I'm Sorry…

By: Isleia

Summary: The thoughts of someone as he lay dying. Angst. Some sap. Songfic.

Disclaimer: If I owned this, would I be writing it? Man, I would have a game where Squall and Seifer would spend the whole time trying to get into each others pants! Kweh! But, frack, no, I don't own Final Fantasy VIII. And I don't rule Square-Enix. And I'm not Mr. Sakaguchi. Damn.

AN: Why did I have to get all angst all of the sudden? I don't feel upset. I'm actually really excited about Halloween! A friend of mine said he might dress up as Squall for it! But, who knows, maybe not. Whatever. I'm excited! On with this pile of fracking cal!

Italics is the song - "Untitled" by Simple Plan


Blank, emotionless eyes stared up into the night sky. It was pitch black with no moon out as the stars sparkled brilliantly. He continued to stare.

He couldn't believe this was happening to him. After all this time, after all that training… This truly was pathetic. He couldn't help but wonder what Squall would think about all this…

I open my eyes, I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light

I can't remember how, I can't remember why I'm laying here tonight

Shit. He just had to think about him didn't he? Especially now. Well, it isn't like he was going to come running once he found out.

And I can't stand the pain, and I can't make it go away

No I can't stand the pain

Damn his head hurt, but so did the rest of his body. That's what happenings when you're thrown out of your car via the windshield.

How could this happen to me, I've made my mistakes

Got nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life, I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me?

It was true, he had made many mistakes in his short life and he had no place left to go home to. Garden would never accept the person who had tried to destroy it. Thankfully, people were beginning to forget about him. But he was sick of it all. Sick of always being on the run from one government or another.

Everybody's screaming, I try to make a sound, but no one hears me

Despite it being 11:00 pm, there are people all around him. Guess that's what happens when your in a city built around the night life. He tried to speak, but nothing came out.

I'm slipping off the edge, I'm hanging by a thread, I wanna start this over again

He had tried that. Many times. He would try to start some kind of new life, but then some jackass from some military from some government would recognize him. Then the chase was on. Over and over again.

So I tried to hold onto a time when nothing mattered

He held onto his memories. The only safe thing he had. He held onto his memories of Garden, his friends, the orphanage, Squall…

And I can't explain what happened

He couldn't explain anything that had happened to him. He wanted to badly to apologize to everyone that he had hurt. To tell them he didn't know what he was doing, what he had done. Especially to Squall…

And I can't erase the things that I've done…No I can't

No one would ever forget what he had done, and he highly doubted anyone would forgive him either. He didn't care though. He just wanted to see one last person so badly…

How could this happen to me, I've made my mistakes

Got nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life, I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me?

He just wanted to see him again. He wanted to see Squall. His Squall. The Squall he remembered from childhood, to his teenage years and all the way to the sorceress war he had helped to start. He wanted to see the Squall he had fallen in love with.

Medics are all around him. They might as well stop, he's not going to make it. Not with his injuries. Some of the sound dulled when a person kneeled next to him. He looked up to see brown tousled hair, pale-peach colored skin, and a scar between two beautiful blue-gray eyes.

He smiled then. He got his wish. He got to see him one last time. Even if he wasn't real, he didn't care.

In his mind, and out loud, he said what he always wanted to say to the man he loved…

One week later. Balamb Garden…

Quistis silently stepped into the Commander's office. All of gang was with her as well. Selphie, Irvine, Zell and Rinoa stood quietly off to the side as Cid and Edea also entered the office.

Squall looked up and quirked an eyebrow. "Can I help you?"

Quistis spoke, softer than usual. "It's….it's Seifer."

"What about Seifer?" This caught his attention.

Quistis said nothing. She walked forward and gave the newspaper to Squall. She whispered, "Read."

Squall looked down at the paper and read. The first thing that caught his attention was the picture. Two cars had hit each other head on. Few could have survived that…

He continued to read. By the time he had finished, there were two streaks of liquid silver streaming down his face.

…Head on collision kills one. Drunk driver currently being charged for DUI. Driver of other vehicle was Seifer Almasy, the former Sorceress' Knight. His dying words were - "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I love you, I've always loved you…My Lion." No one knows who he was referring to…

All was silent. For all anyone could hear, was the Lion of Balamb, screaming in pain.

How could this happen to me, I've made my mistakes

Got nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life, I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me?


AN: Wow, that was… sad. Why did I write this again? Oh well. It sounded good at the time. Took me forever to figure out a title. R&R if you do so please. If not, no big. Just hope you all enjoyed my random spitball of angst!