Babies & Birthdays

A/N: This kinda complicated. Firstly, it's my first Lost fic and I know it sucks. Secondly, it doesn't really go along with what happens in the show because I started it in between watching two episodes. It technically comes after 'Raised by Another' but as if Claire was never kidnapped… if that makes any sense. Anyway, the baby hasn't been born yet… and everything else is pretty much the same. The title will make more sense in a few chapters time… I was just setting the scene with this 1. Oh and another thing… I really need a beta, can anyone help me?

Disclaimer: Don't own Lost… own the 'Lost Wall' in my room and the rights to call Mollie 'Losty' but that's all )

-

Anger flashed in Claire's blue eyes. It lay there as if it had never done anything wrong when she knew better. Grabbing the makeshift pillow from behind its head she pressed down hard, not letting go until she was sure no breaths could be heard. It didn't cry, it didn't move. It didn't live. Silence surrounded them both; the cold night wind's movement making her feel nauseous as she picked up the dead body and held it in her arms. Anger was replaced by tears, falling faster than ever before.

-

The dreams hadn't stopped. Each night she'd wake up, tears threatening at the corners of her eyes, her heart pounding in her chest. Each night she'd rest a hand delicately on her 'bump' just to check it was still there. Each night he'd watch her. It had almost become a routine, unbreakable not even when the desperate need for sleep kicked in, Charlie had to stay up. He had to be there if something happened. Something nearly always did.

This night was no exception. Claire had drifted off for no more than an hour before she'd started moving around, and then scratching at her 'bed', muttering words that Charlie couldn't quite catch. Jack had told him to wake her. Oh, he'd tried, but it didn't work. When he'd tried shouting her name to wake her up, she'd just started muttering louder, so he'd tried shaking. That led to her grabbing hold of him and not letting go for half an hour. The dreams had gotten too much, as they always did, and she'd finally woken a few moments later, crying and screaming. Charlie had rocked her back to sleep, somewhat precariously, but she'd fallen asleep nonetheless.

Now she was calmer, but Charlie could still see the silent tears rolling slowly down her cheeks and he knew it would not be long before the whole thing started over again. It was okay, he was used to it by now. Not so used to it that it didn't make him want to scream himself though, but enough that he could control it. He just wished he could do something to end it all, or at least to make her feel better even if it was only for a short while. He knew he couldn't fix it forever.

"Charlie?"

As he turned, he was welcomed by Kate, her green eyes drained of their usual gleam, a sleepy look replacing it. He smiled, "Hey,"

"Hey. How's she doing?" She sat down carefully on the log next to Charlie, looking toward Claire, who was still sleeping quietly.

Sighing, he looked down, "She's better… not so many dreams tonight. It's still early though,"

"You look like you need some sleep,"

"So do you,"

Kate smiled, running a hand through her long dark hair, "I guess I do. But if you like, I'll stay up with you?"

There was something about Kate that Charlie would never understand. She was caring and helpful, yet she knew how to use a gun or fight if she needed. He wondered how she'd come to learn. It didn't bother him too much though; she hadn't done anything to make him weary of her, in fact quite the opposite. She was always first to offer to help, and he liked that about her. Smiling back, he answered, "Sure, thanks,"

-

It was midday; the sun was beaming down over the island as everyone got on with whatever it was they did each day. Charlie and Claire were still sat in the same place that they had been all day, and all of the night before, but Kate had left them several hours earlier and nobody had really been by since. They were alright. They had water and even some food left over from the day before. Claire had even found a way of forgetting what happened during the restless nights and focussing on what the days had to give her. Top of her list: long, interesting conversations with Charlie.

"Right, so the guy says 'Mary, if you love me, you'll get rid of that parrot before I do!'"

Claire laughed. Things were alright really, if you didn't count the fact that they were stranded on an island and had been for several days. Or that some mysterious creature roamed the jungles next to where they were camped. Or… okay, thing weren't alright. But each day brought more reasons to be happy, even if the nights didn't.

"Charlie? Can I ask you something?"

He nodded, "Sure, anything,"

"Do you really think we're ever going to get off this island?"

Charlie turned to look her in the face. Even though she'd been laughing just a moment earlier, it had quickly been replaced by the scared face he'd come to know every night for the past week. He couldn't answer. She needed hope, and that was something he couldn't give her. Inside his head, he wasn't even sure what he believed anymore. Any hope he'd had, if he'd even had any to start with (he wasn't completely sure) had disappeared over the past weeks. Nobody had come. Nobody was going to come. Probably. But she needed something to hold onto.

"I don't know,"

Looking up at him, she sighed, two haunted eyes meeting his, "Neither do I. Nobody does, do they?"

-

It was just getting dark; the island was silent apart from the constant buzz of insects and the crackle of the fire which Kate had purposely sat away from. Everyone else sat around it, either eating the little food that the Korean people had made that evening or talking. Kate had nobody to talk to. Claire and Charlie, the only other people who weren't sat around the fire, were still sat where they had been all day, and she didn't want to disturb them. Anyway, she quite liked the time to think which she'd taken pretty much every night since arriving on the island.

The day had been pretty busy, Sawyer not helping as usual. As one of the other survivors was a diabetic and quickly running out of insulin, she'd spent the day searching suitcases. It was all they seemed to over be doing. Turned out, Sawyer had some but would only hand it over for a price – some of Kate's underwear. Unfortunately, she'd ended up having to give him them, and he'd handed over the medicine, enough for another month or so.

"Uh, excuse me, Kate?" Claire sat down carefully in the sand next to her, wrapped in a blanket, but obviously still cold.

"Hi, Claire,"

A weak smile came over her face, "Charlie said you had something of mine?"

"Oh! Yeah, hang on," Searching the pocket of her jacket, she pulled out a small pink book that she'd come across when searching suitcases, "Here,"

Claire took it, and immediately recognised her diary. Her name had been written on the front in a silver sparkly pen, finished with a few cute hearts. Holding the book close to her, she smiled fully. She'd put the book down somewhere on one of their first days on the island. Since then everything had been so hectic, she'd not had a chance to go and find it.

"Thank you Kate, you don't know how much this means to me," She smiled again before getting to her feet and happily walking off back in the direction of Charlie.

"Happy to help," Kate murmured after Claire had already left.