Was thinking about the Mallpisode and this fell out of my head! Not very cheerful – baaad day (my date 4 our summer ball had to cancel on me :-( ) Ah well! Read and Review please!
Summary: Kirsten thinking re Kirsten-Sandy in 'The Mallpisode'
Disclaimer: I'm sure you can guess what I'm gonna say but I'd better say it anyway. I own zip to do with the O.C.
Daylight Strangers
Everything was so strange.
Strange.
They were strangers.
Twenty years married and suddenly strangers.
Nothing they did seemed to fit together anymore.
Kirsten used to think she and Sandy were made to be together. They fit together, perfectly. Their bodies tessellated. No gaps, no cracks.
There were cracks now.
Great big cracks running right through their marriage. Through both of them. Right through her heart.
They didn't communicate. At all.
No words.
No gestures.
No looks.
No kisses.
No thoughts.
Once they had been connected. They didn't need words to speak, they didn't need touches to feel. Their eyes could speak. Their souls could feel.
That seemed to have disappeared.
The mere idea of actually forming words seemed impossible. The inner voices were also silent.
Nothing seemed to work.
They couldn't even function. They couldn't function without each other, but now they didn't seem to work together either.
Christ, pouring coffee became a drama.
Wherever they were, whatever they were doing, it felt strange.
They were out of time.
Hopelessly, horrendously out of time with each other.
No more rhythm, no more union.
That morning in the kitchen; holy awkward, as Seth would put it.
That evening; polite, careful, contrived. He meant it, but that's how it felt.
Unnatural.
The simplest things were no longer natural. They were in a suspended reality. It had to stop. The only time things were ok were at night. Curled up together, their tense bodies finally relaxed and able to tessellate together again. The unholy strangeness removed as they fell easily into routine. Some things couldn't change twenty years convention. And however angry or upset they were, however strange things felt, they always found each other at night; their bodies drawn to each other as they slept. Whatever happened between them, somehow they always woke up twined together, their arms tight around each other.
Kirsten could wake in the night and still feel Sandy's arms around her, feel the way she was pulled up against his chest, feel his warm breath tickling her neck. And she could pretend everything was fine, everything was normal, because this was natural, this was how it was meant to be.
It was daytime that was the problem.