International Relations…

"There's something quite different about Australian beer," J.D declared as he brought what was his fifth stubbie to his lips. "I just can't pinpoint what it is."

"About ten times the alcohol content," Dr Anderson mused as he wandered past.

"That'd be it," J.D laughed and fell from the barstool he'd been lolling about on to the sticky pub floor.

"Bloody Yanks," Dr Anderson sighed. "No stamina what so ever."

"No dude, that's just J.D," Turk countered. "He gets tipsy after one apple-tini."

"Oh mate," Dr Anderson sighed, shaking his head as he leaned on the bar. "The usual." Turk, Carla and Elliot watched as a bottle of tequila and a shot glass was put in front of Dr Anderson. He filled the shot glass and downed it without flinching. He went to pour another, shrugged and took to drinking from the bottle. "One day I'll go to Mexico and thank the man that made you possible," he smiled and kissed the bottle.

"He has got some serious problems," Carla mumbled shaking her head.

"Why on earth is Cheryl on the floor?" Dr Cox groused, walking in and stepping over J.D on the floor. "On seconds thoughts, don't answer that, I really don't care."

"Hey Coxsy," Dr Anderson jeered, now a quatre of the way through his bottle of tequila. "Want to share some of Mexico's finest?"

"Gee I'd love to evil elf but somehow I think you're gonna need all of it to finish your embalming," Dr Cox jeered, sliding onto a barstool and ordering a scotch.

"Such a hard man and such a girlie drink," Dr Anderson mused, brining the bottle of tequila to his lips.

"Scotch is girlie?" Dr Cox said blankly and realising he was letting himself get riled. "And drinking tequila from the bottle makes you a more sophisticated human being huh?"

"I don't know about sophisticated but it goes to show us Aussies can drink you Yanks under the table anytime," Dr Anderson grinned and looked at Dr Cox sideways.

"I think that's a bit of a overgeneralisation there Anderson," Dr Cox mused and looked at J.D who was still trying to get off the floor. "I mean anyone could drink more than Fiona there but we're not all like her."

"So prove me wrong," Dr Anderson chided, raising an eyebrow.

"You want me to having a drinking competition with you?"

"Well unless you haven't got the balls."

Dr Cox narrowed his eyes. "Oh it's so on."

"Another shottie over here mate," Dr Anderson smiled as he motioned to the barman.

****************

"Gee you lot look miserable," Gina announced as she strolled into the pub and noticed Turk, Carla and Elliot sitting together at a table. Her attention was quickly adverted to a large group of people gathered around the bar. "What's going on over there."

"Dr Cox and Dr Anderson are having a drinking competition," Turk sighed. "We figured we should stay around in case they need medical attention."

"Apparently they're onto their second bottle of tequila," Carla breathed, looking unimpressed.

"Idiots," Gina sighed shaking her head. "Where's J.D?"

"He went to the bathroom," Turk shrugged and paused to think for a moment.

"Didn't he go like twenty minutes ago?" Elliot piped up, looking at her watch.

"I'll be right back," Turk declared, getting to his feet and heading toward the mens. He returned few moments later with J.D fast asleep in his arms. "He was curled up in a cubicle."

"Poor Bambi," Carla mused. "We should get him to bed."

"What about Dr Cox," Elliot asked. "I thought we were going to make sure he got home too."

"You guys go," Gina offered. "I'll stay here and make sure the children get home."

"Thanks," Carla perked. "We owe you one."

****************

Turk, Carla and Elliot left with the sleeping J.D while Gina wandered over to where Dr Cox and Dr Anderson were racing each other to the end of a line of tequila shots.

"YES!" Dr Anderson cheered. "I win again, in your face Coxsy!"

"Best of five," Dr Cox declared, wobbling slightly on his barstool. "Line 'em up again."

"You two should be ashamed of yourselves," Gina declared, pushing to the front of the group of onlookers.

"Hey Genie," Dr Anderson grinned. "Coxsy and I are testing international relations."

"Perry?" Gina asked, looking at Dr Cox who took several seconds to register that he was being spoken to.

"I just wanna beat the little bastard," he replied, getting ready to down more shots.

"You're supposed to be doctors guys," Gina groused. "You're supposed to encourage sensible drinking."

"And you're supposed to be married with children by now leaving work to the men of this world but yet you still insist on being employed," Dr Anderson huffed, shakily getting to his feet.

"And that little chauvinists dream of yours might've come true if you hadn't divorced me for that alternative medicine wench that you met at a seminar in Brisbane," Gina spat and Dr Anderson tried his hardest to look angry.

"Hey, she left me for her yoga teacher," he pouted. "Anyway, what the hell are you doing here anyway? You're a teetotaller."

"A yoga teacher," Dr Cox piped up, amused, drinking the shots in front of him while he waited.

"Oh shut up," Gina scowled, looking at Dr Cox and then turned her attention back to Dr Anderson. "I'm here because it's part of my job to make sure our visitors are having a good time."

"Oh baby, I'm having the best time," Dr Cox perked grinning inanely. "Especially from this angle," he added, making no attempt to hide the fact he was running his eyes over her body.

"See, he's having fun," Dr Anderson shrugged, starting on his own shots. "So you go on home, have a nice cuppa and don't fret that pretty little head of yours."

"Are you wearing a thong," Dr Cox piped up and Gina looked over her shoulder to glare at him. "I was just curious is all."

"This ends now," Gina frowned. "Ross, go home and sober up and Perry…"

"Yes sweet cheeks," Dr Cox mused, trying not to laugh.

"You come with me," she sighed, grabbing his arm and encouraging him to get to his feet.

"Well if you're insisting," Dr Cox beamed as he got unsteadily to his feet and staggered out of the pub.

"Another round here," Dr Anderson piped up, grinning at the barman and motioning to his empty shot glasses.

****************

"Well I tucked him in so he shouldn't roll outta bed," Turk declared, sauntering out of the bedroom to where Carla and Elliot were waiting along with Todd who was sprawled on his couch bed in his underwear.

"So what do we do now?" Elliot asked and then quickly looked at Todd. "And 'you' isn't an answer ok?"

"Wow Elliot you're really getting to know me," Todd perked, sitting up.

"Yay for me," Elliot mumbled and looked back at Turk and Carla. "I really don't want to go back to our rooms. I don't think I could cope with another night of squeaking, scratching and the prospect of having one of those disgusting rodents nestle beneath the sheets with me."

"You could stay here if we had more room," Turk shrugged. "And don't say a word Todd."

"What about Dr Cox's bed?" Carla suggested, wrapping her arms around Turk.

"What are you? Insane?" Turk gasped. "He'd kill us."

"No he won't," Carla mused. "He'll be way too drunk and will probably end up sleeping on the bathroom floor."

Turk pondered a moment but the prospect of sex was overriding his fear of being murdered by Dr Cox. "Elliot, feel free to push J.D aside and share with him or make a bed on the floor. We'll see you in the morning," he added and dragged a surprised Carla into the room formally occupied by Dr Cox.

"Great," Elliot breathed.

"You can share the couch with me if you want," Todd suggested smiling. Elliot screwed up her face at the prospect and scuttled off into J.D's room.

****************

Gina drove back to her own apartment after deciding it was (a) closer and (b) there were less stairs for the currently sleeping Dr Cox to try and ascend. She parked the car in the parking lot and unclipped her seatbelt before reaching over and slapping his arm.

"Just get a nurse to do it," Dr Cox mumbled as he tried to open his eyes.

"Do what?" Gina asked as she watched as he looked at her stunned for a few moments.

"I really have no idea," he breathed, rubbing his eyes. "Where am I?"

"My place," Gina replied. "Now, you can still walk can't you?"

"Of course I can," Dr Cox huffed, regaining some of his bravado and clumsily opening the door. He stepped triumphantly out of the car, went to walk and nearly toppled over. He grabbed the open car door again to steady himself.

"That was convincing," Gina sighed, getting out of the car herself.

It took a little longer than normal but eventually Gina got Dr Cox into her apartment, ushered him into the spare room and watched him fall onto the mattress and pass out within about three seconds.

"Men are just so stupid," she breathed, shaking her head.

****************

J.D woke the next morning with a throbbing head and a queasy stomach. He was surprised the bed felt so roomy, seeing as how it had been so cramped the previous day. It took several moments but he managed to open his eyes against the harsh morning light. "Oh my god," he breathed when he saw Elliot. He tried to leap out of bed but got the covers wrapped around his ankles and fell onto the floor. "Ow."

"Morning J.D," Elliot yawned looking down at him. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm not sure," J.D said carefully. "I can't remember much about last night, did we?"

"No, god no," Elliot laughed. "Carla and I just stayed here instead of going back to the nurses quatres last night."

"Oh," J.D yawned, rubbing his temples. "Wait, where'd Turk and Carla…oh tell me they didn't?"

"Well," Elliot swallowed. "It doesn't matter anyway because Dr Cox didn't even come back last night."

"He didn't?" J.D sighed, gingerly peeling himself from the tatted carpet.

"He and Dr Anderson got into some stupid drinking competition and Gina was going to see that he got home."

"Oh," J.D nodded. "What happened to me?"

"Turk found you passed out in a cubicle," Elliot mused and J.D groaned and fell back onto the floor.

****************

Dr Cox woke up to find himself fully dressed in a strange bed with a cat passed out on his chest. He tried to get some idea of where he was but his head hurt way too much and he ended up lying there trying to ignore the fact the cat was licking his cheek.

"Wakey, wakey," Gina perked, strolling into the room with a glass of water and a packet of aspirin.

"Where the hell am I?" Dr Cox groaned, still not opening his eyes.

"My place," Gina replied. "I imagine you're too hungover to remember why you're actually hungover."

"What did I do?

"You got into a juvenile drinking game with Ross."

"Did I do anything stupid?"

"Oh yes, plenty." Gina sneered and Dr Cox let out a small whine. "Anyway, get a move on you've got twenty minutes to get to work," she added and left him alone again.

"This is your fault," he snarled, glaring at the cat who responded by pawing his nose. "Oh you're so gonna pay when I remember how to use my limbs again."