CHAPTER 5

Hazel was on top of me, smashing her lips against mine, but the only thing I could think about was how great this would feel if Manny was doing this to me.

"Jimmy? What's wrong?" Hazel asked.

She was sitting up now and frowning at me.

"Nothing. I'm just kind of...out of it."

She beamed and jumped up.

"Okay! Let's go to the dot and check the scene." She squealed.

I sighed and sat up. No! I wanted to say. I want to go kiss Manny! But I didn't do that. I grabbed Hazel's hand and led her downstairs.

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Manny POV

After Jimmy went upstairs with Hazel, I decided to get a drink at the dot and sulk. I slid to the counter and realized Craig was next to me, doing the same thing.

"Hey" I said.

"Hi" he replied.

Since the abortion, we hadn't really talked. I needed to break the ice sometime.

"So...Love problems?" I asked, instantly regretting it.

"Yeah, you could say that." He sighed.

"I guess we're both having bad luck." I replied.

Craig scratched his head.

"Look, Manny, if you're talking about me-" He started.

I rolled my eyes.

"Craig! It's not you!" I said.

"Oh." He said.

I glanced over at the door. In came Hazel and Jimmy attached at the hip. I could feel tears coming to my eyes. Why do I always fall for unavailable guys? Craig must have noticed, because he followed my eye line.

"It's Jimmy, isn't it?" he asked.

I turned back to Craig. For some reason, I lost control of my voice. I just couldn't lie to Craig. So I decided to run. I grabbed my purse and whirled around. I bumped into someone and fell on him. When I looked up, I realized I was in Jimmy's arms.

"Sorry" I mumbled, and ran.

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Jimmy POV

I chased after Manny. I don't really know why, actually. All I know is that she was talking to Craig, and he said something to make her cry. She was sitting on a bench, sobbing. I sat down next to her. She quickly wiped her tears away.

"Go back to your girlfriend, okay, Jimmy?" she said.

"I just wanted to make sure you're alright." I replied.

"I'm fine," she said coldly.

"Manny-" I said.

She started crying again. She looked so beautiful, even with tears in her eyes. I just couldn't help myself. I put a finger under her chin, and turned her towards me. I gently kissed her, and also experienced the happiest moment of my life.

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Manny POV

I stayed attached to Jimmy for a few minutes, enjoying this, pure beautiful moment. But then I remembered Hazel. I shoved him off.

"Jimmy, I can't."

Jimmy pulled back and sighed.

"Manny, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." He said.

"It's okay. I should go. Hazel's gonna realize that you ran out with me and...." I trailed off.

Craig was walking towards us and I sat up straighter.

"Manny, I should take you home." Craig said.

"Okay." I whispered.

I got up and followed Craig into his car. As I sat back and gazed out of the window, I realized something. Because of Craig, I would be alone and miserable. We both had messed up so badly that I would never date again. And neither would Craig.

"Craig, we messed up." I said, tears running down my cheeks.

Craig sighed and looked at me.

"Yeah, we did." He replied.

"It's all my fault. If I had just had the baby, we could be in front of the fire right now, drinking hot cocoa while we had the baby monitor by our side, listening for Craig Jr." I sobbed.

"Manny, you know it wouldn't be like that. We'd both be miserable. It would be a miracle if we weren't hungry, failing school, kicked out of our houses or drug addicts right now. And we would probably have to kill each other for food."

I laughed a little.

"You're right." I said sadly.

I looked out of the window.

"But sometimes, I just wish we had kept our baby." I said.

Craig put his hand on mine. It felt good to know that he was there.

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Craig POV

Manny was very emotional tonight. I had no idea how much the abortion affected her. She had her head on my chest, and was asleep. I pulled over in front of her house, but she looked so peaceful that I didn't want to wake her. Also, in a way it felt good. To take care of someone. I wished Manny decided to keep her baby. I liked the idea of Manny and me, sitting by a roaring fireplace. It seemed very... peaceful. Manny stirred and looked up.

"Craig, why didn't you wake me up?" she said sleepily.

I didn't know how to answer, so I stayed silent. She mussed her hair and reapplied her lip gloss. She looked at me, and her eyes looked sad.

"Thanks Craig." She sighed.

She started to open the car door, and for some reason I held my hand out and stopped her. She turned around, confused. I put my hands in her hair and leaned her towards me. Our breath mingled for a second, then I kissed her gently, then more passionately as we both responded hungrily for more.

"Craig. We have to stop. I don't understand this. Let's just talk tomorrow." She left quickly and ran into her house.

I didn't want to talk. I wanted to feel. I just didn't want to be alone anymore.

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