A/N: Man it's been AGES! Hope you haven't all forgotten about this fic. I had three essays due in the week just passed, so I was a bit busy. Then it took me a while to write this – I'm bilingual and have spent most of the last week not speaking English (I speak French as my preferred language),so it was a bit of a shock to return to good ole shakespeare's language! There are a couple of weird sentences still I think, but I tried to make everything normal. J'espere...
Thanks for all the reviews, they are much appreciated. Hopefully you'll all review after this chap too – you know I love it! Just one clarifying note: Questionablelight: never fear - there is no WAY I would have Crocodile Hunter or someone like that as an expert! Those kinds of stereotypes need to be fought against, dammit!
Here 'tis…
Chapter V – Status quo
Sam pressed her thumb onto the button in the lift with such force she was surprised it didn't give way. In her mind, she saw the wall crumbling away, taking her hand and cutting it off at the wrist. She would have welcomed the pain as a distraction from the total embarrassment she felt. As the lift lurched into action she snapped out of it, realising she still hadn't retracted her hand. Disconcerted by the eerie silence and artificial lighting of the small space, she tried in vain to keep control of herself as her mind refused to slow down. The trip down into the sublevels of Cheyenne Mountain seemed interminable, and every blip indicating she'd passed another floor seemed to indicate a countdown to impending doom.
She had kissed him. The Colonel, her CO… her Jack. Pacing around the small square of space, Sam clenched her fists in her short hair. What on earth could have possessed her-? How was she going to rectify-? How was she going to explain-? There were so many questions, none of them with pleasant answers.
It was at this moment that the lift came to an abrupt halt and the doors open. Unfortunately, in her pacing, Sam was just approaching the doors and had reached her hand out to slap her palm against the surface when it retracted, leaving Jonas' face defenceless against her anger.
"Ow! Sam?" Jonas had cupped his hands over his nose, which, though not broken, was definitely bleeding. The tone of his voice had been indignant, but seeing her race down the hallway as if her very existence depended on it, he started after her. "Sam!" He called out, this time definitely concerned. "SAM!"
She was ignoring him, and moved even more quickly towards the entrance to her lab, where she wrenched the door open and disappeared inside. The closing door shook with force and seemed to make every thing in the corridor rattle as well. Jonas stopped on the spot and looked at the blank surface in confusion.
Now inside her lab, Sam stopped still for a moment and looked around at what others might think was a chaotic collection of alien technologies, but was actually perfectly ordered. Her eyes moved around the room from contraption to contraption as she searched for something to focus on – anything. She sat down in front of her computer on the table and turned it on, still unsure as to what she was doing. Maybe she would review her latest mission reports – anything to avoid thinking of the fact that her career was likely over.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw a small box, perched precariously on the edge of the table. Her mind was instantly propelled back to a couple of days beforehand: Jack standing on the other side of the table, holding the piece of alien technology between his fingers, testing the surfaces, as if he was going to make some discovery that all the scientists in the SGC couldn't make. He'd tossed it from one hand to the other and, as usual, she'd admonished him for playing with her "doohickeys" as he called them. It really didn't matter, whatever the box was… no-one had been able to figure the least thing out about it and it seemed pretty hardy. He could have dropped it and probably nothing would have happened. Their exchange had been playful, easy, like a well-rehearsed game they repeated so often. Angrily Sam pushed her hand out, knocking the gadget onto the floor. It made a strange clanging noise as it bounced across and hit the filing cabinet. Sam looked over dejectedly only to see the box disappear in a flash of white light.
Stunned, to say the least, she sat back in her chair and blinked her eyes repeatedly. Before she could even react, the box reappeared on the table in front of her, exactly where it had been before. Sam stood up and looked all around the room, as if the answer would just present itself to her. Funnily enough, it did.
"Hi Sam." Daniel was leaning easily against the wall behind where Sam had been sitting. "You know, you really have no idea what that thing is – it could've exploded or something."
Sam was lost for words, she was torn between her anger at herself, her relief at seeing Daniel – apparently alive – but most of all her anger at Daniel for disappearing from her life, from leaving them all behind to grieve for him, with no closure as to where he was. Distractedly she steadied herself against the table to stop from falling, mouth still wide open. She had to be hallucinating.
"You're not." Daniel hadn't moved from his position. He was waiting patiently for Sam to grasp what was happening. "I'm really here – well kinda." He added a hopeful smile.
"O- Ok." Sam managed to get out, all the while thinking that not only was her career over, but she was going to be institutionalised.
"Really, Sam." Daniel moved a bit closer to her, holding her frightened gaze. "Ascended beings can appear in corporeal form."
Sam looked at Daniel with mixed feelings: wanting to collapse into a puddle of tears, and wishing at the same time she could hit him repeatedly for giving up and ascending in the first place. Finally she let herself slide down to the floor, her back resting against the table, and cradled her head in her hands.
"Ok, so you're here." She mumbled tiredly through her fingers. "Why are you here?"
Daniel sat down against the wall opposite her and waited for her to lift her head and look at him again. He knew he had to be patient, that with someone as strong willed as Sam it would take something special to convince her that she hadn't just ruined her life.
"I was actually in the area," he tried to keep his tone light, aware at the same time that it could be ingratiating to Sam's ears. He rectified his comment. "I was here to help Jack, Sam." His face registered a certain seriousness again. "I was talking to him when you arrived at his house. You showed a lot of courage doing that, I know how conflicted you must feel."
Sam let a bitter laugh escape from her mouth, her eyes rolling back into her head as she leaned further into the cool surface behind her. "Conflicted doesn't even begin to describe it…" She snapped her head back down to look directly at Daniel. "I've just ruined my career. Did you know that? He who can see everything?" The harshness of her voice cut into the stillness of the room.
"Oh right, the kiss." Daniel nodded, "I wasn't spying – I promise." He raised his hand up in defence as Sam bristled with indignation. "But I do think you're over-reacting."
"God, you never understood the military at all, did you?" Sam's eyes were wide with amazement at what this so-called wise, higher being was spinning. "I could go to JAIL for that – not to mention the fact that I could never look Colonel O'Neill in the eye again!"
Daniel fought to keep a smile from curling the corners of his mouth upwards as he looked at the woman sitting across from him. Such a fantastic mind, such a gifted soldier – and yet she was so completely dense when it came to some things.
"First things first, Sam." Daniel said calmly, hoping she would listen to him. "People do not get sent to jail for having a 10 second kiss." He waved his finger at her disapprovingly as he saw her ready to object. "If it came to anything – and I stress, IF – then you'd be reassigned to some other team. No biggie." Daniel let that sink in for a moment. "But anyways, it's not like you and Jack are going to tell anyone about the kiss, is it?"
"He might." Sam pouted quietly, causing Daniel to snort with laughter.
"Oh yeah, sure Sam." he was smiling, thinking of the scene that would take place. "He'd voluntarily get one of his best friends and most trusted colleagues transferred away from him."
"Well he should!" Sam retorted haughtily. "Besides, I don't want to be anywhere near him for a while, knowing that I pretty much jumped him…"
This comment made Daniel chuckle again, much to Sam's annoyance. "It's not like you jumped him Sam… it was more like you ran away from him. I don't think I've seen a departure that quick since I was playing kiss-chasey at primary school!"
"Goddammit Daniel," Sam screeched all of a sudden, "This is NOT a joke! I've screwed up! Apart from anything else I've let my inappropriate feelings towards a superior officer take over – I should be transferred, I should lose my job!"
"Wow, good thing I disabled the cameras…" Daniel murmured to himself as he regarded Sam warily. He suddenly regretted the tack he had taken in talking to her. She was way too wound up for him to be making fun of her – as much as he had missed their comfortable jibing of the past. He let her calm down and slowly inched forward before settling against the table, sitting just next to her.
"Sam?" he asked permission to speak again quietly. She turned her head slightly towards him, which he took as a sign of encouragement. "You wanna know why I'm really here?" She turned her head fully to look him in the eyes now. Daniel took a deep breath. "You've done nothing wrong – nothing." He emphasised the word softly but firmly. "You've been a wonderful source of strength for Jack; if it weren't for you, I don't think he'd be as ok as he is with everything that happened. He needs you Sam, and you know that you need him."
"But-" Sam tried to interject but Daniel stopped her.
"Just listen, ok?" Daniel started speaking faster, turning his head frequently to the locked door behind them. "You both have feelings for each other – they've been there for a good couple of years now. One kiss isn't going to change that. For better or worse, you two are meant to be together, but you have to be apart." He put his hand up to stop Sam from objecting. Her eyes were now wide with disbelief. "Believe me, Sam… I know Jack feels the same way."
Daniel had just stopped speaking and had indicated with a nod of the head that he was done when there was a loud kafuffle in the corridor.
"Not NOW Jonas!" Daniel could hear Jack's angry voice, sounding hoarse and worried, as the man apparently came tearing down the hall. The next moment, there was a large bang against Sam's locked door and a cry of pain before they could both hear a distinct thud as Jack apparently bounced off the door and onto the ground.
"Sam." Daniel drew her attention back to him. "Nothing has changed, got it?" He waited until he saw her nod numbly, still not entirely convinced, before he disappeared from the room.
Jack blinked rapidly as he tried to stave off the tears that were invading his eyes. Ow! He reached his hand up to his forehead and rubbed it unconsciously. Groggily looking around him he wondered how the hell he had ended up on the floor outside Sam's lab. Even more strangely, it sounded like there was a man in the lab. That couldn't be right… With considerable effort, he hoisted himself to his feet and this time, carefully, tried to open the door – only to find that the door was locked and it wouldn't budge.
"Huh, that would explain the headache, then." He murmured to no-one in particular.
As soon as he had uttered those words, the door opened from the inside. He stepped through the doorway just as a worryingly-pale Sam returned to the other side of the table in the middle of the lab and gingerly perched on the chair behind her computer.
"Jeez Carter, since when do you lock your door?" Jack was still concentrating on the dull pain of his head, and hadn't quite remembered why he was there yet.
Sam seemed all of a sudden to find some force she had been lacking and stood from her chair, stiffly keeping her arms to the side, almost at attention.
"I apologise Colonel," her voice was rigid, guarded.
"Nah, s'ok." Jack shook his head slightly as if the pain would just go away with the action. "Shoulda knocked. Who were you talking to?" Jack suddenly realised that there appeared to be no-one in the room, even though he was sure he'd heard a male voice.
"No-one." Her response was so swift Jack was sure she was hiding something, but he let it go. Sam was fixed on the spot, her body almost quivering with the tension of seeing Jack standing in front of her. Taking a couple of deep breaths, she steeled herself and spoke. "Sir, I understand my actions were completely inappropriate beforehand and I am truly sorry. Of course, if you wish to report my-"
"Carter stop." Jack had known she would go into 'protocol-mode' the minute he'd got there, but he still didn't quite know how he was going to get her out of it. "Are you nuts?" The look of incredulity on his face would have made Sam laugh in any other situation. "There's no way I would risk losing one of my best…"
"But Colonel, sir," Sam began, "You can't deny-"
"A-ah, Carter," his voice had a hint of warning within it, although she could still sense a certain warmth. "Look-" He paused, suddenly completely unsure. He'd rushed to the SGC so quickly and flew down the corridor – into her door – with such force that he realised with a start he hadn't thought about what he'd actually say when he got there. "You see Carter-" he tried again, only to find himself woefully lacking for the words to say. Only the sight of Sam opening her mouth to speak prompted him to finally get his act together and complete a sentence.
"Ok Carter it's like this." Jack stuck his hand in his pockets and looked intently at his feet, the following words coming out of his mouth in a gruff flurry. "What happened was no-one's fault. We… I… I woulda done the same thing if the situations were reversed." He stopped short, not daring look up to see her face, although he was certain she was still standing stiffly, fixed to the spot. "Ummm…" Jack found his eyes drawn to the table and the strange box-like doohickey Sam and the other geeks had been trying to decipher and picked it up, casually passing it between his hands. "I uh… it's good that you came by tonight Sam." He looked up cautiously at Sam. She was looking straight at him, but seemed miles away; he could almost see the thought processes flitting by behind her eyes. "I uh… I'm glad you came."
Sam's eyes had clouded over so that even though she knew she was looking at Jack, she wasn't really seeing anything in front of her. She was thinking. Fast. "I woulda done the same thing" The words kept repeating in her mind as she tried to make sense of it all. Was Daniel right? Could two people really be meant for each other? Did the kiss really change nothing? Did he really feel the same way about her as she did about him? Were they just supposed to continue as if nothing had happened! Considering it, she realised that they'd essentially been doing that for a long time; ignoring the reality of their relationship.
"Ok."
She said the simple word so softly Jack almost missed it, he had begun another stilted sentence he didn't know how to end but stopped short as she spoke.
"Um… we're ok?" Jack had never pretended to know exactly what was going on in her head, but sometimes he needed some prompting even to get the general gist of it.
"Sir, I really don't know." Sam looked at him, her expression calm and neutral. "I honestly don't know – what I do know is that Ba'al is going to be on his way here very soon and that we need to come up with a plan."
"So we just move on…" Jack had winced at the mention of Ba'al's name but realised she was right. If ever there was a soldier, it was Sam Carter, he thought to himself.
"Yes sir." The formality in her actions and voice said differently, but for the moment Sam was trying her hardest to ignore the sense of embarrassment she felt just looking at her CO.
"You're ok with that? I don't want you to think-"
"It's ok sir, really. I've had some time to think and Da…" Sam's voice trailed away. She didn't want to get into anything she'd been thinking about – let alone mention what could well have been a hallucination of Daniel.
"And what?" Jack's ears pricked up. He sensed she really had been on the point of saying something important, but had pulled herself back. He found himself thinking back to the voice he had heard before in the lab.
"Nothing, I've just had time to think" Sam said defensively, belatedly she added "Sir", hopefully warning him to let alone.
"I did hear a voice before didn't I?" Jack challenged, stepping closer to Sam. "Daniel?"
Sam gasped at hearing his name spoken. "How did you-!" She couldn't even complete the sentence, and instead gaped at Jack in disbelief.
Jack put the doohickey he'd been holding down on the table in front of him and brushed a hand through his hair. "Because I've seen him too."
"How?"
"I dunno…"
"But why?"
"Carter, I really don't know why he keeps involving his ascended ass with such primitive matters as our lives, but he is." Jack seemed to have returned to his normal, gruff comments. But softened when he saw the bewildered expression on Sam's face. "Let's just get some sleep before this mission tomorrow, k?"
Sam recognised that he didn't want to talk about Daniel, for whatever reason. She decided to let it alone. "Sir, it's only 9pm." She pointed out matter-of-factly. "I think I'm going to go through some of the information on Australian mythology I had delivered earlier and read over it."
"Ah Carter, I'm not going to have to order you to sleep am I?" The playful tone had returned to Jack's voice as his eyes twinkled mischievously. "I don't care how early it is – we've got a hell of a day tomorrow when we get to Australia."
"Sir, it's going to take us twenty hours just to get to Australia… by the time we get there it will be the day after tomorrow." She was rolling her eyes at the ridiculousness of thinking they'd be in Australia so quickly. "Besides, given the time difference, it could even be the day after that."
Jack was stunned. Of course he should have known that it wouldn't be a quick trip across the pacific, but it still seemed ridiculous the country should be so far. "Damn. When oh when will the Asgard share enough with us that we can just beam places?" He said, shaking his head slightly, motioning nonetheless for Sam to exit the lab. "All the same Carter, no more lab-work for you tonight. You work too hard as it is and I don't want to discover you've pulled an all-nighter when I see you at the briefing tomorrow." He paused, looking at the pile of papers Sam had been motioning at. "Just read over that stuff in your quarters or something."
Sam picked up the heavy file sitting on the edge of her desk and sighed with exasperation. "Yes sir." With that, she followed him out the door.
They walked down the halls in a somewhat comfortable silence Sam wouldn't have thought possible just twenty minutes beforehand. Jack seemed to be deep in thought, and nearly ran headlong into a marine who was walking the other way.
"Sir?" Sam asked cautiously.
"Huh? Oh right, sorry." He nodded quickly at the startled marine before skirting around him and continuing down the corridor. He turned briefly to Sam, apparently preparing a careful query. "We're going to get in-flight movies, right?"
Sam couldn't stop the giggle from escaping her lips as she looked back at Jack, smiling fully.
"I mean, twenty hours!" he exclaimed dramatically, gesticulating wildly with his arms. "I don't know about you, but I can't pass that much time without watching some B-grade disaster movie."
"Somehow I don't think we're going to be exactly flying Qantas, sir." Sam said playfully as they entered the lift at the end of the hallway.
"Yeah I guess," Jack breathed out deeply. "For starters we'd have to get some counterfeit documentation for Teal'c and Jonas – and then there'd be the problem of transporting the staff weapon and zats… what would we declare them as?"
Sam suddenly stopped where she was, a look of horror on her face. "Oh God, Jonas!" She gasped, placing her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide.
"What about him?" Jack asked, suddenly concerned.
Sam's face adopted a guilty expression as she looked sideways at Jack. "I um… I was in a bit of a rush to get to my lab when I arrived here sir," she began carefully, "and I kinda accidentally essentially punched him in the face."
Jack's eyebrows lifted above his eyes in amusement. "Really?" he mused. "That would explain why he was standing in the corridor outside your lab like a stunned mullet when I got there."
The lift abruptly stopped moving and Jack started to move towards the door. Sam didn't move, still horrified by her earlier actions. "Oh god what am I going to tell him! I've got to apologise…"
"Carter," Jack said firmly. "I think maybe it would be best left to tomorrow – I wasn't exactly polite to him either… we need some time to think of an explanation, right?"
"Yeah I guess," Sam sighed resignedly as she exited the lift and walked towards her quarters, Jack still at her side. They both stopped outside Sam's quarters, Jack shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot, apparently weighing something up in his mind.
"Night sir," Sam turned to him as she opened the door.
"G'night Carter." Jack said, still unmoving from the spot. "Oh and Carter?" he added quickly.
"Sir?"
Jack put his hands back in his pockets and looked down to the floor again. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For everything… for being there… y'know – just thanks." Jack let the words slip out of his mouth quickly and made a hasty retreat down the hall towards his own quarters.
Sam entered her quarters, whispering quietly to herself as she closed the door. "Always."
A/N: Ok. So NEXT TIME there will actually be some action – I promise they'll get to Australia and there's a nasty surprise or two coming up! I just needed Sam and Jack to sort this out (well, not really – they've got to do that later – but at least get themselves into a position where they can carry on like they usually do).
Please review! Any lingering issues from these conversations I need to clear up? Ready to move on? Feedback is my life-force!