Hi guys! The stupidest thing EVER happened! I sent in a chapter twelve, and somehow my computer deleted it before i could even get back up of it. I was so mad. So now I can only remember a few things that happened in chapter twelve but I'll try to write it the same I did before, some of you already had read the chapter that was deleted, I hope you like this one as much. sorry.

Emma.

Tuesday June 14th

assembly

Slim is giving us some sob story about her childhood. Boo-di-hoo-hoo. On a lighter note, I found out there is a stiff dylans gig at the buddha lounge this friday! Cooooolioso! I will be out of solitary confinement by then and will be able to party to my little hearts content.

r.e.

Oh, how unbelievably sad.
Ms. Wilson has brought her sad saggy boyfriend pierre the frenchy into class today to announce they were engaged. Double emphasis on the saggy. He has male nungas! I hope the two of them have a happy life together in their house of sad, cor his nungas are almost as big as my muttis. And thats saying something.

3:10 pm

McDuff rehearsal. Oh joy. Shakespeare was so incredibly boring, and he's setting such a terrible example for us british folk. I'll bet you a squillion pounders that people over in hamburger a go go think we still use words like 'thee, ye, and forsooth'.

Nauseating P. Green has been following me around all rehearsal telling me lovely (not) stories about Prince Oliver IV's new litter of baby vermin. She wants to give one to me. Joy unbounded.

5:00 pm

I got out of McDuff rehearsal fifteen minutes earlier than normal so as to have half an hour with my beloved.
Where is that loveable lad?
"Dave the laugh? O Dave the laugh? Where for art thou Dave the laugh? Deny thy father,
refuse thy name...er...uh...yeah."

Spotted him!

10:00 pm

Hmm had quite the lovely half an hour with Dave the apparent laugh. He gave me a gift and I am just unwrapping it now.

five minutes later...

Its a llama!

two minutes later...

No, I'm not kidding...a llama.

11:00 pm

What in the name of sir elton johns pantyhose was he thinking? He gave me a llama that when you pull back his long neck shoots candy hearts out of his bum-oley.

12:15 am

Hahahahahahahaha he gave me a llama!

Wednesday June 15th

8:45 am

Yessss! The last day of stalag 14 for the summer hols! The fab five walked to school together linking arms and singing, 'Schools out for summer!' and then doing a ceremonial disco dancing inferno. Alas, Wet lindsay and her incredibly sad mates were walking along beside us and decided to join in with us. Since when has Lindsay ever had a sense of humor? I always thought she was an ugly humorless troll, but thats just my opinion.

I hate Jas.

assembly

Slim is giving us our last assembly speech.

"We had a very productive year aside from a few of you (-looks straight at me-), and I look forward to seeing all of you next year. yadda yadda yadda..."

I wonder if she has to have one of those built in toilets in her bed because shes too big to get out and go to the piddly diddly department in the middle of the night.

I asked Rosie in a very hushy hushy voice, "I wonder if she has to have one of those built in toilets in her bed because shes too big to get out and go to the piddly diddly department in the middle of the night."

Rosie began laughing histerically. I was being serious though.
She won ourselves two bad conduct marks on the very last day of school. Cheers, Rosie.

maths

It was quite sad saying goodbye to ms. stamps moustache which I did (very quietly of course) but the fabs were giggling so hard that ms. stamp had a nervy b. and seperated us for the rest of class. Poo.

p.e.

ugh, double ms. stamp. It's a good thing this is the last day. Ms. Stamp looked quite sad as we hopped into the showers in our nuddy pants for the last time this year. She must be sad not to see another naked womans body for the whole summer.
I thought I saw a little tear trickle down her face, or mabye it was just the water I splashed her with by accident when i dropped the hose thing in my shower cubicle thingy and it started spraying everywhere...yes that was probably it.

lunch

I was heading to my locker to find my very nutricious lunch (a jammy dodger and a fizzy drink) when I heard a quiet voice calling my name,
"Georgia...pssst."

I looked out the window and there, hiding behind some bushes was Dave the apparent laugh! Hahahahha my beloved had snuck out of his school and into mine!

"Dave! What are you doing here?" I ran out to greet him. He pulled me behind the bushes with him, kissed me, and said,
"I came to give you your last present..."
"But it's only half past noon."
"This one is special."
"Oh...well I thought the llama was quite special. I laughed my arse off for centuries. Libby enjoyed it very much too, she came in and started playing with it. She made up a new song! It goes, 'llama llama poopy bum! bum oley bum oley! llama llama sweety poopies, I love to eat my llamas poopies!" And the song goes on like that for a while, and then my vati came in and made a dance that went with the song it was actually quite funny seeing el beardo dancing to the sweety poop song and he did this weird sort of jig thing where he went-"
"-Georgia I love you."
WHAT!
I didn't get to finish my story, and he interupts me with that. Oh my, now its awkward, what do I say back to that? I do like him very much but do I...love him? I don't know. Too much information! System overload! System overload!
"Ahem. There are no boys allowed on school property unless there is special permission, which I assume you did not get. Well, well, well...Georgia Nicholson, you should know the school rules by heart by now, you seem to break everyone of them." It was my all time best chum in the entire world (not), Thongy mcSticklegs (also known as extremely WET Lindsay)
"Hello, Lindsay. Er, I was just lost and Georgia was coming out to show me the way out of the school. I swear." Dave made a feeble attempt.
"I wonder what Ms. Heaton will think about this?" And she traipsed off to find her master.

2:30 pm

Sitting in slims office, shes babbling on for a squillion years about proper behaviour and how I am the only girl in the history of this school to get five bad conduct marks on the last day of school (one from assembly, one from giggling in maths, one from spraying everyone in the showers and a whopping TWO for having a boy on school property). I have to say I feel a litle honored. She said there was nothing she could do for punishment now, seeing as there is summer hols tommorow, but she said that next term I am to clean the coat rooms every day for two months. Joy unbounded. While she was babbling though, I couldnt help getting that squirmy squirmy feeling in my stomach...what was I going to do about Dave?

On my way out the Jackie and Alison Bummer were sitting in Slims waiting room of death, they stuck their feet out and tripped me as I walked by. They laughed like a pack of hyenas in a comedy club. I could not find the hilariosity in all this, but then again...they are pretty daft. I gave them a pitying look because theyre so daft, they cant help being mean snots when they are ever so lacking in their brain capability. They just kept sniggering though and said,
"It's amazing she wasn't hurt from that fall straight on her face!"
"I suppose her nose broke the fall." And that set them off laughing again, until Slim poked her extra large head with all its wobbly chins outside of her office, then they became as silent as two silent things.A
Serves them right for joking about my nose. Still, Dave the laugh loves me, even if I have a giganticamus nose, so there must be something lovable about me.
That's just got me thinking all about Dave the laugh again, what am I going to dooooo?

3:00 pm

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The fabs and I all walked home together again with linked arms, and AGAIN with wet lindsay by our side. She smirked everytime she looked at me. She is really trying to steal my bestest pally. She kept linking arms with her and pulling her away from me, and calling her jassy spassy her "best friend". This made me really upset, along with all the dave the laugh mumbo jumbo going on in my head.

I could only dance half-heartedly when they did another celebritory lets go down to the disco dance. Alas.

3:15 pm

Once we had gotten rid of the rest of the fabs, and you know who I was able to have a heart to heart talk with good old jassy knickers.

"Jas, Do you still love me?"
"Oh, Gee, please don't start with that love crap."
"But, I mean it, you havn't been spending time with me lately. You have been spending alot of time with Wet Lindsay-"
"-Don't call her 'wet Lindsay'"
"You never used to mind when I called her that." I grumbled with grumbleosity.
"Yeah well, shes my friend now, and you're going to have to get used to that."
"I know Jas! It's just that she kept calling you her bestest pally today, but your my bestest pally not hers."
Then Jas did something remarkably un-Jaslike, she turned around and pulled me into a big hug.
"Oh, Gee, no one could ever replace you as my best friend. No one."
"Not even a wet stick insect with a tiny forehead and a disgusting thong up her bum-oley?"
"No not even that." She tried to give me a stern 'Jas' look but she was giggling, "Lindsay has been following me around alot lately, thats been weird...she'll never be part of the fab five thats for sure."
"Well thats good, I was starting to get vair vair worried."

Then we hugged again and I mosied on over to my house, where my vati was undeniably waiting for me to arrive fiddling with his badger chin.

3:30 pm

"Congratulations Georgia...you're grounding is over. How was school?"

The sweetest words I've ever heard my vati say...well, minus the school part.

11:00 pm

in my bed of pain

Why is life so unbloodyfantastic? Does someone out there hate me? I have only just been delivered the sorry news from el beardo mountain message man (he was wearing a lederhosen for german night at the pub...how indubitably sad). Mutti and Vati are going out for a 'date' on friday evening and they can't find anyone to babysit Libby, so I am being forced against my will to babysit that night when I should be off on my way to the buddha lounge looking extra sex goddess-y.

11:05 pm

How wonderful, Angus and Naomi are having a lurrvefest at the end of my bed...
There is a lot of yowling involved and I for one don't particularily want to watch a cat porno.

11:12 pm

This is so disgusting! I don't want two cats getting to 'Rosie and Sven' level on my bed! This is where I have to get my beauty sleep! I tried to push the two of them off but they just swatted at me.

11:30 pm

Being forced to sleep in the living room on the sofa, it is quite the life I leaf.

11:32 pm

Hahahahahahahahahahaha I just said life I leaf! It is amazing how I can keep my keen sense of humor in times as depressing as these.

12:00 pm

Rolley rolley on the sofa-y. Vair vair uncomfortable. It will be amazing if I ever get to sleep.

I wonder what Dave the laugh is doing right this moment?

I wonder if he's thinking about what he said to me today?

I wonder if he's wondering what I'm doing right this moment?

I wonder if he's wondering about me wondering about him right now?

I wonder if he thinks I'm insane. Probably.

12:05 pm

But he still loves me, hahahahaha.

eep.

HEY! More coming soon I swear! Only three or so chapters left until this fic is finito! Don't worry I'll probably make a sequel...it depends thought on how much feedback I get, should I make a sequel?

Thanks guys!

Emma.