Nexteroonie...
Wednesday May 18th
6:00 pm
Hawkeye really does hate me. She decided to give me a bad conduct mark today and cloakroom duty just because I was apparently 'Creating havoc in the girls toilets'. Pah. I was doing no such thing. I was holding Rosie up above my shoulders so that she could write 'R hearts S' on the ceiling, but then I looked up and saw she was wearing 'sunday' underwear and asked her why and she laughed so hard that she fell off my shoulders and almost killed herself if it hadn't been for me and Jools grabbing her before she hit the ground. But then she only had, 'R hea' and she wanted to finish it, and so I stood ontop of Jools shoulder to finish it for her. And then who should waltz in, but my good friend (not) Wet Lindsay. She ran off and got Hawkeye who called Jools and I two disturbed little girls and called Elvis to get his mop and clean the lipstick off the ceiling.
On a good note, I found out that Elvis will be retiring this friday! Yipee!
9:00 pm
What should I wear friday?
Black has always been my best bet.
Thursday May 19th
8:30 am
Rang Jas and asked if she wanted to bunk off stalag 14 again, but she said it was too risky. Risky Schmisky. I'm a rebel girl. I don't care if its too risky, I'll bunk of school whenever I bloody want to.
8:45 am
At Jassyknickers gate waiting for her to walk to you-know-where. Groan.
"I see you still have some sense in you." Was what she said when she came out.
Cheers. No, 'Hello Gee, How are you today?' Or, 'Gee you are looking mighty gorgeous today. You could be a sex goddess!'
r.e.
Ms.Wilson is beyond the valley of sad. She has just started telling us about her boyfriend, Pierre, and the wonderful caring relationship they have. HA! I bet she just made him up.
3:00 pm
Doing my cloakroom duty. Erlack! Nauseating P. Green has hamster droppings in her coat pockets!
4:00 pm
Rosie came round to keep me company in my empty sad house.
I kind of miss Libby and Mutti. And well, no not dad. I haven't sunk to that level of sadnosity.
We talked about how we were doing our hair for fridays gig.
"I'm thinking of cute braids. Two on each side. What do you think?" She asked.
"Sounds good. I'm going for a messy bun on the back of my head."
She gave me the klingon salute and then we went to find something to eat.
7:00 pm
Doing Maths homework. I hate maths, it might be a bit easier if it werent for the fact that our teacher is a math oberfuhrer and part time lesbian. We are too distracted by her moustache to learn anything.
7:20 pm
This is quite sad, I have the entire house to myself and I'm doing homework. Perhaps Dave would like to come over for another snogging session? Phwoar, that was fun! But it might sound too keen if I invite him over again so soon.
8:05 pm
Rang Jas.
"Jas?"
"What?"
"Don't say what! You're so annoying. Do you have any manners?"
"I have plenty of manners now what do you want?"
Grrr. But I shouldn't stay on that subject any more if I ever want to get my message across.
"Should I have a party on Saturday night?"
"At your house?"
"Yeah."
"Would your parents like that?"
"Of course they wouldnt like that! But theyre not here! They wont be for another 2 and a half weeks! They won't even know, Jas."
"True..." She seemed to be thinking.
"So, should I?" I finally asked.
"Should you what?"
Ugh. I hung up.
8:15 pm
Rang Ellen.
"Ellen?"
"Oh hey, Gee!"
"Should I have a party Saturday?"
"Yeah! That sounds cool. I could invite Brenden."
"Oh yeah, him. I forgot to ask, how was coffee on Tuesday?"
I could just feel her blushing on the other end.
"Oh, well, you know. It was great. We had coffee, then, uh...walked in the park and then did some number6 kissing and, well, you know. It was awesome."
"Uh huh." I was bored already, "Anyways. See you tommorow, Ellen."
"Bye, Gee."
12:00 am
It is really quite creepy in my house alone at night. I wonder how I'll ever get to sleep.
Friday May 20th
7:30 am
Up at the crack of dawn. I have to start preperation for the gig tonight this early. I have to look like an ultimate sex goddess and show Italiano Pratio just how over him I am.
I practiced my glaciosity in the mirror while I applied an egg yolk mask and check for any oranguatang business on the legs.
German
Hahahahahahahahaahahahhaahahahahahahahaha. Herr Kamyer just was teaching us a new word in German when a bird flew by the window really fast and he jumped and screamed like a little girl and yelled a profanity in German. It was the funniest moment of my life...well almost. Then we found out he was one of those people with uber-phobias and his was of birds. I had heard of that, fear of birds, before hahahaha.
Lunch
Since it is Elvis' retiring day, we all went to say farewell to the lovable (not) caretaker.
"Elvis!" We knocked on his hut.
"What do you lot want?" He asked us.
"We came to say goodbye to you, and that we will miss your tremendous caretaking skills."
I could hear the gang giggling behind me.
"Alright..."
"So thank you very much for being such a wonderful man. You've changed our lives."
He looked a little impressed with himself,
"Yes, well..."
"And we just want you to know that just cause you were in a porno magazine with your wife does not mean that we look at you any different!"
And then we all ran away laughing.
"Damn kids! I knew you were in my hut!" He yelled after us.
3:15 pm
All the gang is on my way to my house to get ready for tonight. And we are still laughing about Herr Kamyers phobia and Elvis' retiring day salute.
"Hey, Chickies!" Yelled a lardy foxwood boy.
"Yes?" I yelled back.
"Are you going to the stiff dylans gig tonight?"
"Mabye." I said.
He smiled and nudged all his idiot mates.
"What are you all going to be wearing.
"A nice outfit, but if you meet me behind the building after the gig I'll be wearing absolutely nothing."
Then we walked away and he looked like christmas had come early.
"Haha! Isn't that the same one you stood up before?" Asked Rosie.
"Yes! I told him he could see my basoomas if he showed up somewhere, I can't remember, and I never went."
"So are you going this time?" Asked Jas.
"Jas, are you just a little bit stupid, why would I meet some random boy in the back of a building in the nuddy-pants?"
"Well you do get around alot, Gee." She said.
I cannot believe her! Why would she say that! Grr, I hate her.
In my room
4:30 pm
We're all running around getting dressed up and doing our hair and make up. I refuse to talk to Jas and I've been avoiding her presence in my room.
"Rosie, please ask Mrs. Hugeknickers to pass the hair bouncibility cream."
"Jas, pass Georgia the hair bouncibility cream."
"Here you go, Gee. I'm sorry I said that. I don't know why it came out of my mouth."
"Rosie, please tell Mrs. Hugeknickers I thank her for being a kind enough mate to pass me the hair bouncibility cream. But please lay off the apologizing because I will never ever forgive her for what she said..."
Rosie opened her mouth to say it all but Jas interupted her,
"I heard what she said."
7:30 pm
On our way to the Foggy Horn. Wehave all linked arms, except Jas is on one end and I'm on the other.
8:00 pm
Really fun so far! We've been drinking lots of coca-cola and dancing away. The foxwood lad that I had told to meet me behind the building came up to ask me to dance and I said no, and he decided to talk to me instead. Merde.
"I can't wait till after the gig." He said, and he kept trying to look down my shirt.
"Please go away." I said.
Then he bought me a drink and kept talking/looking down my shirt.
"...so then I said to him, 'look mate I know you'"
"Hey, sex kitty!" Thank our good vati in heaven! ThankBuddha! Thank everone! Super Dave to the rescue!
"Hello Dave." The foxwood lad glared.
"Hello, Tim." He glared back. I almost laughed at the hilarosity of it all.
"Would you like to dance?" Dave asked.
"Of course." I said, I looked around for Ellen. She had gone to the loos. Good.
He took me to the dance floor and we danced to some fast music for a while. He is a pretty cool dancer. I imagine when we're far away in Los Angeles we can go dancing in all the hot clubs with the cool celebrities. That is if I marry him.
8:25 pm
Ellen alert! Ellen alert! I stopped dancing.
"Dave, uh, I think I need a drink."
"Oh...ok."
Ellen had been in the loos for the past 25 minutes making sure she looked absolutely fabulous for her manslave Brenden the pizza boy.
"Were you two dancing?" She asked.
"No." I said.
"Yes." Dave said. She looked at us both queerly (and no I don't mean in a gay way.)
"Is there something going on between you two?" She asked.
"No." I said.
"Yes." Dave said, and I looked at him. "Well...mabye."
"How is mabye?" She asked.
EARTH TO DAVE! EARTH TO DAVE! I DONT WANT HER TO KNOW ABOUT US!
Perhaps I could send him psychic messages with my brain?
I tried but it didn't work.
"Do you two snog?" She asked.
"Oh yes." He answered truthfully. I am so mad!
She looked a little sad for a moment, then she saw Brenden in the doorway and her smile became so wide I could see all her teeth.
"Thats great guys! Uh...I gotta go see Brenden now." And she walked over to him.
I was stunned! Shocked! Was she finally over Dave?
Dave seemed to be having the same reaction, then he turned and smiled at me.
"Would you like to dance again?"
"Sure."
8:45 pm
The stiff dylans have entered the building. Italiano Pratio is at the front looking very gorgey-porgey indeed. And most of the girls in the club have sort of flocked towards him. I waved to Dom in a cool way as I sat with the girls and their boyfriends...and Dave. I wonder what to address him as. I can't call him boyfriend because he's more of a, what you call, friend with benifits. I wonder if I could just call him my snogging partner?
10:00 pm
The stiff dylans have been playing for quite a while now. Masimo was singing really well and he did look pretty groovy. But oh well, I was dancing with Dave the L. having a blast.
"Dave will you please ask Mrs. Hugeknickers to move over a little so I can sit down. Not that I want to sit beside her anyway, but I have no choice."
"Mrs. Hugeknickers ie. Jas, as Georgias faithful and ever helpful man servant I am obliged to ask you to scooch your bum over a little so she can sit down." He said.
Jas gave me a look and then moved over.
"Dave, my wonderful manservant, will you please tell Jas I said thank you and that I am one step closer to forgiving her...but I am still not that happy with her."
"She says shes forgiving you, but not completely." He said in a bored voice.
"Yes I heard her." Jas said in a snooty voice, which I thought was very inappropriate for someone who had just called her best mate a whore.
Just then Dave took my hand in his and kissed it. Oh no. Isn't this something boyfriend/girlfriends do? Definately not something professional snogging partners do. Oh mon dieu.
"So what did Jassyknickers do to make you so mad?" He asked.
I was about to say nothing, but she opened her mouth first and told him the whole story.
"Round back with Tim?" He laughed his arse off for a few minutes.
"So thats why he's so keen on you." Then a little lightbulb seemed to light up over his head, "I have an idea."
10:15 pm
The stiff dylans took a break and Dave and I went to put our plan into action.
"Are you ready?" He asked, pointing to Lindsay who had draped herself over Italiano Pratio and was whispering in his ear and giggling.
"Yes." I said.
He smiled and pulled a jar of the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life out of his pocket. It was fake vomit.
"It's actually just spaghetti sauce, mashed up cheerios and yoghurt." He said, and I felt like vomiting myself.
"Oh...Oh my stomach." He moaned. He put the jar up by his face and walked over towards Lindsay.
"Oh god, I think I'm gonna be sick!" And with that he doubled over and pushed the entire jar of fake vomit on her.
"AHHHHH!" She yelled, I could not keep from laughing. She was chasing after Dave now with "Vomit" all over her face and clothes. Dave was too quick for her, he dashed behind the bar and hid.
"Be right back, sweetie." She said to I.P. "I have to go clean up, good thing I brought a change of clothes." And she stalked off to the loos.
HA! Only a drip like Lindsay would bring a change of clothes to a gig.
"Alright." Dave whispered, "Part two of the plan, it's your turn."
I smiled and nodded with a thumbs up then headed into the loos behind her. Once she was securely in a stall I got everyone else out of the loos by telling them someone had had a visit to the poo poo parlor division and it wasn't v. nice smelling. Then I stood a little bit outside of Lindsays stall. She had left her large purse outside of the stall with her change of clothes whilst she changed. I giggled evily in my mind as I took her purse and opened it silently. I could hear her grumbling to herself inside thestall. I am so deliciously sneaky! I took out her change of clothes and stuffed them into my little purse (it wasn't easy with all the lippy...good thing she was wearing the shortest skirt known to humanity so it didn't take up much space). Then when she flung her clothes she had been wearing over the top of the stall I quickly snuck up and grabbed those as well. I put those ones in a plastic bag and tied it up. Then I snuck out of the loos and locked the door.
Dave was waiting for my klingon salute to know that everything had gone as planned. I did it and he did a cross eyed look back.
"Next step." He mouthed to me, trying to make sure that none of the gang around him saw. I gave him another klingon salute and made my glorious way over to Tim the spotty boy from foxwood.
"Hey."I said in my best vixen voice.
"Hi." He said.
"Change of plans, get out right away to the back of the building, where the girls loo window is."
He gave me a queer look (again, not gay).
"Just get out there! I have to go change." I said.
He nodded and went out really fast to the back.
Now the plan was in full operation and I went to get Dave.
"Everythings set," I whispered in his ear and he kissed me. Yum Yum.
"Lets go." He said. Then the two of us walked out behind the building and hid behind some bins.
We waited for a few moments and then saw Tim come around the bend. He stood in the shadows outside the girls loo window.
"Theres Lindsay." Dave whispered. Sure enough there was the drippy one. She poked her head out first and then pulled herself out the window. But get this, she was in her thong and bra! Hahahahhahhahahahahahhahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Dave and I tried to laugh as quietly as possible from behind the bins as we watched her emerge from the window.
"Hello." Came the voice of Tim, "You actually showed. And you look great, wait...you're not the one I'm waiting for." He said getting a better look at her.
Lindsay looked too embarrassed to talk. She began to run in the other direction and ran right passed us.
Dave and I fell over we were laughing so much,
"I dont think I'll ever be able to get that mental image out of my head." I shuddered.
"We make a great team," He said "Both of us go tour enemies."
We did make a great team. I really like Dave, but do I like him, like him?
Ah, my red bottom is coming out to play again. GO AWAY!
2:00am
Fantastic evening! Danced the rest of the night away! Had fun with Dave and the gang, I also forgave Jas a little more. Stiff dylans played an excellent gig even though I.P was the lead. I miss Robbie. Wait, no I don't, he ditched me for sheep. Grr.
2:30 am
Good thing Jassy knickers never found out what Dave and I did to Lindsay and Tim...she'd probably have a fit or something about how 'mean' I am. At least I don't call my best mates whores.
Saturday May 21st
11:00 am
Just woke up...yum yum. Such a good night last night. Tonight is partay time! I had already spread the word and now there was just setting up to do.
11:30 am
Rang Jas.
"Jas?"
"Gee! You forgive me!"
"Yes, but only cause I need your help."
"With what?"
"Come round and help me get ready for the party."
"Alright."
Never has Jas been so easy to get through to and non-stubborn, probably cause she feels bad about insulting her bestest pally.
11:45 am
Jas came round and made a list of things to do for tonight in order of how we should do them. Sometimes she is so organized it scares me.
Here is the list,
1) Clean house (It has gotten a little pingy pongoes since I've been leaving pizza boxes everywhere.)
2) Buy food & Decorations (ie. Crisps, coca-colas, finger foods, balloons, colorful table cloths, plastic cups)
3) Invite Ace gang over to help decorate
4) Get music ready and plan out what we're to do at the party.
5) Get dressed, do make up and hair.
6) Set out food
7) Guests arrive
8) HAVE FUN!
How sad is she? She put number 8 as, 'Have fun.' Well of course, Jassy, mon petite nincompoop I am going to have fun. This is a party thrown by me and in all honesty I am le genius.
12:00 pm
Began cleaning till house is spick and span. Jas picked up pizza boxes while I cleaned up dirty clothes and did dishes. Jas swept and put away anything that didn't belong where it was while I poked around in the bedrooms making sure nothing embarassing was out for any couples who came up here to be alone to see. Found three pairs of dirty jim jams of Libbys in her bedroom and two pairs of pooey knickers under her pillow, erlack.
In mom and dads room I found condoms!ERLACK A PONGOES TIMES A MILLION! I don't want to think of my parents getting to Rosie& Sven level...thats disgusting! Still the condoms may come in handy if anyone decides to get frisky up here. Don't want know unexpected pregnancies happening at my suare extraordinaire. I just hope that no one will be getting to Rosie & Sven level in one of the bedrooms, knowing that someone may have done that in your own bed is almost as bad as knowing that your parents still do it.
House clean. #1 CHECK!
12:30 pm
Went to Jennings so Jas could see Hunky but found no good junk food for parties, just a bunch of organic veggie crap. Poo. So we headed to the store down the lane.
12:57 pm
Bought crisps, about a tonne of coca-cola, a cheese platter, mini pizzas and a veggie & dip platter because Jas insisted. Now we're heading to the decoration store.
1:23 pm
Bought a pack of balloons, colorful table cloths, streamers and a cool naughty dice game thing that Jas goggled at when I bought. On one dice it tells you what to do to someone and on the other it says where to do it on them...I probably will not play it because it sounds a little risque. But some people might want to.
1:25 pm
# 2 CHECK!
At home
1:45 pm
Home again. Rang the ace gang to come over and help decorate.
They came over straight away.
We blew up balloons and hung streamers and put up colorful table cloths. Then they all became dithering idiots when I showed them the dice game.
"That looks like fun." Rosie said and we all goggled at her like a couple of goosegogs.
Then again, she had gotten to Rosie & Sven level (hence the name) so she might be in to that sort of thing. Erlack.
2:50 pm
#3 CHECK!
3:15 pm
Ellen helped me carry down my stereo to the front room and we brought down all my cds. Then we sat around and argued about what we were going to do at the party.
"You should have made it a theme, Gee!" Said Rosie.
"But then it will be like all your parties."
"So whats wrong with that?"
"Your parties are nice. But I think I have heard about and been to enough of theme parties to last me a lifetime. I think hearing about the lord of the rings party put me over the edge."
"Well too bad cause next saturday I'm having another party and its going to be Cowgirl/Cowboy party."
I rolled my eyes.
3:30 pm
# 4 CHECK!
3:55 pm
We spent quite a while getting dressed and doing make up and hair. It was like deja vu from last night. Mabye I should have waited a little longer after the stiff dylans gig for a party?
5:10 pm
# 5 CHECK!
5:15 pm
Set out all the food in bowls and on platters and put out the drinks.
5:45 pm
# 6 CHECK!
6:00 pm
A few guests arrived! Tom, Rollo, Brenden and Dave, Mabs, Sarah, Patty and a few othersall came at 6. And Tim and all his foxwood lads, he glared at me when he saw me. Oh how I laughed.
8:00 pm
Parties doing pretty well! Everyone is dancing and having fun and I saw a few people go up to the bedrooms in pairs. Erlack, I hope no frisky business is going on up there.
Who am I kidding? Of course theres frisky business going on up there. Did I expect them to be up there having a good long chat?
9:00 pm
Dave asked me to dance quite a few times. I wonder if he thinks we are an item and not just two snogging partners with the general horn?
10:00 pm
Playing seven minutes in the closet. Ellen and Brenden went first, she came out all blushing and dithery and holding his hand. I snuck a look at Dave, he was grinning at me. He is quite cool. If we were to have kids they would probably be good looking. Which is always a plus
10:25 pm
Its my turn and Dave opened his mouth to say he was going inwith me, but Tim got there first. Erlack.Mon dieu. And triple merde.
In the closet
10:26 pm
Tim put his mouth on mine and did this sort of wet disgusting kiss that reminded me of the whelk boy. Errrgh, up close I could see the white bits of all his lurkers. I wonder if its contagious? He put his hand on mynunga! Erlack! I hate this! I want out! This must be the millionth boy to (wrongfully)assume that I would like theyre greasy hands all over mybasoomas! ACK!
11:00 pm
I brought out the dice game for everyone who wanted to play and suprisingly everyone did. Even Jas and Hunky got in on it.And she was goggling at me in the store like a goose gog when I bought it. Pah. I will never ever play this stupid gross disgusting game.
11:30 pm
Dave convinced me. I rolled and I had to lick his stomach. Erlack! His stomach! So I did, just glad that it was over. I was lucky that that was all I got though, some people had to do much much much worse things.
12:00 am
"Did you like my rock hard abs?" Dave asked patting his stomach.
"Yes...they were very...er...rocky?" We both laughed like a bunch of loons.
1:00 am
The rest of the night was fun but soon people started clearing out, I heard some say they were moving on to the next party a few blocks over. Mon dieu. How do they do it? Dave kissed me goodnight.
"See you later." He said. I grumbled, another infamous 'see you later'.
1:05 am
Erlack! Tim just asked me out. He asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend.
"Uh...no." I said and shut the door on him.
Stupid nunga holder, hes almost as bad as Jock Mcthick-or worse...my cousin.
Sunday May 22nd
12:00 pm
I am so tired. Too much partying for oneweekend.
Ah, my head hurts.
I should get something to eat. Or by the time Mutti and Vati come home I shall be skin and bones and Mutti will have another excuse to take me to see her love affairee Dr. Clooney.
1:00 pm
Walking to the store to get something healthy because I have been eating take away for the past week.
I went into Jennings and saw Tom.
"Hey Tom!"
"Oh. Hey, Gee." He said, he was bagging some old ladies carrots and cabbage.
"Talked to Jas since last night?" He asked.
"No." I said. I picked up some healthy pasta and sauce. With some carrots, dip, lettuce, dressing and cucumbers. I felt like the spokesperson for healthy eating.
"Did you here the good news?" He asked as I paid.
"About what?"
"Robbie..."
"Did he have his feet blown off by a rogue bore?" I asked, hopefully.
"Now, Now." Hunky gave me a stern eye. Which made me laugh quite a bit.
"Fine. What news?"
"He's coming home."
I dropped my bag of healthy crap and stared agog at him.
"What?" I asked.
"Yeah, he said now that hes had a taste of it hes bored. And he really misses you."
I felt my insides writh with guilt. He misses me? Oh mon dieu. I've been messing about with Dave the L. and hes been sitting alone in the sheep fields missing me. Perhaps singing songs about me and how I would never let my red bottom get in the way of our wonderful relationship? Gulp.
A/N
Hurrah! I am done the 4th chapter! Next coming soon...