Ramifications…
It's a weird feeling when the opinion you've created about someone turns out to be completely wrong. I had been convinced Dr Anderson was the type of guy who'd gotten through medical school because his father was on the board, that he spent more time sleeping than treating his patients and had a liver made of iron.
"Another round here!" Dr Anderson called to the bartender who promptly poured two more tequila shots.
Ok, so I wasn't wrong about the iron liver…
"So, how long before we go home and get some sleep?" J.D asked gingerly as he rolled the shot glass around with his fingers.
"I never sleep," Dr Anderson replied before drinking his shot. "Except for the odd short burst in the On-Call room."
"Well balanced with your copious drinking that's got to be healthy," J.D breathed before finally taking his shot and wincing. "Yucky."
"You've no idea."
"About what? Being a doctor?"
"No, bilbies."
"Bilbies?"
Dr Anderson raised an eyebrow at J.D. "Do you actually think I can just switch off everything that happened last night and sleep peacefully? I can't mate; it runs through my head like a bad movie of the week. The distraught parents, screaming kids and the wishing I could do more."
"You did all you could," J.D soothed.
Dr Anderson laughed coldly. "You're just full of automatic doctorly responses aren't ya?"
"I'm sorry."
"And there's another one."
"Have you ever considered counselling?" J.D piped up in an attempt to change the subject. "I mean to help you cope with stuff."
"I used to have a wife to talk to," Dr Anderson pouted and motioned to the bartender. "Two more."
"Yeah," J.D breathed now desperate to change the subject. "So, what's a bilby?"
Dr Anderson looked at J.D and rolled his eyes. "It's a marsupial."
J.D pondered a moment before speaking again. "What's a…"
"It has a pouch."
"Like a…"
"Kangaroo, yes."
"What about a platypus?"
"It's a monotreme."
"Oh, what's…"
"It's got a pouch and lays eggs."
"Cool!" Dr Anderson raised an eyebrow at J.D. "Wish I had a pouch, I'd store cookies in it."
"Yeah, going home might be a good idea now," Dr Anderson said, looking at J.D like he was mental.
"I can't believe you convinced someone their mother died of a sore throat," Dr Cox half gasped, half laughed as he reached for his steaming mug of coffee.
"Eh, throw a few medical terms around, sound apologetic and people will believe anything," Gina shrugged. "And besides, a sore throat was actually attributed to how she died."
"Really?"
"It was a nasty scalpel incident."
"How do you live with yourself?"
"I generally don't," Gina frowned. "Haven't really slept since I got the job."
"So why do it?" Dr Cox breathed, unable to comprehend Gina's ability to tolerate working under Dr Alan Bruce. "Why be Bruce's lackey?"
"It pays the rent."
"So does prostitution and it'd be less likely to see you end up burning in hell for eternity."
"You think whoring myself is a better option than working in a hospital?"
"I'd pay for your services," Dr Cox declared, realised what he said and quickly backtracked. "If you were indeed working in that industry and I was a lonely, perverted old man who'd broken his fun hand."
"That's, ah, heart warming," Gina blustered as she toyed with her fork. "Thanks Perry."
"I try," he shrugged and they fell silent. Dr Cox tried to feign interest in his scrambled eggs but gave up. "So what is it with you and Ross huh?"
"Oh you know how it goes," Gina sighed. "You meet someone, fall madly in love and they leave you for a naturopath."
"I hate naturopaths," Dr Cox scorned. "If I want to ingest a bunch of sticks and grass I'll eat an herbivore."
Gina gave a small laugh and looked coyly into the distance. "It's hard though, I mean we still work in the same place. It's impossible not to still have feelings."
"Oh please," Dr Cox chided. "Feelings? You're still having shallow, loveless divorce sex like the rest of us."
"True," Gina nodded. "So how about you?"
"Me?"
"You did say 'the rest of us'," Gina quipped. "Who's the lucky lady?"
Dr Cox flustered a moment. "We're not talking about me here."
"Oh so there is someone huh?"
"Did I not say we weren't talking about me?"
"You're avoiding the topic Perry."
"No one ever got kudos for being a nosy nelly Blondie."
"I'll ask Carla."
"She hates you, she won't tell."
"Remind me why she hates me again Perrarino?"
"Because she can."
Gina let out a frustrated growl. "No fair, I thought we were sharing."
"I hate sharing," Dr Cox groused and then lightened up. "Ok, fine I'll tell you…back home I have…well would you look at the time, I better get back to the hospital."
"Perry!"
"We'll pick this up later," Dr Cox chided as he got to his feet. "Thankyou for breakfast, it wasn't just the food that was great," he added and winked before heading for the door.
"Anytime," Gina smiled giddily as her elbow squelching into her leftover eggs. "Ah crap!"
J.D staggered into the apartment; he felt quite woozy after all the alcohol he'd consumed on a near empty stomach. He looked over to see Todd sprawled on the couch asleep. He was sporting his trademark animal print underwear, his blanket long abandoned on the floor.
"Mmm boobies," he mumbled in his sleep. J.D looked at him strangely and then shuffled on into the bedroom.
Turk was already in the single bed; he was lying diagonally and cuddling the pillow. J.D half drunk, half-asleep stripped his clothes off clumsily. His scrubs ending up in various corners of the room, his sneakers in the hall, until he was eventually in nothing but his boxers. He then climbed under the covers, sliding into the available spaces; his legs stretched over Turk's with his feet perilously close to Turk's face, before he promptly passed out.
Squeak, squeak, squeak
"Ahhhhhh!" Elliot woke with a start and leapt off her bed. She stopped to cringe in the corner and looked mortified at the mouse that was now cleaning itself on her pillow. "That's so gross," she whimpered and scurried out of her room and into Carla's.
Elliot padded across the room, still wrapped in her covers and fell onto the bed next to Carla.
"Problems?" Carla mumbled sleepily.
"A mouse has taken up residence on my pillow," Elliot replied miserably.
"Gross."
"I know."
"We'll have to talk to someone about get an exterminator in."
"Yeah," Elliot agreed. "Can I stay here?"
"Sure," Carla yawned as she turned over away from Elliot.
"We should probably have someone look at the leaky tap in the kitchen too and find out why the bathroom smells like embalming fluid."
"Shut up Elliot," Carla grumbled. "Or I give you to the mice."
"Sorry," Elliot apologised and shut her eyes tightly.
Squeak, squeak, squeak
Carla and Elliott's eyes sprung open and they moved closer together.
Much Later That Day…
"I can't believe anyone would be stupid enough to think taking all their insulin at once is just a great idea," Dr Cox groused as he slapped down a clipboard at the nurses station. "Don't you sometimes think that we should be able to kick patients in the ass?" he added looking at the nurse that was closest to him. She looked mortified and fled in the direction of paediatrics. "Yes, thankyou for indulging me."
"It's sad to be that needy," a voice piped up and Dr Cox turned to see Dr Anderson beside him.
"Gee thanks for the pep talk Papa Smurf."
"Not a problem there Brutus."
"Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be sleeping or making toys or something?"
"I can't sleep," Dr Anderson shrugged, a hint of sadness in his voice. "Anyway, gives me a chance to check on my patients."
"Shall I go ahead and start playing my violin?" Dr Cox chided and then fell serious. "Listen, you're here for the same reasons I am. You've nowhere else to be right now."
Dr Anderson went to reply but was cut off by Dr Bruce. "Dr Anderson."
"Alan."
"I want a word with you about last night."
"I told you, it's never happened to me before."
Dr Cox stifled a laugh despite himself.
"Dr Anderson," Dr Bruce scowled. "Last night you let an inexperienced, foreign doctor tell the parents of a child that you knew was deceased, that she was fine."
"I didn't…"
"The parents were distressed Ross," Dr Bruce spat. "They've put in a complaint and at my hospital I don't like doctors who get complaints put against them."
"I think anything you have to say about last night is slightly hypocritical since you weren't even there," Dr Anderson retorted.
"I'd watch what you say Ross, I'm in two minds whether to suspend you until the whole thing is resolved."
"Look Alan," Dr Cox huffed, he turned around and crossed his arms. "Dr Anderson here did the best he could in the situation. It was mayhem in here and if only one mistake came out of it then, my god, you should be relieved."
"I don't remember asking for your opinion Perry," Dr Bruce scorned, before he looked stoically at Dr Anderson. "Go home Ross, you're suspended until further notice."
"You can't do that!" Dr Anderson wailed.
"I just did," Dr Bruce smiled before he turned on his heel and stalked off up the corridor.
"Dammit!" Dr Anderson spat and slammed the clipboard he was holding onto the desk in front of him.
"Easy there pal," Dr Cox said empathically. "Can I offer you some advice?"
Dr Anderson looked angrily at Dr Cox before his face softened. "Sure."
"Keep doing you job," Dr Cox chided. "He can't fire you for doing your job."
"You're speaking from…"
"Experience yes," Dr Cox nodded. "It also helps if you're sleeping with a board member."
"All our members are men."
"Doesn't mean you can't sleep with them," Dr Cox shrugged and was glared at for the effort. "OK, so take a different tact. You're sleeping with the media liaison, surely she's got the ability to smooth things over with the bereaved parents."
Dr Anderson nodded and then stopped. "Why are you helping me?"
"Because Popeye, I like Gina and I feel she'd be upset if you were to be kicked out of medicine for something that clearly wasn't your fault. Now don't go thinking this means I like you now or even care what happens to you because take note, I don't, I honest to god care about as much as I do for kittens, puppies or who's going to be the next American Idol. "
"It hasn't been the same since they kicked off JPL," Ross pouted and then raised an eyebrow coyly. "So you want to sleep with the media liaison too huh?"
Dr Cox went to respond but then stopped himself. "I think Fantasia is great," he babbled and then turned back to his clipboard.
"Boofhead," Ross scowled as he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. He glanced over his shoulder, let out a stifled squeal and then turned around to see Dr Bruce had appeared out of nowhere. "Don't sneak up on me!"
"I thought I told you to go home Dr Anderson," Dr Bruce spat.
"I'm working on it," Dr Anderson replied.
"Work on it quicker or I'll security evict you," Dr Bruce said nonchalantly and then stalked off in the direction of the cafeteria.
Despite the fact I was still suffering from the gallons of tequila Dr Anderson made me drink and a possibly broken foot from accidentally kicking Turk in the head, I was looking forward to working, not just because we were likely to be dripping in praise from our colleagues after last night's events but because I was now excited about working alongside Dr Anderson.
"I still think Skippy would be better at saving a kid down a well," J.D explained as he, Turk, Carla, Elliot and Todd entered the hospital in the evening.
"No way," Turk retorted. "Lassie would be the man for the job."
"Lassie was a girl baby," Carla mused as she let go of Turk's hand and fell into conversation with a nurse who just was finishing her shift.
"I knew that," Turk declared unconvincingly. "She'd be faster than a kangaroo."
"But kangaroos have pouches to store cookies in," J.D perked. "Lassie can't do that."
"Lassie is hot," Todd declared, looked at the more disgusted than usual looks from his friends and attempted to cover himself. "For a dog."
"Why good afternoon girls," Dr Cox piped up as he strolled over to the group. He looked haggard from the lack of sleep and extra workload he'd had to take on since Ross was suspended.
"Hey Dr Cox," J.D grinned inanely as Turk and Todd headed in another direction and Elliot was cornered by a man who was coughing so much he was struggling to breathe. "Is Dr Anderson around?"
"No, he's suspended until further notice," Dr Cox said distracted as he stopped to scribbled something on the clipboard in his hands.
"Suspended! What? Why?"
"There was a mix up last night and some parents were told their kid was fine when she was in fact taking up slab room."
"But he barely talked to any of the parents."
"Barbie did the talking."
"Oh."
"Anyway," Dr Cox mused finally looking up at J.D. "He's not here and so I'm being forced by the evil force that surrounds us to take charge. However, if I'm going to continue working to the best of my abilities I'm gonna need to get some sleep. In which case," he paused and handed his clipboard to J.D. "You're in charge Kylie."
"But I'm sleepy too," J.D pouted. "Turk likes to sprawl out in bed and I can't get comfortable without spooning." Dr Cox let out a whine, turned on his heel and headed toward the On-Call room. J.D looked at the clipboard in one hand and the backpack hung over his shoulder with the other. "Why can't I have a pouch…"
The pen that was secured under the clip on the clipboard slid out and fell to the floor. J.D went to retrieve it but the maintenance man collected it as he scooted past with a broom.
A pouch would have prevented that…