet it would become, as well as put preservation charms on it. After that he would go through all his Herbology notes to make sure he knew the stuff. Whistling cheerfully, his former mood reversed, he wandered of to the kitchen for some breakfast.

A batch of pancakes was quickly made and he put them on a plate with a warming charm. Then he collected some grapes, berries and cherries to go along and put them on another plate. Frowning slightly, Harry looked around the kitchen and wondered why he hadn't put that bookshelf for cooking books in as he had wanted. He sighed, a bit put out, and decided to remedy the situation immediately. First he went to collect a matching sample of wood, then he transfigured it into a nice small bookshelf and stuck it to the kitchen wall in the designated place. That was then connected to the library with the charm he had used for the shelf compartment of his trunk. He was a bit surprised that he still remembered it, but thanked his Occlumency improved mental capabilities. It would need changing when he finally found the time to sort the muggle books.

Harry called for the book on Household charms and searched through it for a charm to get seeds and stones out of fruits without a major mess. After he memorized the charm he found, he put the book back on the shelf, scooped the plates up and left for library. There he put a hovering charm on the plates and went to collect the bookcase manual and the index. Then he settled down for another day of studying, satisfying his hunger as he went.

It was early in the afternoon before Harry stopped his study session. He was now sure that he knew the material well enough to ace the exam. He had also managed to combine his notebooks into a thin book with a magical index with the help of the manual. On the front and spine was written Herbology, years 1 – 5. Later he would add years six and seven. As he ate the last fruits, he settled on a bit of yard work for the afternoon. There was after all a practical for Herbology and the garden needed some tending to. The weeds were growing a bit too much. So he put everything in order and left the trunk, after putting on some suitable clothes for working outside.

While he worked he went over every plant that they had learned about in Herbology and revised the use of their parts in potions. Especially the influence different harvest times could have. That kept him busy while pulling weeds. Harry was sweating a bunch when he finally decided that enough was enough and went inside for a quick shower before dinner.

Half an hour later he was in the kitchen, listening to the music he played in the den. He was almost salivating at the thought of noodles with cheese sauce, cauliflower, peas and carrots. His stomach growled angrily.

'I shouldn't have ditched lunch for yard work, just because I wasn't really hungry at that time. Oh well, nothing to be done about that now. Next time I know better and dinner is almost ready too. Then I'll close the day of with a bit of stargazing and trying to remember my Astronomy lessons. And I need to set an alarm for tomorrow morning. I want to indulge in a bit of meditation and a visit in my mind before I need to go back for the Herbology exam.'

Another loud growl of his stomach brought Harry back to reality, were he switched the heat of and began to his meal together on his plate. He was rather happy that he made a bit more than necessary for one person, because of his massive hunger. He ended up taking seconds and even a third potion before was sated. Thankfully, as there wasn't anymore left. A short time later, after he had cleaned everything he had used, he walked upstairs and took his Astronomy books out of the trunk, along with a couple of notebooks. Then he went inside to retrieve a few wood and metal samples. At the moment all the bedrooms held only a bed. There were no dressers, desks, chairs or closets. No possibility to put something down and leave it there for a day. In the master bedroom he had only his trunk.

Postponing his Astronomy revision, Harry quickly transfigured a functional, modern desk and two bookshelves. One for school stuff and the other for leisure reading. Then he heaved a sigh. He wanted a nice chair to go with the desk, put he didn't know enough about swivel chairs to transfigure one in pieces and naturally there wasn't an incantation. Then he decided to do something better than that. He would simply make a comfortable seat with extra cushioning charms and charmed to fit the needs of the seated person. After he had done that he put a permanent hovering charm on it and an illusion to make it look like normal swivel chair to muggles. Proudly he examined his chair and then promptly duplicated it three times. One for each room. He brought the chairs in the designated rooms and then quickly put one bookshelf in each room as well as a desk and closet.

After he took on last look around, he left for the garden. Harry watched as the sky became darker and the first stars could be made out clearly. He searched his memory for the constellations they had been shown in lessons. At first it went slowly, but the more he searched the more he found. Apparently many things that he had thought he had forgotten were now again available to him because of his Occlumency.

'To think, that our brain seems to absorb even the most mundane things just by reading material over or listening to someone teach about it. And we can never remember that we learned in a fashion, because we lack that ability. It's almost like everyone has an eidetic memory but lacks the ability to use it and therefore thinks they never learned or forgot. Occlumency is a god send if you are taught the right way and master it. A real mastery, not a fake one.'

When he couldn't stop yawning any more, Harry got up and went inside. It was time to go to sleep. He set the magical alarm for seven am. The portkey would activate two hours later, it left him with a good amount of time. Then he put his Astronomy things on the desk and shrugged out of his clothes and into a pajama bottom. As he crawled into bed he realized that he hadn't thought about Sirius or Remus the whole day. For a moment he thought he could hear his godfather warm laugh in the breeze that came in through the open window. The happy memories of his godfather sent him to sleep, calling to his mind and snaring it into dreams of happier days.

It was still early when he was woken up the next morning. Harry yawned when he sat up in his bed and wiped the sleep from his eyes. Then he stuffed his pillow behind his back against the headboard and draped his blanket around his lower body. Then he concentrated and dived into his own mind.

When he arrived in the big hall, he was surprised to find a few memories floating around. He wasn't quite sure why they were there. As he began to look through them, Harry noticed that they were totally random. In a way that answered his unvoiced question. These memories couldn't be automatically sorted into a category because there wasn't a fitting one yet. He sighed as he concentrated to create a place for these memories.

Once the hall was cleared, Harry decided to go outside and take a look at his shield. He could see the waves crashing onto the beach of the island through the transparent walls of his minds fortress. As he slowly walked out onto the sand the shield came into view. Harry blinked. Then blinked again. Then he began to curse. The shield wasn't as strong as he had expected it to be. Sure, it was stronger than the first time he had seen it, but only marginally. He went over the events of the past days. And cursed himself even more violently than he had the shield before. He had sworn to himself that he would spend a good deal of time every day on strengthening the shield because he needed it. Instead of doing just that, he hadn't even thought of strengthening the shield for a few days. He had simply been too busy – and had promptly overlooked one of things essential for his survival.

To make matters even worse, right now he didn't have enough time to spare to do anything about it. He needed his power for the exam and he needed to get out of his mind to get ready for that. This wasn't good. As Harry stood up from the place where he had fallen to his knees, he noticed a red shimmer. Squinting, he looked closer. All around the area he recognized as his mind, there was his shield. But all around his shield there was another one. A red shield that seemed to be impossibly strong. Noticing that he wasn't able to see every part of those shields he looked around. He knew, there was something he was overlooking. But seemingly that couldn't be helped.

Harry made his way back inside, wondering what the red shield was. Thankfully it protected his mind and shield, otherwise it would take considerable damage in an attack.

A moment later was back in control of his physical body. As he got up to shower and dress, he still couldn't keep his thoughts away from the strange red shield. He shook his head. He would have to think about it later and concentrate on the exam now. That was infinitely more important. Harry began to mentally go through every fact he knew about Herbology – again. On some level he knew he was obsessing, but somehow he couldn't help it.

When he was ready, had eaten breakfast and calmed himself down thoroughly it was already a quarter to nine. Hastily he went for his time-turner and put the chain around his neck. A moment later he found himself still in the master bedroom, but at a quarter to nine on Monday morning. Silently he wondered when he would get around to thinking of the master bedroom as his room, as he went and collected the portkey-letter from the ministry. Hopefully it wouldn't take too much longer. As he waited for the portkey to activate, Harry's thoughts went to the members of the bird club that Dumbledore officiated. Thankfully he wouldn't have to make his way to the entire ministry building, but would land in a sealed off part of the Department of Education. Nobody else but the examinees and the examiners were allowed in there.

Harry had gathered that information from a leaflet that appeared after he had keyed the letter to his own magical signature. The contents had also told him that nobody would be able to repeat who had been there because of the secrecy charms applied. He also knew that none of the examiners were part of the bird club, a fact that he was immensely thankful for. Now he knew just why he had spied on that emergency meeting of the whole Order after the ministry fiasco – apart from staking out his guards. It meant that nobody was able to take the info of him being there back to the Headmaster. Or to Voldemort for that matter. Now the only remaining problem in his plan was the fact that he had to convince them to let him take all the exams he wanted to. He could only hope that they would accept his reasons.

At five minutes to nine he felt the portkey activate and a moment later that nauseating feeling at his naval propelled him towards his destination. He shook as he landed, but was able to save his dignity and remain on his feet. He didn't even stumble. All around him a few other people arrived. Obviously, there weren't that much home-schooled children. A few seconds later he had to revise his opinion. A second batch of teenagers arrived, followed by a third. Now there were about as many people as in his year in Hogwarts from all houses combined. As Harry looked around he was happy that his scar was covered and that he had better clothes. The absence of his glasses was also very much I his favor.

Slowly he began to make his way towards the door of the room. He had noticed that everyone had arrived inside of a small circle painted on the floor. It was a good idea to avoid the problem of several people arriving in the same spot at the same time or even after one another. That would have undoubtedly resulted in a ghastly accident. Harry noticed that most of the others were doing the same as he was. After all, the exam would start in about five minutes. He sighed and continued his way. The corridor he entered was connected to several rooms. The examiners were standing outside, checking the letters of the teenagers against a list of names. They weren't put together in one room, but separated in alphabetical order by their last names through notes on the doors.

At the other end of the corridor he noticed a woman with a badge on her robes, claiming her to be the head examiner for these exams. After he hesitating for a moment he went to her. Instead of talking to each examiner per subject individually, maybe he could get his permission to retake the all uninterrupted exams from her. It was at least worth a shot.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, what do you need Mr. …?"

"Potter, Ma'am."

She raised an eyebrow at him. Somehow he like her reaction, most of all the fact that she didn't go ballistic with hero-worship or hatred.

"The letter I got stated that I would be able to retake any exam I wanted, as long as the reason for this was not inane and accepted by the examiner. I wanted to ask, if it was possible to get your permission to retake several exams apart from Astronomy and History instead of having to ask every single examiner, seeing as you oversee all the exams? When I took my exams at Hogwarts, the only exams that I was able to partake in to the fullest of my ability were the exams for Defense and Charms. In the others I was held back by a lack of sleep and exhaustion caused by our Defense Professor, Ms. Umbridge – who used a blood quill in her prolonged detentions given for the most inane reasons - as well as nightmares that were sent to me by You-Know-Who. Madam Pomfrey, the schools nurse gave me a dose of dreamless sleep potion the night before the Defense exam and the night before the Charms exam, but I couldn't take one before every exam because of it's addictiveness. I had thought that I would have to live with the less than satisfactory course of the tests because of that, but now I hoped that I might be allowed to retake those exams. The fact that I was trying to learn Occlumency alongside the whole time hasn't made it any better. My Occlumency shields are only now strong enough to block out any dreams sent by HIM and I have gotten a good deal of rest since I have gotten home."

She looked at him for a moment through narrowed eyes. A single strand of her chestnut hair fell into her face, only to be brushed back behind her ear immediately. She looked to be thinking about his request seriously for a bit, before she nodded.

"Yes, Mr. Potter, you may retake all of the tests apart from Charms and Defense. The dissatisfactory conduct of Ms. Umbridge is quite well known in our Department. We were incensed about most of her decrees, but weren't able to do anything about it, because she had the ministers backing. All of her decrees have been reversed and we are putting together a case against her. It would probably be good if the investigators were to speak with you at some time. Maybe after one of the exams? You'll be here quite often for the next two weeks. You should also know that this section of our department is spelled to compel the students to tell the truth and it can't be blocked by Occlumency as it doesn't directly mess with the mind, which is why I granted you inquiry. Now, hurry inside please. I'll let the other examiners know that you are permitted to retake your exams."

"Thank you, Ma'am."

Harry hurried inside the correct room, showing his letter to the examiner and seeing him look to his superior, receiving a positive nod. Her revelation had shocked him a bit, but he was jumping for joy inside his mind. There was however something that didn't sit right with him. He had told her a lot more than he had intended to and it angered him, but he also hadn't told her the full truth. That meant omission was possible, but mostly prevented by the charms they had put up. Shaking his head he decided to concentrate on the task at hand. He took one of the few still available seats. As he had entered the room he had felt the tingle of a ward washing over him. Now he looked towards the desk in front of the room expectantly. The examiners surveyed the room and the teenagers for a moment before they laid down the rules for the exams, same as in Hogwarts. Then they walked through the room, giving every person their paper. After they were through they were told to begin.

It was well into the afternoon before the practical part of the exam was over and Harry was a bit tired. He had forgotten just how tiring it could be to deal with some of the more active magical plants. Despite the few problems that had come up in the practical part, he knew that he done very good. He had always liked gardening. Though Herbology wasn't his favorite subject and he was nowhere near as good as Neville, he didn't need to be to gain an E or even an O. And he knew that he had aced the written part of the test.

They hadn't done the practical part alone, but in groups of three. His had been one of the last and they had been dismissed just a few minutes ago. Harry had washed his hands to get the mud and earth off of them and was now on his way to the travel room, to get back home. He still had some remodeling to do, mostly in the basement. And he still wasn't in the right mind to make his way up into the attic.

As he entered the travel room he took out his letter, but nothing happened, even as he stepped into a randomly selected circle. A sigh escaped Harry as he realized that he would need to depart from the same circle he arrived in. Taking a look around, he stepped first into and then through several circles when nothing happened. Finally he managed to find the correct circle and once again he was nauseated by the pulling sensation behind his naval.

He arrived back in the master bedroom, where he put the letter away immediately. Then he decided to finally get something to eat. Thinking about it for a moment he went inside his trunk as his past self was still outside, but would come back inside the house sometime soon. And his past self would also use the kitchen downstairs. Pulling a few vegetables out of the cupboards in the kitchen he began to clean them, dicing them into strips and cubes as he went. He had done the potatoes first and put the cubes into a frying pan with a bit of oil to roast while he continued with the rest. He put the sweet peppers, celery, carrots and leek into another pan, with less heat under it.

While his dinner cooked Harry went and fetched some paper and a pen and settled down at the kitchen table. He began to make a detailed plan of the rooms he wanted in his basement. At the moment he had five different rooms at his disposal and all of them weren't really big. One contained the washing machine and the dryer. He would have to leave that one as it was. One room was for the muggle part of his library, the second would become a potions lab, the third would be changed into a dueling chamber and the fourth would become a work-out room with probably enchanted muggle equipment.

Harry stood up and took a plate and a fork out of the cupboards, then went and put some of the potatoes and the other vegetable onto his plate. The heat was switched of and he returned to his chair. He pushed the paper and pen aside to get his plate in front of him and began to eat with enthusiasm. He would have to remember to take something to eat and drink with him for the next exam that went from morning to afternoon. It really wasn't fun to watch the others munch on their lunch while his stomach growled, because he hadn't thought of it in the first place. Thankfully they had been given a bottle of butterbeer each, that had calmed his stomach a bit.

Scooping the rest of his food out of the pans for a second helping, Harry thought about the exams that were still to come. The next was Astronomy and after that it was History. He hadn't thought that Herbology would take up so much of his time. It was already late in the afternoon and he still had to compile a five-part (note-)booklet about Astronomy. Thankfully he had already done some stargazing, but that also meant that he couldn't go out again tonight. Patting his stomach after the good meal, he decided to at least get the library part of his house ready, before he went and studied his books in depth.

After he put his plate, fork and the pans in the sink, he went directly into the library to collect the needed bookcases as well as the already much used book on remodeling. Harry would need to enlarge the room after all, as well as put some carpet in, paint the walls and ceiling in satisfactory colors and fix the lighting to his liking. It should take at least an hour of his time until it was ready and he could continue his studying. On the other hand - that was exactly what he needed after he had exhausted his brain the exam.

It was already half past ten when Harry finally decided to put his books away and go to bed. Tonight he would sleep in his old bedroom again. He decided to forego a long soak in the Jacuzzi because of the late hour and took a quick, warm shower that only enhanced his tiredness.

As he slipped into bed, his last thought was on the realization that tomorrow he had his talk with Remus. A bit of uneasiness slipped into his already half sleeping consciousness. Pushing it away, he decided not to worry about it any more. It would happen regardless of his feelings on the situation. They could talk in the park and after that he could hopefully convince Remus to help him with his shopping. He was slowly running out of fruits and vegetables.

Just as his mind slipped away, Harry thought about his mind shield and willed his mind and magic to work on it while he slept. Tomorrow he would see if it had worked and his shield could be strengthened while he slept.

It was about 8 am on Tuesday morning when he woke up. The noise his past self made rummaging around the house while getting ready was quite loud. He would have to put up some silencing charms around the rooms to prevent exactly that happening again. Stretching a bit Harry yawned and cuddled back into his pillow and blanket. He would just lie there and enjoy the warmth. Thankfully he didn't have to get up right away. Holidays were something really nice, just like weekends only better. He didn't have to keep an eye on the clock now because Hogwarts only served breakfast so long.

When the lack of noise suggested that his past self had gone back in time he stretched again and began to meditate to go into his mind. Once he was on the beach and surveyed his shield, he noticed immediately that it was stronger than the last time he had looked at it, but not by much. Harry sat down on the warm sand and began to work on his shield. He could feel his shield gaining strength bit by bit. It didn't take long until he had done more improvement than his unconscious mind had while he was sleeping. He got up and walked a bit to strengthen a different area.

While he was working on his shield, he noticed that his island seemed to be swimming in the ocean and that his shield apparently went all around, even under the island. That area was given an extra dose of attention. Harry really didn't want any ugly surprises because he had a hole in his shield. All the while he noticed the red shield around his own blue one. And finally the answer as to what exactly that was occurred to him. That shield came from the blood wards. It had already become stronger than the last time he saw it about 25 hours ago. He hadn't taken a look at the blood wards around the house for a few days, but if the shield was any indication they had grown quite strong over that short period of time.

'I wonder if they will keep Dumbledore out, after all he isn't really interested in my continued good health. It's rather the opposite. I'd really like to see his face if he walks into an invisible wall when he tries to enter. On the other hand I hope it doesn't happen for some time, because otherwise he will begin to undermine my protection. It could also cause a problem with Remus – he is a werewolf after all, a dark creature by ministry edict. But he doesn't have bad intentions towards me, so it should be okay.'

After he was satisfied with the strength of his shield, Harry decided to take one last look around before he went back to the outside world. In a secluded part of the island he found a black, cordlike thing. It's root seemed to be buried deeply in the sand and it went upwards and past the shields. Both shields blocked it off, but it wasn't cut of entirely. He concluded that it was his connection to Voldemort. Curious he began to carefully dig around, to eventually get a clear view of the root. He had to get a lot of sand out of the way and he noticed with dread that the part of the connection that he freed was much larger than he had thought. It spread under the sand, outwards to the bungalow that hid the fortress in which he kept his memories.

Harry swallowed heavily as he looked at the huge black something that lay hidden in his mind. Somehow he got the feeling that he had initially gotten a lot less from Voldemort than he thought, but at the same time it seemed as if mind was slowly contaminated more and more through the link without any changes occurring. His instinct told him that he would have to do something about it very soon if he wanted to stay himself. On the other hand, the same instinct told him that it would be disastrous if tried to cut the link now. He sighed as he sat back and looked at the black thing. Then he focused on it and willed the sand away from it, beginning with the top layers.

At first nothing happened, but after a little while the sand began to move away very slowly. To Harry it felt as if had been at it for hours when he had managed to free the center from sand. There was even a bit of air under it now. He was tired, but somehow he knew that he couldn't leave his mind like that. He was much too vulnerable this way. Because of that he began to build a mind shield around the black thing, without actually coming into contact with it. He knew he wouldn't be able to encase the whole thing right now, but it would be a start. After all the work he had already done on his shield, it was easy to build a new one from scratch and connect it to the bubble shield were the link came through. Only when not even a tiny bit of the parts he had freed from the sand wasn't covered by his shield did he stop. Giving the new construct one last look he exited his mind.

Moaning, Harry lay in the bed. He was utterly exhausted and had a splitting headache. He had probably done too much in too little time. A muttered tempus told him that he had only spend a bit more than an hour in his mind. He didn't even notice that he hadn't used his wand for the spell, despite the fact that it still was in the holster on his forearm. As he tried to get up a wave of nausea hit him and he subsequently decided to stay in bed and take a nap to regain a bit of his energy. He drew his blanket over his head and burrowed into the pillow. Hopefully nobody would disturb him. And Remus would have his shift in the afternoon, so there wasn't a problem there.

Incidentally, it was Harry growling stomach that woke him up. It was already early in the afternoon when he got up and took a shower. He was still a bit sleepy when he trudged down into he kitchen to make himself something to eat. Too lazy to put a great deal of thought or energy in his meal he just made himself some salad, which he devoured at the kitchen table like a starving man. Thankfully his headache had abated due to the extra sleep. But he dreaded his next session with the link.

Looking around, he decided he needed to put a clock into the kitchen at the soonest possible time. Harry sighed and went upstairs. He needed to put on something a bit more Dudley-shaped for his meeting with Remus, he didn't want anyone to become suspicious. He didn't want to have to deal with Dumbledore and his bird club just yet. It was only another 30 minutes until Remus would be there.

The hand-me-downs he owned were stared at distastefully. Then he selected some that weren't too worn and shrunk them down a bit. He could explain that away by saying he had done it at school. As Harry walked downstairs again, he wondered what would happen if he were discovered at the moment. The possibilities his fantasy supplied him with were not to his liking to say the least. A shudder ran over him and he tried to get the images out of his head. Despite the fact that he had come to terms with his godfathers death, he really didn't want to be stuck in Grimwauld Place for the rest of the summer. Especially not right under Dumbledores nose and with Mrs. Weasley as supervisor.

Sure, he liked her and he liked the fact that she treated him like one of her own sons, but sometimes that was exactly what he couldn't stand about her. She was too much of a mother hen to let him be himself most of the time. Her recent attitude about Sirius also didn't endear her to him and the hero-worship she held for Dumbledore was too dangerous to his continued good health for his liking.

Quietly Harry closed the front door behind him and went down the driveway and sat on the sidewalk, leaning against the fence that went around the Dursleys garden. Remus was scheduled to arrive any minute now. Mentally he found himself running circles like a headless chicken, so he took a few calming breathes. It wouldn't do let his nervousness show through.

A soft pop behind him told Harry that Remus had arrived. Then he heard a bit of shuffling and another pop, this one a bit louder. He could hear steps, but they were leading away from him and up to the house. Curious, he got up and looked around for a moment. Nobody was visible in his vicinity. His voice was soft when he spoke up.

"Remus, why are you walking up to the House? I'm down here."

"Harry? Cub, what are you doing out here?"

"Waiting for you. Or can you really see my Aunt jumping for joy when I'm visited by another freak? Don't need to incur her wrath unnecessarily, now do I? Come on, we'll go down to the park. The garden really isn't available for a talk while my Aunt is at home, you know. Follow me please?"

With that he turned around from his little surveillance stunt and began to walk down the street. The park was well within the outer wards, just like the supermarket. It would be nice to sit in the shade under the trees in the park. A bit more of a neutral ground than the Dursley's garden. The pet-name that Remus had given him had assured Harry that they were okay. Now he only needed to find out exactly how much he trusted the Headmaster.

'Master of head-cases more likely. Hmm. I'm derogatory today. But really, just how many screws do you have to have loose to make a child fight a Dark Lord? Or to put people like Quirrell and Lockhart in charge of education? Or to let some one like Umbridge have free rule? And just why am I thinking about this now? Serves to show how nervous I am!'

After he had led them to a secluded clearing where they wouldn't be disturbed, Harry sat down under a huge oak tree.

"You can pull the cloak of now, Moony. Nobody is anywhere near, we won't be disturbed here. Come on, sit down in the shadow next to me. Then we can talk – before I loose my last nerve."

"A bit pushy, aren't you, Cub? But you're right. You know, I'm pretty nervous too. So, tell me, how are you. Really I mean?"

"Well, I'm not too sure about that. For a while I was really bad off, you know. I had nightmares every night while I was still at school. I couldn't think straight half of the time during the day. But the first night back I found the robe I had on that night."

"You found… Oh, Merlin! Harry, are you…"

Harry looked up into those kind amber eyes. Then he nodded and hugged the man he considered a honorary godfather. As he cuddled closer, he could admit to himself that this was something that he had needed despite the fact that he had dealt with most of the emotional backlash already. He relaxed into the embrace and continued talking.

"I'm okay. You know, I'm kinda glad that it happened. While I broke down completely, it also helped me deal with a lot of things I had buried. I feel very much better now. Not nearly as angry or choked by grief and depression as before. It was exactly what I needed, but who would have thought. I still miss him. Everyday there is something that I'd like to show him or to tell him. And it hurts that I can't. But more often now it just is a background thought. And sometimes I even get his face with one of those insane laughs in my memory along with a comment he might have made. But, Moony, I need to know: are you angry with me? I mean, I…"

"Harry? Cub, it wasn't your fault. You know that, right?"

Harry could only nod. Yes, he knew that he only held a minimal amount of the fault. That Sirius was a grown man, making his own decisions. He had accepted it. But it was good to hear it from someone whose own grief was a big as his. Someone he trusted. Someone he loved. The strong arms around him tightened a bit.

"No, Harry, I'm not angry with you. You tried to prevent it. The action was so typically Sirius… there is nothing more to say. I was terrified when you tried to go after him, down there. I couldn't loose you too. You really are the very last member of my pack. And Siri, he was going crazy inside that house, stuck as he was. I can't say that it is for the better, but… You know what I mean, yes?"

"I do. But it will hurt for a long time to come, despite that."

Harry shuffled around a bit, until he sat with his back against the older mans chest. Then he leant his against Remus shoulder. It was very nice to finally have someone to hold him like this, out in the open.

"Moony?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"Will you be my honorary godfather? I know, ministry won't let you be official and I don't want you to take Sirius' place. But, after he came back, we lost the contact we established during third year. You just faded into the background. I don't want to live through that again. You are important to me. I don't want to loose you again."

"Harry… Harry, I… I'd be honored. I don't know what to say…"

A sniffle could be heard, followed by a small laugh.

"Look at me, falling apart like that. Yes, Harry. I would like that very much. I know I can't take Sirius' place, but I want to be there for you. Thank you for your trust. Now, Tonks said that…"

".. and I told her that is how I think he would want to be remembered."

"You're absolutely right. He wouldn't have wanted to have us mope around. He'd have asked us to pull a few pranks on the Order and the twins in his memory."

Harry stood up slowly and stretched. Then he gave his new godfather a hand and helped him up.

"You know, I need to go shopping before I go back. We are running out of fruit and vegetables rather fast with the amount of food Dudley and Uncle Vernon pack away. Will you keep me company? There shouldn't be too many people there."

"Of course I'll come with you. Invisible. I'll cast lightweight charms on your bags. But we need to hurry. We have talked for more than two hours, closer to three. My shift will be over soon."

"Mmm. 's okay. There is however something that I have to ask you beforehand. I want to know if Snape is on guard duty anytime soon."

"Harry? Yes, he'll be there on Friday morning. But why?"

"I want to talk to him. Could you… could you tell him? Ask him to bring a pensieve? And don't tell anyone else, please? It's important to me. I want to show him something. Please, Moony?"

The werewolf shook his head in annoyance. It didn't make any sense to him. He knew that those two couldn't be in a room together without riling each other up.

"Very well. I will. But don't come crying to me later on, okay. I know perfectly well that both of you can't stand each other. Now, let's get your shopping done, Cub."

"Thanks Moony. That means a lot to me. Heh. Race you!"

Upload date: 10-09-2005