Chapter VII
I woke an hour later, dawn's light reaching across the floor like a white finger. I stretched and noticed Éowyn had gone. I did not blame her. She needed rest.
I slipped out of the bed, hoping someone had left a dress for me. I found a plain maroon dress, and I lifted the dress to smell its clean smell, I dropped it. My hands had been no doubt washed, but they still smelled putrid. My face smelled putrid. I would need another bath in order not to make everyone else sick.
I decided not to put on that dress. I didn't want to make a lot of extra work for someone else.
---
I finally received a bath, doing some improvisation on my part on where the water was. The cool water was rather refreshing, if a little cold early in the morning.
Thankfully, I encountered no one in the hall and was able to find my way back from where I had come. I found the maroon dress again, and I had just put it on when there was a knock on the door. Pushing my wet hair behind my head, I opened the door.
Éowyn stood before me. "Will you be coming to breakfast?"
To tell the truth, I was not very hungry. On top of that, remembering certain incidents from last night's dinner did not help, considering it was my very first dinner.
I began to shake my head.
"Do not be such a coward, Ardeas. Uncle will quite literally skin them if any of them mentions it. He was furious last night, indeed."
Really. Even though I like this man a great deal, I have serious doubts that this man, who just happens to be the king of a small, yet plucky nation really cares that I threw up last night when I ate too much. Go with the lie.
"Truly, I am not hungry."
Éowyn raised an eyebrow.
"Suit yourself."
She turned and left for the hall. After thinking of my options of where to go, I decided on the library. It had seemed quiet yesterday, as if not many frequented it.
Yesterday: it seemed so long ago, like a dream from which I had woken.
I found my way to the library with much difficulty, but ending with satisfaction as I finally remembered the way. No one was in there; they were all at breakfast.
I picked up a leatherbound book, flipping through it for pictures. It looked like some sort of history book. There were several painstakingly drawn pictures of men who looked like kings and princes. There were two princes who must have been twins, they were nearly identical. The writing in the book, though crip and neat, was unreadable to me, obviously.
The pictures were fascinating. I especially loved the pictures of the twins. They had several pages devoted to them, I surmised, or at least, five pictures. Three were pictures showing them as children, youths, and as young men. It then showed them riding off to battle tomorrow. The last picture was despondent. Both of them were lying on the battlefield, facing each other, blood on their chests from wounds of some sort, their eyes open, but without the life they had shown in the other pictures. They could only be dead. It was almost worthy of tears.
It felt sad to me, these twin brothers, who died side by side, but I ca not tell you why. I knew nothing of these men; they could have been sadists for all I knew, and yet their death was sad all the same. I felt my eyes beginning to water. A trickle of blood was running from the mouth of one of the men. They were now gone. Utterly, truly, and eternally gone.
They had seemed so full of life in the previous pictures, and now gone, so young. It was like a terrible mistake. I half expected to turn another page and find them getting up and walking back to their horses. They couldn't really be dead. They were too young to die. People don't die that young; they just don't.
I felt a tear slide down my cheek. It splashed onto the edge of the page leaving a dark mark where the water had soaked in. I wanted to turn the page and find them alive and well. But somehow I knew they were dying in the picture.
The way their eyes showed no life, their hands still clutching their swords...
I slammed the book shut.
---
Krane voice sounded from the doorway, "What troubles you, milady? What made you treat that text with such distaste?"
"I have a headache, my lord," I mumbled before quickly shoving the book back onto the shelf, turning around, and quickly running out of the library. I left Krane in a state of confusion at my actions.
I slowed my gait as I got to the stairs, and began plunging upwards in the pitch blackness. What had disturbed me about those twins?
Was it death?
I never thought of death like that, being utterly and eternally gone. Maybe whoever my parents were. They must be dead, but I cannot remember them. It is not the same...
If that dratted artist had not drawn those twins so well!
I felt my eyes watering again.
I practically sprinted down the hall to my little guestroom.
I used a washbasin and washed my face, clearing it of all my emotions. A small mirror beside it showed my emotions no longer existing. Complete neutrality. A clean nothing.
I sat in a high backed chair next to the window, waiting for something to happen next. When would Éowyn come looking for me? Or Krane for that matter? I had done nothing short of pushing past him. Maybe I would be ignored.
Is that what I wanted? To be ignored? Or do I still want to be the center of attention as the poor skinny little girl who was abused and mistreated in the home of a "wise" man?
Was I conceited? I certainly hoped not, but all the same. Here I was, a servant: doing nothing in the house of my king. It was morning; there was work to be done, and I had no titles to call my own. Was I selfish for not insisting I help? Even Éowyn hadthings to do, she admitted it herself. She did not just sit around and look pretty.
I was the fifth wheel of a wagon, not making much sense, trying to be the central focal point on the wagon.
Why had they rescued me anyway? Was it pity? Did I need to be rescued?
To be sure, I was not happy with Rourn and Findulwyn. I was not pleased, and I was certainly not contented. But I was surviving all the same. Was it all necessary? Was I conceited enough to believe that I was important enough to be rescued? I was not royalty. Even if I had been, surely Théoden would have recognized royal parentage in me. I was nothing really. Why was I living here? I was worthless.
I was Outcast. I did not deserve it.
This led me to a conclusion about Edoras. I did not belong here. This was not my part.
The sun's light crossed the room as she rose higher into the sky.
Should I risk running away off into the wilderness? Did I want them to rescue me, so that once again I could be in thet center of attention? Did I really want them to ignore me?
Did I deserve Théoden King's attention? Certainly not. And yet, why was it offered to me? Why was I here?
The door opened to reveal Éowyn.
"There you are, child. I have been looking for you."
My philosophical thoughts were banished to the furthest reachest of my mind. For the time being.
"Me?"
"Of course you. Come, Uncle would like to see you."
Me? Why?
She awaited a response from me. I casually stood, smoothing out the wrinkles of the dress.
I walked passed her into the hallway, pausing to wait for her.
"Ardeas? How is your headache?"
What headache? My excuse to Krane...
"Much better. Thank you, milady," remembering my manners.
We followed the by now much familiar path to the main hall where Théoden King sat on his throne for most of the day. Éowyn pushed open the doors with confidence and ease. I felt so stupid next to her. What had I been thinking yesterday? I should have more reverence for such a woman as Éowyn. They would not keep me forever here. What would I do when I was no longer a guest? I would have slapped myself for having such childlike fancies, but it would be awkward to slap one's self in public.
I approached the throne and curtsied as best I could for Théoden. He had seen me as soon as I had entered. He smiled at me.
"Good morning, Ardeas. I noticed you did not come to breakfast. Ill from the previous night?"
I gave a faltered nod. That was partially true.
"I have wanted to have a decent conversation with you, Ardeas."
"With me, my lord?"
He smiled warmly. It no longer seemed real to me.
"Of course, with you. Would you prefer before or after noonmeal?"
"Before the noonmeal, my lord, if it is not so much trouble." Whatever he had to say to me, I wanted to get it over with.
"Very good, then. Would be so kind as to come with me to my study?"
I nodded politely like a good little girl. In my mind, I was screaming.
---
What on Arda did Théoden King want to talk to me about?
He motioned me through a door. I walked into the room.
It was a beautiful room, a small window on the ceiling let a little light into the room. Browns and greens seemed to be the main feature of the room, with a few soft greys. Tapestries adorned the walls. Bookcases were everywhere the tapestries missed. In the center of the room was a large desk, with a rather imposing chair behind it. In front of the desk were two chair, made of wood and covered in a material I could not recognize.
I stood in the center of the room, awed by its luxury and richness. The carpets beneath my bare feet where thick and warm.
He gestured at a chair before the desk.
"Sit, Ardeas."
He moved behind the desk, pulled out his on chair, and sat down in the most oxymoron kind of way: dignified (he was the king, afterall), and casual (creating a pleasant relaxed atmosphere, but not enough for me).
I sat slowly on the chair, feeling very nervous and self-conscious. This wasn't just some older man who had saved my life: this was the king! And I had been so disrespectful before! The embarrassment! I took a deep breath as quietly as possible and willed myself not to flush scarlet. I just hate myself sometimes!
"You must be wondering why I wanted to speak with you, Ardeas."
Understatement of the century, I thought.
I nodded.
He smiled.
"I suspected as much. You may be wondering what you would be doing in the future here."
My mind didn't reply. I nodded.
"You're a very unusual case, Ardeas. I have been not quite sure what I am to do with you."
Slit my throat, I replied inwardly. Saves time, and as an added plus, your presence is graced with my absence.
"In fact, my child, you have rather startled my son. Your presence seems to remind him greatly of someone...someone who lived in Meduseld, long ago."
I guess that's why he was staring at me the whole time I was outside. Maybe that's why that other man was staring at me too. If says my mother was a royal, I was going to scream...
"Of whom do I remind him, my lord?"
Théoden paused to clear his throat. "There was a young woman who lived in Meduseld, whom you starkly resemble, I have to say myself now. She was the daughter of a lord..."
Damn it! This is all happening to prettily! There is no way I could be a slob who suddenly turns into a royal. The last thing I am is a royal.
With a "pardon me, my lord," I ran screaming out of the room.
---
Talk about an embarrassing moment in life; but that was what I had promised myself I would do if he said something even remotely implying that I was royalty. I could not be royal! It was an impossibility! Everything happening so prettily! Elbereth! What was happening to me?
I ran through the hall screaming, pushing past a very surprised Krane and Théodred, and managed to push open the door, hearing them make noises of concern as Théoden bellowed from his study.
I pushed the door behind me, still screaming. Where would I run?
---
Ten Years Previously
A lone tree sat next to the cottage. Beside it, the bodies of the two women lay, slain. The blood trickled from their throats. The cottage was burning. Many Orc footprints crossed the area. One of the women held a knife and on it was the blood of an Orc. The blood dripped away from the scene, finally ceasing after a hundred feet.
A league away from the scene, a battle had raged, visible from the cottage. The Orcs lay in a heap; their corpses burned, the smoke of which rose to the heavens and was seen by many watchful eyes.
A young girl around the age of four stood a few yards from the tree and the burning house. Her eyes showed no emotion. The stared at the bodies: one her mother, and the other her mother's dear friend. Aunt Thera had sent her away to play in the brooke when the Orcs had first appeared on the horizon. She had come back hours later to this.
What is wrong with Mummy? Why is Aunt Thera holding knife that is dripping with blackberry juice? They look like they squashed the strawberries from the garden on their necks? What are they doing? I am hungry. It is nearly evening meal.
Horses neighed on the horizon as they galloped away, the last from the battle.
The girl turned to watch them.
Oh I wish I had a pony! I suppose Mummy and Aunt Thera will wake up soon enough. They must be tired. I will play at the brooke for a few more hours.
The girl removed herself and went to the brooke to splash around.
The sky soon turned dark with the setting of the sun.
I will go to the village. I've always wanted to go to the village but Aunt Thera said I was too young. I will show them!
The girl left the brooke and took off in a random direction.
---
I ran off down the side of the porch toward the practice field.
People were there. Dammit. Mostly men, but I could see a girl about Éowyn's age start shooting arrows on a target by herself off by herself. None of the men would let her into the group. I decided to go talk to her.
I calmly strode to her, hoping Théoden would not come looking for me anytime soon. I could not bear him seeing me after I ran out on him like that. It was foolish, but all the same. Everything was working out too perfectly. I needed some mistakes to make myself seem more real to myself, which sounds so utterly odd.
"What are you doing?" I asked to the girl who was most obviously doing archery. It was an introduction though.
"Archery," she replied in a soft voice. She would not look me in the eye. She was unbearably anti-social. Maybe it was just a bad day for her.
"My name is Ardeas. What isyour name?" I said as cheerfully as I could muster.
"Morwyn," she said quietly. She asked, her brows bent in confusion, "Are you the girlthey say threwup last night?"
I looked down, supremely embarrassed. I gave a little nod.
Her features showed a ghost of a smile, but faded when I looked her in the eye. "That was very funny, Ardeas." Her voice no longer had feeling.
As if to strengthen her point, I heard some of the men laughing too loudly and too together to be at anything else but myself. I bit my lip and did not turn around.
"I am sorry that you just caught me leaving, Ardeas, but that was my last shot. I am due to see the seamstresses about a new gown.My mother's orders."
"But you only just began..." I said.
She firmly replied, signalling that the conversation was at an end. "It was nice to meet you, Morwyn."
She hesitated, as if to say something more. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye and apparently decided not to say anything at all. She walked calmly away, though her back was bent under some unknown stress. It was almost sad to see a pretty girl such as herself so melancholy. She looked back at me watching her and broke into a run.
What had I done to upset her so?
I heard the men laughing again.
I turned around with an intent of saying something very harsh and very rude, but just in time, held my tongue. These were, for the most part, noble's sons. I could find myself knee-deep trouble.
"Look! She isturning green again!"
I glared at the man that Éowyn had introduced to me as Séthan.
"Are you all right, lady? Are you going to vomit again?" Special emphasis was put on the "again." I was going to kill him.
No, no, no, my mind chastised myself. It would not end like this. He did not deserve my retorts. The wind blew my hair across my face. I smiled demurely, smoothed out my dress, and sat, facing the wind.
They jeered some more, laughed, but I decided to pay no attention. It still hurt though. They could not let a mistake go. Bastards.
A/N: I don't like Author Notes at the beginning of chapters so from now on, they will all be at the end. (rather pointless author's note)
Happy New Year everybody.