Klutzy, Klueless Kohaku!

"Hello! Welcome to Know Your Stars, InuYasha Style! As you all know, I'm your announcer, Fae and today, we have our lovable, cute, freckled, yet totally forgotten... Kohaku!" she said with a bow as she flipped onto her already waiting throne. The audience clapped happily as she snapped her delicate fingers.

-snap-

-snap snap-

"Hellooooooo? Kohaku-kun! You're supposed to COME OUT NOW!" she screamed in a sing-song voice as a little boy, around age twelve stepped out from the shadows. He looked meek and seemed to be glancing behind his back every few seconds or so. Fae smirked, this would be too easy.

"Well, Kohaku, why don't you just sit... down... on this little...patch... of dirt so you may rest your weary and tired bones...?" Fae said with an insincere smile as Kohaku did as he was told. The audience gasped, was he that gullible. Fae smirked, this would be like taking candy from a candy machine.

"Well, Kohaku! Welcome to Know Your Stars, InuYasha Style! I'm your host Fae, and I will tell every one of your dearest secrets to your adoring public!" Fae happily said as she twirled her baton, making the bullet-proof glass raise once more! Kohaku glanced up, and began to speak in his normal deadpan voice.

"Who... are you...?"

"I told you, I'm FAE!" she screamed as she began the show by clapping her gloved hands.

"Kohaku-kun, Kohaku-kun, Kohaku-kun... he is really a cucumber in disguise! Seeeeee the greeeeeen in his outfit? Cucumber parts!" Fae said happily as Kohaku turned green.

"EWWWW! Cucumbers! Onee-san said those taste horrible! Wait... I have an onee-san...?" Kohaku said confusededly. Then, he began to violently tremble as he keeled on the floor. "AHHHHHHHHGH!" he screeched as he tried to not remember. Then, he sat up and stood up, seeming 'normal' once more. Fae quirked an eyebrow at this.

"Weirdo. Anyways, Kohaku, Kohaku, Kohaku... he killed his entire village off with the help of his vegetable friends, Kagura the Tomato... Naraku the FickleSnarf... wait... he's not even a vegetable..."

"HUH? Who is this 'Naraku' person? Who is Kagura? And I'm NOT A VEGETABLE!"

"Spidey the Eggplant in disguise as a Spider..."

"Eggplant? What's that? Who's Spidey?" Kohaku asked cluelessly.

"Oh... and did I forget to mention...? Kohaku killed his father because he couldn't get Kirara, who he wanted her fur to make his cumbersome hair more soft!" Fae crowed as Kohaku kneeled once more. He got up, eyes a devoid black once more.

"Get. It. Through. Your. Thick. Head. I am NOT a VEGETABLE!" Kohaku said as he tried to leap out of the glass dome.

-boing...-

-plop!-

"Oh, I forgot to tell you, huh?" Fae said through fake sympathy, "You're battling with bullet proof glass there!"

Kill her. Kill her, Kohaku, and you will be free... A cold voice whispered in Kohaku's head. Kohaku's empty eyes stared at Fae. Kill her. Kill her... KILL HER! the voice commanded as Kohaku lept out of the dome, breaking the glass gracefully with his sword. Fae gasped, she really needed to get insurance on those things! Or... perhaps she could just sue the company if the need arose...

"Die." Kohaku said in a dead-pan whisper as he aimed for her neck.

"AHHHHH!" screamed Fae, as the audience looked seriously alarmed, Fae had never screamed before, was this part of the show? "AHHHHHH! YOU IDIOT!" she screeched as she battered him repeatedly in the head with her now-heavy baton, "YOU RUINED THEM! YOU STOMPED ON MY SANDALS!" she screeched as she continued to pound him flat, his emotionless, pale face becoming rather red. But then again, when Fae got going, she got going with a vengeance!

Meanwhile, with InuYasha and Company...

-sniff sniff sniff sniff snort sniff sniff-

"InuYashaaaa! What on earth are you looking for?" Kikyo's deadpan voice echoed throughout the trees as Kagome got her bow and arrow ready, this was one undead lady she would never trust. InuYasha turned his head to see Kikyo floating in that ghostly way of hers towards them. Sango got her boomerang ready as Miroku got ready to suck her into his wind tunnel, all of them knew, except for InuYasha, that she was not one to be trusted. Suddenly, Kagome 'accidentally' tripped on some invisible rock. Causing Sango to 'accidentally' let go of her boomerang, which 'somehow' hit Miroku and he 'somehow' opened his wind tunnel, sucking in Kikyo.

A small gust of wind blew by as Miroku closed the wind tunnel. There was silence. Kagome swore one could drop a pin and everyone miles away could hear. Some leaves blew by. InuYasha tried to comprehend the fact, but it was too much for him. He was about to scream until...

WHOOSH!

Koga dashed by and grabbed Kagome's hands in a loving guesture. She blushed deep-red as InuYasha turned red as well, for a different reason.

"My dear, sweet Kagome, how are you?" Koga said as he dodged InuYasha's punch, "Ah, good to see you are alive and kicking as well, after all, I'm far too busy to meddle with a lowlife like you, you see, I am searching for a girl who goes by the name of... Fee, of Fra... or something..." Everyone's jaws dropped at this.

"You mean you're searching for her too!" Shippos screamed. Koga glared and nodded.

"Well, so are we!" Kagome exclaimed, "Hey, I know! Koga, why don't you team up with us and we will find Fae and get our revenge together!" Kagome said. InuYasha was about to object, but seeing the fire in her eyes made him think again.

And so... Kikyo was all but forgotten...

Meanwhile, Naraku had finally found Kagura and Kanna and had punished Kagura for talking to Sesshomaru and nearly dragging him to go with them on their quest. Sesshomaru, though, was not half as eager and lept away, leaving Kagura tomato-red in fury. Kanna looked just the same, except, perhaps, you could see the barest flicker of emotion-a smirk light up her face for a millsecond, then resurfce down once more. Perhaps the fact that Kagura was mud-soaked had something to do with it...

Back to the circus...

"TA-DA!" Fae proudly said as she finished torturing Kohaku. His face was now back to its pale color... but that was the only part that WAS pale... after all... he entire outfit had been painted green! Fae had gotten paint out of nowhere and somehow managed to get some 'fuzzy stuff' to stick onto him...

"Okee, well, nice meeting you, Cucumber! Don't worry, you will never ever need to hide your cumberness ever again!" Fae said cheerfully as she waved her hands and poof! Kohaku vanished!

"Well, see you next time, everyone!" Fae said with a wave, "After all, the show is back on air!" she said as she snapped her fingers, and poofed away as well.

Meanwhile...

PLOP!

Kohaku landed on top of FickleSnarf (Naraku) and they were both knocked out. Kohaku, from lack of oxyegen, and Naraku from being bonked on the head by... some people... (cough Kohaku and Kagura using Kanna's mirror cough) And Kanna stared at him for quite a while while Kagura flew away to clean her dirty kimono up.

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Sorry for being off air for so long! Gomen! If you would like to review but can't do it anyonomous and tell me who you are!

Master Magician

Fae

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