What Was it That You Never Said?

Chapter 4: She's in my Head.

Inuyasha pushed the other club goers out of his way to get out the door. Street lights made the night eerie and dull. The cool air blew across his face, as he looked both ways for Kagome. Seeing her being swallowed by the crowded walk, he moves quickly to catch up with her. He wasn't going to let her get away from him this easily. Not this time.

"KAGOME!" He yelled, knocking someone down. She turned around to face him. The look on her face made him stop dead still. Her face was haunted, the many confusing emotions playing in her teary eyes. The would seemed to pass them by, people and traffic turning in to shapeless blurs in the back ground of their staring contest. Taking a deep breath he walked to her carefully, afraid she might run if he moved to fast. His heart was pounding painfully in his chest. Not knowing what to do he reached out his hand to her cheek. Her skin was cold but her soft. He started to lean down over her. "Kagome..."

She pulled her leather jacket closer around herself as his hand came into contact with her soft cheek. A tear escaped from her eye as she closed them. She could feel Inuyasha's thumb wipe the small drop away. She inhaled deeply, trying to control the tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. Opening her eyes the dull street lamps made the unshed tears in her eyes shin, her face a mask of pain. She turned away from him. She wouldn't let him do this to her. This was wrong he was with someone else. But her heart wouldn't listen to her mind. It kept on shredding as she strengthened her resolve.

"Go back to your girlfriend, Inuyasha." Kagome glared at him from over her shoulder, her voice was ice cold. "I just can't be your friend after everything that happened..." She straightened her spin to walk away dignified, and continued up to the corner. Hailing a cab, she was soon gone.

He couldn't move, just continued to stare at the spot she had just been standing in, he felt that pain in his chest again. With his head hanging, he re-entered the club. He blindly sat at the bar slumped in his seat. The large bartender glared down on him, "So what are you having?"

"Something strong." Inuyasha growled, watching the barkeep pour his vodka shot with no enthusiasm. He quickly downed the shot, slamming the glass down on the bar.

"Another." He growled welcoming the burning inside his stomach.

Five Shots Later

Miroku spotted Inuyasha at the bar, downing shot after shot. So his plan wasn't working out exactly as he had planned. He put his hand on then small of Sango's back, to lead her to their slightly inebriated friend. Inuyasha glared at his friend as he approached.

"This is you fault. I wouldn't have seen her here if you hadn't called me. And stand still would you, the four of you are making my head hurt." His words where slurred and he was having trouble concentrating on one Miroku, cause the other one was distracting him.

"I think you have had enough. Maybe you should let me take you home so you can sleep it off." Miroku put his hand on his friends shoulder to steady him as he stood. It took both Sango and Miroku to get him out and into the car. After throwing their drunk friend in the back of Miroku's black Toyota, they both climbed into the car. Inuyasha lie, slumped in the back seat, him mind in over drive. Everything from grade school to now. His mind went back over all the times he spent with Kagome, and how right it felt. He vowed to find a way to fix this as he closed his eyes against the bright lights passing them on the highway. Feeling the car slow to a stop, he opened his eyes.

A forlorn expression settled over him as he saw his apartment building in front of them. "Thanks for the ride." He growled sloppily getting out of the vehicle. Miroku just waved as he pulled away from the curb, leaving him alone again. He looked up and saw that the light was still on in his apartment. Sighing heavily he unlocked the main door to the building and climbed the stairs to the 3rd floor to his home. A large apartment, mostly decorated in reds and oriental themes. Inuyasha kept the lighting low, due to his sensitive eyes, always seemed to have a ethereal feeling to it.

Kikyou on the black futon that served as the couch in their living room. Her face never changed from its calm expression as she watched him stumble in. He slammed to door shut and wobbled for a moment before sinking down next to her on the sofa. Kikyou studied him silently, his shirt was half untucked and his hair mussed. But he was still quite attractive. His eyes where closed and the soft glow of the small lamp next to the futon gave his face an unearthly glow. Popping an eye open he glared at Kikyou.

"Are you going to say anything?" He asked crossing his arms over his chest.

"I know you went out tonight, and I can tell you have been drinking. That is fine...But, you have crossed the line..." Her voice never changed as she spoke, but he could see the rage behind her eyes. Turning toward her, he opened both eyes and raised an eyebrow. He knew she would have something to say. She always had something to say that got under his skin. The more he was around her, the more he wondered what he loved about her so long ago.

"You saw her tonight. That other girl. The one you would break your vow for. I will not tolerate it."

"You can't tell me how to see and not to see." He glowered at her, almost praying for her to make a face at him.

"Just leave her alone. She can't have you. You are only making her hurt worse, because you are selfish." A toneless echo of a voice. It made Inuyasha want to scream. Everything about her made him want to scream.

"Fuck you." He let his voice go flat as he growled at her. His mind feeling numb, he welcomed the blankness for once.. Ever since he left Kagome, he has felt nothing but this bleakness that he felt was taking over his life. Bland, colorless, nothingness. His light was gone.

Kikyou stood and slapped him full across his face. Her eyes flashing as she glared at him. Standing and grabbing her shoulders, he growled down at her. She never flinched, her face never made any other movement. Inuyasha always hated that about her. She never showed anything at all, she was like a zombie.

"Don't ever raise a hand at me agian, bitch." His voice was low and deadly. "I am only hear because of a stupid promise I made. I will honor it yes, but I never said I had to love you." Turning on his heel he stalked right back out of the apartment and back out into the night.

Kikyou stood there looking after him. A tear rolling down her cheek as he slammed the door.

--

Inuyasha had to find a way to get Kagome out of his head. She was like a drug to him, once she was in his system he would do anything to keep her there. Walking the lonely streets, he thought a lot about the way things where rapidly falling apart. The wind whipped his hair about him as he aimlessly walked. Shaking his head, he looked around. The shrine house was just up ahead. A smirk curling on his lips, he jogged up the stairs to the house. He was still inebriated enough to think climbing the tree up to her third story bedroom was a good idea. And, that was exactly what he was going to do. He reached the old tree that would lead him to the window. Climbing it easily, he sat on the branch outside of the glass portal. Kagome was lying on her bed, looking out the skylight above her. The moonlight made her face otherworldly and mysterious. She was shaking, probably crying he guessed. Her sobs reaching his ears he almost gave in to his heart and went to her, but he knew that it would only make it worse. He hung his head, trying to think of a way to fix this. Then he heard her, her voice softly coming to his ears.

"Time to let this pass. I don't want to feel this way forever."

Those simple sentences sounding like some strange prayer, a plea to some forgotten god to heal her. Those tiny little sentences made him realize how much he wanted to kiss those tears away. He knew that she had loved him, but never did it realize that the intensive emotion he felt for her, could be reflected by her. But, it was too late to fix this. All he could do is watch her from a distant. He had to keep his word. It was all he was worth. He leaned against the window frame. He would just keep watch on her till she was asleep, then he would leave.

Soon she had cried herself out and was deeply asleep. Inuyasha jumped out of the old tree and glanced once more at the window. That pressure increased in his chest painfully again. He knew now why.

"I don't want to feel this way forever."

--

A/N: Its not as long as I wanted it to be, but here it is. I will post the next chapther probably tomorrow or the next day.

Reddeuphoria