Sunday June 5th
8:00 pm
Today was so chalked full of bordemosity I literally slept the entire day. And the times that I wasn't sleeping I spent listening to my tape, wondering what my next present is, and contemplating when the hell I'll be ready to go to Rosie & Sven level.
10:00 pm
I wonder what Dave the L. And Ellen the dith were talking about. Dave said he would forever be faithful to me. Ok, well he didnt say that-but he implied it.
1:00 am
I really should be sleeping because I do have school tommorow, but this is a moment of sheer desperadoes. Perhaps I should speak with Dave tommorow? He is my horn advisor and he did say that lads like things more straight forward. But I'd need more than just 5 minutes to be able to snog and speak to him about Ellen the D.
Monday June 6th
8:30 am
walking to stalag 14
Alas, school again. Everyone will be speaking about Rosie's not-so-fab foreign party. It could not have been fab without me there, therefore I refuse to believe it was fab as everyone will be saying.
Hmmm...mabye they will not be saying its fab. Mabye it was terrible and everyone will be going around today saying 'erlack were you at Rosies not-so-fab foreign party the other night It was awful. Too bad Georgia wasn't there she would have made it fun!"
Yes, that is what they will be saying. Not that the party was fab, rather that it was awful and needed the rare essential ingredient...moi.
8:45 am
Met Jas at her gate.
"Hey Gee! Rosie's party was fab! Too bad you weren't there."
Bleh.
German
Hahahahaahahahahaha. Being in my solitary confinement I had forgotten how amazingly funnythe fabs and I could be together. Whilst Herr Kamyer was rambling on about hinkledorffs or something or other Rosie took out a bird puppet that looked quite life like if I do say so myself. She showed it to the rest of us and when we gave the famous klingon salute back she waited for him to turn his back to us and begin writing on the board. When he did she began to crawl up the aisle secretly and then when Herr Kamyer turned back to us the puppet was right in his face. He screamed with much feminosity and ran out of the room.
Hahahahahadihadihadiha!
3:30 pm
Got home just before the grounding nazi was going to hunt me down.
"Good, just on time again, Georgia. Up to your room straight away-normal procedure."
It was definately anything but normal, unnatural even, to keep something this beautiful locked away for the rest of her life.
3:45 pm
Opened Dave the L's gift for today.
It was a hand drawn picture of a stick boy in the mountains, blowinga horn. Then below the picture it read,
I've got the specific horn for Georgia Nicholson.
See you, kitty.
4:00 pm
Like always with Dave it made little to no sense, but it was so lovely and thoughtful at the same time.
4:56 pm
Did some liberating nuddy-pants dancing because HURAH, I finally havea proper boyfriend.
5:00 pm
I am a little worried though. Dave only had time to give me my present today because he was hurrying off somewhere with Ellen so I never got to ask him what he was doing with her in the first place. I will stay calm and not jump to any conclusions...
5:05 pm
THAT DITHERING COW HAD BETTER KEEP HER PAWS OFF MY LAUGH!
Thursday June 9th
3:35 pm
It has been exactly a week since I was sentenced for life. My very soul is eating away at itself as I watch the other children frolic around outside.
The fabs came and made another candlelight vigil to me just like they did when they thought I was off to live with sheep in kiwi-a-gogo land. Jas was wearing such a ludicrously short skirt that even from 10 feet above her I could see her giganticamus knickers. Doesn't that defy gravity or something?
8:10 pm
In my jim-jams and a mask getting ready for sleepydreamy time. I have noticed that being isolated from the rest of the world has really thrown my sleeping pattern back to regular time.
I still can't stop thinking about Dave and Ellen. What were they doing today after school? Ellen is a v. good friend of mine, she would not sneak around my back with him would she. No, Ellen is almost as dim as Jas, which makes her mentally incapable of doing anything mean to anyone else.
8:15 pm
Still, she is an amazing speller so she has to have some smarts in her.
8:20 pm
I'm not kidding. She always corrects my spelling errors like some sort of grammar teacher. Its quite creepy, actually.
8:30 pm
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Friday June 10th
3:00 pm
I told the ancients that McDuff was having a rehearsal (when really its on monday) So that I could stay out two hours later, I am so full of geniosity its not even funny.
5:15 pm
Found Dave. The two of us waved goodbye to our "mates" (I put quotation marks around mates because my so-called mates are going out partying with wet lindsay and her astonishingly dim other mates). Then after saying goodbye to the backstabbers we began snogging for england. It was quite fun. We snogged for about an hour before Dave stopped and took my hand.
He looked into my eyes all dreamy like and said,
"I really like you, Gee. I might even..."
But I cut him off because I knew that something quite serious was going to come after that and I get uncomfortable around serious Dave. It's like seeing adog meow, or the bummer twins clean.
"Uh..." I tried looking for a distraction, "...Can I eat your shirt?"
I must say though I have mucho calmnosity under pressure, yetwhen it comes to boys...I become Ellen.
He looked away a little sad, I think he got the message though.
Why did I freak out so much, for all I know he could be saying, "I might even...like maths." Or, "I might even...snog you 'til the cows come home".
And so what if he did say it? I do really like him. I don't know if it's that far along but...
Oh bugger I'm reading a little too much into this aren't I?
Jas must be rubbing off on me.
6:00 pm
I'm home in my bed of pain, of course, thinking about what just happened. I was planning to ask Dave about Ellen and have a long discussion with him, but it ended up coming out sort of short.
I said, "Dave whats been going on with you and Ellen?"
He said, "Ellen? Oh nothing. We've become friends again I think, no more awkwardness. Why?"
"Oh. Just wondering."
"Are you jealous?"
I looked at himwith a look of proposterosity, "Of course not."
He laughed, "Yes you were...you were jealous! HA!"
"No I was not!"
"Yes you were!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
Then we began snogging again.
Oh brother.
6:15 pm
At least at the end of it he did something really dreamy. He ran his hands through my hair all slowly then looked into my eyes like there was something interesting about them (fat chance) and then leaned in slowly and whispered, "You are the only one for me. Ever." Then he handed me a gift, gave me one last snog and walked off.
6:30 pm
I still havn't opened my gift...I'm quite nervous.
9:00 pm
Still haven't opened it. Mum poked her head in an hour ago to ask what Dave had given me today and I told her to bugger off because it was my personal business and the sight of her in that skirt made me want to vomit.
9:30 pm
She got a little shirty after that.
11:45 pm
Still havn't opened it...
12:45 pm
I can't do it. I'll wait until tommorow.
1:34 pm
I wonder if my so-called "mates" are having a right blast out with that wet stick insect excuse for a girl.
1:35 pm
And her astonishingly dim friends.
Saturday June 11th
6:57 pm
Alright, its the moment of truth. I've been waiting all day in my room, staring at this one little package from Dave. It's been driving me insane. I haven't been able to think of anything else all day except what might be in that package, I am quite afraid of what may be inside actually.
But I must open it now, I've been putting it off too long.
7:30 pm
...opening NOW.
8:00 pm
...Okay, no, opening NOW!
9:00 pm
...Alright, I swear I'm opening it now.
10:00 pm
It wastwo sock puppets! I've been worrying about sock puppets for the past day anda half! The puppets were fashioned to look like Dave and I. Theres a little note on Dave that says,
You can figure out just what your going to do to me after you become a free woman on these puppets. Practice makes perfect.
Love,
Dave.
10:35 pm
Erlack! Does he expect me to make these puppets snog and pretend they're us! No way in hell!
11:20 pm
Just tried it. Ooer, I really miss Dave now. And monday is so far away...
Authors Note:
Howdy Y'all! I'm going on vacation with my older sister to Europe! We're going to backpack all aroundfor a month (except we're gonna stay in hotels because we're wimps and we have dads credit card...he's not too happy about that one.) It's gonna be amazing! I've never been to Europe before! When I'm in England I'm going to walk around London and the cities and get inspired by stuff for the next chapters! WOOT! But the downside to all this is that I'm going to be gone for a month, which means no chappys for quite a while. As long as you all promise to stay with me and not think I abandoned you or something, I wont worry too much. It's only a month after all. I'm leaving tommorow at 5:30 pm my time. I'm really excited. I've known about this trip for like a month now but I've never said anything on here cause i've been so busy with exams and school ending and everything lately. So I ended up telling you guys I'd be gone for a month the day before, I'm really sorry about that. So yeah, just hold in there...I swear I'll come back. I swear I wont meet some groovy looking massimo-esque boy in Italy and run away to discover my italian roots-I SWEAR (cough) lol. Ok, thanks for being such great readers and I love getting comments from you guys! SEE YAS!